The Babylon Bee Finds 1970s Advice For Husbands

Ask the soy generation these questions

I think the guy on the cover is actor Patrick Swazi (sp?)

Hey honey, what’s todays date? There, I asked her for a date.

Make the mistake of marrying a “ Mama’s boy”. Then when the mil verbally abuses you, your husband will refuse to come to your rescue.

We don't have kids, but he compliments me in front of the cats.

Golden rule for husbands: never compare your wife to another woman, including previous flames/girlfriends or your mother.

My mother loves you, but I love you more

Honestly, the wife/mother love thing depends on a lot of factors. Is the mother a good mother? Is the wife a good wife? If a man has a bad wife, for his sake I hope he has a good mother and the reverse is also true. It shouldn't be a competition because the men are correct - it's absolutely a different kind of love. I say this with plenty of experience: our 50th anniversary is next spring.

"When was the last time you sent your wife a sexist meme?"

This morning, while pooping.

My dad called my mother every Friday to ask her out on a date

That's my brother spot-on! Barbeques a lot and does quesadillas.

That question about taking your kids out for a Coke, -obviously the important part is spending quality time with your kids, preferably one-on-one time with each individual kid. It doesn't have to be a Coke, just some quality time. This is one of my random memories of my father from when I was a boy. At one point, my dad began a tradition of taking me and my siblings out individually. I don't remember what the schedule was, -was it once a week he would take one of us somewhere, and then the next week he would take another one of his kids? Where did we go? What did we do? I don't remember these details. I just remember that he had a routine of taking one of us out on a regular basis for some quality time. Oh, and there were six of us, and he treated us all equally.

Notice how I remember this, even though I don't remember what we did. We remember what is important. It was important to me that my father cared enough about us to spend individual time with us. It was not important what we did, but that we got to spend one-on-one time with our dad. This is a good practice, and a good way to raise you children, and it could have a life-long affect.

My husband watches the kids while I go to karate classes — it’s better than a girls’ night out.

My hubby does all of these...minus the I love you more than my mother one. Thats just weird. Our marriage is far from perfect but little gestures like that go a long way.

My wife and I were married for over 43 years before she died in November from complications of early onset Alzheimer's disease, how does this score? We would tell each other this several times a day, "Nobody loves you more than I do except Jesus."
My mother and my wife got along great.

I love you more than my mother…,o-k

$20 in 1978 was worth $90 in today's money.

I've told my wife that my mother loves her more than my mother loves me.

So where is the: '1970s Advice For Wifes' then?

"Coke and conversation" ask Hunter.

It looks like it was easy being a husband in the 70's lol

I love the guys... lying worse than liberals in Congress.................................................................

In the words of Sean Connery...
"Sometimes they just need a little ...slap"
hahaha

Let’s be honest a woman wants to hear you love them more than your mother more than you expect. My fiancé has silent competition with my mother over my affection before we were dating. Definitely written by a lady lol

advice - Treat her right

"Very Oedipal." I don't know how to feel about this statement.

One of the rarest times I see a group of people and I feel comfortable with the way they all look and their personalities.

I love you more than my mother?? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That's the most sissy feminine sentence you can say 🤣 MAMAS BOIIIIII 🤣

"I love you more than my mother!" She replies, "I don't believe you, I think your mother loves me more."

pic on the cover looks like Robert Wagner 😳🤣🛟

It's actually kind of sad the way some of these things are worded. I'm traditionalist by nature but these aren't traditionalist, they're just a very low standard of love.

Joe still takes Hunter out for coke.

The mother question sounds ultimatum based. As in “it’s either me or her. Decide.“

Here's the best advice for husband's. Don't get married.

I've been married for 37 years now . I love my wonderful Wife more each day. God bless Her!

My wife and I have been married over 50 years,just not to each other. We get along great.

I'd take the "Love you more than my mother" statement to mean that you'd take your wife's side in an argument.

So Wise , Thank You . Good Humor

Joe Biden asked Hunter out for coke and a conversation once...and now we're here..

Babysat?

Like they rightly pointed out, love for your mother and your wife arent the same kind of love. Love isn't love, contrary to modern thinking.

Hey guys. Love this but here in the south barbecue is a noun. Grilling could be what you meant. Bless your hearts.

Definitely not babysitting! Thanks for catching that.

I have turned my husband down for dates! I take care of his needs, but I prefer to cook.

Never stop courting your wife.

This popped up in my feed. I was interested to watch since my parents were married in the 70’s. It was funny, lol! 😆 Btw, Emma resembles a young Scarlet Johansson.💗

I'm engaged to a beautiful Christian woman, she is God sent.

Gandalf - "Fly, you fools." Seems pretty clear to me.