Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved | Esther Perel | TED

Solo fomenta la infidelidad

Adultery is not universally practiced. It is practiced by immoral people.
There is no deep analysis or philosophy on that subject in my opinion. You are either fake or true.
It’s that simple

Both parties being well educated in topics like this can really prevent and stop thoughts off cheating or having an affair.

That is one of the most articulate and intelligently worded talks I've ever watched.

I just mentioned you on my channel. xox

If you aren’t loyal then just be in an open relationship, don’t be wasting time fooling someone, demanding loyalty when you aren’t.

That “new marriage” may be one in which there will never be the blind trust one once had. If you can live with that, then stay. If you can’t, then part ways.

I so needed this❤😢

People don’t have affairs in healthy loving relationships. ..
I cheated and so did my ex husband. I went for therapy as I didn’t want to lose my marraige. He refused to engage whatsoever..and continued to blame me for ruining his life. After 3yrs of deep healing I started to feel better about myself, while he got worse…I couldn’t take being around him anymore so I left…I now live happily alone

Left my relationship after realizing my now ex was a narcissist and a serial cheater. Tried to manipulate me into believing our relationship failed because I was "insecure" which I never was with her. I trusted her and believed in her which was my huge mistake.

Anyone else interupted by an ad at just the wrong time

If you feel accomplished because you are giving yourself a chance to try other "options"...

Nothing can replace self love,not even an "accomplishment" of that kind...

It feels like an endless persue of self respect.😒

Comparing an affair to cancer is a good analogy. You can survive both, but you will be forever changed by it. You’re entire perspective on life will be altered.

WOMEN CHEAT TOO WHY DO ALL OF YOU SPEAK W SUCH AFFIRMATION THAT RHE MEN CHEAT- so sick of it

I've never cheated, I've always thought about it as once a cheater, always a cheater.

"why do we cheat?". speak for yourself.
you are not wise, if you cannot be happy with an ordinary person and you need someone "special" in your life.
you are not enlightened, if you can't be a good and decent person in ordinary circumstances.
everyone who cheated is a disgusting person beyond redemption.

She’s Making excuses. Marriage means sacrifice: you can’t have it ALL. Honesty is honesty. Lying is lying. No excuses.

Cheating is an intentional act of cruelty, it's not something that just happens

I think lust and the desire to be touched again leads to infidelity.
I kissed another girl who wasn't my girlfriend and I felt so guilty about it. Why did I do it? The absence of my girlfriend who was in a long distance relationship with me and the feeling of lust gave me these temptations. I did feel guilty and I cried for 4 days straight. But I did it again after that. I cried even more. It felt even worse. I didn't tell my girlfriend about it, I didn't want to hurt her, she wouldn't be the same. Don't cheat please, it will emotionally scar you and the life you're leading.

Great speech

Great talk, thank you

Does she ever use any sort of statistics or is it all just anecdotal evidence about "lots" and "most" of her patients?

I have to disagree. I have seen women choose to have the affair knowing it will cause the death of their husbands. A husband who hung himself from the tree they both planted so many years before. What she didn't expect was that their only son would also feel compelled to hang himself on the very same branch his father had used, on the anniversary day his father was pushed to end his life.

Un mensaje muy lindo, idealista y esperanzador. La probabilidad de infidelidad es 100%, hombre o mujer, que lo hagan por ser humanos imperfectos y se repare ese error... o que el infiel sea un enfermo y no busque "curar" su delirio y vaya así por la vida, dañando al que piensa en una relación leal, sana y duradera. que LOTERIA!!!

Worst Ted talk advice ever. They cheat- they go. Anything else is self destruction

I like me a good affair. My last gf cheated on me and it was so fckn hot I can't stop thinking about it

This is wrong on so many levels where do I even start?

Nah cheating is always the end of the relationship for anyone who respects themselves.

That speech was absolutely incredible!

Why don’t people just stay together?

Unbelievably good speech by this woman. Many facts and internal circumstances told. I could hear for hour after hour

Great! It's so helpful for everyone. I like the sentence at the end of the speech! We can have 2-3 relationships or mariagges and some of us are going to do it with the same person! She is absolutely brilliant!

Incredibly wise woman 😮

The part that resonated with me the most was 'we used to divorce because we were unhappy, now we divorce because we could be happier.' My current partner had exes that lied, cheated, were drunks and posessive, yet she brought up she wants open relationship with me - because 'I only have 1 life.' 5 years from now, we are still together but it's been nagging me lately more and more... What did I do to deserve this?

This is why Ted Talks are untrustworthy and propaganda for the left and disguised as open forums. The fact that Peterson says you shouldn’t cheat and that there are millions of people who don’t and this lady is saying it’s okay is my proof. Who hasn’t had a Ted Talk I rest my case

I’m an attractive man, and I have no desire whatsoever to cheat. I love the sanctity of two people, holding enjoying indulging in the sacred monogamous bond between them.

Brillant

Infidelity is anything involving secrecy from your partner and sexual arousal

What if both partners cheat?

the last line of the speaker is the gist

So I have mixed emotions about this. I've been on both sides of the fence, and I completely understand that in a relationship, nothing happens in a vacuum. Esther Perel's comment about how the victim of adultery often is not the same as the victim of the relationship is really on point. The odd thing was, when I was on the receiving end of adultery and cheating, I kept waiting to feel terrible... that I wasn't enough, that I should be angry... it never came. What did come was issues with trusting her for sure, but I never was angry and it never made me question my own self worth. It made me question what type of relationship we want to have, was the fairytale version of "marriage" and "love" portrayed by Hollywood even possible? Can one person be everything? Even if they could, should they be? It allowed me to really analyze our relationship, have some super open conversations putting our feelings on the table, and then gave use the opportunity to design the relationship we wanted to have. One of the biggest pieces of advice someone gave me about marriage is... lower your expectations and when people show you who they are, believe them. Stop trying to make an introvert an extrovert, or trying to convert someone who hates musicals into a fan. Let them be who they are and decide if there's enough there to hitch your wagon together.

as an older guy.................i now think if you really loved someone............. or a more mature love would be to forgive the other person...........you would want them to be happy or understand we are only human with weaknesses...........it's unfortunate that men & women are just not able to have frank & honest conversations on the subject..........two people need to be able to handle it at the same time.............love ending is always gonna be painful..............

Brilliant.