7 Signs You're Not Dealing With Your Grief and Loss

Excellent Video

My Nonie just passed away, and I'm allowing myself to feel it and process it, (hard though that is), but this is incredibly helpful to understand how much of the rest of my family is dealing, or not dealing with this loss

I lost my little sister in 2007 we were 10 and 9 years old she was the most important person in my life and ive never loved anyone like I loved her i always thought we were going to grow old together and do everything together and now im 27 i am still grieving ive lived with it but it s still the kind of pain that when i remember everything i retreat back to curl up in bed for hours. It hasnt changed, childhood grief hits you so hard. I wish id learn how to process all this unprocessed pain inside it s been so long. I was diagnosed with PDD ptsd and im only learning about all these in therapy, praying for all of us hope we all make it

I feel all of these signs.

Nailed it for me.

This is a blessing! It absolutely clicked, and I hit all 7...
Been in this state for at least 40 years.
And didn't have a single clue what it was. Now I do, and I can focus my prayers and efforts in a positive, healing/ restorative direction.
Thank you so much!

"curl up with your spouse or your dog"
* me cuddling a pillow *

I just lost my partner of 10 years... I can't express just how lost I feel. Every plan I had for my future was with him.

What if you're not ALLOWED to grieve by a tyrant?

The only time grief is appropriate is if the person who passed on did not live in Christ. Paul taught us that we are not to grieve as others do. Because we know we will see them again on the day of Jesus' return to the earth.

I HAVE BEEN IN SPECIAL EDUCATION AND HAVE A LEARNING DISABILITY. THAT IS MY GRIEF.

My husband died 18 months ago ,I never get over his death.😓😓😓😓😓

I tend to just go straight for it and hit it head on lol, typical me in many ways its either all or nothing. Just getting over the death of a musician I really liked, that was the replacement of a former lead singer of a band I well quite essentially adored (was more than just a band to a lot of people I can't quite express it with words tbh words fail me with that). Has been about a week and dealing with it super well so far relating it to myself which I dunno if I'd say its an honour or what but yeah, makes me feel incredibly sorry for people not in my mindset or health conditions.

I have been so self aware of the fact that now that I’m back at work, I haven’t been crying or grieving as much. But I am aware of it. Because I know it’s not healthy. Sometimes I just pause and stop to think or look at photos so that the tears will come. So that I have the release.

Lost my daughter in April of this year at the age of 24.
It hurts 💔 unbelievably.
No words can even describe it.

Well said - doing the work is uncomfortable, even dark, but nothing compares to the light on the other end of suffering and turning that darkness into something meaningful.

Thank you.

Thank you for this video

After my mom passed away in 2009 I did not deal with my grief at all. Tons of stress eating and even more withdrawal from my relationships. I gained tons of weight. She died that February and I found myself in the hospital that July after my gallbladder ruptured and almost killed me. After my dad passed away in 2014 I could deal with my grief a lot better.

Out of control grief can result from one loss too many. I lost my father many years ago and I handled it. I then lost my mother and grandmother, and whilst the deaths rocked my world, somehow I handled it. Last year I lost my little dog and it was like everyone had now been taken from me. We were never apart in the years we were together. She was 14, what did I expect? Rage, grief, heartbreak, despair. I’m doing my best to work through it, but I can only cope by believing she is still with me, I talk to her as if she is with me. I don’t know where I’m going on this journey but I’m doing my best. Sincere and heartfelt best wishes to anyone struggling out there. We must believe that it will all be right again one day.

It seems inhuman to not grieve for these major loses. So the objective can not be to feel no grief.

My difficulty is that it is unenjoyable to weep due to a Grief Trigger. I would like to avoid that experience because it is unpleasant. So, I rely on distraction. But there will always be Grief Triggers. Their frequency is lower now than before. Early on there were about 10 daily. Now only a few monthly. I am experiencing one as I write this.

What is missing from this video is a description of what the objective is of dealing with grief. What does success look like? How is life different for someone who has dealt with grief in a healthy way. As I wrote earlier, it can not be the absence of grieving for the loss. These are major and traumatic losses.

I feel for everybody in these comments. Prayers for all of you.. I have a very hard time with grief and have deeply feared my moms death ever since a child and don’t know how I’ll react when the time comes. I broke up w my girlfriend of 10 months a month ago and cry/panic regularly daily. There is shame around my sensitivity as I don’t know how to manage this stuff and feel I am just different..life and all relationships terrify me.

So helpful ❤

I lost my precious 8 year old dog 4 weeks ago. The grief is as painful as when I lost my dear parents. Thank you for sharing this very helpful information. 💗 I’ll start today.

Grief is just love with no place to go. Our minds cannot wrap around the concept of living without that other human being in our life. It is a loss of your past, your present, and your future. But our loved ones, if we could truly hear them, would tell us that they are ok, and that we need ro press on. So it's a matter of the right preposition; it's not about getting over it. It's about having the courage to move THROUGH it.

I'm having a very bad time. Back up to 2019. My father passed away that year. Later in that year one of my sons died suddenly from a genetic condition we didn't know about. He turned 39 4 days before he died and left 2 little boys without a father. From 2020 to this past week I have lost 9 close family members - including my husband of 46 years - died last summer. This summer I have lost my last remaining brother and my only sister - they died in the same week as my birthday and 2 weeks of the anniversary of my husband's death . This week I lost one of my nephews. I am becoming fearful. I have started having feelings that I need to move away, cut people out of my life and maybe if they die it won't hurt so bad. I know that is not so but the pain is so overwhelming that I want to try anything to stop the pain. No. I am not suicidal but my truth is if I were dead I would not feel pain when I lost anyone else. I am now suffering physical pain also. Heart and Kidney problems and most recent my doctor has started talking to me about High Blood Pressure. I feel like my life is flying out of control. My remaining sons are facing problems. I found I was starting to be clingy with them and had to force myself to stop but still I worry ... will I lose them also. My grandchildren (I have 2 grands from my son that passed away) are out of control, disrespectful, angry and failing in school. My daughter in law wants to pretend everything is great while she watches her children disintegrate before her eyes. I love her so I want say bad about her but I am angry and terrified of what I see happening to my grandchildren and still she says ... they don't need therapy - they need to get on with living. I feel I haven't been able to process my grief over losing a person I love before someone else I loved has died. I feel hopeless and helpless. I have finally started therapy but it is slow and at 66 I wonder if I have time to sort this all out. I wrote all this to testify that what I have seen in your videos is 100% on point. I am living proof that grief can cause physical ailments and grief not processed causes all kind of problems in the relationships of the ones left behind.

Nah I'm not either I'm handling your ass

I found it helpful to write a letter to me as though it was written by my relative who died and didn't want me to be unhappy. I cried all the way through writing it but it did help my mindset.

I lost my son the big part of me has left me completely is a part of my life for 35 years I feel like I let him down pretty passed away everyone has left me and abandon me as if I am a burden to them I try to listen to grieving information I have a therapist I've always suffer with mental illness anyway Justice intensifies it❤🙏🙏

So amazing im doing all of this my mom just died. I'm intuitively on point. Thanks for this help❤

I lost my mother nearly two years ago.
It is been a process and still is.
How she died in a medical facility, at times awakes me in the night. She wasn't properly taken care of, and because of that she wasn't able to recover. Watched medical records being changed, and so on. And it has been hard getting through the healing process.
I have high and lows, some good days and others not so good. Sometimes, my heart is so heavy from missing her so much. She was not just my mother, but best friend and running buddy. My world. And now, I feel such a loss.
I am getting better, but the process takes time. And have to push through the to move forward.
I don't believe we ever get past the loss, but learn how to move forward. Every situation is different, and one loss may take longer than another.
There's not a day that goes by, that I tell my mama that I miss her and/or looking at her photos.

I lost my Dad 6 days ago from Cancer. I was 10 minutes too late from being able to say goodbye to him. The nurse who was taking care of him said that he was talking to him and he was sort of responding to him, and he was just about to give him his medicine for the night, then he just went. He said that he went very peacefully. I know that he isn't in anymore pain, and isn't suffering, but it doesn't stop the hurt. I can't stop seeing him laying there in his hospital bed every time I close my eyes. I can't stop crying. I looked through my photos the other day, and saw the fitting for his Radiation treatment, and just crumbled. He would have started Radiation treatment this Tuesday that just passed. He's in a better place now, and he's up there with my Mother, along with my Grandparents, and I'm sure they are all up there having a grand party. Until I see them all again, it will never stop hurting, and I will never get over this sudden huge loss. If it weren't for my amazing Husband, I don't know what I would do.

I’m 39 I lost my dear mum 5 years ago I still feel the same nothing has changed I feel bitter that where more fortunate 😢😢😢than me in life she died at 57 there’s no justice in this world

My daddy just passed I need help I'm heartbroken

I lost the only man I have ever loved of 28 years.. Then I lost my beloved dog of 12 years 8 mouths later..I dont trust love. I am truly devastated life is not the same...these 2 gave my life so much joy.. and two lose them I amtruly heartbroken 😢 it will take a mercel for me to trust love ever again..Im scared to love again..or felling like if its even worth it..

I’m definitely over functioning 😞

I lost my Mom two weeks ago and everyday at random times I start to cry it doesn’t matter where I’m at I just let myself feel it and cry I don’t care who’s watching 😢

YYou can’t curl up with your spouse when they’re dead only56 years old together 17 years I was I
His full time carer for over a decade found him 9 weeks ago unless you have lost a child or your soul mate you don’t know how I feel it’s not the same kind of pain you experience losing a parent or a pet. I’m sick of being told……I know how you feel….the flowers have died and I’m expected to just get on with my life….how he was my life

Denial. Anger.abandonment. trauma. Detachment.isolation.i lost one person that was so much a part of my life, it felt like i had to look for her. Ive worked hospice for other people which was a high honor. I lost my people at a moments notice and i felt like i got hit by a bus. I do see signs. Things that make me know they are there. I look in the m irror and see These people. But want to be with them everyday. Ty.

Thank You

Thank you, your video provided me with some much needed advice. ❤

My dog died been with her my whole life she died today it hurts so bad i was 14 she was 14 i feel so guilty im the onky one in my family that didnt help her when she needed me the most by not going ti the vet with her i didnt want to see her in a vet knowing she is about to die but i wish i gone it hurts 🕊️FLY HIGH EMMA🕊️💜💜💜 August 10th at 5:05 pm

suicide younger Sibling over 20years ......2 years later older Siblingof cancer...my PaPa 2012...

Some people just cannot process grief. Me included. Certain circumstances are in play. My 49 year old healthy husband died suddenly, very unexpectedly in 2017. Cat died of illness two years later. My best friend died that same year. My sweet dogs died of serious, prolonged illnesses— one in 2020, one in 2021. They were my family. Before the death of my husband, at least five very close friends died. All suddenly without warning, all in the prime of their lives. I try talking to family about the extreme grief but no one is willing. I’m drowning in grief, sadness. Yes, I’ve done therapy and everything else. Now I’m disabled with chronic pain and am very limited to physical activity. I’ve distanced myself from others because I feel like I’m a death magnet. The common denominator in these deaths is me. I don’t want other people dying. I just don’t think everyone can move on or heal from tragedy, whatever the reason may be.

Excellent advice.....thank you so much. I really needed to hear this today. Wonderful!!!!

I am having a rough time tonight where I just want to be free of the sadness. Nothing is working, I just want to be reunited with my Dad.

My grief is complicated with so much confusion over what happened, and self hatred

I’ve been thinking about my troubles nonstop and I still experience these problems. Not all the time I guess but still annoying it seems like feeling the emotions haven’t done me any good