I Love My Wife . . . But I Don’t Like Her

This is so misogynistic you’re not providing anything if you’re not going to be emotionally available. And to say it was unintentional IT WAS HE DECIDED TO NOT BE THERE FOR HIS FAMILY. From the jump the stress of his safety being in the army then a child and a pandemic and he checked out. He is selfish and a coward.

I’m grateful for this videos. Reminds me to stay single. It’s shocking to hear how many men don’t even like or like their wives. A lot of times they knew this before proposing. Their wives are sleeping with the enemy literally.

He is a Pilot….he is working hard to put food on his families table….he absence is not by choice

That’s why on a dating app if I immediately see pilot, I swipe left very fast.

Im wondering if he's comparing her to flight attendant coworkers and just wants permission for a divorce???

It doesn’t sound like she likes him very much either tbh. I wonder what happened between them

Did he just notice these behaviors now???? He never dated her???? If she didn't behave like that in the past, and it's something new, they both should look into what's creating it?

7 year itch..

Hey, you want to cheat..

He wants out..

She might have ADHD and get overwhelmed easy and has a hard time paying attention.

Clearly some big. Communication problem. Something is off there. The wife may face some personal problems that I suppose would love the help. If she is not cheating then there must be some problem there that's causing her to lash out like that

It saddens me how many husbands don’t feel comfortable to have these convos with their wives. Because their feelings matter too

This is kind of ridiculous....im sorry but it doesnt make sense to have one side and give advice without the side. What is she dealing with, what is he doing or not doing to help or hurt the relationship???? Is she dealing with childhood trauma, abuse, etc. ????

I hope she leaves him. She's overwhelmed and he's like "wow I don't like who this person is when she's completely overwhelmed, what's wrong with her?" Instead of thinking of her like a human being. ICK.

She seems to be overestimulated and overwhelmed, and if he is not in the house every night it's like being a single mother but married...and he is out of the house and they are disconnected. By the way he talks about the wife she might have Hashimoto and it only needs to take antibodies to remision. Hashimoto makes personality like that, like having ADHD...BUT it's reversible!

Most of this Men have egotistical tendencies…

Came on caller..none …of the things you are hating on your are way to common in a marriage …caller do a deep diva on women behaviour…the caller needs to behave like an adult ..not adult - child

Most people get married to early in life.. nobody should be married before 30 yrs ….

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing still nobody's been with me for over 18 years offline in that way

ADHD?

I love how every comment is always women chiming in about how the man is the problem. Women never taking any kind of responsibility.

I bet she has ADHD! I know these criticisms all too well. Breaks my heart for her.

Sounds like she’s mentally ill. He’s a very sympathetic husband, she’s so lucky to have him. 😅 Why marry a person you don’t like and then wonder hey you’re unhappy. My husband greets me with a cold drink from the freezer with my pets everyday. We talk all day long while we’re both at work, we’re best friends. Almost at year 10 we’re both easier to love every year.

My husband thinks I have ADHD and I agree because I have a hard time staying in conversations with him I get distracted during conversations, cleaning, activities, getting ready to go out but on top of all that we have 6 kids our youngest are 3,1, and 8½ months which also keeps me scattered brained 😮‍💨 I hate struggling with getting anything done everyday, even conversations are hard for me to process most of the time. I can feel and tell when I start getting defensive about it but it's like I'm on auto pilot and can't stop myself even if I want to 😓 and I hate fighting I don't want to fight I want to talk but it doesn't work out that way 😪 we have been together for 17 years and I don't want to lose him in anyway because of my inability to do most thing's including keeping a conversation going and getting all of it 😔

Marriages decades ago lasted for decades because women were socially conditioned to 'shut up and put up' - alongside the fact women had no financial independence, so couldn't leave unhappy marriages.

It sounds like this woman could have ADHD (inattentive type). I got this all the time from my family and was finally given a late diagnosis. Unfortunately the damage was already done.

There is an insane amount of people who are with a person they love but don't actually like, A lot of people don't even realize it. They'll be with someone but dread going and doing stuff with them and hanging out. If you wouldn't be best friends and hangout outside of a romantic relationship that means you don't like them. Your partner should be someone you love spending time with, they should literally be your bestfriend. It's insane to me when I hear people complain about having to spend time with their spouse or something. One reason it's important to be good with yourself and being alone so you don't go off and date people you don't actually like.

She is probably used to having him gone. When he gets home, he messes up that routine she's created which puts her on edge to where she takes it out on other people. Additionally, she may resent him for being gone all the time and she has to do everything. So in reality she has a part time partner for a full time job. Her reaction is to a much bigger problem that they need to talk about. It's one layer of a much larger problem. So while he is focusing on her reaction, he needs to be asking why she is reacting that way. Go to counseling!

Yup, she's a single parent, and her hormones are shot. She needs care and to build a healthy metabolism. She's got nothing left. She doesn't want to be like this anymore then her husband wants her to be like this. She probably doesn't even know the vocabulary and knowledge for what her body is going through. Compassion, care, encouragement, and a team leader who is kind and won't give up on her. She needs a wise husband. Save her life, man. She has all the signs. She needs you right now. Get her a full-time health coach for a month and learn the language. Make the for worse part in your marriage for better. You will do no greater thing in your life than to cherish your wife.

I think she’s edgy because she is being neglected.

I think there is a whole lot more this guy is not saying! Sounds more like the Captain wants to control her . She feels exactly like a single woman who has a child . He said they had a baby 4 years ago . He’s gone all the time so she is alone with a toddler. When he isn’t working he doesn’t even want to go out on a date with her . I wouldn’t blame this woman at all if she went and found herself a man that truly wanted to spend time with her . Treating her right . Because when he’s talking she’s already checked out ! She married him as an Army guy so she’s an Army wife . Now he’s an Airline pilot he’s a big shot . Hmmm

I'd like to hear her side I think.

Omg man..she’s left on her own to defend everything from been both mum and dad while your away..she’s had do things for the kids and her for so long..my husband was military and believe you me it’s hard while they’re away you have to juggle everything..and your alone to do it..then when you come home you expect her to jump to your command..as a military wife you are afraid to step out of line in case it offends..give her space..talk to her see it from her point of view..as I used to say to my husband step into my shoes see how far you can walk..and guess what we have 2 kids that are adults and still married 52 years..

I love my sister but i dont like her. I would rather cut off my ears thsn listen to her sometimes. Some days i wonder if she is hallucinating

Maybe she has a UTI and doesnt know which has all those symtoms. She sounds like she is going through something and he isbt there to support her.

Omg, i just said it was the pilot life, hot airline attendants in comparison to his home wife life.

Sounds like the wife might have undiagnosed ADHD which has an effect on everyone but most of all her life must feel like hell because she has no way of regulating or knowing why she explodes or taps out during conversations

Why couldn’t he look it up and download the museum app?

Sooo... I would like to humbly suggest that we hear this wife's side of the story before reacting to the husband's story.
I was a stay-at-home mom because my husband at the time had to be gone most of the time due to his work. I can tell you exactly how that made me feel:
1. Overwhelmed and exhausted because I had to be "on" 24/7
2. Undervalued as a person = low-self esteem
3. No words of appreciation for all that I did (I did literally everything with and for my children, the house, the vehicle, the shopping, appointments, etc. etc.)
4. No recognition via a bouquet of flowers, date night, time together just the of us

Let me tell you from my experience, when all the above goes on for 5+ years, a woman doesn't have or need a husband. The wife lashing out at random ppl is not okay but a sign that she would most likely like her husband to make sure she gets a break from everything, take over when he's home so she can decompress, and offer her options and suggestions on how to live a different life that better suits her.

He is very conscious of his feelings and others and that awareness is very important for him.

This man sounds like he talks to her in a judgmental way instead of an understanding, partnership partner. He’s the man in charge at his work and is used to being obeyed or listened to. He is approaching her in the same mindset. She has always had to be the one in charge since he is always absent at home. She is probably defensive because she can’t measure up to his expectations. They need to get into marriage counseling.

I bet she doesn’t like you either but she tries to like you..

Its actually make me scared to getting married, just thinking about it make me feel disgust, where is eithics? Just think about it, a owman married to a man who was not present in her life, she still continue to build her family with him, give birth to his child, go through emotional and physical changes, and the husband ended up saying "i love you but i dont like u". So basically he is telling her, "u have to work hard to gain my like"..he surround herself with expectation if she work hard, listen to him, one day he might like her back...and with being said she lost all of her time, energy, emotion and ended up becoming an emotional imbalanced person, just to gain his like. At the end of the day it is the husband who will say, "oh she got emotional problem", when he is the cause of it. I hope he will never get a girl child.

I’m not sure where all the hurtful comments about this man … he is trying to figure this out .. good for him. He loves her. We are human and live together and he is trying to make it work

Saying you don't like her is quite a blanket statement... very black and white. Love her enough to a) differentiate her behavior from her identity and b) guide her towards better behavior. She is growing into you. You heavily influence her.

Take responsibility for her current state. Have these tough meaningful conversations that he's describing in the call. Know she will tune out sometimes and forget what you said. She might be having 'flashbacks' while you're saying things because she has faulty subconscious defense mechanisms (we all have em) that prevent her from responding to what youre saying in a highly conscious way - a way that you would like - or even hearing what youre saying at all. AKA her thoughts might be "too loud" and/or she might not grasp what you're saying. Its not a simple conversation and boom, you fixed your wife. It's a lot more human than that.

If your wife doesn’t listen because you’re locked into a marriage just divorce her. Simple as that, she doesn’t respect you so don’t waste your life with her.

Why didn't he download the app. He's gone all time, so when he's home stop being a spectator on your own family.

I think we need follow up on these calls