The #1 MINDSET To Stop Insecurity & Anxious Attachment From Ruining Your Relationships

“Relationships is not a bank account that you are withdrawing from, it is a platform for you to play a game and be your best self." DAMN.

You’re a bad ass dude! Thanks infinitely.

It's the first time in this channel and it hits the spot. I'm in the finite in every relationship. I need to change so I would not ruin my next relationship. 😔

Well it’s clear that I’ll never have a good relationship because I’m so fucked up and needy

finite thinking isn’t the end, this helps with foward moment, and it’s up to you to be able to make the growth - thank you for teaching me that, I already had the knowledge of finite thinking but I just looked at it as the as ending or something I would have to deal with, bringing in more anxiety. May abundance come to you all around you

Best way to view a relationship is a vehicle of progress forward to attain the goals you want, when your forward goal is to actualize yourself. Move towards light and not darkness and even in the gravest most dire of circumstances you will find the silver lining to walk into the next chapter of your life. The reason this works is because it puts YOURSELF at the center of control instead of putting external factors as the anchor of your well-being. As a result, when you materialize this confidence in moving forward you begin to behave in the most desirable way you can. You aren’t hindered by strife, but you face it head on, and don’t shy away from the fear of failure. Incredibly, this actually creates more success than failure. Because in fear of failure, more failure is actually generated due to the self-fulfilling sabotage we inflict upon ourselves through our own conditioning. When we walk in confidence, facing the fears we have, we actually conquer them because they cannot hold themselves stable in the presence of strength and rigidity. It doesn’t mean we won’t fail, but when we do, we will get back up quicker and stronger than ever. It’s really counter intuitive.

Thank so much man really appreciate the advice

saving this for those days when i feel really insecure even tho normally im an infinite thinker

I literally needed this.

Thank you very much for this new perspective towards relationship, and how I can redirect my focus to infinite. Very useful information.

Hi Clayton I suffer with relationship anxiety I was only thinking recently that I used to watch a lot of your videos and missed them and here you are today glad to have you back appreciate your content thankyou ❤️😊🙏

This perfectly explains my latest breakup and why I was so confused by it. He was a finite game player and I was always an infinite thinker naturally. Didn’t really understand how people approached relationships this way until now. Thanks

Man such a big help. I'mma be the first to admit that I'm a real insecure person. And your video has somewhat help set the platform for a change in my mindset. I'm still trying to internalize finite vs infinite thinking but this definitely helped!

this just changed my life dude

Thank you so much 😮 ❤

But how can you overcome this type of thinking?!

I think Im a finite thinker!

thanks

Really helpful

this should be something taught building relationships is not possible without in depth knowledge like this and so many people arent naturally gifted with this knowledge ofc for the simple fact no one is perfect. I myself never thought as myself as anything close to perfect however when it came to relationship intelligence i failed to realize i could always learn and do better. My partner has shown me that and although we have a long way to go i hope she never took any of my lack of knowledge as nothing less than us being young, I love her with all my heart and am becoming a better person not only for her but for myself. I love you ya Amar

Thanks for creating this video!

You said it yourself. It's a game. It's not real

Thanks man

Hello clayton I just wanted to say thank you for this video.. I’ve been dealing with a lot of relationship anxiety even tho i just found out what it was at first I thought i was just an odd person but come to realize relationship anxiety really is a thing.. once again thank you for this video because you really opened my eyes into how to fix relationship anxiety i cant wait to replay this video 100 more times

Thank you for this

From which book does this knowledge come from?

What do you do when you need more communication I feel like that's a fundamental need and that's what causes me to have anxiety I'm not an anxious person I know my worth how would you ask for this in a relationship thank you this was an amazing video ❤

Wow. I have never been more Targeted in my life 😢

This was extremely helpful- thank you

Thank you

Infinite thinking however, opens up to non-committal because it's self serving. Maybe it's more growth oriented, and we definitely should incorporate it within a healthy relationship, but it feels like a ton a pressure needing to show up as secure attachment when honestly we all just want to be accepted and loved right where we're at. Also a partner who is willing to do the dance with you while you wrestle and try to become more secure is a beautiful thing (as long as you truly are working on not projecting your own stuff into them, because that can also become imbalanced and unhealthy within a relationship). However feeling like you must show up as totally secure for the other person to not reject you is unrealistic in my humble opinion and in itself causes anxiety.

Overall, I’m not an insecure person. I feel secure in a relationship until the man I’m with literally stares at other women in front of me. When I was married I felt feelings of rejection when my husband looked at other women in front of me but, I never expressed my feelings about it to him. After being single and unattached for 3 years, I got into the relationship I’m currently in. It’s a great healthy relationship. Initially he was doing the same thing. I expressed to him that I feel disrespected when he does that and he stopped doing it. But my question is why do I feel like this and what can I do to stop feeling this way? I wish that when my partner looked at other women that it wouldn’t phase me. What he does when I’m not around doesn’t phase me. I’d like to keep that posture all the time.

This is some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten outside of therapy! I definitely am guilty of game playing, tracking power, and thinking in terms of the results rather then the process. I’ll definitely keep all of these in mind!

Wow you have deep beautiful eyes

especialy the last point! thank you

Clayton, You really should have written a relationship book based on the infinite vs finite theory. Out of hundreds of relationship/breakup videos, this one cut the deepest for me. It really stuck a nerve and pulled roots out; where ive been going wrong for so many years with 20+ girls. This theory has changed my mindset and perception and I feel it has uplifted me and taken so much weight off of my shoulders. Thank you.

Wow why isn’t this man mainstream? We all need him in our lives..I love how he compares this to finite!!! Very creative

I wish I could meet a guy like you, Clayton. You help me find a quiet, calm, confident place within myself, where I am aware of how much love I have to offer. Thank you. ❤

I have found myself sometimes able to have infinite thinking when it comes to some situations but others I find myself
(as it says in Matthew 7) putting my faith or security in things that are not stable "like shifting sand" instead of in God and learn from where we can grow and the enjoying the quality of the relationship with the other person. Thanks for sharing.
Good things to keep in mind.

The finite thinking is the game my whole marriage of 15 years was playing which ultimately caused us to divorce..

But with infinite thinking weve been able to reconcile and become partners again and feel excited to be together and grow together applying what weve learned and look to the future, truly as one.

Things are absolutely different and i never thought id feel this way about partner or ex spouse.

I need your help desperately

You are awesome!

beautiful

Clayton, how would you implement these in your relationship? How do you make that change?

i relate to all the finite thinking examples given. When I was listening to the Threat vs Inspiration one I cried a bit. I'm 19, with my first serious boyfriend of two years. I tired of my anxiety and fear. I just want to be better, for him, for myself. I feel guilty to be with him, and I question what he sees in me and why he stays with me, and I loathed myself for not being mature enough like how he is. It's so exhausting and stressful to deal with this much overthinking and negativity everyday and trying to keep it to myself and solve it myself so as not to burden anyone around me. Shit. I mean I know how strong I am and all that I've overcame so far, and I know I'll get through this because I'm not one to give up. But damn I'm just thinking how long would it take me? How long do I need to make him wait? three fours years maybe? 8 years? idk.. I acknowledge that I am making progress each day. Somedays I just want to cry. I won't allow myself to ever give up trying, but I'm so damn tired.

wow..

Brilliant. Thank You