Afraid No Contact Isn't Working? (Watch This)

It always works because you re doing it for yourself

Thank-You

I've been in NO CONTACT for 3 years

And I've never contacted the ex

But I'm enjoying my life being single

Very good - spot on 😅

Watched until the end right the way through and will may be again

I need more strategy for no contact with kids. My ex wife of 26yrs it is very hard esp weve got to work with each other about our kids activities (soccer, etc). Any strategy to create boundaries with kids?

What about the scenaruo that an avoidant partner needs space cause she feels that she lost her self and just the idea of losing me makes her cry so much that she can't even speak and gets intoo a panic mode? I suggested no contact for a while so she focus on herself cause I do believe she needs that and hearing her like that breaks me into a million pieces but I felt it was the best way forward for.

Excellent video. Currently focusing on myself. I watched another video of yours about doing something you like and starting a small business. I’m in the process of doing that too 😊

Loved this video

Awesome video. I think of it this way. I broke up with someone. I didn't initiate contact with him ever. He did no contact on me, maybe intentionally, but I doubt he knows about it. He every now and then reaches out because we were friends for many years before we dated. In this case I was the avoidant dismissine. He is secure. I have no desire to get back together with him and he did nothing wrong. Just a bad match. Fast forward to the next relationship. I was the anxious one, he the dismissive avoidant (note: I have an anxious attachment style IF they are rejecting me and could potentially abandon me. Otherwise, if they are pursuing me, I run). Anyway, I'm now doing no contact on this man because I truly do love him. We had 3 years of a built friendship that expanded beyond that BUT I was hyper emotional trying to get what I wanted the way I wanted it and would test him constantly. I manipulated him. LOVE DOES NOT EQUAL COMPATIBILITY. And yes, love can fade. Additionally, if you truly love yourself, if someone else doesn't, it shouldn't matter. I am doing no contact and each day gets easier. Of course I am hopeful that he will reach out, but if he doesn't I'm sure we will run into each other. We live on the same block. For now I'm avoiding him as I do know his schedule and routines. But we will intersect at some point. Previously I would have probably intentionally adjusted my schedule to intentionally run into him, but I don't even want that now. I want him to forget all the bad that happened and that only happens with time. Point being, I think of it as in my previous relationship...I never reached back out. He did. I still don't want him. The one I want could be in the exact same position. No one knows. What happens, happens. Live your life for you. Time heals all wounds. That doesn't mean you won't still long for the person, but over time that longing will become less and less to where it may just be periodic glimpses of longing and missing them. But you WILL move on eventually.

No contact is not a game. It's not a form punishment for the other person, it's a form protection for yourself.

You are the part of the problem, not the solution in doing all this.

I've never ignored a girl who rejected me or gone no contact with an ex and had them come back or suddenly become interested. Not once, in my entire life. And I've done it quite a few times.

Everytime I go no contact, she will text me and tell me she misses me. We talk a little bit and I try to get put then radio silence

I never heard anyone talk about it losing effectiveness each time it's broken. Question, is it announced as no contact? We talked about that we are both in therapy today. I talk to her then back away to let her have space to process and so I don't crowd her.

Most no-contact content is bullshit

At some point the no contact rule has to be broken when lawyers arent working.

no contact could be also something like pre-end its just called "no contact" ..for most people its incredibely hard to focus on themseves or something else during no contact, because they feel fear of losing someone they love forever and they feel sadness. 90% of thinking is constantly about the break in relationship sometimes overthinking. It takes lot of timeto make things easier to do or focus on..Life is more compliceted and nothing works for everyone... Something coul be easy to hear and say but extremly hard to do

You dont understand why? Well its because since there are couples and love in the world there is nothing more powerfull then this emotion and if its lost it feels like you died inside, best movies, song and books are about this hard feeling, for most people its extremely hard to just click and focus on themselves like robots and be happy, you can try to but theres nothing to be ashamed of when you just cant. Love is strongest feeling and it needs lot of time to heal. Even strongest alpha men could suffer when they lose someone the really loved and they need time to move on.

3rd day of no contact

While it's important to work on yourself and doing things makes it easier to forget your ex, I do not understand at all the difference between thinking about your ex or working on yourself. At the end of the day the ex isn't going to know what you're doing so how can it even matter? What I mean is, if I spend my days thinking about her or spend my days advancing my life, she won't know the difference. Yet you say things like, she'll notice. Just doesn't make sense.

The "no contact" method works perfectly if you decide to do it correctly. You make the decision to move on WITHOUT her. If and when she tries to contact you, you let her know that ship has sailed.

My X left me for a rebound guy after a few years together. It has been 6 months. My X hasn't hovered me yet.

I have moved on and rebound. Going to the gym 🏋️‍♂️ 💪, investing 💰, traveling and meeting good people. Life is good and God is great.

Amazing video. I think most people have a hard time focusing on themselves (as I do) is being an Anxious preoccupied. We focus our energy outside of ourselves and turning inwards creates the panic and anxiety of being alone, which we are petrified of.
This video gives me hope to look inward to move forward. Thank you!

the no contact rule means I'll never be there for you ever .

Every ex I’ve had has come back at least once. One 3 times. Never works out the same problem and issues come right back after 2 weeks, by a month they were over again. Move on

This one is among the top 3 videos I 've ever watched on the NC rule. It tells universal truths. NC is more than enough after a breakup but it works PERFECTLY with those who work on themselves after the breakup. Currently I am a dumpee, but I have personal experience of the "growing up" factor from a couple of friends that I helped to be together, some years ago. She used to diminish him and was, most of the time, angry at him showing no respect towards his ideas, his physical condition and his life style, a life style that was kinda pathetic, to tell the truth. BUT: After they broke up, he rose from his ashes. Finished his studies, got a master's degree, got married, advanced in his job and had two children. And after she heard the news of that progress from me, (a progress that DID NOT take much time, those things had been done relatively fast, especially the studies and job parts) and although she has a satisfying relationship with another man, she still keeps asking me about the above mentioned ex of hers and friend of mine....

Let me share my story with y’all. In 2023 I was strung along by a narcissist ex and she kept hurting me every single time. Pretty soon I went no contact for a while and she unblocked me and I noticed but never wanted to reach out. I was seeing other woman and found someone I fell in love with and was good for me. We been in no contact for a week now and it’s really hard. I projected my insecurities onto her that the narcissist instilled into me. So I hurt her for no reason. After me and my current ex broke up the narcissist texted me but I’m so passed her. They all come back. Maybe the narcissist wanted validation from me again but I found someone who treats me well. And am hoping she comes back one day. But please take the time to heal before you jump into a new relationship because you will push your insecurities onto your partner.

The no contact rule doesn't work with people who are narcissists. If a person isn't spending enough time in the relationship, it's probably because they are narcissistic at heart and therefore they don't care if you don't contact them. They can't understand even why you're upset that they haven't contacted you.

Going through it right now and the relationship was just close to 7 months with today being our anniversary. She doesn’t like being told or called out in things and just exploded and ended it with me. I said ok I’m done too.

I’ve been on no contact since then and today is day 13 and I had a bout of weakness but I haven’t contacted her for anything. We work together but remote and I’ve been zero dark thirty.

She’s used breaking up as a control mechanism in the past and I’m always running to get her back. Not this time. If she loves me she is gonna have to earn me back. I’m working on bettering myself regardless.

Very refreshing approach.
A scientific base in the best sense with a thinking mind, eloquently put, professionally presented.

You are someone searching for the truth, the inner fabric of phenomenons, first of all: real data.

Impressive work, keep on doing, I wish you stay uncompromized.

The most of the brightest minds get sucked in in some form dubious organisations and circles for fame and money.

You should always follow your own ethics and morals and staying on the narrow path.

I wish you a lasting,strong and loving bond with your wife.

God Bless, many thanks!

Hi. Thank you for spending your time and energy to help us. I think a part of the reason for the 62% non-returns is that some breakups actually happen for good reasons. In fact, hopefully at least 50% of breakups should ideally be because 2 people are simply not compatible for whatever reason (i.e. people don't just break up frivolously). Of course, sometimes it is just circumstance and in those situations I would expect NC to be way more effective, because circumstances change (I hope mine turns out this way. Please pray for me) and people grow. Maybe it would be worthwhile to re-do the study but to correlate it with the reasons for the breakup. In every case where I have broken up with someone, I did miss them and did consider going back but where there was a specific red flag/character trait that I couldn't live with, I decided to not go back and even then it was still sometimes hard. Good luck and blessings to all of you.

It’s not about getting them back…. Some of us have attachment issues, it helps ME with healing. If I get dumped, that person doesn’t matter anymore, my mental health does.

One of the best videos I saw on the subject

My ex ghosted me after being very polite and decent for four months. I didn’t like the feeling of being ghosted so I canceled our vacation. We planned a month from now that pissed her off and she broke up. Yes it hurts but you know what I’m not gonna date somebody that ghost me nor will I go on a romantic holiday with them, you want to say goodbye goodbye I’ll give you all the time in the world after the break up. I may check in once or twice, but not much I will never beg and I will never go to your house or anything like that I will just be a gentleman through and through. And I tell people when I begin dating them if they leave me, I don’t wait long with an eight hours to start looking for someone else. I don’t wait around and try to heal. That’s a bunch of crap you can heal for a few days and then move on.

How do I handle "no contact" when we have a kid? She has our child, and I don't wanna let my kid feel that I abandoned him.

She will abuse me verbally and emotionally. Then when I take time to cool down she freaks out and panics to get a hold of me.

Small sample size

62% of the time, it works every time😏

If her interest is low when you start she will move on.

How to talk but say literally nothing?

It becomes like a want rather then a need for them to come back as the time you spend in NC inevitably makes you that way

I will admit that it doesn’t seem that the no contact rule is working. He reached out to me about a month ago and asked why I still wanted to date him. I responded, he read my message and nothing since. I stopped commenting on social media, posting or reacting to anything he posted in early September.

I think that most ex’s don’t ever come back and contact you. You can be an expert in this but in reality, every single person is different. We all don’t have the same situation and I think that most ex’s would rather never contact you again.

My ex broke up with me but we love each other.. I think he was being manipulated by a close friend who became jealous of our relationship. He was very confused and was sad, I told him to take some space. He said he felt selfish and I just told him it’s important to work on himself to find what would make him happy, however I did say no when he wanted to help me with something he had promised before the breakup, he was sad about it, I haven’t heard from him since.. it’s been about a week 🤷🏻‍♀️

Don't cling to false hope. Don't waste your time waiting around. Move on.

very good video my man

The no contact rule start to work on you when you no longer desire to get back to your ex who dumped you.

We blocked each other so yeah it's working just not the way I wanted. In my mind "oh my god you're actually perfect for me and I was just scared, I'm SO sorry please take me back!" In reality: "I'm a grown babyman I don't need love sniffle don't talk to me I'm "happy" like this *sniffle*"

The BEST no contact video I’ve seen!!! Bravo!!!