Why Romantics are Ruining Love | Alain de Botton | Google Zeitgeist

"Mutual enlightenment" - how? How can 2 "crazies" as Alain puts it create "mutual enlightenment"? This is actually a weak point in an otherwise great talk. Btw, if you are pondering over this, there is no such thing as "mutual enlightenment". Enlightenment is a solo journey which first requires an understanding of what it is, and then, possibly decades of practice. No one can bring another one along on this journey.

This guy should know a lot about love. His head looks like a testicle.

I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death.

I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse. Also, you are more likely to be much more closer to someone who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a romantic partner or spouse.

People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.

Love is not only built on top of sexual/romantic attraction but also the energy, time and patience that is put into improving and learning about each other and fixing the cracks along the way, which is definitely not fun. But this is exactly where the beauty and meaning of love lies, which is, regardless of our differences, the difficulties we have encountered or will encounter, we still choose to stay with each other and love each other.

ogabogaboga

He's so nice to listen to its like he's reading verses from the common sense bible or something

What a Man or God , Sane, Sensible, Amazingly Touching, Wow
God Bless You

That's why for most couples, happy marriage starts later in life after love disappears.

Love love love Alain - he sees the human world as it is - we are a mixed up bunch of weirdos, who believe they are Normal - very few of us have climbed down from the Trees 🌳🌳🌳

great

Alain de bottom is an idiot. Dumbest thing to make the subject of your talks: opposing one single viewpoint that isn’t at all a problem. Absurd view. Absurd fool.

Romanticism is just fine. Leave it alone. It’s the anti-romantics who are often miserable, unhappy, unethical, and incapable of respecting others around them. I’ll go back to ignoring this untalented dunce.

Perfect summary of what I have come to realise through life.

To sum this thing, Alain de Botton said "Love is a skill and a skill that needs to be learned. Love is not just admiration for strength, it is also tolerance for weakness and recognition of ambivalence. To be with another person is negotiating imperfections every day."

Hang in there, fellow INFJs...

It annoys me when people misuse grammar

What an enlightening speaker. I’ve just binged three of his videos and hardly slept. See I am crazy too

I wish I had heard these things when I was a r
Teenager
I blame Walt DisnetY
…and they lived happily ever after. Blah blah blah

Very funny and wise

Very funny and wise

I think some romanticism is fine, as long as we’re aware it’s kind of a game.

Brilliance

when I feel low, I hear this extraordinary man.. he speaks so well and is articulated brilliantly.

''Most of us are on the edge of insanity. It's what it means to be human.'' LOL

You know nothing about love. It has nothing to do with marriage. Prearranged Jewish copulation is not love.

Romanticism started when society was allowed freedom of thought and of personal well being. It was a period when, for the first time, man was not using all of his existence to find food and shelter. People evolved into romanticism because it was time for them to do so, and not because of a silly sunset, or too much time on their hands. It is every meaningful to find the right partner and share life's experiences with one another. Don't listen to this speaker and return to the cold, emotionless directional thoughts of years gone by. Hold on to romanticism!!

He should do stand up

“Lovable idiots”

“Mutual enlightenment” I love that

wonderful speech his ideas are strong and coherent that makes the audients difficult to challenge!

perfect

What about Romeo and Juliet. They are a bit older..

Sentimental Love is the product of the 18th century Enlightenment, not 19th century Romanticism. His ignorance of cultural history is embarrassing.

I need to find someone with Alain de Botton's wisdom and sense of humor.

Wonderful speech!

I had a friend who fell in love with her current partner because both of them loved to sniff each other's armpits. They married later.

The unfortunate problem with this talk is that he conflates classical romanticism with Modern Romanticism. The modern ‘romantic’ movement is a marketing campaign.

Hmm...actually Carenina, Bovary etc. were about women being judged for following their hearts not adultery in general...

Hmm...actually what was called romanticism, starting in mid 19th century, had little to do with marriage or romantic love the way we mean it now, but rather with artists finding, inventing, breathing, eating drama in life, heroicism etc

This guy has best accent that exist here on earth.

Alain knows his stuff.

Mai lavorato,arbeit!

i love this man😂👍everything he says,is right,and he puts it in such a humorous way😂👍

This is true.. That's why Im single, I pick someone's mind just to understand how someone thinks, how they get mad before sleeping with them unfortunately men nowadays are intimidated or get bored with that process hence they leave thinking I am not rea interested.

mostly ''romantics'' are after the idea of being ''crazy'' loved, the ''sacrifices'' given up FOR them... the immense importance in the eyes of the beholder sealed with insane proves of love... with that said - they have little to no idea that THEY should do anything to PARTICIPATE and even take a step closer to their partner... in general romantics are very passive existing egocentrics who dream of the static idea of BEING adored and loved - unconditionally loved... that's ''the love'' for most of them - someone loves me and I enjoy it, it makes me feel good (about myself), but there is no obligation, demands or sacrifices I should do to participate in this ''love''... as ''the (true) love'' can never end - THEY (have to) love me until the end of time''

I can listen to this over and over. Great message. Excellent messenger.

Defamation

Alain de Botton is probably one of the best philosophers of our age. If people ever wanted to understand a bit about living, de Botton and the school of life he created should be at the epicentre. How, I wonder we have become to be so false and deceiving about life and living and the majority just swallow it all up and take it as the absolute truth and try to burn those criticizing all the nonsense to the stake. It takes though a very mature and an open minded community who can actually put all these concepts into practice.