Elder Scrolls Lore vs Elder Scrolls Lore

the dragonborn smoking a cigarette gets me every time

Tamriel is just a grain of sand...

"But at the same time, all of it is true. Even the falsehoods. Especially the falsehoods." -Urag gro-Shub

Скумма в конце делает это видео полностью достоверным 😂

Isn’t the elder scrolls like a dream of some super computer?

Elder scrolls lore: hehe, lizard maid 🤭

Also elder scrolls lore: Lyg, Dragon break, Godhead 💀

The Real Barenziah 😖

The only time anomaly that was ever cool was the Warp in the West, where every possible ending to Daggerfall happened simultaneously and dramatically reforged the entire history and landscape of the world, which we're still seeing the consequences of, even as long after as Skyrim.
Fuck Dragon Breaks and fuck Emil.

Daggerfall Lore be like

Writer 1: “So you know how our game had multiple endings? What if we made them all canon?”

Writer 2: “Dude you can’t do that, it’s impossible, the endings all contradict each other”

Writer 1: (snorts a line of coke) “Watch me”

that's a thing that I think es does really well. you can play through the games and never worry about the lore, what you're doing is decently clear but if you want to you can dive so deep into the lore that you end up on a different planet

ES lore peaked during Morrowind. Since then, everything went downhill (except for in Shivering Isles. That's an equally tall peak)

The real "unfathomable mindblower" is how hard Morrowboomers are malding at the fact that Bethesda doesn't care, and is busy drinking their tears. Skyrim for life.🍻

Sitting in the nursing home reminiscing about how badass you used to be on 7 gram rocks, lol.

Скайрим для Нордов!

Skyrim lore vs elder scrolls lore

The best lore is the one that isn't in the books.

Back when Bethesda actually tried

Slightly less deep than Eastern European p*rn lore

Morrowind: you are the neravar, hero of old reborn in an age of blight as the 6th house and the tribe unmourned ready there accension to power to drive out the mongrel dogs of the empire, as their god Dagoth Ur awaits his reunification with fate within the heart of lorkon.

Skyrim: "lets add this cool dragon mechanic, that would be fun" - Todd Howard probably

A decade of gaming is based on several nights of writing on drugs

is Argonian maid canon?

My walkthrough of Skyrim:
Reading books

It's just so sad there won't be a second morrowind because damn the quality dropped in the next installement

I would sell my soul for Michael Kirkbride to be involved with TESVI

Elder scroll lore: Also the water is time, yokuda is in the past, tamriel present and akevir future

My favorite tid bit of ES lore Is how In the 9th era, the dragon space empire, and the Argonian’s space empire are at war, and the latter use mathematics as literal weapons, shoot out their space ships made of roots and trees

love the image of vivecs spear as a dildo(context is that it is molag bals dick)

Oh Queen Ayrenn, don’t look upon the modern Dominion for it would bring you eternal shame.

"To master Lore, you must first accept that reality is a falsehood. There is no such thing." Reality and Other Falsehoods

"Yeah im a big Fan of Molag Bal! He was great in Skyrim!"

Me: akward silence

The Lusty Argonian Maid lore

Powerscaler’s wet dream

Here's a fun fact, since Elder Scrolls works on an ancient/medieval intetpretation of space and the solar system, there are a bunch of fucking spaceships in the settings attempting to breach the veil between Mundus, Oblivion and Aetherius and there are fucking moon colonies.

Who put the beloved psychopathic ai in there?

Finding books in an Elder Scrolls game is wild because they fluctuate between "Haha! Funny lizard maid pron book!" and "Your belief in free will is a lie for we are all but shadow puppets dancing to the whims of beings whose very existence we cannot comprehend."

Chim:

Jobs in the fourth era: Bandit, City Guard, Farmer, Trader

Jobs in the third era: Cliff Racer Exterminator, Religious Extremist Paladin, Crackhead Grand Spymaster, GOD

not enough of the dov

It’s really sad that elder scrolls has moved away from esoteric and truly unique to generic fantasy. Bethesda is playing it too safe and it would be awesome (albeit quite unlikely) if the brought kirkbride back to be a director for the series

ATTAIN A GIANT WAR MECH
ACHIEVE APOTHEOSIS
RETROACTIVELY CHANGE A JUNGLE INTO FORESTS AND GRASSLANDS
ALTER TIME ITSELF SO THAT PEOPLE FORGET IT WAS EVER A JUNGLE

I JUST GOT THE COCAINE JOKE, AND IT WASN'T REFERENCING SKOOMA. BRILLIANT.

The 36 Lessons of Vivec: Sermon Thirteen -
These were the days of Resdaynia, when Chimer and Dwemer lived under the wise and benevolent rule of the AMLSIVI and their champion the Hortator. When the gods of Veloth would retreat unto their own, to mold the cosmos and other matters, the Hortator would at times become confused. Vivec would always be there to advise him, and this is the second of the three lessons of ruling kings:

'The secret syllable of royalty is this: (You must learn this elsewhere.)
'The temporal myth is man.
'The magical cross is an integration of the worth of mortals at the expense of their spirits. Surround it with the triangle and you begin to see the Triune house. It becomes divided into corners, which are ruled by our brethren, the Four Corners: BAL DAGON MALAC SHEOG. Rotate the triangle and you pierce the heart of the Beginning Place, the foul lie, the testament of the irrefutable-for-a-span. Above them all is the horizon where only one stands, though no one stands there yet. It is proof of the new. It is the promise of the wise. Unfold the whole and what you have is a star, which is not my domain, but not entirely outside my judgment. The grand design takes flight; it is transformed not only into a star but a hornet. The center cannot hold. It becomes devoid of lines and points. It becomes devoid of anything and so becomes a receptacle. This is its usefulness at the end. This is its promise.
'The sword is the cross and ALMSIVI is the Triune house around it. If there is to be an end I must be removed. The ruling king must know this, and I will test him. I will murder him time and again until he knows this. I am the defender of the last and the last. To remove me is to refill the heart that lay dormant at the center that cannot hold. I am the sword, Ayem the star, Seht the mechanism that allows the transformation of the world. Ours is the duty to keep the compromise from being filled with black sea.
'The Sharmat sleeps at the center. He cannot bear to see it removed, the world of reference. This is the folly of the false dreamer. This is the amnesia of dream, or its power, or its circumvention. This is the weaker magic and it is barbed in venom.
'This is why I say the secret to swords is the mercy seat. It is my throne. I am become the voice of ALMSIVI. The world will know me more than my sister and brother. I am the psychopomp. I am the killer of the weeds of Veloth. Veloth is the center that cannot hold. Ayem is the plot. Seht is the ending. I am the enigma that must be removed. These are why my words are armed to the teeth.
'The ruling king is to stand against me and then before me. He is to learn from my punishment. I will mark him to know. He is to come as male or female. I am the form he must acquire.
'Because a ruling king that sees in another his equivalent rules nothing.'
This is what was said to the Hortator when Vivec was not whole.

The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

"You is a dragon slayer. And i am a pussy slayer"
-Miraak upon hearing about the last dragonborn, 4E 201

Imagine read up on TES lore and before playing TES games

Remember when a daedric prince gave an ayelid queen an atomic bomb because her husband rightfully called her out when she cheated on him and then he proceeded to successfully seduce the guy she cheated on him with.

TIL you can use torches to make locking easier.

lol I made the video in the bottom right