Gabbie Hanna's Poetry is BAD [part 1]

Prose is beer, but poetry is wine.

Everyone in the comments: Great video
Me: What's her drink? I want her pink drink. Sparkly.

Roses are red
Violets are violet
Wine

Love the hair color 😍

I shall now attempt to write something better than Gabbie Hanna's poetry.

Mushrooms

Mushrooms growing here and there
Mushrooms growing everywhere
Mushrooms peeking through my toes
Where they come from no one knows

Mushrooms rising past my feet
Mushrooms rising past my knees
Mushrooms crawling up my legs
Using hair as climbing pegs

Mushrooms pausing at my chest
Mushrooms that won't stop their quest
Mushrooms munching at my heart
Tearing veins and worlds apart.

Mushrooms racing to the top
Mushrooms that just cannot stop
Mushrooms leaving my arms free
To gather more and more for me

Mushrooms clawing at my brain
Mushrooms blanketing my pain
Mushrooms growing from my head
They'll keep climbing till I'm dead

(May or may not have been inspired by Sozo from COTL)

If she was 8 years old I might forgive her...

If y'all want a poem about suicide that ACTUALLY slaps, is well written, and shows the harm of suicide without making it appealing (a common risk with depicting suicide in media)... may i present to you, The View from Halfway Down from the tv series Bojack Horseman

"Sleep" is like a syphilitic Dr Seuss scribbling. Shell Silverstein proved you can do it simple and childish and still make something worthwhile.

Little Red Cap is a beautiful poem, the words are lilting and dark and free.
Sleep is Sleep Sleep is beep Beep beep jeep on the other hand...

Im watching this years later with no prior knowledge of either channels, this is what she calls bullying? I would be so happy if anyone took the time to make me constructive criticism WITH EXAMPLES and without being mean. This ain't bullying, this is amazing.

An interesting thought/take I had about the last poem.

I also have a long history with SH in many forms.

The comparison between SH and a hair cut made me wonder if the intent was to highlight how some people do make drastic changes to their appearances as a form of self harm.

Personally for me my SH was always related to my idea of punishment and for many their hair is a part of themselves and important to their self worth. And related to that in my household it was also a form of punishment. If you did wrong you would be threatened with or have your hair cut or forcibly changed against your will.

Perhaps this was her intent in the poem but it’s something I could see having inspired it.

Gabbies poetry:

My name is joe and i own a hoe
And with that hoe i plant some seed
And then thoes seeds grow to trees
Trees are cool and so is school

so deep 😢

a few years late but i absolutely adore this format
you do an excellent job of indicating poetic techniques the central person attempts to use and draw direct comparisons to the works of poets you adore in such a fluid fashion!
it's still criticism, of course, but in such a constructive and inspiring manner
and the direct exposure and education you provide to viewers: there are so many books and poems i now have to urge to check out myself after this one video!

The first sleep one reminded me more of a Spike Milligan type poem. The rhyming scheme, the simplicity and the more happy/tongue in cheek tone. Spike Milligan just does it in a much more refined and thoughtful way. Spike Milligan is also funny

I study carol Ann Duffy at 6th form, honestly I HATED poetry but I really like her! She’s the only poet I’ve actually been able to enjoy, poetry is still not my thing but god I have such an appreciation for her

...relinquish the dog....

i dont know anything abt gabbi so i read/listened to her poem w tons of good faith even though it's super simple and not my preferred style of poetry i think i def read more into it than just "sleep + depression"
seems super bad faith to compare it to a poem like the little red cap which was abt feminism and sxuality and relationships and even a predatory older man blahblah cos gabbi's wasnt abt any of those

in fact i think it's kinda telling that she didn't mention relationships or things that ppl tend to long for. her dreams that she mentioned are v simple as well, and abt indulgence of things that are relatively easily accessible
maybe she has a tough relationship w food.
even her use of exclamation points can be read as someone trying to be upbeat and positive when she literally is talking abt using sleep as an unhealthy coping mechanism for a reality she'd legit rather not take part in lol idk and i also think looking over "sleep is cheap" was a missed opportunity to again be good faith bcos other coping mechanisms or bad habits can become quite expensive like drinking drugs etc.

How can you talk about feminism and then read something that uses Monica Lewinskys name in a derogatory/slut shame-y way? Throughout your videos you're so lovely, but then this. It's shameful and quite disgusting that you're even reading that remark. You're a feminist? Do better.

Honestly, I would love a video of you doing this with actual poetry. Loved the Red Riding Hood rendition, and how you explained and read it

The only complaint I have about her review٫ is that if you're going to compare a poem to another poem٫ please make sure it's the same kind if poem٫ or at least about the same thing. I see her taking one of Gabbie's poems and comparing it too a completely different genre٫ subject٫ and poet than her work. Just something to keep in mind for the future

Sorry this was boring

Poet here. No books, just a blog followed by some cool people. Really appreciate your take on poetry. You’re also a lovely energy from all the vids eye have watched. Thanks for sharing your loveliness and profound views with us Rachel 💜

(Added this at the beginning bc I thought it was more interesting)
About the "Mrs Darwin" poem: this reminds me a lot of that one poem at the beginning of a Bleach volume:
"All people are imitations of apes
All gods, imitations of people"
(note: the French translation says 'mere imitations' instead of just 'imitations')
Read on its own (without the context of the character it is associated with), to me it turns on its head the idea that we ressemble God because he created us, and says instead that the only reason God ressembles us is because we created him.
I wonder if "Mrs Darwin" wasn't intended to have a similar effect: suggesting that either God is similar to a chimpanzee since both He and them are similar to us humans, or shows the replacement of the myth of creation by the theory of evolution: that no, we don't ressemble God, we ressemble our cousins the chimpanzees instead.


----the other stuff I'd written----
Ah, I see you've taken Yuri's side
Natsuki will be mad
You won't get any cupcakes

Lol sorry. Here's my opinion on each of the poems shown instead

Sleep
It's not very deep. Although, I would add that, whether it is intentional or not, it feels a bit dark to have the childish voice of the speaker ('I like sleep, sleep is neat' sounds like something a child would say) and the fact that that same speaker seems to want to avoid life. The tone is kinda stuck in between innocence and darkness, sort of.
Other than that though, there's not much more to it that I can see, which makes it...a tad boring? It wouldn't stay on my mind very long, that's for sure. But at least it's not painful to read

Recess
Again, not a poem that would keep me up at life, but the way it devolves into a rant about societal pressures and their consequences I find amusing. I like the way it devolves into a mess bc it sort of mirrors the person's life going awry.
It doesn't sound all that good though. The rhythm and sounds aren't really pleasant to the ear, and that's a shame.

advices [insert number]
Nice idea. Content not interesting to me + can't relate tbh - I feel like the things she addresses are so commonly thrown around that at this point they kinda come off as superficial. So even if some people do need to hear it, it does feel kinda useless to me to be including it here tbh (kinda like most inspirational quotes - although some are worded really well or even funny, but that's not the majority).

Sticks
I like this one. I don't mind the change in rhyme scheme, personally. It's not very deep, but the sheer volume of insults she's able to come up with towards herself, and the detail that she wouldn't talk that way to anyone else to me really hit home regarding the fact that so many people hold themselves to a standard they wouldn't hold others to, and that pointing that out can really help people who beat themselves up. It's so easy to not notice you're doing it, so I think the surprise at the end of the poem is very warranted, and is not her tricking the reader, but her realizing what she's doing to herself.

Happy
Dull. Too literal.
The topic is interesting, but it's something one could write an entire poem to explore. This poem is a mere statement with no impact - at least that's the way I feel about it.

Cut
I like the formatting and rhyme, and the comedic timing is good--but it's too insensitive, agreed. And I don't even have an issue with self-harm (not that I've noticed anyway), and even I can tell. I assume the intention was to joke about how cutting your own hair or even just getting a haircut in general can feel unnecessarily daunting, but this was really not the right thing to compare it to.

Overall - fun to read on the internet, but not something I'd pay for.
Edit: I'd like to add that it's great she's writing these, and perhaps they include personal references that only she can get - but if so, then don't make others pay for it. It doesn't matter how much something means to you - if people have to pay for it, they need to be able to get something out of it.
I've seen a lot worse when it comes to published poetry, and I don't even read that much poetry, but just because something has been done before is really no excuse for doing it yourself.

When I think of fun silly poems...I think of Shel Silverstine. He is still my standard for silly and fun poetry.

I personnally like the poem CUT even though i don't like the ending. I like how the reflection is the reasonable one, as it is at the same time a version of her, but is also inanimated and invoques a sort of angelic or mysterious... I don't know exactly the word to describe it, english is not my first language... Anyways i think it has some potential but was ruined by the quite shallow and meaningless ending.

Forgive my ignorance, but what is the technical word I've heard you use to describe IG poetry that sounds like "enhantment"? I've tried looking up synonyms for free verse but can't find it, and I rarely find new words so it's eating at me to find out this one!

I thought it wasn’t gonna be great. Then u read the first one… and it was just… bad. Sounds way to similar to my 6th grade poetry unit work.

these things have a place. on an instagram or tumblr page. for that, they're not bad. for money tho...

I just finished writing this. My first poem of 2023, inspired by reading of her 2nd book

Ode to One Gabby Hanna

Instaode
to an Instapoet,
cynic stained eyes,
anger angsted
twenty something wisdom
seen in brevity of syllables,
too few words,
and unfinished thoughts
posed as poems
locked in an opposite
state of Nat King Cole,
so forgettable
so forgettable
so forgettable.

James E. Roethlein copyright 2023

I know I'm late but as soon as you pulled our Carol Ann Duffy I was like "oh this is gonna be good"

For some reason I kinda love Advice 14, or at least there's the seed of something I'd love in it

Omg. I wish Gabbie wasn’t Gabbie and actually took the time to listen to your critiques because it really could’ve helped her smh

I know this is off topic but.... my goodness is she beautiful like wow she is not hard on the eyes at all lmao 😍

All the poems seem like they were written by a 13-year-old in an English class. No depth, no complexity. Just the bare minimum that rhymes.

A lot of the time Gabbie’s poetry feels more like a diary entry to me. If, like Rachel suggested, she added technique or expanded on her ideas or tried to reconfigure things a little bit, I think it would add the dimension that makes it feel more poetic as opposed to her just getting the basic aspects of her feelings and thoughts onto a page.

Brevity is the soul of wit.

I just started the video but "adultolescence" is the dumbest "word" ever. There's already a word that means the process of becoming an adult. It's "adolescence" which she seems familiar with already, but not the definition apparently?

Trigger Warning - Brief mention of self harm

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While I might not be the best poet out there, (i normally just do free verse because rules for certain types of poems confuse me) but gabbie hanna's poetry is something else. it just feels like a middle schooler trying to be edgy or it straight up just tells you how she feels. like how you mentioned show not tell, it's very important. the people who read your poetry aren't stupid and it's much more fun to read when you have to look for the hidden meaning or come up with your own conclusions considering everybody interprets things differently.

Also, the hair cut poem disguised as self harm until the very end is awful. I'm autistic and got brutally bullied in middle school. At thirteen I was diagnosed with depression which is often linked to autism and I used to bite myself, hit myself, pull out my hair, cut my skin with plastic (i never hurt myself with razors because blood makes me nauseous.) I couldn't get myself to go to school because I was afraid of who was going to bully me next. So I struggled with it a lot and it's still something I struggle with on a daily basis. And with recent events in my life, I haven't been doing the best recently. But using imagery that sounds like self harm feels like such a slap in the face. Cutting your hair isn't the same as self harm. (yes, I know a sign of depression is changing something about your appearance suddenly) And her wording it that way is upsetting.

I love her passion when she's speaking about poetry❤️

Oh my god my comparative literature brain is living for this analysis

Love your explanation as to why poetry is so meaningful. That’s how i feel about films and television.

An example of how short and simple poetry can be amazing:
This is a poem by Italian poet Giuseppe Ungaretti. He wrote it as a soldier during WW1.
It is titled 'Soldiers':
'We are
Autumnal
On the trees,
As the leaves'.

Obviously a translation won't render it the justice it deserves but it goes to show how good simple poetry can be. I think this poem has such powerful imagery, comparing soldiers and their precarious situation to autumn leaves who are at risk of falling at any second. 9 words, 4 lines, yet so well thought out and powerful.

I've always found it confusing when it comes to poems. I wish I know what good Poems are...

The fact she gets so mad at people just giving her some criticism like she just needs to calm down 😰