Overcoming Social Anxiety: What I've Learned

For years I thought my problem was social anxiety, until a guy I know pushed me to talk to more people and I realized that's not the issue at all. I can hold a conversation just fine. But that only led to another problem, like having next to zero in common with most people I come across lmao

I love that you talk about things im going through especially after a massively toxic relationship. Im now in a new one that isnt toxic and ive been trying to fix myself to better the way i communicate things. Youve been a huge help. I wish i had friends that are anything like you or someone i could talk to in general that isnt someone i pay for info.

Jesus is the truth reach out.

I don't know Cole. I'm actually an extrovert and very comfortable in my skin, but I have MAJOR problems finding friendship material. The people I'm most often surrounded by are highly focused individuals and seem to wrapped up in themselves and their agenda for the day to take a moment of an have a "frivolous" conversation. I'm older and more experienced than a lot of them and I know that they are going to regret that kind of choice as they achieve those goals.

I appreciate you so much bro you’ve flipped my life around more times than I can count

I struggle to speak to people due to the fact I stutter and I can't control my speech. I've become more introvert in the past 7 years and instead of having a bunch of friend to hang out I prefer to stay at home and work on myself

I only get social anxiety around people my age. I'm 25 and most of my friends are in their 30's and 40's because I relate to them better. I'm very old school.

I would feel like a psychopath if I maintained eye contact with a woman 90% of the time...

Be careful with listening to people talk and asking questions.. I've done this several times and wondered why no connection was made until my husband overheard me do this and he later told me I was interviewing the person lol

Bruh I also went to SUNY Albany but instead of trying to make friends there I just transfered to a different school where I knew people, lol you did better than me.

i feel less alone because of this video, thank you

ive gotta use this to sell tickets

Love your channel it has helped me so much I inspire to help improve the world of mental just like you

U just got to pick up ur balls and become a real man also stop hidden behind a gun like all this sissys do in today's world

It is Kind of weird watching Videos like this one about learning how to speak with other people, about something we should be able to do easily...however i am grateful for this one, it helped me a lot

The mind if I sit with you thing or cold approaching hardly ever works. Especially with women or its considered harassment

Are you a giant or is everyone you talk to a midget?

America is SICK..... we are sick..... no wonder the mental health is out of order

This video kinda making me emotional because I feel like i'm finally learning about ways I can actually NOT be too pussy to talk to someone

Sadly where I live, you're seen as a creep or weirdo if you try to talk to strangers even at a party. The mindset of people my age is that we need to be friends on Instagram. You can only make friends on social media then hangout. Not actually try to talk to someone at a bar or in a mall because that's seen as weird.

I feel like i am shy because the sound of my own voice, when I am talking to family I have a normal sounding voice but speaking to others I guess I tense up and it causes my voice to sound weird I don't know why but it sucks, For example when I speak to someone I have the obvious "nervous" voice.

As a introvert that suffers from social anxiety as well shit is tuff.. but this video was very helpful.. I love your channel by the way. You’re playing a big role in me beginning the process of my self development.

I use to be very talkative, then people beat that out of me. I was even told that I couldn't sit with the people my friend did in high school during lunch , I didn't even say anything to them, so I stopped going altogether. People are awful, selfish, rude, and terrible and I'd rather be alone then interact with people anymore.

As someone who has had social anxiety in the 8 the grade ever since after the pandemic and then we had to see people at school.. it was hard going to school or even simply walking past someone with out stressing or feeling awkward. I still have some social anxiety but I am now so much better at confronting the fear and now I can talk to people better while communicating people with better. I remember feeling everyone hates me so I was like you know what lets take advantage of this. I started sitting with people at lunch and even if I felt scared, I sometimes talked about off topic things and what I said might of been weird but now idc and I'm glad I did this. All I did was say whatever I had to say with confidence even if I felt it sounded stupid

Man this dude seems like hes always been and is miles ahead of most of us

I think that is a very egocentric way of explaining it, however if that helps someone it's great. I believe that the best way to overcome social anxiety is to recognize that reality exists, but your reality is what it signifies to you. You can develop trust in you by simply separating yourself and realizing that you are fully disconnected from what reality is, that is, your conscience is something and reality is something else. Life is the relationship between that and reality, and when we recognize that everyone has a unique relationship with reality, we are able to break down those barriers. This has greatly helped me in my life, and I hope it helps someone else.

The story of my life. I think it’s different for guys though. We have this social pressure to be strong. I can admit at the moment that’s not me.

I am learning how to talk more about myself. I know a lot of advice is to listen, but I'm too good at that, and end up never showing someone who I am. People end up walking away after a while because they only used me as a sounding board. Finding the balance. Ultimately if I can get myself interacting more in general that's a good goal for me. I get overwhelmed and it's important to address that issue. Thank you for all the great tips!

The have an open mind comments are always triggering for me because its like, i have an open mind, i want to be able to make friends like everyone else, but unfortunately my mind works differently, so im open minded, but I'm so scared and nervous that i just don't end up doing it at all. Im not giving up though 😔

Hi! I struggle with social anxiety and is very hard when it comes to interact with others especially as a Latina who her first language is Spanish!

I went to a bad high school (bad neighborhood). I didn’t relate to most people from that school (I did not belong there). My social development was halted. Very unfair to be honest. Now I am left under developed social skills and a certain degree of social anxiety and no friends.

My problem is the anxiety afterwards too! I roll everything over in my head and over-analyze until I end up feeling like I did nothing but mess up, and I can almost be in tears even when I didn’t really do anything wrong.
It’s like part 3 of how social anxiety cripples me. Part 1 is being socially limited by the fear of rejection and the self-isolation. Part 2 is the anxiety in the social encounter itself.
Do u have any tips for this?

Great Video Go Bills

Be cringe holy shit, its the only way. I actually got friends by just being myself and not caring about being cringe.

Two caviats: you are young handsome man. Most of people is not a young handsome/beautiful person. So we won't get such a warm welcome as you are getting. Second thing: you mention people who you will not have to meet again. At work or hobby space when we want to spend next months and years in we definitely will see those people again, so the stakes are much much higher. We need to consider those relationships long term and sometimes staying put and avoiding making mistakes seem like the best choice.

Meh. This can't work in other countries. Don't disregard cultural differences. Indeed people come from different places. Not to mention sex differences.

the scariest part is talking to my boss or attending meetings

The more you think about it, the less likely you are to do it. The 5 second rule, the moment you have an instinct to act on a goal you must act on it in 5 seconds or your brain will stop you.

The only reason you have to try in social situations is because you MAKE yourself try instead of just being real. Stop being a creep.

Don't think about what your going to say, think more about what the other person is saying, doing or even thinking. People love talking about themselves.

Keep eye contact 99% of the time

I used to be very extroverted. When the quarantine hit, i became socially awkward.

Thanks , this helped

716!!

Brain blanks on what to say, now it's awkward silence and I feel like a total weirdo

YOU LOOK HUGE, BUDDY! DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL IF SOMEONE GOT INTIMIDATED BY THE SIZE AND SHUNNED YOU OFF

I still struggle with this problem, social anxiety. It never seems to completely go away even after repeatedly talking to people. Working in retail helped alot though. I'm 23 and have some things going for me. I'm tall, keep fit, and an interesting guy with many hobbies but I just can't be the best version of myself because of the social anxiety. For me its just the physical symptoms sweating, shaking voice, nervousness, butterflies in stomach aswell as fearful thoughts. "What if I get laughed at?" "What if its awkward?" I don't have any friends either. Damn I'd enjoy kicking back with some mates or something or even a girlfriend. It's honestly brutal if you're social skill development was halted as a teen and you didnt recover from it cause you isolated due to bullying and truama. I hope who ever reads this overcomes it. 👍

Social anciety make life hard