How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Those videos are so not adhd friendly

I'm trying to understand my husband who has ADHD more and strangely I think I have something similar to RSD. Interestingly I have the reaction part but not the feeling part. I react but don't even know why or what I'm feeling. I also don't have ADHD. I think mine is from trauma when I was a teenager.

I have navigated these turbulent seas...forever, only recently diagnosed with ADHD, I did everything I could to kill that feeling....led me down may dark paths. I thought I was broken. Now I know what it is! And that I am not alone!

I have this. Being left on seen or not even having your DM even opened is tough

I hate when I try to explain how I feel to other people and they just dismiss it. It’s like get over yourself, tell yourself some affirmations. It’s so much deeper than that.

Three things that helped me with RSD have been journaling, elminating strong caffeine, and mindfulness combined with CBT, there are some good exercises in the book "30 Days to Overcome Rejection" by Harper Daniels.

Thank you for describing the indescribable

My anger turns inward...I rage at myself. The internal dialogue is horrific.

I was in AP history class when I was 15. I never once picked up that textbook. Then I would cry for hours because I had an F in the class and was a “failure”.

I can describe it; Its a pain felt under the ribs and in the chest with no discernable true locations, it hurts behind the eyes and at time in the temples. It causes loss of apatite therfore causing hunger pangs. The pain is all over but centered on various levels of the body mind convergence. It hurts without abject proof and is a source of other negative feelings like shame and inadequacy. It hurts in ways only a sufferer can understand, I hate it but with out it I'd be lost.
During elementary school I was a peaceful hyper kid that only wanted to play and be nice to people. I got bullied pretty bad being I was from a poor single parent home. I was always small cuz of picky eating, and looked like a pushover. I've taken my fair share of beatings and won a decent amount of fights. I fear rejection so it limits my ability to be truly honest with even my most closest friends of family. I hate my life because of this at times. I understand and can describe this horrible feeling do any of you relate?

I think I'm in the situation where... No matter how good I think I am at writing, I just don't write. I have this dread... This... Unexplainable sensation that I should be doing anything else. I think it's such a strong fear of rejection that... It's easier to not even try...

Crippling. I describe the feelings as crippling. Walking on eggshells, terrified that if you misstep, you’ll lose a friend, but not only that, you’ll trigger an avalanche, and everyone who is even remotely related to the situation will probably walk away too.

Is it possible to remove YT’s stuff at the end of this video? They cover up the words & ruin the vid.

I heard of RSD for the first time today and it makes so much sense. I’ve been diagnosed with adhd since age 4 and been rejected constantly throughout childhood(mostly romantically) and have low self esteem issues as an adult.

Something I find to be a big issue is the fact that not very often in these videos do they talk about why RSD happens. It is not something a person is just born with and it's not simply stemmed from ADHD or ASD. RSD is a product of long-term rejection throughout childhood because of the way ADHD traits manifest in a person's personality. It happens when a child is asked if they took their meds that day after they do something energetic or bubbly. Or when the executive function impairments are misunderstood as laziness or a personality flaw. There are thousands of examples of ways people with ADHD or ASD are rejected every day of their lives by neurotypicals. No wonder we are sensitive to rejection. It's not dysphoria it's a reasonable reaction to something that happens very unfairly and very often because of the stigma and lack of understanding of the conditions. I find the labels and boxes that are given to people who are different by the people who are rejecting them in the first place to be very problematic. Why can't we see it as a reasonable reaction to an upsetting reoccurring situation? I'm not hating on these videos, I just wish they would include this validating tidbit.

Good explanation. I wish the end cards weren’t blocking the words in the presentation. (Also, my dad used to tease me and call me “fragile” when I was a little kid. Turned out he was just being an a$$hole but wouldn’t realize it until he was in therapy when I was almost 20 — years after my beliefs about myself and how men should treat me were set.)

the best way i can ever describe it to others is like you're choking on a raw potato

Bingo!! That's what I have. Calling a Dr tomorrow.
I am in so much pain rn.. and it's all linked witb adhd. I feel reject lonely worthless and the worst person on earth

RSD is like the part of a Disney movie where the villain sings his evil song and your just one of the minions getting stomped on scrambling to follow orders.

okay but it's not "dysphoria" if the perceived rejection is real is it?

For me, RSD shows up immediately if I think someone else is concluding I'm dumb or incompetent. Happened a couple times this week- really makes me wanna resign all obligations for the rest of the night, call out of work, and stew/lick my wounds. Really hard, in moments like this, to think objectively and not let it consume me, and go on and tackle my night.

I feel for the people on the receiving end of these attacks: trying to communicate an issue shouldn’t get you yelled at/dismissed/abused. ADD or not, everyone deserves respect and shouldn’t be subjected to tantrums because of perceived rejection.

Getting negative feedback is a part of life. You have to learn coping skills. Having to walk on eggshells to avoid fights is the first sign of a deteriorating relationship.

A coworker who trained me rejected my follow request on linkedin and I went as far as making fake accounts on linkedin, checking periodically if she followed back, checking if she had posted anything etc., if she had followed other people in the group (she had) just to be able to determine whether she had in fact denied my request, I didn’t want to believe it bc it was too painful to accept.

I already feel “different” and am afraid of people “discovering” me and not liking me so this was so painful. I literally felt debilitated for days, ruminating about where I went wrong when I had been so nice and tried to act so normal. I was so distraught and even had suicidal thoughts. I don’t know if anyone else has been through this to this extent but omg it’s hard to live life like this 😢😭

This is a lovely and needed video - but it's not at all what the title promised...

It can be mistaken by borderline personality disorder?

Can someone explain how RSD is NOT just emotional dysregulation? It seems to me that this perceived rejection is just an inability to regulate and monitor rejection. This is a genuine question; I'm not looking to debate.

A lot of people told me that RSD is just ptsd but rejection sensitivity is not really caused by trauma. One time I had RSD attack from a person, and when I got angry and blamed her for the pain I’m having. other people got angry at me and told me to stop blaming everyone and that I was hiding behind my disorders. So based on what they said to me, I have learned that staying stuck of what happened in the past and only focusing on the pain will only just ruin your future, and whoever criticizes me because of something I did that could have been wrong to take it as a advice to become a better person, despite how much that will trigger my RSD. And to be honest it actually changed the way I feel about being insulted and criticized and it doesn’t really hurt as much as it used to anymore.

Just remember, having this disorder does NOT mean you have a right to expect people never to reject you or say "no." My own wife, who is NOT ADHD has berated me for refusing to let her spend crippling amounts of money or shirk chores and projects she's promised to complete, and God forbid I get upset about it - "it's a real disability," so I'm always the asshole. So I'm expected to just do whatever these people want to me, because "it's a disability and I could have it." But I won't. I don't care. I have rights and feelings, too; RSD is not an "abuse whoever you want and get away with it" card.

Would you be okay with a judge siding with rapists because they claimed they have this disorder? If they get an RSD diagnosis and say you're insensitive and shouldn't refuse them, should men be allowed to rape you and go unpunished? No, that's ridiculous, right? REAL mental disorders are the responsibility of the person who has them to learn to cope with them. But there are too many people who would rather try to cash in on the opportunity to abuse others and escape repercussions for their actions. I'm suddenly surrounded by them.

Needed this so bad. Thank u

That last sentence, saying you are not broken...tears nearly came out...Its just what I've felt as normal all these years. I'm glad I'm not alone.

its hard to explain to people what this is :(

Good video but you didn't address the whole point of the video!
I still don't know "How does Adhd ignite RSD"?!

I’ve had so many experiences with this, Once my science teacher told me to pay attention in class and I went home and cried for like 45 minutes. I felt like a failure and like I lost value because someone else was disappointed with me. I am so relieved that other people with ADHD experience this as well and that there’s a community of people who understand how I feel :)

Good short video offering an explanation and hope! So why was such gloomy music chosen?

I’m constantly afraid of criticism, failure, rejection, and disappointing others. It’s like I’m shell-shocked and I can’t shake it. It really is hell.

It's so fucking horrible how out of this world angry I get at my closest friends. I don't recognise myself after an episode... :(

I just sat and cried through this very short video, still shaky from becoming angry two days ago.

When you search for a professional to diagnose you with possible add, but even your GP rejects you, your shrink ghosts you. Irony. The downward spiral is real.

thanks

can you read it to me? i have adhd

Even if it’s not my fault, having this still means I’m damaged

How do you fix it?

At 48 years old, I have always just thought I was chronically insecure, even though I have tremendous confidence in most social situations. This brought tears to my eyes when my therapist told me about it. It’s pretty easy for me to feel like I am so incredibly inadequate, that no one should like me, even though so much evidence does not support these feelings of self hatred. I think we are they ones who really reject ourselves the most?

My tutor was super upset with me because I didn’t finish my homework in time. And I felt this extreme mental pain and I was near a mental breakdown and I was near punching a wall. I think I have this and adhd. But I feel no one understands me. I feel like a failure.

I’ve been diagnosed with having bipolar ii disorder and this makes so much sense.

Everything I see is about ADHD and RSD, but I’m the furthest you can get from ADHD, but I have suffered with C-PTSD and the depression and anxiety that goes with it or years, and definitely have RSD and I can clearly connect it to my PTSD. But I can’t find anything about how it may appear in people unrelated to ADHD. I hope this doesn’t wind up limiting the DX just to people with adhd by doctors who think you have to have one to have the other. Or worse- doctors seeing n RSD dx and assuming you have adhd.

Also, I’d describe it as burning alive.

How do I fix this?