How to Stop Depressive Rumination: Overthinking Part 3 Stop Dwelling on the Past

I'm pretty sure my phone sent me this video because of what's going on for me right now. My ruminating has to do with toxic family members who have mistreated me for the 29 years that my mother has been passed away, I'm talking about my dad and my sister who seemingly have allowed themselves to be given permission to treat me like s*** ever since my mother was out of the picture to prevent them from doing so. So because of their mistreatment of me, I have ruminated in the sense of crazy-making. They have ruined my ability to have normal relationships, and I am literally having to use neuro-linguistic programming to reprogram my brain from the f*** up mess that it is now. I went no contact with them a year ago and my sister insisted on sending me a birthday present a week ago and just receiving a card from her in the mail sent me into a week of ruminating thoughts and a disastrous week of emotional roller coaster experiences. So I don't think my ruminating thoughts are anywhere near what you're talking about. I tried to even talk to one family member that still I thought I could rely on yesterday, when meanwhile I have been alienated from almost my entire family because of this, and it turned out that she tried to blame me and my use of drugs and said maybe Lori it's been your drug use that has been the reason that your sister and your father has had such a hard time with you. And the reality is that she had lunch with my sister about 2 months ago and it was completely clear to me that my sister poisoned her mind towards me during got lunch because that happened with another aunt 1 year ago. 29 years ago I discovered the book healing the shame that binds you buy Dr Bradshaw and I bought a number of copies and sent them to the toxic family members of mine that mistreated me and asked them to please treat me with kindness otherwise I would sever the relationships. They never did change, and I never did sever those relationships, however I definitely should have because now I have C-PTSD due to letting them stay in my life. There are days when the rumination becomes so bad that I actually find myself acting out scenarios where I feel like I'm actually having conversations with somebody that's not there. These people have been the bane of my existence and they should be in jail for what they've done to me.😢

awesome videos

Therapy.in.a.nutshell..i.feel.more.like.a.nutshell.in.therapy..haha

I am 65 years old now but seem to be obsessed with my schooldays 50 and 60 years ago

Yup thats me, even at 63. She nailed this. AND WHY. I need to break out, even now so many years doing this. Lets all break out!

I can't believe I'm not the only person that's going through this 😮 I just so happened to stumble upon the word rumination today. This is eye opening!

What about ruminating on how great things were and won’t be again.

Im surprised how helpful it is , i will pray for you...

when you're deep in the throes of depression the darkest thoughts feel the truest, but they're most likely lying to you , dammmm

Your videos are just amazing, and so helpful.

You are very good at this.... just saying lol

I pay attention to the lottery a lot and my brain has yet to give me paths to winning smh

i'm trying to figure out how when ever I jot down any sort of schedule to make my days more organized and less spontaneous, why I often end up doing what I feel like anyway...I even tried writing down the list of things I could do and dividing them into "feelings" and "logical" todos, I still didn't want to do any of them or when I suggested I do them. I seem to really hate listening to myself :(

Sometimes you have to force yourself, stop being passive and going with the habit, and focus on what your senses are telling you about the present. Most people think they want to live in the NOW, the truth is that it is easier to stay in the past, the default level, and regurgitate it endlessly...

Thank you, thank you, rumination is one of my greatest mental challenges, I've written every suggestion down, and I plan to go over them everyday.

what if the thoughts are true though.. checkmate

I like your videos but they'll never help me. I am beyond help.

Rumination...never knew it had a name. I have done it constantly throughout the day since High school. Its been 15 years. Can I get past this? Its such a habit, I don't know if ill be able to break it.

I developed depression and social anxiety in high school and that is when my rumination began. I just thought I had an obsessive personality.

I really needed to hear this! I’ve been trying to funnel my regrets into exercise and it’s helped me tremendously to process the grief but I still keep attracting the regrets. It feels that the process will never end! So at some point, I need to let go and focus my thoughts on new things in order to pave the way for a new focus. Thank you for this video!

Nice toilet you have there

You’ve put out a lot of helpful videos, but this one has been the most helpful. Thank you

This has been the video i’ve been looking for my entire life. This video just made me cry. I’m a grown man. This is what my ducking brain has been doing and no one nor myself has been able to help me. thank you so much for this video you are a angel

You are a very right about that. 41 years ago. Wife problems cant. Forgot it. But I'm listening and trying thanks ❤️🇬🇧🙏

I will try out the last one for sure. Very helpful

this video really applies to my situation.

Very useful i listen to this everyday just to brainwash myself

Why do videos that are "part 3" not have links to part 1 and 2 in the description?

Thank you for making these videos!!

Thanks for helping ❤️ Im just trying to get better day by day

😮

Actually, it's a form of self abuse

spot on

No, for me the thoughts bring up uncomfortable feelings and I keep trying to find a reason that makes sense because (in my mind) understanding why something happened can help me get over it. I understand it is a cycle but I feel no pleasure at all.

For me the “joy” in rumination is thinking about what an idiot the other person is and how much smarter I am; how could they be so stupid?

Rumination is torture. It drove me to start antidepressants because I dwelt on a past relationship while unhappily married. 12 years later, I'm off my SNRI and back to ruminating on additional regrets snd wondering if it will ever stop now that my brain is also screwed up from the serotonin manipulation. I pray for a miracle.

This talk was especially helpful to me. Thank you.

change why to what， not over generalasition，1 negative vs 2 positive，thoughts countered by action，no self label

I repeat conversations, negative interactions, thoughts so much, that when I do finally get to sleep, I ruminate in my dreams, wake myself up and then ruminate awake again. I’m going to try these suggestions tonight.

Ruminations has a cause and cure I am both.

ITS ME hahahah i swear

This is the best advice I have heard anyone sight . Do not make anyone into your thoughts like on line therapy. Because not everyone is out there wants to see you thrive. Be honest, to thine own self be true. Remember predators hide as they approach before pouncing but not everyone is a predator so listen carefully to what they say and choose to talk about.

LSD abd mushrooms completely changed my whole outlook on life..I became a better version of myself.
This experience gave me a lot of confidence about myself and a bunch of bad thought/behaviour pattern were broken. One of these was pretty bad OCD that made me wash my hands alot..it gave me a lot of hope that things will be fine, this is the one thing that I heard throughout the trip. The main reason for the trip was my severe Depression and it definitely helped me. Before all I could do was lay in bed, now I am trying to rebuild my life one step at a time which wasn't possible before.

The word ruminate comes from a cow with multiple stomachs that chews the cud

Very helpful. Thank you.

Me

Thank you for this advice!!!

I wanted to like this video and the suggestions are helpful... It just seems to downplay that part of the point of rumination is that it isn't in one's control. If it were as easy as just not doing it, everyone would do that.