Be Careful of The DARVO Manipulation Tactic

My emotionally abusive ex said I was doing this.... which must mean that SHE was doing it lol

If doing this would get you money my dad would be a trillionare

DARVO is the hard part, when accusers tell everybody false allegations about u then ppl start going against u, after u, it’s tough.

i remember when that happened aside from the covid racial stereotyping too, but im glad its all gone now.

it got even physical i had to defend myself & thankfully stopped, but still lingers a bit , yet immune to it

2020- early 2024 ish was social hell 😂😂.

watching this rn after c ing world leaders doing DARVO manipulation on another world leader on the news, reminding me of gaslighting & DARVO (btw let’s got get further into politics).

anyway being a victim to a lot of gaslighting & bullying made me stronger mentally, i thank that too

This is the missing piece I've been searching for. Now everything is starting to fall into place and make sense. My experiences with this are just as you laid it out. Particularly the part where the victim gets stunned and confused. It would get to that point and I could never understand, why is this happening, am I really that bad a person? It's amazing how I was always wrong, always at fault 100% of the time. How about that! I actually felt bad about going NC, but our last interaction was one of these DARVOs. I do not feel badly now I see it so clearly. 💡

This is extremely freeing, thank you. ❤

a terrible gaslighting tactic I had in a relationship, very confusing at the time, and since seen in another friend, and now from an entire group -the trick is trust yourself!

Why not just call it manipulation?

Great video!!!

Humbly: physical abuse is much more dangerous than emotional abuse. Not a drop of blood has ever been spilt by a mean word. Plenty of spouses are left injured or dead from physical abuse. Very inappropriate to say they are just as dangerous. Idk how any sane human could come to that conclusion and I certainly dont trust anything your channel has to say at this point.

I don't know if I'm being Darvod or if I'm the one doing it. It's all so confusing.

I don't know if I've been through darvo before but I know that when I was 12 I hang out with someone a bit older and he called me useless and stuff like that I don't know if that's darvo

IM MANUPLATIVE 😈😈😈

I think people need to be educated on the emotional abuse and manipulation people can go through because is really not that easy and simple to take notice. It can even take years and be dismissive a lot.

I went through DARVO online, I was stuck in a manipulative and toxic friendship. I met my abuser when I was 17 and him in his mids 20s, I thought for a long time I was the manipulator and that I was always harming him when the reality was different.

It took me a long time to recognize this destructive pattern which always left me with an emotional damage, I couldn’t comprehend why I was feeling this way and had this damaging mental state. Even to the point of him spreading false rumors against me and took the victim role, which made me lost friends.

Three years nearly has passed ever since I met him and dealt with the emotional manipulation and blame shifting, two months ago I left him and the toxic community that reminded me of the trauma, and took this month to realize that I wasn’t the monster as he said I was and that he isn’t the victim, I was the real victim and he is the monster.

I think is extremely important to being awareness of this kinds of situations.

Manipulation doesn’t happen only in Romantic relationships, it can happen in different kinds of relationships whether in friendship, family or work environment.

I wish the best of luck to the victims that went through this even if it was online or in person, you deserve peace and real respect and love. I hope you can have your voice back again ❤️

Great video

I find that 9 times out of ten it really goes a long way to just stick your fingers in your ears and completely ignore them. Whenever someone tries to play psychological or emotional games with me I just shut down. The other person finds themselves talking to a brick wall. It's not that I'm do it to try to prove a point to them. I'm doing it because I genuinely no longer gaf.

What if you’re an only child of a manipulator single mother and she has literally weighted every scale against me, social, familial, monetary, you name it. And if it weren’t bad enough, she has an extra leg up on me because I’m a kidney patient in need of a transplant-

Of which she is forcing herself into the role of my caretaker against my own wishes.
Yes, I understand exactly how it sounds. I’m in search of answers.

This sums up my mothers behaviour and my wife's behaviour. I'm 35 and got sober 5 years ago. During this time, I've slowly but surely made sense of my experience. I know no different to this type of behaviour from a woman who loves me, it's become my normal. Neither my wife or my mother will ever change these behaviours but I fail to believe they don't know what they're doing. I can't communicate with my wife about this in any meaningful way because she applies the DARVO method. If I leave her, I lose my son who is 1. Had I had the same self-awareness I have now, I wouldn't have started a family with this person but hindsight is a wonderful thing. If I don't tolerate these behaviours, I leave the marriage and lose my son. I understand I have 'rights' etc but the reality is different. She'll do whatever she needs to in order to remain in control. I'll end up giving up because of hard she makes it and the emotional impact it has on me, no-one will believe me or care because I'm a man (no self-pity attached to that) My son will grow up believing his Dad doesn't want to see him reinforced by my wife twisting his head. I feel like I am in a no win situation.

It's literally been TWO YEARS and I am being GANGSTALKED despite getting rid of social media for a year they found their way to come and crash a party with a fake apology and fake being friends

20 years ago I had to an “anger management” class. The entire idiotic approach back then was that one could not be “provoked”. Provocation was seen as you not being able to control yourself. When I would explain just how my now ex-wife would argue and use linguistic manipulation Gaslighting every situation so that she always came out the victim in the end, simply looking at her the wrong way could be considered assault to her! Meanwhile, she’s poking me in the chest, saying
“This is not aggressive”
The counselors would always shut me down, and remind me that “one cannot be provoked, you are responsible for only your actions…”
Only people who have been in a truly toxic relationship will understand where in coming from. It leaves you completely defeated and demoralized, literally questioning reality itself

I has always been thro ugh this i don’t know how to reAct even when i saw wht shes has done she simply shift blame on me i don’t know wht to do and ask forgiveness (sory my english aren’t good)

Mentally emotionally financially socially physically torture

I feel like I've been falsely accused of this. Perhaps I've had moments of this, but doesn't everyone? I'm not making excuses. I tread softly and make sure I'm attentive and sweet, and somehow, at the end, I became the villain/manipulator. I watched several videos of this, and it's not resonating. It actually hurts that my previous lover sees me this way. She never spoke up on it. I'm just learning this after the break up. I just never thought I would have the title of the manipulator thrown at me. Odd. Crazy part is she's now dating my "friend," whom she told me not to worry about. Wild work.

I am and if you want to talk to me shoot me some money???? No thanks

One of my brothers bullied and berated me my entire life. Every time I react to it and try to tell him how much it hurt me he totally denies it ever happened or acts like I deserved it and like I am mentally ill for speaking the truth. I hate that I was born into a family that refuses to care how much he abused me throughout my life.

Video resinates with my life thanks

Ok but what happens when someone IS straight up lying about something you did, so you correct them that that's not what happened? If you're pointing out the fact of what DID happen and it makes them look nuts because you know (and have proof) that they're lying, someone can still claim you're gaslighting because you're 1. denying their allegation and 2. making them into the offender.

darvo sucks

My ex used to do this to me all the time, which makes it all the more validating to know the exact terminology. Here's what he'd do:

Deny: "I didn't scream at you from the moment you got home until 4AM, you're just making things up"

Attack: "Okay, fine, it really happened! But you were being very selfish when you were too tired after work to do all my chores for me!"

Reverse Victim and Offender: "Also I'm neurodivergent, so you're an ableist for even suggesting my actions weren't okay! Now apologize for this fight I caused!"

Are they intelligent enough to know they are using DARVO?

Typical DARVO behaviour… x.x that shit‘s rough

Ayanokoji enter the chat and lost his smartphone

Sometimes people do this because they aren’t emotionally strong/mature enough to be able to accept that they did something wrong. They think admitting that they’re wrong makes them look like a bad person.

This is also a good reminder not to become emotionally abusive yourself, don’t be so quick to deny responsibility, genuinely reflect on the things someone might be trying to tell you.

It's hard to tell sometimes who starts it or if it's happening. Last girl I dated got on me about not texting enough. I expressed i wanted more time in person and texting all day doesn't work with my work and really i dont know what to say half the time other than "nice lol" when she tells me something about a coworker.

Ive learned over communication can kill interest and that seems to me what happened because I had started strong trying to see her in person more but that wasn't working. Then she would text a lot that really seemed like killing the time rather than substance. I asked her to come over and she'd say no at times because of something coming up but if she asked to come over and I'd say yeah, that wasn't energetic enough. When I tried to support my side she got defensive and made it seem like im the problem. Yet we still werent focusing on when we could have time together as was the main issue. Maybe I am the problem.

All i know is the last day, I did text her more while she was at work but I also had my day off. Asked her over again, like 3 days in a row and she said no, we should end this. So I tried giving her more of what she wanted but still not enough. I was tired of being in a situation where i saw the person 1 maybe 2 times a week. I didn't feel texting all week was building a connection.

Fake only men can be abusers

Cowardly copout stuff, is what it is.

My step-mom told me about darvo when I was venting about my biological mother. I’m a very articulate guy, and am constantly confronting mother with her gaslighting and narcissistic abusive behavior, but once step-mom mentioned DARVO, I thought “wow, that hit the nail on the head.” Even after all these years I never said it better myself.

First time hearing DARVO is in South Park 😁

Thank you for these, everytime she just yelled or started an argument out of nowhere, it didnt end iuntil i just sat there and apologized and said whatever she wanted to hear just so she stopped. Bringing up later that it hurt me was even worse because she just yelled at me more saying how can i do this to her, that she trusted me, that i am not allowing her to "feel emotions". I felt like i was losing my mind. Her constantly yelling, blame and crying out of nowhere. She had a tough childhood that would leave anyone traumatized and i thought what i am doing is helping stopping her from crying being patient and reassuring. Its still hard because we basically lived together (5 days and nights a week) and did so much stuff together but holy hell i should have gone from there so much sooner.
Looking back her flirting with me while still being with her boyfriend, her accepting his invintation to spain for 3 weeks with his family and breaking up with him there on the first week and starting to date me a week later (still on the trip) her later on painting him as an abuser, traumatizer to the point that she cried for how toxic he was and then when i see them interact a month later she is just toxic and annoying to him, hashsah her friend even started dating him and they are still dating, her friend even dropped her because she was still toxic to him. She cried about that too asking me if she really is so toxic, and i said no, i wanted to say yes but i was scared she is gonna yell at me. How the hell i didnt take any of these seriously i cant help but laugh and cry because few red flags is fine. But she was basically shoving them down my throat.
What broke me and still haunts me is that after a year and a half of doing chores, getting her food, baking her cakes, being there for her everytime she cried and doing basically anything she asked for, when i was sad and wanted her to stop yelling and arguing with me so much she told me straight to my face "I am not here to help you with your incecurities or your emotions, go to therapist for that"......and i fucking believed her, i fucking believed that me being sad about her constantly yelling and not doing anything for me is an incecurity and went to the fucking therapist.
After that i just lost it and yelled at her for which is she now spreading that i am an abuser, agresive and that i caused her trauma. (yeah this last part sounds aggresive and thats because it is, i didnt raise my voice and was nothing but kind and understanding and for that to be labeled as an abuser after she tells me i dont matter is still infuriating and hurts so much). If anyone is reading this and the have a partner with childhood trauma that does simular things constantly remember that you cant help, you did enough, if they cant change, if they dont want to go to therapy, if they dont have literrally no empathy YOU CANT HELP. As much as they cry yell and beg YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH IN THIS CASE. They dont want to and cant change.

There was a narcissistic male streamer (he’s big) I was talking to romantically but we never dated. He began dating a 31 year old catfishing as a 25 year old that copied my every move and word. He also mimicked me because he admired my good qualities I guess. Me and a few of his moderators discovered she was catfishing, and I told him. His narcissism got worse as she was also a malignant narcissist. She began manipulating him, convoluted his entire perception of me and then blamed, emotionally harassed me for months, then banned me in his chat and discarded me. 9 months later he “exposed” his catfish and so I had enough and exposed him for playing the victim all the while not even acknowledging the true weight of his actions. I spent 4 days in the hospital a year prior to all of this because of the depression and self-blame he caused me (I’m mentally ill and disabled). When I exposed him, he doubled down, did DARVO, said I was psychotic manipulative abusive a danger to myself and others, among other things. He then proceeded to manipulate my entire friend group into talking shit about me publicly, this continued for months as they harassed, gang stalked, and insulted me for my art even going as far to say “it’s sad you call yourself an artist when this is the art you do” posting all on social media. This guy has hundreds of thousands of followers. Weaponizes them against me, isolated me, almost felt like he wanted me to kill myself. Thank god I’ve learned about narcissism. Some days are hard, but I don’t cry about that absolute dumpster fire of a person. Dude’s life is literally pathetic. He even went to say we dated when we never did just so he could make his pathetic self seem more desirable, sexually harassing me with comments about having sex with me (when I never even met him!!! But yet HE said IM parasocial, like the level of delusion I witnessed was flabbergasting and the flying monkeys ate that shit up!!).

If you’re reading this and got this far, you can make it. Take my story with you, mine was probably one of the lesser bad ones but the emotional turmoil these people try to cause you for their own disgust with themselves is dangerous. Get out while you can or it will kill you.

Wow. Thank you for the video. Im in the recieving end of DARVO in my relationship. My gf is kinda toxic. She break up with me in a year ago. She now wants to come back. But she doing DARVO, heavily remembering me of the good old times, and our past arguments.

2024 has proven to already begin on a positive note. This is the first time I have ever heard of DARVO. It is exactly what myself and my grandchildren are living through with my eldest son. We are all living under one roof currently and he is using this tactic of manipulation. He has been using this on my grandchildren for more than five years, but just started with me when they needed help and came to stay with me for a short time. It was supposed to be less than three months and then has gone into a year already. This is extremely upsetting and sad for me because I don’t know how he became like this. I’m sure it’s mental illness. But what happened? How did this come to be?

Either way, I have shared this with my eldest granddaughter, and we will work on trying to call this out to him but we are also working with a therapist

I’m super interested in understanding DARVO, and from my understanding I have found that DARVO can occur out of order, anyone else seen this?

DARVO??

At this point this channel is becoming dangerous at promoting psychological witch-hunts. "DARVO Manipulation Tactic", which consists of "denial of responsibility" - which every truly innocent person does, and "attack and role reversal", which are subjective, and can be claimed by any emotionally unstable victimhood addict. In the words of Jeff Waters - "Pushback looks like an attack". You are arming lunatics with pseudo-scientific terminology to excuse their behavior.

Oh...i didn't know....

Ok so I know that this was posted a month ago and I might not get an answer but I know I was either manipulated or gaslighted but I liked this guy and through our relationship he would always be depressed and I don't know why he was I tried to keep him happy as long as I could take it for but I felt like I was drowning in his depression and it came down on me he told everyone I knew that I was the problem and the one who needed the mental help he told me that I should get a therapist and everything and of course I was depressed too but it was because of his problems that I started to get depressed and the worst part in all of this is that he wasn't rude in any way he would help me (at least try to) and he'd be kind to me. Then things sorta went south and I questioned if he was gaslighting me or not so I just want to know if anyone could help decipher this for me

I dont even knew this manipulation has a name 😳