Love: A Video Essay

An interesting lesson. I'm in a relationship, and yet I can't say I've ever felt "love" as most people describe it.
It's not them, it's me - I don't think I feel emotions the same way as others do.
And yet - putting it into words like this helps me to realise that I do love this person. Even if I'll never "feel" in love like a normal person will, I know this is the closest I can possibly manage. It's good enough for both of us. Thank you for helping clarify that.

My gf is only an hour away for 10 days and this made me call her at 3 am to FaceTime eachothers cats. For me that's everything and true love.

We'd be friends i think. Youre alright leadhead

This channel is so gay now

Damn this dude trooned the f out haha remember when this channel was about video games

Dang. This really made me think a lot about some past relationships, and about my current one.

its interesting hearing other perceptions of how to approach love

while I’ve never consciously thought about confidence and ego in the beginning stages, hearing another perspective gives light to the different implications of how a relationship even develops

ive always seen love like a plant, but not like a plant that you take care of—its when you and your partner are the plant together, growing and changing and having seasons of difference, and to me that early interpretation of the confidence this video discusses was more of the almost perverse notion that I could be the sun and the plant, that i was this great opportunity

I think learning to reflect on our perceptions of love, good and bad, helps us find a way to truly be our own suns rather than be stuck in the idealistic mindset of growth and connection

thats fucked up no one should be allowed to be happier than me

Thank you for this video. Your voice, your words and your message are all beautiful

what happened to this channel?

Pog

Just two minutes in and all of the anecdotes about love are hitting so close to home. It's giving me chills 😊

Like some comments I'm seeing here I too am going through my first break up, long distance for two years , due to my inability to make her feel worth despite trying my damndest to make sure she was, but eventually it sizzling out. It really hurts when all you've heard is I love you for two years straight to getting barely any response for hours at a time. We've agreed to stay as friends but I'm not even sure if that will work out. The important thing that I am learning is sometimes although it hurts to give them up for some time it is important to take a step back and re-analyze things. Where did I start doing more harm than good? What led to the eventual downfall. Yes there is blame to take amidst all the frustrations and sadness that comes out of it but flying solo again does help you truly realize how much you miss the good times. Thank you Penelope for such an amazing video during a tumultuous time filled with multiple emotions it helps ground me in reality and focus on getting my stride back.

This video means so much to me. To get personal for a second, I went through my first breakup last month, and it opened my eyes to the flaws in me that I had never noticed until I started dating. Since then, I’ve started to reflect on how I had neglected and hurt both my ex as well as myself. That there were parts of me, both positive and negative, that I have left suppressed for years due to my childhood trauma. There’s a lot I still need to unpack about myself and to properly grow from (gonna go to therapy soon once I move out of my home state), but the perspective of you and those shared in the comments on the topic of love have helped me tremendously in making sense of it all. Thank you Penelope and everyone else here who’s opened up about this!

I've been watching since before she came out as trans. Videos are still top notch, maybe even better.

great work as always, lead

The bracelets sound so cute!

I'm aromatic and never really understood the importance of love. So thank you for giving me insight on what's it's like

your personal videos are amazing and always make me think about my life and feel like its okay that im messy. thank you

Thank you ❤

I subscribed to this channel for the musings on video games, I stay for the musings on life, lose and love. You are a treasure!

MY GF'S NAME IS ALSO CHARLOTTE OMG!!!!!!!!

unrelated but, your voice is good

I'm 29. I don't think I ever really understood love until I met my current girlfriend, even though I thought I knew before. The opening-ish bit about beautiful things arising from painful times rang so true for me, and it never had in the past. I feel like we make each other better no matter how we interact. I daydream about what engagement rings she would like, when I thought I never wanted to get married. I'm going to marry her.

All I’ve ever wanted was someone to grow with.

This world is so big that there’s so much new things to see and learn, to be able unravel it with someone must be truly special.

I don't think I should watch this video yet

Those bracelets are amazing ❤

Anyways......thanks for the awesome video. Never been in a relationship but I always hear everyone saying love is amazing.
I guess I have to experience it to find out.

for the algo <3

Good thing I'll never have to struggle with these kinds of things. IM UGLY AND IM PROUD! LMAO HA HA. HA HA. ha ah ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh cries

We at aro corp are thankful for the data you have provided to the "what is love" database

something i've come to realize over the years is that love is the same. it's the one thing i think is actually universal to all of us. i'm aromantic, but i did date people when i was a teenager. i desperately craved unconditional love from Anyone, and anyone who showed affection to me i got a crush on, and would sometimes fall in love with. but i realize looking back that the problem was that we (because i didn't know being aromantic was a thing someone could be) expected the love to be... some type of Quality. whatever that meant. i never fell out of love with anyone, i would just lose that driving, feverish feeling of needing to connect with them once i had. but to them, i guess, it probably felt like i had become cold. but they did fall out of love with me, and i could see that pain in them, and i didn't know what to do about it. the last person i had a romantic relationship with, i ended it for her sake because i could see that whatever it was she needed as a person who does feel romantic love, i couldn't give. at the time i just thought i was broken.
there have been people in my live who also craved unconditional love, and i was always there to give it. but then would come bitterness and resentment for not being "Enough" (whatever that was). i have always loved people deeply. i can't imagine what it is i'm missing. but the common thread was, i was missing something. i guess, maybe, i loved them like a friend, and even though they wouldn't be able to pinpoint that exactly and put it into words, they probably felt that and knew. and that wasn't enough. i think what they wanted was singular devotion and maybe to feel more special than "just" a friend. i don't know.
i have been living with my best friend for almost 10 years, though, and our relationship is exactly like what you described. you talk about your feelings, and when someone is doing something that bothers you, you communicate. we've worked through countless rough patches. shit that would instantly end a tenuous relationship, we've repaired and worked through. i've never loved anyone like i love my best friend. the only person who comes close is my own mother. i love him like a sibling, like someone i grew up with (and i kind of did since we've known each other since we were 18, and we're now 32), and i can't imagine my life without him in it. he wanted to have children (past tense because health things have happened which now make it very hard), which is something i had Never wanted until i thought about helping raise his. i would be like a third parent. those would be my children as well.
and yes, his partners do know about our relationship. he tells them he and i are a package deal before they ever get involved. i've also lived with one of his partners for the same amount of time i've lived with him, since we all moved in together at the same time, and they're also a very dear friend to me who i love.
people have always looked at us and said, it doesn't make sense the way you two are. and you're seriously not in a romantic relationship? the answer is no! we never have been! the thought of getting sexual with him is like the thought of getting sexual with one of my blood siblings - it's super offputting and Wrong to me. but, what actually is the difference between what he and i share and what "soul mates" seem to be? i think of him as mine. i think of him when i see those corny stories that are like "i would find you in every universe." because love is the same. at the end of the day, when you brush away the finer intricacies, at the core, it's the same.

thanks leadhead you made me have a full on breakdown

>Valentine's day
>Puppy collar
she just like me

watching this a lil bit after the first big breakup of your life when you're just starting to feel ready to date again hits DIFFERENT. all of this is stuff I needed to hear

👍

love is such a complex emotion that theres an entire series of rpg games about it.

With the added context that his "girlfriend" is a literal 6 foot tall 300lb golem this video turns into one of the greatest comedies since Mel Brooks

Hey remember when this channel was video games

god I'm so fucking happy for you.
This was such a beautiful watch, as someone that really adores the sort of "mundane" side of love and romantic relationships, hearing about your experiences felt effervescing , revitalizing

Awesome video!!

omgggg my wife and I bought a pair of those bond touch bracelets, we were so excited ab them!!!! and definitely shouldn't have been spending the money - but we love each other so so so much. <3 :3 ..... meeting her was like meeting someone who finally spoke the same language as I did after spending my whole life lost in an alien world - we were moving in with each other that week too. I haven't watched the whole video yet, but I relate to your experiences of discovering love so far..... the humility thing, and the weird rough spots u never thought you could cause or be a part of, the insecurities, growing together with someone, and most of all just... the love. ugh.... this never gets easier..... but.... uhhh...... she died, my wife, unexpectedly...... 6 months ago.... while I was asleep....... I was also going to spend my life with her, I knew it, we knew it.... we talked ab it all the time....... yah.... idk. I just wanted to share the bracelet thing...... I miss love.....

Havent even watched the video yet and ive gotta say, I discovered your channel YEARS ago with gaming videos and I remember when you first posted your coming out video. I actually stopped watching around that time for no real reason, sometimes things just come and go in waves, but the ABSOLUTE PROGRESS of your voice training makes me wish I kept up with it!

Love the vid

We're strangers, but may I disabuse you of this notion that you might not be ready to talk about a thing like love? I know that following love is basically the basis of the art that is your channel, and my taste says "you're pretty good." *Ocelot finger-guns*

But if I could rant at it via an angle approaching math for a second:

Folk do not seem to ever love the same love.

Not in the anti-poly way, but in the "this member of the set is distinct from that member of the set" way.

Friends, family, neighbors, legendary patriots who get microwaved and those who get forgotten in the churn of the world necessary to make all that possible: they're all different. Because that difference is arbitrary, some of it could live in how they love or what that means, as much as anywhere else about them.

So because of that, the process of working out intimacy--both in how it can be explored and how it can be mirrored--must necessarily converge on encountering these differences and reflecting them, as well as experiencing being encountered and meeting others' reflections of one's own self.

And all of that changes us--oneself and those others--so we cheesily cannot love the same love twice, blah blah blah change blah blah blah time blah blah.

Because of that, no point can exist that is absolutely better than any other for starting to share one's meditations on love with the world to some embarassing degree or other. Indeed, I don't see how any of us ever stops doing that nor ever has the option to stop; death itself is consumed the way love consumes us even as we are consumed by both and born of them and borne upon them through our existence.


So basically who the hell do you think you are, that you could possibly stop being a loudmouthed idiot or whatever you were worried about in talking about love or things as big as it; it's not like any of us get to say less by some silence than we must do with any other part or form of speech. Ya know? (Said with all love and encouragement as a total rando on the Internet. And maybe an imaginary Kamina/Simon gif inserted here, that may or may not be unrelated.)

The point--of both my comment and your work--seems to be that you care enough to care, and that is necessarily enough.

Not that I got on this rant because I also need to hear it myself or anything. <.< >.>

That's so gay

Baby dont hurt me, no more

no one ever told me this about love before.

God this made me question my current relationship. But in a good way

What is the bracelet you got ?