Respond DON'T React with a Narcissist! Learn how to disarm a TOXIC Person

This is what we need to learn at school.

I am so grateful to have run across this video. I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse and a domestic abuse survivor as well. Thank you for giving me the tools I need to survive and ultimately thrive after the aftermath.

Very helpful thank u for this video .understanding what ur dealing with gives a lot of relief in my case

Thank you Coach Lyn. Some great tips here 😊

Narcissists can't hide who they are when the attention is taken away from them by a seriously injury person who requires a lot of care. Care that puts the spotlight on the injured person rather than the narcissist. That has been my reality for the past 8 years after a near death accident that, due to my Traumatic Brain Injury, I am very limited to what I can do. I had to relearn how to walk, talk, remember who I was as well as be with more than one person at a time.

All of these challenges were a struggle but the hardest was being mistreated by my adult step daughter who my husband (her father), her husband and children have always pandered to. This all has been a wonderful lesson to me. I have learned that "People will let you down, but God never will." God has been with me throughout all the challenges of my recovery and navigating around her. Sadly she is controlled by her need to dominate others. That must be exhausting and I pray that God brings her peace and inner joy.

Thank you for this wonderful bit of wisdom and God Bless you. Keep shining your radiant light that touches so many. 🙏

Get to the point

Thank you, I really needed to hear this, there are ways to talk to peeps, and I really need to hear this and believe in this 💯, ❤❤❤❤ your awesome 😎

Doesn’t it feel like having to literally move mountains having to deal with a narcissist ? Everything is sooo difficult, painful and heart wrenching with these pathetic monsters , they do not feel you ever😮

Thank you for this video!

Thank you Stephanie

This is extremely useful. Thank you this is a sign of god telling me what to do. Ima save it in a playlist.

These people act like fairy nice lala land people in front of the audience they want to believe they're actually like that, but I don't think that works with me so they are always looking to do things to me thinking I wouldn't know who is doing this or saying or harboring negativity towards me secretly. 😂

Your explanation too long n boring. You should straight away give points

They know what they are doing to you. You dont need to explain it to them.

Most women should know that men are using you for your feminine presence/company/money/brain/attention bc they're lonely/horny/lacking resources and that GETTING into a relationship implies TAKING on RISK from dealing with that person's personality /needs and the inevitable conflict. And then all that drains your life force and time.

If women realized HOW valuable they are to men , and by feeding themselves to these wolves, they are risking their lives for men's thirst, they would recognize they should really de-center themselves from men.

It ain't worth it. Learn to be single and focus on YOURSELF. Be wise and be the one on top. If you're going to be investing yourself in a relationship, make sure your ROI is greater than the energy you put in. Common sense!

Thank u,but some selfish and shameless people always pretend to be nice people,even we want to keep distance,always keep annoying us.They don’t care boundaries.😤

The information is good although the discussion is too long to get to the crux of the information. Too repetitive of the same statements

Absolutely right about react of problems. Thats was my problem. Thanks

All good advice if you only have to see that Narcissist person once in awhile. But if you have to see them daily, this strategy is not going to work. You will become a zombie. The only way to handle a Narcissist to cut contact down or off completely. It is not just about hurt, it is more about the Narcissist trying to control you. So it's not just about taking it personally but it's about literally protecting your life.

The hardest part is mastering the physical symptoms. I am aware of the theory, but the fight-or-flight sensations still kick in, especially from years of trauma. However, reframing it as dealing with a child as said in the video is helpful advice. Another example would be seeing the narcissist as a sick person, or someone delusional. The insults aren't taken as seriously coming from an irrational, unreliable source.

Choosing to not engage is a very powerful move as well. Use it to demand respect by only responding when treated as an equal. Cut them out of your life entirely if possible, with no remorse. Unfortunately, there doesnt seem to be any way to verbally cudgel these types into submission besides having strong boundaries, and the willingness to enforce them without bending in the slightest. In other words, having standards.

Thank you for this video and reminder - it's hard to do sometimes, but necessary for mental well-being.

Imagine a mother being like this towards their child raises hand at having to receive this and still has to learn how to deflect their own mother

My brother threatens my life & I’m on oxygen I literally have a death sentence from my diagnosis he also threatens and has run up on my girlfriend, so I feel like I have to file a restraining order

All truth here. This is what saved me. Just walk away and don’t engage in arguments.

THANK YOU 🙏 And thank you eternally for what guided me to this video, and to you. What an amazing resource, and the hope you’ve given me in this 15 minutes is so priceless, and I am so incredibly grateful. The reinforcement I got for the things I’ve been doing and saying lately (past like 6 months, out of the 20 year relationship with this man/father of my children/never married) that feel so scary, but so right. It makes him 1000 times more mean and mad when I calmly say something like “I’m not having this conversation while you’re yelling” etc,, but I KNOW in every part of me that it is the right thing to say. Not to cry (like I did for first ten years) not to fight back (like I do for the next 5+ years) and not to pretend it’s not happening and just to stay away from him in every way possible (which was the past couple years, that ultimately led to me seeing that he’s NEVER going to change no matter how I act or react, he has only gotten WAY MORE, exponentially more, mean and attacking what hurts me the most, my mothering of our kids), but that it is the thing that throws him off the most, too- me calmly saying “I know the truth, I know my worth, and I will not allow you or anyone to ever disrespect me like this ever again”.
It’s just the beginning and it’s way more scary than it’s ever been,,, but I finally feel a shift and some hope that I can GET OUT of this and get my happiness (which includes getting my kids’ peace, security, and happiness back most importantly) and life back.
Thank you for sharing your videos and helping people like me 🙏

Good stuff!

Thank you so much for your videos. They are so helpful. 😊

I've had narcisstic 'friends' and coworkers who trigger me through gaslighting and love bombing. I've left toxic relationships. I'm currently in therapy learning confidence and how to set boundaries. I left these 3 other relationships and am keeping distance from the 4th as we are coworkers, I don't want to leave my current job because of them.

Leaving the situation doesn’t work for me. I got followed or blocked. I had to either fight or stay in the humiliation until he was done….miserable. I fight my way out until I made my mind up to leave the relationship.

My husband is a narcissistic I’m stronger now and wiser he’s trying to win me back but it’s too late I realized nothing will ever changed him so I decided that it’s me who need to change not to go back anymore It’s really hard to handle a narcissist behavior and the pain I’ve been through comes worst to worst and now all I want is to be happy and have my peace of mind thanks for this video

I’m going through a narcissist person right now he took advantage of me he told me to f myself he called me a wuss dipshit bitch he played the victim card he emotionally abused me I’m having anxiety attacks and I’m very scared of him and he has bruised me he is a alcoholic and drug dealer I’m very scared of this person that I’m dealing with a lot of emotions and and so drained of his negative energy I can’t deal with this anymore he was a my friend but now he’s not my friend anymore he keeps harassing me I called the police but they didn’t arrest him they only did reports so I’m stuck with this situation. I almost got evicted own apartment because he forced me to visit in my apartment.

you are starting to talk a lot of Nonesense like Wenzes

I actually looked for this message and found it. Thank you for making it!

I have focused on myself for two years and the bullying hasn't stopped. So I decided to leave all my anger with her and walk away from the situation. The accusations were ridiculous, but I will not hold back my anger towards that person. I give an F on what people think of me now. They are my PAST!

Can you do a version of how to handle this behavior when it cones over email?

I tried walking away from a person who was yelling at me, I left the situation with an ok. The person called me 3 hours later saying I was being disrespectful. But I walked away from someone who was pushing my buttons.

thank you for this video

i just walked away from an argument before...

There is no winning w a narcissist even if u “win.” If u stay ur losing ur mental health u have to leave a narcissist. Always.

What if you come across someone after a narcissistic relationship who is not narcissistic but is still hurting you. And you feel it is coming from a place because they do not understand something. Do you handle it the same way? Do i still approach it in terms of parenting myself and walking away when a conversation is not good for me? Knowing no matter where the words are coming from that i still need to approach it in the same way.

You can’t walk away, at least immediately, from narcissists at work. So, learn to handle them.

A very helpful video.

You’re right, giving yourself time and space before responding to a situation, if circumstances allow, helps you not to be easily riled. The problem is that a lack self-confidence may make you think that if you don’t react immediately when you’re emotionally charged, you’ll never find, within yourself, the motivation to respond later when things calm down? Based on past experiences, you believe that you need an external critical situation in order to feel energized and say and do the things that need to be said and done. How do you go around that problem?

im making a plan to escape from one

Im an introvert so its kinda easy for me not to react and keep my mouth shut. Even if someone says hurtful things i can turn on the ignore mode button. Process things silently and Its good to just divert the conversation to not to offend a friend too...

If she says she’s working on it is it wise to stay while they work on it??

Your model of assessing why people hurt others is outdated. There are evil people who hurt because they want to and like it. See the work by George Simon..this is stated many times

When I walk away, I am accused of being emotionally unavailable. Any advice?

Very well said! Thank you . I just have to practise it more. I start to recognize the “ symptoms” and try to leave the conversation ,sometimes they keep on talking while I say I have to go now. I have not hung up on them yet even when I warn them “ I have to go now . “ I guess that is next and just say sorry talk to you another time .