Narcissistic Relationships | 5 Strategies

I have been married to a
Narcissist and I have gone cold..and am scared and doubting am turning into one. How to know if am the problem or not? Am going crazy.. can't leave as I have two kids.. and whole family who support him.

My boss. And I live in one of his houses. No matter what I do is never good. I can never win an argument. But I'm about to watch all your videos. Thank you for posting them.

Husband

When I tell you that I'm dealing with a woman right now who is the epitome of a narcissist. WOW. "They're going on their version of the truth". Soooooooooooo accurate. Don't engage and don't try to explain.... all excellent points.

A friend

Why no husband. Sometimes you cannot leave

5 ways to do it to choose your ammunition and scope carefully. Make sure you have enough range between you and your target to get away best possible. Choose your sniper rifle carefully .Have a sidearm handy in case you get caught as you will not want to go beyond that point, write some letters beforehand

My mother is a extream narcissist and it putting a extream pain on my wife and kid

Bf!!! Worst 15 years of hell he uses my belongings against me and cuts all my clothes and even my Jordon s

Not even a gen conversation works with narc...they will argue about blue skies....and always lies about scheduled times...rearranges all situations for doubt n fear

My son in law....i walk away..yet paranoid of him..dont know what he will do next...already manipulating my grand kids away from me

My husband is an undiagnosed covert narcissist who had an abusive and hard childhood and I've been reading psychology books about personality disorders and mood disorders and watching videos looking for what was wrong with me why I was feeling like I was always wrong with me was I un diagnosed and had a mood disorder did I have a communication problem or was the way I tried to express my feelings or anger unhealthy and accusatory because it always triggers a fight of how I'm picking on him or how I'm the problem no matter how much I clean I could have done more if it looks perfect he will walk through the house and always find something I did not do or point out how I did it wrong . He has cheated on me twice the first time I was devisated and he said it was my fault I did not take care of his needs in the bedroom and he felt ignored at the time we had just had our second child who had crup and was admitted to the hospital I found out about the affair the night our son was released . I became a zombie obsessed with making the home perfect and catering to everything he needed and still it continued but he would lie and say it was over so I started making my self perfect but always fell short I ended up dropping from 118 lbs down to 100 before I looked in the mirror and did not recognize my self I had never had self image issues I knew I was not perfect but I was the best version of me and that woman looking back scared me that was the day I told him I did not care if he left or stayed i was not a robot if that was what he wanted in a wife he married the wrong women and I would ignore his criticism and just focused on or children it was shortly after that that the affair was ended but he refused to talk about it and when I would ask he would say I'm over it why can you be stop bringing it up I know I hurt you it hurts me ever time you bring it up. For a few years there was no affair I'm not 100% sure because I've never got all the details but I believe the next one started during the end of my third pregnancy I have found a message from somebody saying congratulations on the new baby sweetie when I came home from the hospital when I questioned it I was told I was over reacting and it was just a work friend and I forced my self to except that knowing it was a lie but with no proof I couldn't say anything I confirmed the affair a month before or sons first birthday but unlike with the first one I didn't feel numb I didn't cave in to the complaints or accept the plane I became angry and it became a very volatile situation and then I was called crazy and when I've had enough and was ready to go I was like to and said that it was over and that pattern continued for months till I contacted the other woman and center messages where he was telling me how much he loved me and how horrible she was and I told her he's probably saying the same thing to you and she ended it. But the apology was never natural apology it was an open ended I know I hurt you guess I'm just not what you need and anytime I bring up something that is wrong or I feel that we should be doing better to strengthen the relationship I get told sorry I'm not the man for you you need better go find it instead of attempting to fix those issues I'm told to go look for something else there's never been any physical violence but there's definitely been verbal abuse but I'm just as guilty of that because I do have a very quick temper. I was so thankful to have stumbled across these videos they have helped me exponentially to understand that while yes some of it is me in this relationship but a lot of it is him but he'll never take the blame for any of it but it's teaching me coping mechanisms for how I approach the situation because you can't change somebody else you can only work on yourself and I have learned to disengage from the negativity when he constantly picks at me to just answer calmly and turn around and focus on something else or to go out and do something else and let him have his moods cuz it's not going to change if I stay in there or if I go away either way he's going to feel how he feels but that when he is trying to start a fight I just talk calmly and try to continue to calm my voice even more but that only seems to make him matter till I just find something else to do and let him implode or calm down. I was wondering if you could do a video on how a wife can thrive with her marriage when she loves the narcissistic husband and doesn't want to walk away. And is there any things that I can do to help him because I feel like that abused little boy is still in there and is in control and that these are coping mechanisms that he has learned through the years to protect himself kind of like a cloak because he never received any of the counseling he should have back then and from what I've learned from his sister and his aunts it was pretty bad

❤❤❤

Coworker

Should someone take back their ex if the ex is a Narcissist?

This is wonderfully informative, but what studies have been made on the enabler? The narcissist and the enabler seem to go hand in glove. What brings about the enabling mentality? They even seem to be searching for someone to enable. Finally is the way we disfunction as a family, also the way we will disfunction as a group, as a society, and as a nation? I am specifically thinking of the relationship between Hitler and the German people, and the relationship between Donald Trump and the Republicans. In both cases an entire political party seems to have been successfully gas lighted.

My daughter in law

I love coming back to watch these videos because he makes me realize we arent crazy. Sometimes we tend to think others are dealing in the same reality as everyone else, but some clearly arent. My wife and I are dealing with one in our family, and we found the only way to have some sanity is not to engage. They just make stuff up, or twist the truth, and will fly off the handle at the smallest thing. Worst yet is because we really wont talk to them, they now tell others how they are the victim because we wont talk to them or share our lives with them. So they have said all this terrible things about us to our faces and behind our backs, they caused scenes, they behaved terribly, but then turn around and act like we are the bad ones for not talking to them anymore. Its crazy stuff.

excellent discussion. At 7min it hit the nail on the head. Showed a text of what my spouse said. Engaged and boom! Should have used their advice

My boyfriend is a narcissist!
Nd now I'm tried of him ! He gave me so much pain ! I always tolerate his narcissistic behvs ! Nd I'm dying inside with him !

Just started learning about NPD and it makes me sad as my partner seems to be a narcissist. I never feel my worth, I feel undervalued and always unsatisfied emotionally. What's scary is that she is not afraid to break up, and what I have learnt is that's how these people are. It's painful and sad because I can't think of my life without her, and I don't see a way out. I feel drained as she never makes me feel connected or loved.

This is a good video. I have spent hours educating myself about npd. I think people with anxious attachment trauma are more easily gaslit! And that relationship dynamics between narcissist (one version of codependent) and the perceived victim (another codependent) are inevitable until one or both learn to regulate the self independently. Ultimately we're searching for the same thing, but one presents more abusive than the other. It's up to us to learn how to guard ourselves and hopefully one day, live unphased by someone who, without insight, is incapable of healing. Narcissist bashing isn't the answer ❤

If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when him or she do it again. The best thing is to hire above private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me.

I chose my Narc husband….. I didn’t know he was a Narc at the time. He didn’t show it before we got married. Once he had me it’s been awful for decades. So what’s wrong with me? Financially I can’t leave cause we can’t even sell the house we have no $ no health insurance etc. so this advice of not engaging is about the best I can do.

This is really insightful, thankyou. I was married to a covert narcissist for 8 years and I have had to deal with loads of narcs I couldn't get out of my life such as school teachers / head teachers at my children's previous schools, social workers, police, etc. Had I known these things such as the "radical acceptance" theory I could have dealt with all those people much better. I have Asperger's syndrome and am obviously - for this matter - a high empath, and it has been so difficult dealing with the narcs in my life. Thankyou!! "Be un-gaslightable" I love it!

Heres 2 ways ....leave completely forever right now. 2nd A bullet.

My mother is a narcissist. Now she is aged i care for her. Her other children cut and run long ago. She is extrememly challenging and accuses me of elder abuse all the time.

"Universals" is another way of saying "Generalizations"

The Body language in this conversation is interesting.

Sorry, Richard Grannon’s approach in dealing with a narcissist is spot on. Radical acceptance? C’mon, unless you are Buddha, a narcissist will emotional whiplash you into a mess.

A caregiver at a facility

My grandparents

My father was a narcissist, my ex husband was also…..my current husband is also!! We are both in counseling that is helping immensely

The suggestions are good, but a long time relationship can be really depressing with them!!

Mine is my wife how to I survive a life with a narcissist wife please advise me how I can control a survival roll to live a beautiful life for myself as a husband

My significant other my partner in life that self-proclaimed narcissist. Also he’s been told that by his therapist near me for years and I just didn’t really understand and I’m trying to educate myself and I’m getting a lot of I should get out of the relationship I leave the relationship is not going to get better. I’m just looking for some more information better educate myself to make a better informed decision.

I have been getting up to speed listening to so many programs by Dr. Ramani. It's so helpful and has stopped me from trying to argue with the narcissist, telling them off, I just have my eyes wide open now. It's also so helpful to know what to expect . I just wish there was a way to help the narcissist and it's sad and tragic that I can't.

My narc is my ‘husband’. We had a wedding ceremony, but there was confusion in obtaining the certificate. Now we are getting‘wedding counseling’ to see if we will make it official. (I’m ready, TBI of his and all, but because he was ‘in denial’ that I was vaping, he’s holding out. I have 5 days off the vape today.

Narrccisist are weak attention seekers who only open up behind closed doors and then bullshit to everyone being the victim and feeling sorry for himself
This narrccisist I actually live with has made me a very very strong lady because I just dont take no crap of him
I walk away from the usual crap and abuse and end up laughing at how weak and lonely these idiots are
They are unpredictable in relationships LOL you never know what shit comes out the mouth and half the time I ain't even listening to the idiot
I can say I'm the strongest in mind and so much kinder and nicer to people than that foul mouthed ever is

My wife & a old best friend are both narcissist. They have paired up & it’s freaking dangerous

No one here is agree that he/she is a narcissist as well

My Mother

My therapist just shared this video with me. This is enormously supportive.

🙋🏻‍♂️

I’m pretty sure I’m an Empath and both my adult sons are Narcissists and I’m currently living with one of them (and it’s a nightmare). The only time he speaks to me seems to be to attack me about something, so I’ve always naturally defended myself. I’ve clearly been sooooo ‘Gaslightable’!!THANK YOU SO MUCH for this information 🙏🏼❤️

I have been able to implement every single thing you mentioned. What I can’t bear is some one poking a fun of my partner in front of me. They knowing how the person is and not respecting him.

VERY helpful. Thank you

My husband

It's my ex-husband who's the narcissist in my life. He blames me for everything and uses our children to justify himself by influencing their perception of me. I'm here because we're headed into another issue, this time it's over the education of our children. Not something I can ignore.