The Silent Epidemic: Workplace Bullying & Toxic Leadership~ Mary M'Mukindia

I prayed for work so hard after school. It's so hard finding one in Kenya especially if you haven't networked enough. When I finally got one i was so miserable. I would cry before, after and sometimes during work. The dilemma i had was deciding whether to stay or leave. I mean you need the money despite it not being enough and staying in the house doesn't sound like a good plan and looking for a another job is another nightmare....

I once experienced this but I stood up for myself. I was firm and not rude. Sometimes I feel like some bosses project their bitterness by bulling others

Kudos,great topic and valuable points taken

Workplace bullying is so real, and when you open up about it, you'll get fired. Its so sad. Its like, we're bullying you and you keep quiet. God have mercy upon them for they do not know what they're doing

What a great conversation, very insightful!

Great conversation.

Some companies will request undertaking from employees onmatters responding to calls etc after work hr or even in leave.

This was a great topic, i have learnt a lot. I resigned from a toxic workplace and suffered financially but I experienced peace. Kindly engage more in this area and less of politics, then wait to see the results of a renewed thinking in Kenya. Blessings to you all 🙏

Bad friends prevent you having good ones, very true ❤

Two people who are very close and dear to me who have experienced this.
The first one ironically worked for Standard Media Group which owns Spice FM. My friend suffered humiliation from their superior despite it being known that he was the top performer in their department. For a fellow man to call you and vent about their frustrations for one and a half hours in a country whose society has conditioned men not to express themselves lest they be viewed as weak, it speaks volumes to what he was going through. He just decided to quit one day and by God's grace he's thriving where he is. So while Spice FM provided the platform for this discussion, their parent organisation needs to thoroughly clean up their own house otherwise this will be reduced to a case of logs and specks.
The 2nd person is much closer to home for me and it fills me with rage everyday. They work for one of the big financial institutions in Kenya. The CEO acts like a saint in public and is actually beloved by the public but behind closed doors, they are satan's favourite demon. The CEO has enabled this culture where he bullies his senior most staff with insults and threats and in turn they dish out the same to their junior staff. It becomes an ever ending chain of abuse. Inauma vibaya sana.

If you're going through this, I pray the Lord delivers you. I really hate bullies and I will always report them even if they are married to HR I DONT care

Being calm does not necessarily mean that someone has high EQ

There was a lady close to the CEO at my last place of work. Bullying is an understatement, she tossed people like a ball......if I remember how she talked down on me eeeeiiiiii

'Innovation and creativity thrive at the highest level of psychological safety.' I couldn't agree more!

Bullying in workplaces - when you guys were speaking I felt like you knew my story. In my former workplace I was treated so badly - ever heard the CEO say damu yako na yake haziwezi sikizana and other very mean comments from someone who was supposed to protect the culture and values instilled in the organization, I was isolated - things could happen in my department that i was not even aware , allegations left ,right and Centre , I really tried to be strong and preserve and I hoped things would be better until I had very frequent headaches and my BPs started shooting up and I could wake up and ask myself naenda kufanya nini and I had to make a decision and I had to quit. I could get home and I could just weep sometimes even yell at my kids for something so little, I withdrew from my close family and friends coz I was really hurting. That is when I realized my peace of mind ,health and my family matters. Staying in an environment where you are not respected , not appreciated ,bullied can be so stressing and depression checks in without you even realizing it, your self esteem reduces and your confidence level is reduced. Its important for us to know our values and self love.

Bullies are psychopaths. Psychopaths are not just in jails but also present in boardrooms. They are manipulative, deceptive and can be very charming (people believe them over you), they have no sympathy or empathy. I recommend the book 'Snakes in Suits'.

Mary was my 1st boss as a young girl at Esso during my holiday jobs, and she was a joy to work for!!! Mentoring is in her blood and she was so easy and fun to be around and so intelligent!! 😍

The withdrawal is so true...

Bullying can also be cultural ....

Very important and informative conversation

Such an important conversation on work culture. It's a conversation we need to have in this country, especially in the 'successful' organizations. People are being damaged and lives are being ruined. Thanks Mary!

I was bullied by my own closest cousin. After parting ways that's when I came to realise i was a victim. Family members can too and do it in a very manipulative way.

Insightful conversation. Love it.

I was also bullied and forced out of a job by the Head of HR and she was a woman. Not too surprised though - she was quite insecure and looked for ways to attack my persona - you are too perfectionistic 😂 which was so odd because shouldn't excellence be celebrated?

She went to the extent of using psychological manipulation and lying - even on the showcase letter 😐 It's unfortunate that toxic people look for others to hurt instead of working on themselves.

For anyone going through this, make sure to have a strong support system, have an outlet for the stress like an activity and pray for yourself - for your self confidence.

The young man has a beautiful smile and a great voice

This issue is very serious and it’s killing employees who have skills and knowledge to offer. Toxic leadership needs solution urgently in corporate and government offices. Pse Mary, this is very serious. Am dealing with two current cases.

Great

No one should force you out of a job. You leave when youre ready. Simply turn the tables, bullies are weak, unintelligent. I wish i had time to give personal consultation on this - as a survivor from one of the big companies, as well as from personal situations. Dont EVER allow disrespect. Ever.

😂😂😅

Oh my God! 😢😢😢 Its no longer a silent epidemic? Is just that people dont speak up, they suffer silently.

If you don't heal from trauma, you will bleed on others.

Very few companies in this country have been trained in issues to do with bullying in the work place

Great conversation Ndu and guys, Mary is so authentic and personable.

Very true there are real bully beefs at work. Sometimes even some of those you can go to complain are negative and do not come in handy

Weuh, a victim 😢
Its terrible i tell you!

wow! she's just elaborated an experience I have just walked out from. It's true there is a lot on unprofessional/unethical conduct amongst senior management levels, i.e., Board of Directors

With high unemployment, someone is put between a hard place and a rock when bullied. To swallow harrassment at work place or quit the job?

This is a great conversation. This happens both in the public and in the private sector, especially in the international workspace. I once experienced a serious toxic work environment at a UK-based organization. It was so traumatizing that I had to quit for the sake of my health

Watching this at 11:13pm while doing some work i didn't finish😅

I can relate

From a Leader's perspective...we work with goals set by the team how much push is considered bullying especially if the goals have been achieved before and in some cases the team blames the leader for "not pushing them enough" to achieve the same goals especially if there's a reward involved...we need a CEOs perspective as well...

Very sober conversations which most of the people aren't ready to accept.

Very timely..we need a part 2 of this conversation

Toxic work places is sending many of us in to depression especially men...
May God have another chance for men.

Your guest is good at this

This topic describes an epidemic, especially in government. I think it is due to a confused mix of poor leadership culture, disempowered employees, the push to enforce illogical actions and policies and leaders who lack self confidence. In such environments it is challenging for leaders to apply emotional intelligence.

Big ups Mary, you are so eloquent

This conversation should have come with a trigger warning 😢

It takes a long time to build self-esteem, but just one word or experience can tear down everything you've worked so hard to build. For me, in a toxic workplace, I will confront the bully one-on-one, and if things get worse, I will leave the job. Because at the end of the day, if the pressure and bullying push someone to suicide, the company will replace them before they are even buried.

This one came point in time