REN Su!cIde Reaction - WOW!

double dutch is also a camera angle in animation and film making if I am not mistaken. As in dutch angle, the way you make an angle twisted and weird to show something feels off, wrong or uncomfortable, and double dutch is often an extreme of it. Like making someone upside down in a frame, even though theyre not, it's just the camera.

I love Ren ❤

There is a stigma regarding suicide as many believe you will be condemned to hell, but truth is all sins are forgiven. The only sin that is not forgiven is blasphemy against the Holy spirit..

This song and five finger death punch song wrong side of heaven are two songs that make me ugly cry. I’m a veteran and am running low on friends due to suicide.

“Useless my mother, can’t keep down my supper.” Telling his mom it’s useless to cook dinner for him. He was often too sick to eat. He wasn’t calling his mother useless! Maybe his failing body? Anyway, that’s my take.

He says he was only 5 minutes from getting there on time for Joe. This always makes me cry. His genuine grief just makes me hurt for him and for the whole human race.

See I look at the line about Fibonacci sequence and double dutch as being a reference to their childhood together..

A definition of psychosis is prophecy A to Z all 26 a word flesh that you can see...

I remember the tranquility. Like tranquility i had never felt before. I, like Ren (intersting that my nickname is ren too) am chronically ill and lost both my best friends at 18 and 25. Not to suicide but suddenly and unexpectedly. On my own journey through illness i fought so many drs and lost hope. Knowing that something was wrong but everyone telling me it was all in my head. I knew it wasnt. It took 9 years of my life fighting until i collapsed with autoimmunity and a heart problem. I had a heart attack ages 28. On my way to the drs office i looked at the london tube trains whizzing past and peace came over me. Quietness. Silent like everything was going to be over that day. I looked my cardiologist in the eyea and told him that he could either fix me or i would let the tube fix me. That man heard me and promised me that he would fix me. He couldnt fix me noone could but he heard me and that was the first time anyone had. He operated on my heart the following week and changed my life from night to day. I will forever be in the debt of that man.

One of the sad truths I learnt when I started working on a depot is how many people jump in front of trains, every other week there is a jumper and that's just our depot.
I always knew there were a lot but it didn't quite hit home until i had to work on the damage caused by a person who'd jumped.

I have a female friend, her boyfriend went on a boat trip with friends, they never came back. and they still don't know what happend and where everybody is or where the bodies are. so the closure part you all talking about is very true.

Thank you ❤

Yes sir q

I could be wrong but I feel he is saying "I see the world through Fibonacci sequences and Double Dutch", as he sees things both technically, but also as a kid. Double Dutch is a school playground jump rope game.

Wow! I loved your reaction. Please do a reaction to his "For Joe" video. It's amazing live/one take overlooking Calgary Canada. My favorite after "Hi Ren".

Brothers!What more needs to be said honestly

nice reaction and thank you for explaining the Fibonacci and double dutch portion, as well as the railroad tracks.

Posted by Ren
Ren:
Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.

Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.

I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.

This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.

Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.

Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.

On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.

Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.

Joe’s body was never found.

Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.

As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.

My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.

Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release. You can turn on notifications by following the link in the comments below

During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.

Hey guys. A couple of things from your videos: I don't want to speak for others, however, I am viewing your videos for your perspectives and reactions so please don't worry about "talking" to much before playing the videos. I am here for your perspectives so I really don't like that others made you feel like you need to speed up to start the video. And the other thing I wanted to encourage you with was again your perspective and "talking" between each other post song was on point for me. Thanks guys!

Train tracks are also a reference to slashes down the arm. As horrible as it is there's a saying that it's better to go down than across. It just goes quicker.

It's not just photography it's the universe we exist as fractals in us and nature. It's the chaotic balance that keeps life there

Beyond the message of the song, which is incredible and if you've ever felt like this: Talk to someone. Anyone. People love you and you love them. Stay with us.

BUT.... Ren mentioned in "Hi Ren" that he "Don't create hooks for the radio, they don't even play me". On this song he finally created a perfect radio hook and if they cut the last (Best) bit it's even the right length for radio, but then he fills it with a word that ensures it will never see airtime anyway! Powerful song and self sabotaging meta! This is why I love Ren.

The most gut wrenching song of all time

Ren didn't say his mother was useless. He was talking about being unable to keep down the food she had made for him. As in him telling her, it's useless my mother. He's very close with his mother. It's his father that he didn't always see eye to eye with because he left and married another woman, but they're still close.

omfg...3 seconds and he has to hear himself?? one more time... Im sooo gone....can we hear the fucking song

Those are my two favorite parts, miscounting sheep a misfit, and the vividly/tranquility/possibility/fragility section that hits so deep just considering the memory of the water he imagined Joe staring into, and Ren searching for Joe in, that night. Really powerful. Thanks. I agree he’s making a cutting reference.

Thank you for making reactions, and talking to people. Youre important. You help me

I like the sunglasses when needed

There must be those with whom we can sit down and weep, and still be counted as warriors.

He's Talking about his own feelings you stupid f**** idiot. You keep thinking about how what could I have done to be there. U F**** narcissist. How about live life thinking and understanding that many people may not want to wake up tomorrow. Because they have the full realization and understanding that there are very few humans genuinely care that other humans May potentially be more important than themselves suicide suicide ohi Ohio I will never listen to another reaction you make cunt

He was the last call with his friend, he said in an interview that 2min away is when the phone went out of service 💔

Murder song 5,4,3,2,1 by Aurora. Live versions are the best.

Ren suffers from a audio mune disease. So do I millions of others unfortunately and it can bad thoughts ,bad days. This is A breakthrough song for us sufferers but also. Suicidal sufferers. The song is phenomenal He is such a blessing. A wonderful and beautiful artist.❤❤❤🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🤩😇🤩😇

It's amazing what a beautiful song this is, whether because of or in spite the subject matter.

My son is 15 and his friend a 16 year old girl just stepped in front of a train last week. He will be affected forever..I have no idea how to help him .

Suicide in Canada is endorsed by the government.

I lost my brother in law at 24 because he laid on train tracks 💔 amd my father with pills he overdosed on. My chilhood best friend hung herself. It still hurts after all these years.

This song is pure heartbreak. Regarding suicide - it's almost romanticized, especially in certain countries. Unfortunately, the picture of tranquility and seeing it as a solution is so far from truth. Our bodies freak out, it bloody hurts to hit the water, following by an excrutiating end, lungs full of water. Can't change your mind halfway down. Peepz, never do this to yourself and your close ones. Please seek help.

Self harmer here: unfortunately I didn't resort to healthy ways, for the past years I've almost never cut, but I used to do it a lot, and I appreciate that you explain it, because so many people don't understand why, even I didn't before it happened to me. Whether you're mourning, or dealing with stuff, in my case heavy depression, there's nothing you can do to numb the emotional pain, so all that's left is hurt even more in another way, physically. And it worked, when I was hurting so much I felt like I could hardly breath because every breathe was like inhaling fire, my lungs burned, my heart ached, tears streaming, and then I would cut and immediately I could breath again. It sounds so counter intuitive, but it works so well. That said, I encourage people to indeed go for a run or work out, until it hurts: it does release dopamine, and it's a healthy type of hurting yourself. I'm tired of having to tell people that the scars on my arms are old scratches from my cat.

The world is going too fast. A lot of people can't keep up, but you're expected to keep up most think.

This one was tough....no doubt. I've already watched it several times and I've yet to keep a dry eye. That end segment is just soul crushing. The song starts out about Ren, he said this himself, but then he said that for some reason it felt incomplete. He started with the piano and the first line of that final sequence and said that the rest just kinda poured out of him. The emotion you hear, his tears, the breaking in his voice .... it's all genuine and real. That comes across vividly. Once again, Ren uses the power of his personal experiences and his musical talent to draw an emotional response from the listener.

"I suffer ...therefore I am. But I will NOT relent and I will learn to ride the waves." Life IS pain, but there is no battle more worth fighting. Ren once again being "that voice that you hear when you loosen the noose on the rope." I'll never stop saying this- Ren is special.

I lost 3 ppl to suicide in my life my girl friend jaz she’d be 23 now and guy friend/crush T. he’d be 25 now we’d probably be married because he’d always say I’m going to marry you someday watch that day never came and my uncle Kurt on my dads side he’d be 56 now he was such a happy funny person and then one day he wasn’t anymore anyway enough about my sad stories here’s ren’s story about his friend joe for those that can’t read the story you can here I hope this helps out.
Despite what the song is about and the theme of the heartfelt lyrics, ‘Su!cIde’ delivers a melody that can be described as upbeat as Ren seeks to find a balance in amongst the bittersweet sorrow of losing a loved one in this manner.

The story behind this song is a very emotional one, as you will see below.

“Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.

I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.

This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.

Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.

Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.

On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking.

He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.

Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them.

I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five.

As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed.

I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.

Joe’s body was never found.

Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night.

When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.

As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family.

A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink”

That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.”

I've tried to take my life twice. Once when I was 15, after I found my best friend hanging in his room; his family and our friends turned their back on me, except to tell me it's my fault he died, because I should have known he was suicidal, went on for six months before I broke. Mom found me in time to slow the bleeding enough to get an ambulance. The second time was after my mom died; she was my closest friend, and the world lost its color after she died, I didn't care if I lived or died because it felt like she took part of my soul with her. My sister saved my life when she called to tell me that she went into labor and my niece was about to be born.

I saved her life when she cried for me through the phone one night, saying she was going to jump and wanted me to take care of my baby niece (PPD/PPP hit her so fucking hard). Her psychiatrist wanted me to join one of their sessions, so I went... I told her how she saved me with the phone call, and that because of her child, we're both alive. We're both much better, and my niece just turned four, and I now have a four month old nephew.

I love how he echoes one of the most important lines in Sick Boi.

I think the first half is the mindset of someone going through misery and the second is the mindset of those left behind. But even if you choose life and try to have a normal life with a family and kids, so many fall through the cracks in society where they have no time to be parents. Thus continuing the cycle where children grow up without guidance, no mother and only the bitter truth as a father. System has to change to be more human-centered instead of profit-centered. Corporations always do the calculations of weighing acceptable human misery to profits. CEO's who lean further toward profits get promoted and those with souls get punished. And people who buy/sell stocks are as complicit. We're all a part of the money game.

Fantastic reaction & analysis, thank you.

Great reaction, but what is better than any of the other reactors I've watched on this video, ya'll put up #'s to get help!!! That's awesome!!! Not sure why other's didn't.

Ren grew up with Joe from the time of 8 years old .Ren lived closest to the bridge , he ran but got them 5 minutes too late .I dont make to much out of the family refrences ,I think he means that this pain both physical and mantal are as close as the family he has grown out of , .We will not change the problem, of premature death ,without talking about it .thats where adult voices like yours count for a lot .young men need leaders so they they can weave their way through the web of toxic lies our society tells them about masculinity.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
fallen through the cracks of the night sky
A light goes out on the other side,
suicide, suicide, suidice
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
treading on the tracks in the night time
It never really felt like the right time
suicide, suicide, suicide

I'm so fucking lonely beneath this,
narcisistic, cant keep a secret,
miscount sheep, I can't sleep, a misfit
Some say troubled, but some say sadistic,
Bruises my brother, one time or the other,
my skin felt counterfeit, silicone, rubber
Bruises my sister, skin pop the blister
dig deep resist the feeling when it hits you

Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
fallen through the cracks of the night sky
A light goes out on the other side,
suicide, suicide, suidice
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
treding on the tracks in the night time
It never really felt like the right time
suicide, suicide, suicide

[sample] Sick boi, sick boi, bitten by a tick boi
I feel like its not me its the world thats sick

I'm so fucking washed up and sea sick
masochistic kid with a split lip
six feet deep I can't eat im nervous
won't stay down 'cause my body purges
useless my mother, cant keep in my supper
skin so pale 'cause my cheeks leak colour
Truth is my father, you choose your karma
draw for the sword then drive through the armour

Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
fallen through the cracks of the night sky
A light goes out on the other side,
suicide, suicide, suidice
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
treding on the tracks in the night time
It never really felt like the right time
suicide, suicide, suicide

Suicide suicide suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
Suicide suicide suicide

It's hard to take off from the ground when your wings are cut,
Your stomach burns when you're drinking from an empty cup,
You know the entire ocean came from my tear ducts?
I see the world through fibonacci sequences and Double Dutch

I guess there’s some that’s born lucky, there’s some that’s not
I tried to cut away my bitterness - hatchet job
I locked my youth in a trunk inside a pick up truck
Then dumped the whole thing over the same bridge the night you jumped

I think about that sometimes , vividly
What it felt like to look down and see tranquility
One sudden movement in a world of possibility
Only one movement to expose our fragility

I fucking miss you and I miss myself
I miss thinking that were indestructible as well
I miss chilling by the pier cave and kicking back
Wirth Callum, Hugo, Sagar, Justin, Stevie and the fuckin lads
I miss missing that, I numbed myself to close the gap,
I never even call em up the distance is my plaster cast,
The truth is that the day you jumped my childhood jumped too,
But I still can’t find the anger all I find is missing you

Man I miss you,
with all my rhymes
I picture running 5 minutes quicker, I'm right on time
I picture pulling you back over the edge and then were crying
And holding you my brother and telling you that it's fine
that’s not the way that I worked
Coz I was late like a jerk
There's not a day where I could find a way to break from the hurt
Your body missing so we never got to wave to the hearse
I hope your listening , I love you man, I miss you absurd
Fuck