Dear Overwhelmed Moms, Self-Care Isn’t Selfish | Liz Carlile | TEDxColoradoSprings

It’s the first time I bought a candle that I used to love 4 years ago and really feel the moment when lightning it and read a book … that’s it , it was everything I needed to feel self loved and have the power and joy to be with my toddler with happiness

I think we underestimate how the simple things can make such a big difference. The aim is quality over quantity. A few mins of self care everyday adds up to a lifetime of happiness for you and your family xx to all the amazing moms out there … you got this 😊

As usual

Self-care isn't selfish, but there was a time and place for it: when you were SINGLE. When you choose to become a parent, you have to accept the fact that your needs are going to have to come after others'. That's what parenthood is. It's no longer about you. It may be years before you get to have a break or to be able to buy things for yourself.

Gah, so many women are just never happy. Instead of enjoying singlehood, they race to settle down and get married, have kids, etc. Then once it happens they're not happy. News flash: self care becomes way less of a priority when you choose to become a parent. It is what it is. If you didn't take advantage of self-care when you were single, that's too bad. Stop feeling sorry for yourselves and embrace the role that you willingly signed up for.

I needed to hear this

I needed this so much. It felt like healing

To every mom and women on earth

It is not selfish to love yourself...1ST
It is mandatory..

Send a Hallmark card to ANYONE who tries to guilt, shame,criticize,
You....
I am returning your guilt,shame,critisism..
You have the wrong name and address.
Sincerly Yours,

Having a cup of Tea 🍵headphones 🎧 IN and listen to you is worth of 9.28 minutes ❤

Thanks to my Doctor friend Aakshu 😊

SELF - CARE IS NOT SELFISH 🎉

Today alone ive been told by my baby's father that I'm selfish and acting like a child because I'm suffering from depleted mother syndrome (dps) and I said i don't want to be around my child right now. He was being really rude and i said i regretted letting him back in my house and he was arguing that he's expected to pay for everything because i dont work (even though I literally have a job interview tomorrow but thats not good enough) and when i mentioned that I have an interview he then switched tracks to ask who is going to watch the baby. He was saying that I'm just going to go to work and come back and still be upset towards my son and that I'm just going to "rely on some minimum wage worker to raise him".. i can't win here. Im either lazy and at home and frustrated and in a bad mood all the time, or I'm never there, making someone else riase my child, and gonna be angry for having to come home to my baby, according to him. This is not okay for me. I'm trying. I'm very young, I'm 20, i had him at 19. I still have a lot to learn and I still need HELP and a break and I am made to feel like sh!t for it.. i needed to hear this today. I hope all of you get through this..

I'm a mom of two little babies, I feel overwhelmed stress and anxiety, being with a baby for the whole day whith no self care or breake it gets me insane at the end of the day.... I feel that I have lost every thing after having babies... I lost my self...I'm tired... my body is tired as well... and I'm just 25 years old... everybody around me say " you have to be strong".... how I can be strong when the kids take my whole energy during the day....... I hope they get old or get some help....

Thank you

I've neglected my teeth and gained weight while raising my kids. I wish I could go back in time.

I am in tears thank you for this message ❤

The visualization of having your 5 year old self sit with you was incredible. Thank you!

Yesterday was the first day I had bought myself something that wasn't necessarily "needed" in 5 years. Coming from a mom of 4 with a husband that works all the time, self care is a must that I am starting to realize.

I started crying in the store today because it’s the first time in 3 years I have bought new clothes for myself.

I'm regularly told don't be selfish 😢

Nope.

Wow you realised this after 6 weeks after having a baby! It's taken me years! Well done! Good talk

Its been a Year since I had my daughter and I still feel lost within myself. This made me want to better myself and do more things for me. I have done my hair in a year I have made my self look presentable in a year. It’s time to change and feel good about mw. I grew a child I deserve to feel so amazed by ME. thank you💜

I don't think any mom fights the idea that they need and deserve a break. But how exactly could that possible happen? I haven't even been able to lock the door when I go to the bathroom for almost 10 years now. I would kill for a break, but it will never ever happen. There is no "village" and nobody I know can afford to pay for one.

5 stars bc she made me cry, omg I needed to hear this 🙌🏿

What if everybody around you tell you that you are selfish? Kick you down mentally if you complain and want something for yourself?

The part where we imagined our young selves broke me down. It made me realize I’m not taking care of myself and child me would not be happy. Time to work on making some me time.

I’m a failure 😞 every morning I get up , say to myself okay I will get this done etc. Brush teeth and wash my face with cold water to get ready for the day. Go downstairs make myself some coffee to get in the mood. Make my family breakfast, eat , makes sure I take vitamins B for energy but after breakfast I went t take a nap because I feel so exhausted . Idk what it is I’m just blehhhhh. My husband also thinks self care is selfish so if I mentioned it, he would go off on me.

Can someone give me the break & $$ & time to take these selfish breaks???? Work to pay bills

I needed this pep talk. Thank you 🙏🏾😊💜☀️

Me 10 mins ago: Oh I can throw this on to listen to while I clean up!
Me now: On the floor bawling my eyes out
😂

This is all true. Until you have a partner who's not supportive. I pray I get out of my misery soon.

Are the best mothers the ones that have been aboard a Navy ship?

She has the most beautiful way of talking, it goes to my heart, i wish she read audiobooks, who is she, I'll Google her now

Ok I'm crying now after she made me imagine

🙏👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👍🏿👍🏿🙏🌄🤗🌄

The world needs to normalize that PARENTS DESERVE BREAKS! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
ESPECIALLY mothers because there is IMMENSE pressure on us, single or married.

I needed this pep talk. Thank you 🙏🏾😊💜☀️

Yes. “No one can feed from an empty pot”

I’m watching this with headphones while my toddler is having a tantrum. All the feels

I became depressed because my partner worked 2 jobs and left me on my own for months when he travelled abroad I couldn’t cope with the children 24/7 around the clock I began forgetting to clean my teeth not having even enough time to shower when I realised the effect of the constant pressures I put my daughter in part time nursery which gave me enough time to have a bath do my makeup paint my nails etc. There was a lot of judgement people said I didn’t care about my daughter because I had put her in nursery for 3 hours a day it wasn’t that I didn’t care it just meant that I had recognised that I was human too.

Haven’t started the vid yet but anyone else feel like they’ve taken self care to not wanting to do anything

Thank you, great talk... my passion is helping women with this same topic, because I was that women you were as well.

I wish I had the time but I barely have time to eat or sleep or comb my hair and their father rarely ever helps and when he does its not willingly

We are living in a culture of prevailing sadomasochistic self-destruction.

There is no time for self care

The major takeaway: Self-care and self-love is not selfish! Every mom, women need to hear this.

I am a single mom, not by choice. But, it's pretty tough. There's no support, and of course, I expect to do the work myself, I am the parent after all. But, the problem is, I am not a machine. I haven't had even one hour to myself in two years. I don't even remember what it's like to relax and watch a movie, or eat hot food. I don't get to take a shower without worrying if my daughter is going to be fine in her crib for 15 minutes, and I wait until she's asleep. So, I shower two times a week. Because some nights I am so exhausted that after I see that my child has gone to sleep, I relax for a minute and I fall asleep right there. I also have to work, like most adults . I have two family members, but no one has ever offered to take her for a couple hours. I don't ask. I did ask once, when I was so tired I did not feel good, but, I was told that I don't need to have any one watch her while I interview on the phone. So, I wait until she is preoccupied before I call a prospective employer back (I was laid off due to budget cuts). Her Father is NOT in the picture, and doesn't help financially after our engagement ended. So, it's a lot of pressure to do it all with no help. I know I need to take care of myself so that I can keep it all together, but it's not possible. I don't want to be a stressed out mommy, so, I always try to be happy for her so that she doesn't see me stressed.

Self care and looking after yourself makes for a better mum too, I think... More energy and more patience for your kids...

🦋everything is about the baby. It’s easy to forget about yourself

Love this! I'm a single mom to twins and I have found it so important to make sure that I am making time for me so that I can be the best for my boys!

I think this conversation about self care for moms is such a timely, important one. We have such a hard time realizing that "self care is not selfish..." Well done -