"Things Were Going Well... Then He Ended it Suddenly"

I've been dating a guy for 2 months, at the beggining he promises all the good things, we have an amazing connection, lots of things in common, I haven't feel this connection in a long time, he said he love me, he wants this to work, until one day my car break down, I'm an inmigrant, I have no family here, so I ask him to help to figure out my car like connect me with a mecanic something like that he was just I'm not here to fix your problems, I wasn't ask to buy me a car, I wasn't expecting anything like that, I just want to hear let me see what we can do, i want to feel like he has my back, he's lack of empathy was so disappointed, then he said I'm stepping away from this, I ended up heartbroken

I had this 7 months and was a serious official relationship, was always consistent, booked trips 3 days prior and then blindsided me one evening to end it and tell me he had conflicting feelings for a coworker…. And then he just disappeared

I don't like starting out with a real life "example" not knowing the details and then losing momentum in the upcoming "we don't know"s, struggling to find answers.
I would much prefer starting and keeping the discussion theoretical, if the parties involved aren't right there to be interviewed.

My ex told me that he left me bcs the llving me used to be effortless but that it started taking more of his energy than it used to. Our relationship didn't change, I didn't change and there was no major life event that happened either. He said he doesn't know why it happened, that I did nothing wrong and that what we had was never insignificant to him. Just a week prior he was talking to his friend about marrying me and we were together for 3 years. We didn't have any major issues and we we're best friends. Idk how he could just leave, he promised me that he would never leave me

this girl had THE EXCAT SITUATION LIKE I DID, BUT WHEN I TELL YOU IN DETAILS this helped me soo much thank you❤

Btw this girl gave ALL THE RIGHT ANSWERS

Ladies let’s start a movement to end fucking delusion. Number one there’s barely ever that great of an actor out there that’ll pretend to be something they’re not for so long. THERES ALWAYS SIGNS STOP IGNORING THEM. Secondly you gave him ass and he started acting out a week later. He clearly didn’t like it that much or he felt he got it out his system. Move on and stop dwelling on b s. Believe people when they show you who they are.

Pretty much same thing happened to me, except I’m a guy and the girl broke it off, not me. Grateful for this video.

Special: People need to marry for Chemistry! It's awesome when a relationship just clicks.

I am here suffering like Charlotte right now.

As a man, this happened to me just now, dated her for 3 months then she lost interest and started being short, no more babe calling or hanging out, we were so close every weekend, I’ve been giving her space and distance, she never really told me she’s not interested but I’m worried at this point, when she does text me , it’s like I’m a friend.

So beautiful. As always ❤

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

One of the most powerful things Matt’s ever said- don’t date someone based on how you feel about them, date based on how they make you feel. Such a great line to remind yourself of when you find yourself anxiously overthinking because of someone’s low investment. It helps you instantly feel back in control.

consistency over intensity. that's a good one

I love how Audrey challenges Matthew and it’s so okay with him and her. She really questions things w vigor and honesty and intuition. I see why you two are a match. Good shit.

People getting carried away n then, not having the guts to be truthful about it .. ..
😐

Very powerful ❤

Mathew that saying about being in a hurry was so relevant today.

You two together are the perfect example of synergy and how marriage can (and should) enhance or complement what we’ve started building as individuals. Matt, you have so much insight and I love so much of what you say. Audrey then comes in and enhances it by asking the real world questions we as women would ask if we were there and then it helps you to provide additional clarity and explore what she’s says. It is just synergy in action. It’s how men and women are meant to complement each other’s strengths in relationship. Love it, thank you bringing Audrey in and may the synergies continue to come forth as your marriage grows in the richness of love and companionship.

I can change my mind anytime If don't see a girl fit.

Thank you Matthew and Audrey..going through something you mentioned and your discussion and the points you made inspired me to perceive points I initially thought of but discarded because feeling pain and other emotions. Your discussion inspired me to write to the person and tell him that whatever his reasons for the sudden change after 2 years, I choose to forgive him and wish him happiness with whomever he chose over marriage with me. I feel this releases me from the spiraling negativity I feel inside ...

glad they are adressing this topic

Please have a retreat in Australia 🙏

Love you both 🙌 absolutely great advise for everyone young and old ❤️❤️

i really like her point of view... shes very smart and u can tell she has a really good heart

What you are really saying is that men will lie or make false promises to get sex from women. We already know that, and that is why a high value woman doesn't even entertain the idea of 99 percent of men, much less the men themselves.

Oh I experienced the exact same problem here, I have given up on love like several times in the past. But I realised now, I can't let those fools make me give up on love! They wanna ghost me after long texts and pretending to care about me? It's their bad attitude, their fault, and their mistake.

And as for me, I will keep on trying on love, I will keep being nice n friendly to anyone, I it's hard but you gotta do it...

I recently found out a guy lied to me (which means he's about to do the ghosting after a long convo thing) and I just stopped replying to his texts. I didn't block him. I just read his msg and never replied. I think it made him kinda sad cause he even went to the extent of blocking me lol, whatever dude I cant be bothered 🙃

I wonder if he got confused once they had sex.....I pity young women today who are getting used.

I was seeing someone for 3 years then he suddenly blindsided me. I was careful I went slowly. How can you trust anyone who says they love you 😢

Sadly, this happens a lot in gay relationships. Borderlines, Histrionics and Narcissists dominate the dating scene.

Sending hugs to lady who was let down.

Wished i knew about this retreat before. 😮 Time got away from me. Hopefully i can go next year 😊

Sleeping with someone you're not married to *always* complicates things.

For men who complain about the state of women in dating.... this is why

Exactly, don't bet more than you are willing to lose. A lot of the pain comes from giving too much of yourself before you are ready. The fear could come a fear of losing the person. But, the right person will be patient with you if you need time.

He was married, never had children

He wanted to be with me

He got a divorce

We had sexual intercourse like 7 times and then I stopped, I told him that I wasn't going to until we got married, he agreed.

We both converted to Christianity and had the same religious beliefs.

We enjoyed playing music together, going out, talking...etc.

He equipped my apartment and helped me buy a car $, took me out, etc. A provider...

We talked about getting married, living together and have children

We used to have really ugly arguments but we were both always at fault...




Suddenly, 1 year and 7 months later, he couldn't take 1 more argument that we BOTH created, and he just broke up with me...

A: he got scared of the thought of being married again and "losing his freedom".

B: he found someone else who he really liked.

C: he never wanted to get married and it was just a facade to try and convince himself he wanted a serious relationship.

D) all of the above

He really invested in me... But something happened 🤷🏻‍♀️

So many times it’s “ he “ changes the mind . What if “ she “ does ?

Going through this, but she ended it. I understand the switch & confusion.

Loved this episode. As obvious as it may sound, I felt relieved when, on top of suggesting to slow it down, you admitted that in the end, suffering is part of the game. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to just think that this time I didn’t do anything wrong and sometimes, no matter how careful you are, you can’t predict the outcome

I had a similar experience and after feeling confused I had a chat with the guy, and got to know his insecurities and how scared he was to let someone in. It was never about me, he just wasnt ready but got excited about me and who I was, delved deep and couldnt handle it. He wasnt ready to take a risk on love and relationship. Be proud of who you are and know the right person will appreciate it.

He didn t like the seggs. That s it. Most likely he is sick and then he saw through the person and was sure he can t do it with her. Gurl, be lucky he is gone. Look f someone who wants to stay

Two years together and suddenly discarded with no good reason. Said I love you and days later says he doesn't want me anymore. A few months later he's with someone else. It was traumatizing. I'll never know why he left. I'll never get an apology. Being thrown away like an old toy that isn't interesting anymore is soul crushing. It will continue to take months to years of therapy and healing. I loved fully and trusted completely. There wasn't anything I wouldn't have done to fix things but he just said he wasn't interested in fixing anything. The most disrespectful thing was he nearly ghosted me even when I had to move stuff out of the house, tried to get family photos from him, and just deal with business. It's like he wanted me to disappear and not exist anymore. I wasn't even treated like a human being. From talking about marriage to treating me like trash has been one of the worst experiences of my life.

Or changes their mind after 36 years

I am Charlotte. Charlotte is me. Totally relatable.

When you're old you have to be in a hurry because you're running out of life.

ruby?... CHARLOTTE!!!

What the heck Matthew this guy that you are talking about is scumbag he cannot sleep with someone and in one week broke up with them. This is the difference between finding a job to commit with and relationship commitment between humans. And the way the difference between desire and wanted to be with her is a gaslighting technique. I’m sorry, but you are wrong.

So much emphasis is put on whether a man or woman gets it right while completely neglecting the collective impact of culture. There are cultures where divorce rates are much lower, marriages much more successful. Even in our own country, there have been eras where marriage was understood to be a lifelong commitment that was only natural since that's what the majority of everyone did. When you grow up in a culture, tribe, village, etc. that demonstrates the power of love, loyalty and faithfulness -along with happiness and the bonds that grow with close-knit families, marriage is nothing to fear or hate. It's when the culture, like now, totally trashes the idea of life-long faithfulness to anyone and starts trying to normalize victimhood and perversion that we get the disrespectful madness we currently see and all the blame gets put on individuals who are still trying to hold onto this idea that shared love is a glory like no other, yet they have no cultural context for the model of a successful relationship with a trustworthy partner. So much fear has been put into our minds about narcissists and psychopaths without equal education or examples of innocent and moral character traits. When negative messages are constantly reminding us to watch out for a boogie-man/boogie-woman, it's just going to lead to unnecessary suspicion and isolation. We have to change as a culture if any future generations are going to survive through successful marriages and relationships. We have to love purity and decency over reckless flings. We have to heal the trauma of past and current generations, again, if any future gens are to survive.

Problem is using feelings as a search criterion. By using feelings, you are actively screening for someone who makes you anxious. You should be screening for someone who makes you feel at ease. Charlotte can't find love because she has screened out the ones who have character and compatibility.

If, and strong if, he was caught up in the moment and not stopping to think clearly about things he was saying because he was caught up, then that’s not someone you want in your life anyway. It’s a lack of accountability and immaturity because there’s another person with presumably good intentions on the other end. This guy sounds like he got post-nut clarity and dipped after he got sex. Pathetic. Most men know what they’re doing and have been in situations like this before so I never buy that excuse - it’s pure horny selfishness when they lead women on like this.