The Dark Side of High-Performance Alcoholic Fighter Pilots

Its not easy brother can take many years you have to start somewhere

Well done Tim, Military life was a strange way of life. I look back at the drinking culture and wonder why. We had some great laughs at the time but those days end and you’re only 40 ish! Trying to settle into another life, another career, without understanding life outside the military. Alcohol helps you get over your feelings of being an outsider, it’s something you know and can fall back on. All too soon, it takes over your life. Sad, but that’s the way it happens. You say it so well Tim, thanks, it makes me realise just how stupid I was.

In the 90’s on det in North Denmark after a week in the Irish bars where sleeping/eating was cheating I said out-loud, I can’t do this anymore, I’m going for a steak. Out of about 20, 8 went for steak and coffee. The next night it was 10 who spent their rates on food and not alcohol . The consensus of why do we do it? The answer peer pressure, the need to fit in and the need to de stress. Of course the sobriety didn’t survive first contact etc and we were sucked back to the RAFG Norm. Sadly an ex RAFG mate has just passed due to alcohol related illness which in his final months he put down to too many ‘Frosties’ in the mess bar after flying which shaped his drinking career and assisted with 2 failed marriages

Hi Tim, Ex Navy for 20years, only made Leading Hand and was medically discharged in 2013 when on my Senior rates course. This video is very pertinant, i was definately dependant on alchohol, the lads used to say when the ropes are out Toms out and i fed into this ethos to be popular, now i was not a young man i left in 2013 at the age of 42. The drinking culture as you intimate to was rife it was the done thing and was actively encouraged. When i was discharged i went from a being on a promotional course to basically a quick chat with a guy from the pension service and drove home with no idea of what i was going to do, of course i had a heads up that this could happen before the day of the races and i should have done something to prep but for all the training and preperation i was used to doing for my job i was crap in my personal life. When i left i continued to drink, but the situation was different and i was not the funny guy anymore and my wife had to deal with this, we had a successtion of splits eventually she moved out, it was at this time i relised things needed to change, my wife came back with an ultimatum in short no more, I went to see the doctor and was diagnosed with depression, i thought i could have dold you that, they gave me setriline an anti depressant, i took this for 6 months and stayed off the booze, in truth the tabletss made me numb but gave me the time to process. The journey since then has been a continuation of being aware that i have an issue and to be mindfull of it, golf has become my saviour and my wife keeps me in check, the demon is still there and always will be.

The problem is, or was between ‘74-04, the social scene oriented around alcohol. Squadron beer calls, meet and greets, successful detachment, any excuse. If you didn’t go, you get the reputation for being antisocial, Chinese Whispers started, 6442s started slipping, various ways of saying ‘doesn’t join in’ without saying it outright.

That rain stopped pretty quick

I find your videos useful, and I'm glad you make them. I find what you say on the money. Good for you 👍. Best wishes from Limerick Eire.

I left the RAF, where I wasnt really a drinker, but I was always up for it. Then I joined the Prison Service where it was over 100% of the culture and I was really really into it. Id say I was a FA just like you then I ended up badly breaking my leg and being in hospital for a month - no beer!! And Ive never drank ever since (6 years). So in a way I had a tramatic incident (BANG!) that shocked me into it, or out of it. Even now I think breaking my leg was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Great channel, loving your work.

Shoulda got some weed in you instead of booze lad, relaxes the humours without all that dizziness and side-effects.

I quit 9 months ago, best decision ever. I have the occasional 0.0 beer at a BBQ, but its alcohol free and helps you out when you're in that environment where everyone wants you to join in. Exercise is a big help, too. It doesn't have to be hard going. Just going for a walk is massively beneficial.

The same thing you’re seeing in the forces exists - D3I, alcoholism related to being trapped etc in many other areas of professional life including the City of London
Deleted that and left the country…

I was in the mess bar once, got chatting with a couple of vc10 pilots and was invited to go up with them on a refueling trip the next day. This was at 1am, all of us were drunk. I said goodnight and asked what time to meet them the next day: shock 7am brief for 8am departure. I turned up late because I was so knackard , more shocking was these two guys were totally normal and fresh, its like they just woke up and flicked a switch into serious high performance pilot mode. I had the feeling they did this every single day and it was just routine for them. In hindsight it was stupid of me to board the jet and entrust my life with these piss artists and I am glad nothing went wrong.

I did a few years as a student in the RAF with the UAS, the drinking culture was quite shocking. Even though I loved the flying I didn't like a lot of the people and choose not to pursue the career. There was this huge peer pressure to party and get smashed. We used to get wasted in the mess, ordering drinks by the tray load and playing mess games, then the taxis would turn up at 1am and take us to the local city to hit the clubs. If you wanted to go to bed earlier, or didn't turn up to fancy dress in a good outfit you were bullied. On a leadership training course, I was bullied because I ran out of money (being a student) and couldn't go to the pub. I turned in early and was awoken when they came back. One lad was passed out drunk in his bunk, his mates sexually assaulted him, masturbating over his unconscious face and taking pictures, laughing like a herd of hyenas.

When I flew fast jets over 'nam you better believe I got drunk

I took PPL instruction from retired military pilots. On more than one occasion two of them wreaked of alcohol. I noticed a lot of alcohol in the club fridge too.
Coming from a family with a long history in military aviation I have had many discussions about good pilot's versus questionable bold one's.
Unresolved anger and shame seems to be a common subtext in alcohol abuse. Self medication for stress is another. I ditched the aforementioned instructors over the alcohol and other issues. The forces have become a toxic wasteland. They have replaced dignity and integrity with ego.
A relative of mine, the brother of the famous Teddy Petter, once got taken for a joy ride with Westlands test pilot, a chronic alcoholic. He clung on for dear life because the idiot forgot to strap him in ! A few weeks later that same pilot killed himself in a fatal crash. Alcohol does NOT allow you to function. It reduces it.
I've never met a functioning alcoholic yet that wasn't heading for a major crash and burn. No excuses for it. Not in aviation.
The biggest bullshit myth ever sold was " if your a real man you can handle your drink ".

I joined the military about a decade ago as a reservist. The drinking culture has changed a fair bit since when I joined, its still there, but had reduced a lot. However I have noticed the comradery and esprit de corps has also dropped a lot too, and I do think there is a link, just sitting down afterwards, having a few around the table does seem to help bind a group together I think. I'm not sure if the trade-off is worth it or not. Maybe the problem is how we're drinking. idk.
I myself have decreased the amount I drink significantly as I found as I got older that it did affect my performance, I just wasn't as sharp the next day, even just after one or two the previous night.

Us Anglo-saxons / vikings have always drunk heavily. The russians (God bless them) have their vodka. And the crusades STILL won every single time!!!!

Very interested in your channel. May I ask what rank you made it to in the Royal Navy and Royal Airforce? My Great Uncle flew out of Waddington in Lancs 463 squadron RAAF and was killed over Antwerp Oct 44. He was a NCO Navigator who worked his way up to Pilot Officer (? I think as this was what was in the squadron records although he is marked as a WO on the memorial). Hello from Oz.

I drank as pain relief after my parents died and I burned out at work. All in the same year.
I also drank to go "off duty".
From a secular point of view, the healthiest thing to help reduce a dependence on alcohol that I know of, is to allow yourself the luxury of tears.
You carry your grief, or you release it. You pay it off in installments, or a lump sum.
From a spiritual point of view...... Listen to what Tim said about the poem "Footsteps" in another video.

I took my girlfriend to wales once to Bangor, oh and never wear Russian underpants, Chernobyl fallout. Sorry Tim, well said you mate.

Hi,
I lost a close relative to alcohol not so long ago. He was in the military, too. I applaud your self awareness and willingness to discuss it, as well as your drive to find other healthy life habits like witness. Godspeed!

Thanks, love the no bullshit content, I've been sober 7 years and still experience what you have described, I just accept it as part of my Journey. Being sober has not only improved my life but everyone I come into contact with especially loved ones.

Post RM Training - 17 year old, it was almost compulsory to to go ashore and get "Minging" down Union Street or the Barbican Plymouth. Within a year i escaped the Booze fraternity and bought a motorcycle, ventured further away with like minded fellows... but still had a few close mishaps whilst riding drunk, very lucky, which became a steep learning curve and a education for a Nieve teenager! txs 👍

You gave Jonny Ive the context in which he could make the iPhone. Thank you for my iPhone.

Tim, mate, just shut up. Start running everyday. Or start swimming. Tim, you are the man. This is from ex British Army officer. I am a no one.

I'm 43 now. I regularly used to be blind drunk, sometimes three or four times a week, rarely less than twice. It was a part of my life from around 16 until somewhere around eight years ago. No credit to me, I never intended to quit, it just happened that all my life circumstances changed so that alcohol wasn't a part of it anymore.

There are very few drugs, legal or otherwise, that can inebriate you to the extent that say a litre of vodka can, and I don't believe there are any which can bring out the sheer levels of unpleasant, violent and destructive behaviour alcohol does. I can tell you, the longer time goes on without alcohol, the more you wonder what you ever saw in it.

THE TRUTH DUZZ WELL DIRINK IT

A friend of mine was posted to a u.s. forward deployed aircraft carrier and during his compulsary mess cooking duties assigned to cleaning pilots staterooms, he told me every room had a bottle or two on the desk. I'll bet more was stashed in their lockers.
That was the way it was in the early 70's.

The Russians have several types of airplanes they favor landing at their airports. They use a type of alcohol that are fit to drink for their brake system and leaks were always discovered , require a substantial top up. They can then report the alcohol uses and have a good party later.

Some of your religious elites do not drink, but they are busy with other activities, such as acid attacks, beheading, enforcing their own laws and other dangerous activities etc etc. I used to work in air freight decades ago, and one guy used to be Canadian military, a load master on a Herc., he did confirm there were lots of alcoholics in the force with him. In the military, there are no maximum hours of service, you fly even though you were in the air most of last week, the need of the military come first, and alcohol are tax free. A typical trip he made , from Halifax to west Germany , back, and in Germany again, all in 36 hours. Often, you just had 4 hours to stop and refuel and load. So you down 1/2 a bottle of vodka to try and get some sleep. He's been on some Boeing 707 at times when he went to the front office and found all 4 were asleep and George is doing the flying right after take off. Yes there were 4 at one time , for ocean crossing , a navigator, and the cockpit were not locked. Up to the mid 1960s, a famous travel writer wrote a book called Jet Set, he described every flight in Air France, always saw a tray and a bottle going into the front office. When he asked later, he was told French been drinking since they were kids and used to it. International pressures finally quit the practice.

I'm Ex Army. Took my wife after years of torment I caused her. Due to my Alcohol dependency. To threaten finally to divorce me.

For me to stop it. It's all in the mindset. Only we can do it.

Your a cool dude Tim.

For an RAF bloke.

Keep up the good work.

My dad was a navy pilot during Vietnam and he told me stories of fighter pilots flying drunk . He was flying drunk as well and one day his buddy said he needed to fly with him one day and he said it just so happened on that day he wasn’t drinking and the buddy was monitoring him ( he told him so years after) dad said he got lucky to retire unscathed. He got sober in retirement and his AA friends were his family.

I was in the army in the late 70's early 80's. The army encouraged drinking. In basic at the age of 17 and a half they would issue us with cans of beer or larger.

AA worked for me. Although most alcoholics try to stop by will power, and have dry periods of various durations, they usually experience a cycle of relapses where the next drinking periods are worse than the previous ones. Those relapses for most obsessive drinkers continue their downward spiral until death through vehcular accident or organ failure occurs. It's definitely a terminal disease. We fighter pilots are a strong willed, control freak bunch. We think that we can control alcohol the same way we do a Phantom or a Harrier, through raw will power and finesse. Unfortunately, unlike a supersonic fighter, alcohol is an anesthetic not a machine. It kills the will, erases the pain, eases resentment, removes remorse, postpones the inevitable. In your soliloquy about your own battle with alcohol, I heard you describe several of the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous including "spirituality" which can take many different forms. AA is not a magic bullet, but it has worked for millions of people around the world. I recommend it as an option.

Respect for being so open Tim, it will help a lot of people! i wasn't in the forces but was the same with the drinking, it would be late finish crack a bevvy and crawl in to work the next morning. Only sleeping 4hrs on split shift in afternoon and years of 12 to 15 cans a night takes its toll. I was extremely fortunate i fell unwell and had to stop or i wouldn't have ever give up, getting unwell turned ito a positive for me in a strange way. So yeH your videos help a lot of different people on diffrent paths. Stay safe bro 🙏🏼✌🏽

I love the pontificating at the start - about who is worthy of a reply or engagement.

God bless. You're taking to me. X

Love your channel Tim ❤

I was in the Red Devils in the early 1990s - we would jump into shows and get given loads of free booze, then at Team Training in Ampuria Brava we would be jumping till late, last light, then back to the hotel eat dinner and then out on the piss drinking until daft o clock in the morning then wheels off and skydiving again at 9am. That first skydive would sober you up!

I think fast jet training (probably other courses as well, but not my speciality) is high tempo stress everyday, for years. It has lifetime impacts for all those that go through it. It is brutal, mentally akin to doing your finals every week but knowing if you mess up, you die or others do. That is why we turn to other vices.

That is a right proper gym, wood, flag, bar. The best gyms are basic. Remember deployment gyms?

I'm hope you visited the lovely Llandudno from time to time ✌️ or even venture slightly further into Betws-Y-Coed

You are so inspiring. Love your videos and what you speak up for.

Since this clearly needs saying... WREXHAM! WREXHAM! WREXHAM!


Also... Fly Navy 😂

Yes, I get why you say alcohol dependent rather than alcoholic. If you say you are an alcoholic in those moments when you are tempted you may say to yourself, "Who am I kidding? I'm an alcoholic and always will be. It can't be changed. It's who I am." And then have a drink.

Tim, don't go near those ropes mate. You've helped me out already. All good! We'll be in touch.

I was touched not only by your choice of words but also by the background.
It reminded me of my team in the French Air Force.
You are not alone brother.