Re-Upload: Enneagram The High Low Side Of Type 8

Great insights and content. Keep it up!

I am an 9 w 8, and so much of what you said, I can relate to, and honestly my wing 8 only comes out if their is an injustice or a misunderstanding or something that would cause damage to ourselves or others, and in a family or organization, people often throw the 9 in to help solve problems and reach for understanding, or sometimes the, 9 throw themselves in, because they realize that this misunderstanding or problem will lead to the dominos effect...

As the 9w8 gets older, we get a little smarter and wiser, and we learn how to protect ourselves, when we are helping in difficult, high intensity situations, and we develop better judgment on if we should get involved or not , we don’t let people push us consciously or unconsciously... we learn to protect ourselves first... thank you so much for making these video, I have learned so much, and I am able to better help my family and friends, as I learn more and more everyday...

Well done!

Wow nice video thanks for sharing.

Beautiful video, thanks for your advices ;)

I have 4 with 8 in my tritype I’m an actual terminator lmfaoo. Ion think I had to grow up fast tho

forreal I be so domering when I’m treated I would try to break out and get in my power. I would not allow any kind of power other person can have over me so I overpower this person

I become very generous when I’m healthy and needing to help and give 😹

everything used to feel like a threat 😰

"Dont listen to this thinking wow how terrible we are!"
Me actually thinking proudly " I know I am fuc*ing powerful"

I’m the only real 8 here, suck it all y’all!


😂 start something

I totally loved this. My son is an 8 and I'm a 5. You hit the nail on the head.

I think my seven cabin is the fun zone of the house where we got the TV and kitchen and couches for fun and relaxation, My two house is the connecting house in back that I go to once in a while like for payday and parties to celebrate, The five house is my study room with all my books and notes where I end up spending probably most of my time (for better or worse), and the nine? My nine cabin is empty. It's like the old rusty shack in the corner of the backyard that has spiders and cobwebs in it that no one ever goes in.

100% true. Wow i am even shocked!

Why can't I choose in advance? I am able only to react. I am trying, but this hippy dippy bullshit is hard.

Keep your bible words to yourself. Meek. Lust. Stick to modern ways of thinking.

This shit so helpful

My immediate reaction to people touching my things is fury. I do however desire to not be a massive hypocrite so I try to be as forgiving as possible with people I like touching my things.
If I don't like you, don't touch any of my stuff with anything you don't wanna lose. :)

This really helped me trusting myself as an eight! Graditud and love ;-)

8w9 here. If they talk , they get anything 100% guarantee . If they don't, well i'm gonna be sorry for it after they talk.

For so many years I was an unhealthy 8. A fortress! Because of my addiction of 25 years. Isolation. Solitude. I’m just now learning 5 weeks into my sobriety that I love my healthy 8!! I love visiting the outhouse from time to time but I will not live or spend the night there anymore Thank you so much for this godly insight. I’m so excited to see what’s next for me and those I love ❤️

As a 9w1 (also INFP) daughter of an 8 (ISTJ), being inside of the fort isn't that easy either. I always feel like my mom would do anything for me and at the same time it's like I don't even belong to this fort....

Great info presented in an interesting manner.

Can a 8w7 SP in a bad space or underdeveloped come off as arrogant, be boastful, selfish, self-centered, really only have time for who can benefit them? Don't associate with others who they feel are beneath them or not in a position of power or who are highly-esteemed by others that can be used as an instrument to get them even further above others?

Surely how the 8 acts depends on how they were brought up. If we are taught to respect other people’s property and rights in childhood, that should be normal. unfortunately as an old person, I see an upcoming society of entitled wimpy snowflakes, or is that me being a harsh 8?

Just listened for the second time and this time I took notes. I've only recently started learning about the Enneagram, and I have found it so helpful in understanding my husband of 25 years, who is very, very 8. I've seen the worst and the best of him and every point you made about 8s applies to him. It has been like finally taking the back of the watch off and seeing all the gears move. I am so much more appreciative of his strengths, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and motivations. I feel like I understand more of the why behind his actions. By the way, I had a lot of trouble figuring out his type at first. Tests were not helpful at all. He was testing as 1 and 5 equally. I'm a 1 so I knew that wasn't right! Just reading the descriptions, I thought he was a 6 because he is so fiercely loyal, prone to anxiety, and full of contradictions. Listening to this made me realize that he is an 8 under stress. The big tip-off for me in deciding between 8 and 6 was the anger vs. fear piece. Hope this is helpful to someone.

Is it possible that women 8 feels her partly an male because she is so independet en strong?

If I'm swearing, I'm usually in pain and swearing helps alleviate that pain.

I’ve always typed as either 8 or 5. Every test I took I was always one or the either. Tritype is 854. Took me a while to understand that an unhealthy 8 becomes essentially a five lmao makes sense now

in manchen Momenten wünsche ich mir lauthals wie Peter Ustinov als Nero "einen einzigen Hals für die Menge" ..(an Idioten, die es meiner Meinung nach gibt) 😇
oder ich antworte schonmal mit einem Zitat aus dem BluesBrothers Film ,Szene in der Sauna: " Der liebe Gott und ich,wir sind uns einig,dass..."
Grüsse von einer deutschen weiblichen 8)

I’m an 8, feels so good not be alone, I assumed i was broken. I hope we all get what we need. THANK YOU!

Best enne 8 video on highs and lows!

Thank you for your channel It is helping me, tremendously!

wow im grateful for this video thank you

OMG I laughed so much about how you described me - we are so harsh on others as well as ourselves. I am the picture of an 8 lol. Thank you

Im an 8w7. If I feel like my emotionally self is in danger I will blunty say "Bye" because I don't want the other person to decide on the outcome of the argument

OMG. I’d like to have a “Pause” button like the Staples brand “that was easy” button! As an 8, I can attest to how hard it is to pause…. Our natural drive is green light or red light. We need the yellow light! Thank you Tom Lahue for bringing kindness to this and all your type discussions.🙏🙏

I thought with were empaths

Hey imma 8 i really need some help mentally i really related to this im currently 15 and ive been through so much childhood trauma to much to explain but more then most adults been through i know and im currently in type 5 i used to be so exited not worried leader now im to calm stuck peaceful/stressed and my adopted parents always ask me how u doin etc i always respond with “i dont know” i just feel like im to deep and stuck in 5 and i wanna get out so bad but im so stressed and everything like im literally trying not to cry typing this ( id appreciate any help or tips) pls help me

8s, how do you cope with situations when your close person smokes a lot and eats only sweets? Until I knew about enneagram I was very directed because I can't sleep when I know that my loved one is spoiling their life and I literally couldn't relax until I "helped" them. Okay, telling them to do 30 berpis everytime I smelled Sigarettes was too much (too 8), I got it, I can learn on my mistakes. But how to fall asleep knowing that everything is bad? Sometimes I want to isolate myself somewhere in a desert to rest from people's pain and problems and victim behavior, but I couldn't get a vacation so I feel very anxious right now and I need an advice how to forget about problems which can't be solved right now?

I tested as an 8 but this doesn’t sound like me.

H.O.L.Y SH** .
this is me to a terrifying 😳 tee ! 😳
Speech 💬 less !


Thank You!♡
New Subscriber

PAUSE ⏸️

This is so awesome to come across I was looking up information on a few things people have been recently asking if I have ever gotten diagnosed with. Idk if it was rude but it really opened my eyes and I was thankful more than anything thinking I had extreme OCD and just always on the go couldn’t help myself than bad days wouldn’t want to even get out of bed or see anyone at all. The test says I am a 8 but I tend to always borrow from 7 and 9. I never thought to talk to a doctor about it as I was so used to just being how I am. It wasn’t until I started a new job after 13 years at one place with people who knew me how I was and my up and downs silent days and super happy ones. This new job I have been asked 4x in a matter of almost 2 months of being there. I am now researching the brain types and I hope to be able to finally get the correct help to live and feel normal life and not always feel how I do now as it is a blessing but a curse. Thank you! It is nice to see so many others commenting knowing I am not alone I felt so alone.

Thought I was a 3 because I was the hero child in a dysfunctional family first born this is who I truly am so sad we don’t even know ourselves

Amazing 🎉thank you ❤

A Few things. First of all swearing , Communication intensity is why we tend to lean into it. As we do all intense things lol. We also are often loud or assertive in tone (and usually unaware ) it’s just intensity. Not this intended assault. I have a problem with the interpretation of bad intent into the 8, from people who view or experience 8s a certain way.

This isn’t to excuse us from learning how we’re perceived and why, but it’s endlessly annoying that people project their feelings into our intent all day every day lol. No one is INTENDING to assault you all with our every word and move … even just existing silently we’re apparently assaulting everyone 😂 so. Ok we should be open to learn and understand how blind we are naturally to our impact wxternally on others absolutely. But I disagree with this idea that we’re basically hypocrites 😂 I genuinely think we’re usually just ENTIRELY UNAWARE until we learn a thing. And they’re usually things (esp North American Caucasian culture) assumed to be known by all, therefore bad intent gets laced in.

Ur example of the 8s taking peoples shit that’s not theirs for example. That was me as a child. Until I realized oh ya duh of course I’m being intrusive and not considering where their boundaries are. Once we realize we generally stop is my experience lol with well myself but my pack of us 🤣.

Like the idea of purposely going into someone’s closet to take their shirt as if it’s mine bec they’re not there is absolutely not a thing an adult 8 is gonna do 😂bro. No. But I feel like I also get what ur getting at. So help me out here but is this what ur trying to say :

How people experience us is as if we would willingly and knowingly do exactly that. Bec we are constantly unaware and unintentionally stomping on all these little or larger boundaries or others all day in every way 😂 so they feel that is again, our intent and we must clearly be aware of what we’re doing.

I think a better example (if I’m understanding you right) would be something like socially we “take up space” and are often unaware that others will not be 8s. 😂we I think until we learn otherwise , ASSUME a bit of our own nature into others. Well if someone has a problem with my taking lead they should say so. And I would listen. (Lol depend but in theory we would ). and we assume others not being forward and direct just means there is nothing being not communicated. We literally don’t realize that just not being afraid to speak up for example is enough to scare many people out of speaking up at all. So we can learn to purposely put energy into learning what we can do little things to make it more comfortable for diff kinds of people to exist as equals even if they’re afraid lol. Or to ya know not accidentally scare everybody even if it is funny a bit lol 😂.

But I don’t agree that most 8s with moderate health and adult are going to purposely ignore others boundaries. I think most of us would actually weirdly respect them tbh.

I also disagree with you that we’re not really open to open honest dialogue. I think we respect and want exactly that. We’re a lot I get that now 😂but , that being a lot and intensity existing in our reactions to dialogue being opened with us , isn’t indication that we don’t want the dialogue.

We PLAY FIGHT literally as a love language 😂we’re not intending to discourage honest dialogue or calling us out or to see our own hard truths , bec we react with intensity. We just ooze intensity most of the time but it’s not INTENDED to discourage … anywhere we haven’t learned , we’re probably projecting some level of 8ness washed over all others until we eventually realize how intense we actually are for most others.

Ijs!

Oh also like caps lock when typing 😂 we do that a lot as well. (Going back to swearing). We just exist via intensity not assault pls stop with that nonsense 😂there is a difference. What others often interpret as intentional harm or assault or whatever , is actually us giving what we respect and would want given to us. SERIOSULY. People jsut cannot believe that we prefer , exactly what we give out lol. (Assuming some moderate level of health here of course , an u healthy 8 is a different story potentially )

Oh and I also disagree that we are hypocrites about rules and laws. I think what we do is purposely ask people who are obsessed with and trying to enforce that shit mindlessly on everyone else even when it makes no sense , those kind of people we are literally going to go question and challenge and point out everywhere they don’t follow the very rules they try to force on everyone. But we care about justice. A lot. An fairness in some ways a lot too. Fairness and equality are the same thing , enforcing sameness isn’t fairness it’s just equality. 8s are more about autonomy and the right to each have that tbh. 8s are more about equity not equality if that makes sense we will try to balance things where we see imbalance 😂but ya we don’t gaf about like enforcing blanket standards on a giant system with zero regard for context and individuals.

Anywho just some thoughts. Love ur vie does and channel 😊

Also a few things I thought might help some 8s. Honestly I think a lot of us have a lot of unhealthy relationship to
Our emotions going on and I think we’re mostly
Unaware of it as well. If argue most of us could have experienced /have: audhd (both ASD and adhd co occurring), cptsd or ptsd, issues that come with emotional neglect/abuse and often were hugely parentified as kids. Sooo oldest daughters im lookin at
You 😂 (don’t worry me too) lol. so I say that to help point you in the directions of topics that might help
You to become self aware about it various issues that have you locked in our ways. Or not understanding why or how we function and therefore DISEMPOWERED MMMmm lol 😆 in how we show up for ourselves , others and in the world. Soooo. Esp if ur immersed ina. Culture that (excuse my naughty language choices but) s the d of indirectness, mind reading and codependency as kings , then learn the difference between not agreeing that we should opt to have differnt values and priorities around communication and mature adult conduct , and actually the line at which we are unintentionally genuinely overstepping peoples boundaries or causing harm even if we wouldn’t mean to. I think of 8s as like ur favourite pet tiger. Even if he loves you he is unaware he is a tiger and will accidentally crush all his little kitty friends and family until
He learns like this guys says , ur actual size ans strength relative to others bec i think we don’t realize others don’t naturally have that option to use in the same way typically so we expect them to be tigers and act like it’s not our problem if they’re not a lot. When in reality , most
Of them are kittens. They really are not gonna show up how we do. And just like they need to learn to stop intpreting us through their lens , we also need to stop interpreting them through ours.

Omg and his pause thing. You can’t do shit til you get a hold of the whole instant I see red anger thing. Dr Tom’s PAUSE idea is exactly the first step if you haven’t gotten reliably
Good at I thought of it as being a frozen ice statue 😂before I came here and learned the pause. Learning to recognize when ur in the “I see red” state , and if ur in that state SAY NOTHING. DO NOTHING. there are very few situations where right now is acruallt necessary so in general learn to stfu and don’t say or do anything until the red is gone. And not till
You have lied to urself and convinced urself ur coming from a reasonable state. When you think that. Wait even longer. Preferably the next day. 😂I’m not kidding. Until you get good enough at it. Just learn to not trust yourself in that state lol unless survival in on the table or sometning. 😂got it? My fellow beasties 😘🫶🏽 stfu and sit down somewhere we have a … I call it 24 hr mad. 😂 and when the fire has gone out and u don’t even care anymore. Respond then. 😂 SERIOSULY it will change the game.

Unhealthy sounds like INTP and healthy like ISFJ.