Foster dad considerations when foster child is scared of men

Thank you. Children deserve compassion and consideration like any person, especially a traumatized child. I am grateful this world has you, and I hope it has many like you.

the blanket one. thank you so much

You know what really got me even being 9 and 1/2 cm. I was still taking my contractions and everything like a champ. What I hated the most is when they come in. While you're still resting, you know so they come in. Wake you up. Ask you how you're feeling and do you feel the contractions? Because the monitors shows strong ones. Like b why would you wake me up if you see I'm knocked out not feeling nothing but now I'm feeling it because you mentioned it lnao.

You and Laura are the best❤❤❤ I am so glad you found each other and decided to become foster parents❤❤❤❤❤❤

I've honestly been thinking about when i'm old enough going into adopting a teenager/pre-teen or fostering so thank you for making these videos.

Can you create this same video but with advice for a same sex couple? Thanks!

❤️

This is so thoughtful, both of you are wonderful human beings and the world needs more people like you ❤

Make sure hands are visible broke my heart. Anyone who harms a child deserves the deepest layer of hell

Oh this is the sweetest one 😭 I’m so so glad there’s people like you two in the system ❤

Danke!

What if they are scared of women. That’s definitely a thing too

Kind of weird that I already do this regardless if the person is a male of female, this is my approach too, just perfected lol

God bless you and every child you foster!❤️❤️

thanks for the help♥️

Lady, I can totally see why you're with this man!

This is so important

Thank you for sharing, this is such an overlooked issue.

Please keep up the good Foster !! Will you foster me ???😅

Y’all are so kind

Above all, don't take it personally. They're not scared because of you - they're scared because someone's hurt them, you're just reminding them. It's not your fault and it's not their fault, it is the fault of the person who hurt them.

He looks like the kind of man who is a harmless teddy bear through and through, but will absolutely flip his sh*t if someone harms his family.

He's a kind and good man :)

Ill be adopting in the future and foster would probably be only babies or more mature kids. The trauma it causes hurts as a foster child acting like this helps alot. Not just for situations but it creates a comfortable environment

Thanks for sharing this video my family might be fostering/adopting soon so now I know what to do and what not to!

This video comes with all sorts of implications I don't want to think about.

Honestly if all parents and adults interacting with kids applied these attitudes towards all kids, their own and not, the world would be wildly improved upon
I sometimes see people commenting on videos anything to do with gentle parenting, being against physically attacking or publicly/psychologically socially shaming or hurting your child, treating your childs feelings with respect and understanding/ all but beating them to "toughen them up" - saying that these things will result in spoiled badly behaved children
I often see on videos of children behaving badly in public, swearing, disobedience etc, followed up by the parent publicly shaming, punishing them with physical punishment or destroying belongings or shaving hair, etc people saying "good on you parents! Kids do this because they don't get punished like you're doing to them here!" Completely oblivious to the fact that the kids doing this are the kids raised by these parents using these kinds of punishments!!

But the videos themselves are always posted by the parents

Despite having seen this video multiple times already, i still watch it and fully appreciate it every time - your advice and non condescending/making the "wrong example" into an unflattering, or even vilifying cruel caricature of a character in your advisory videos like this, (unlike so many others, and despite the pressure to do so to fit the content stencil and to appeal to the appetite for situations presented with a clear "good vs bad or hero vs villain" angle
You play the inexperienced foster parents without shaming or cruel portrayals
No silly voice, no weird outfits, no hyperbolic exaggerated version of the mistake!!
And id also add that your content is equally valuable to all parents and adults and people etc! Because these behaviors, parenting attitudes/methods, approaches to interaction with children etc are absolutely universally applicable!
Both to teachers/babysitters/daycare workers/family/friends of guardians etc and to parents themselves, no matter if biological, step, foster, adoptive, etc!

Just so you know that the walking towards them without saying why can also be triggering. That's what it looks like when he comes to your room at night. Be sure to talk while you walk. Make some noise so you're not seen as sneaking up on them.

This should be mandated training for every foster parent and every applying foster parents. Every month. Forever.

So warm

This is also wonderful for step-parents (and people in general, really!). Providing options, care, and control to children who are in a situation where they're unsure where/how they or the step-family fit in. These are invaluable tools to guide them as they navigate unknown territory from choppy waters.
"I'm sorry. Do you want a hug or should we go find __?" That's a perfect phrasing that I wish I would've thought of years ago. When a child is hurt, uncomfortable, lonely, a step-parent offering nurture can unfortunately be really awkward.

My dad tells me to shut up during flashbacks 💀💀they couldnt help me cuz i was almost 18

Such an important message! 💕

There's not many foster dad's I remember seeing only one foster dad at a event for foster child at Christmas time and he had 3 teen boys they had made homemade stuff bears for all the younger children and he was boys I know I shouldn't be telling you this here but I officially adopted all of you 😭 everyone was so happy and the older boy was telling me he had been in the system since birth and just wanted a real father

took me a second to figure out why sharing a blanket could be triggering but once I realized I appreciated how thoughtful this approach to caretaking really is

This is so beautiful. ❤

The alcohol tip is always too real for me personally... good job!

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This would have made the world of difference to me!

This is making me tear up im so glad theres someone out there who understands and actually cares about it, instead of forcing the kid to 'get over it', this is building their trust again and thats so amazing, lots of love to this video!

I love most that he never came off as uncomfortable with the situation. Nervous = will try to control = danger. Or, walking on egg shells = something is wrong with you. I still hate when people get nervous around me and I am so much more comfortable when others are comfortable.

I'm 21 yrs old and pretty scared of men, I've been sexually assaulted and abused by multiple men, it's a difficult thing to deal with because I'm just told to not be dramatic and not all men are that way but I struggle when I've never really had a positive experience with men all my life, it's so beautiful to see your patience and kindness with understanding the struggle some children and people face

This would’ve been so nice to have in my life when I was growing up in foster care.

Omg I wish I had someone to show this too. If I had a new dad who was like this that's would be the best. I get uncomfortable around men easily (not for no reason, I was a victim, along with my 3 siblings, of abuse and I was the only one who fell into the SA and Grape category)

I just stumbled upon you and your wife account and now I'm watching all your videos balling my eyes out at 3 am. I wish nothing but the best for you two and your kids. Thank you for all your efforts it means a lot more than you can even think.

There are so many getting much needed healing by seeing the proper way to handle a child.. helping them to cope with the trauma and loss they suffered. It helps one process that they were taken advantage of by a predator and that NONE OF IT was their fault

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! <3

What I would have given for an adult like this in my life when I was younger

This just made my day, I’m so glad that there are foster kids out there getting this kind of compassion and understanding. Thank you so much for sharing this advice.

Laura. As someone who was an older teen in and out of care for long weekends and 30 day jail stays (mother is an addict) your content has healed a part of me that I didn’t know needed it.
I remember being ‘the mom’ working even around 13/14 at a local diner. And my younger siblings were MY kids to me. And I just want you to know that what you do matters and I appreciate you