W!! $HOP

8==D(_(_)

Ok so this story is completely true

There once was a hermit ghoul goblin skook spider skiff sloan satan named esstopher

He set upon a dangerous path

One of skeletons and skullytins

Spooky

So ess the gremlin came upon his first obstacle - the bridge
In order to get into the boy's hole, ess had to pay the troll toll

Mistake number one, he overpaid the troll

So as he walked over the bridge, the troll pushed him into the Bridgewater

And then the troll called ess out

"You stupid, pathetic, weak, white guilt, milquetoast piece of human garbage"

And esstopher cried

However, he forgot one crucial detail: he was a bird guy and thus had control over the birds

So he let loose a torrent of birds, dubbing the apocalyptic event "birdemic"

But because the stupid gremlin known as ess was 6'4, the birds turned against him

What an idiot

But as he was being pecked to death, a light descended from the storm clouds above

It was no light; it was a million shmeckles

And ess was able to buy his safety

Overcome with guilt, esstopher hung up his bath towel and vowed to never shower again

He subsequently turned into a spider, which brings us up to date

Some say that late at night, they can hear the sound of ess slinking around

"Spook spook spook"

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