If Your D&D Character Could Talk To You

Bro is whiney- take the arm back.

~_~

I find as I've gotten older, I have been giving my characters less sad back stories. My current necromancers' parents are alive and well. He just stopped by to visit them when the party was nearby.

Poor paladin.

👍

I made a character just today. My first barbarian. He's a sea elf, has high Str, Con, & ✨ Charisma ✨. So he's a persuasive idiot who can smash things. He's friendly but I'm still working on his backstory so he still has some time before his tragic memories come flooding in. Hope he enjoys the bliss

This is why I random roll for my characters. “Don’t hate the player, hate the dice gods.”

This feels like all my characters. I think I may have overcharged them with tragedy. I mean, one of my least suffering character literally:

* was abandoned as child (he is a halfling rogue, but he was adopted by a detective and ended up as his apprentice)

* feels like if he isn't useful enough, people will leave him

* one of his friends died in a fire in a boat and couldn't do anything despite his best attempts (this one was a way to justify a player leaving, but still, it must be traumatic for the character)

* hasn't even realized that his patron, a chaotic beholder who is like a friend to him, literally dreamt him into existance, which means existencial crisis once he finds out

* has doomed the entire sword coast by unleashing Vecna

* his patron got severely injured when he saved him from Vecna's phylactery creating a black hole that almost insta-killed him (Vecna was trying to get a box to come back, so my character thought that by destroying the box, it would stop Vecna. Now he is literally in the apocalypse).

* his love interest literally tried to kill him after being searching for him for a whole year at the start of the campaign, and he had to deal the finishing blow, which meant he literally killed the man he was in love with.

And despite all that, up until this point, he remained a somewhat happy character, joking, getting into trouble (there's a reason why he used so much the phrase "This plan can end up really good, or can be the death of us") and trying to look at the bright side of things.

Removing his arm wouldn’t be building character it would be unbuilding character

This is what I've been waiting for: funny and original content. Good to see you're getting back to the basics and out of that weird lip-syncing phase.

Damm do I feel targeted.

I dunno. But to me it Sounds like if his characters could do more than talk to him..... They would.

A happy druid would be a literal tree hugger, if you know what I mean.
Sad druids are just better for us all.

Omg. The Giving of Thing.... powerful thing that no one remembers... then randomly missing an arm.... I'm feeling this.

This almost feels like that Daffy Duck cartoon where the anumator is messing with him. The player just constantly editing the character's backstory while the character is having a mental breakdown.

Ik my first character ithazao the singewalker wouldn’t haven’t any complaints considering he’s “just a shitty farm kid”. Although my second character Tider-Spoons might have something to say about having being abandoned not only by his birth parents, but his adoptive mother Za’rii the Odd, if he wasnt already finding comfort in his current party

Now I'm thinking how my characters would interact with me...

Atielli (my NG Arrakocra... WoM monk in her first game, Twilight Cleric in her second): Probably would be a little annoyed I keep throwing her into situations but happy to know I do in fact desperately want her happiness and that her being quite as depressed as she was was an accident and hopefully one day her plotline will actually get a happy resolution? ...I can at least tell her what's up with her best friend/deity of choice Bell?
note: should probably lie about Bell. Finding out she's one of millions of short lived clones made over and over to forever be an eldritch horror/star deity's host body because it loves her so much it'll never ever let her go and that all her 'burned out' selves/sisters are stored in ever expanding tanks within its insides probably wouldn't be great for her mental health

Brav (a regular old LG 'human' grave cleric, aka celestial psycopomp on vacation): ...He'd give me a hug, probably be really put out I wouldn't join him in getting drunk and then try to take me home with him to meet his adorably innocent elf boyfriend and their adorafying adopted children (one's an undead horror made of murdered kids, the other their demonic familiar turned sibling; Brav's really good at celestially corrupting evil beings into being 'good ish' brats so long as they're vaguely kid shaped) XDDD

Fernando (TN kobold Ghost Bloodhunter/Arcane Trickster): Would try to keep his cool but upon learning I made his tragic backstory happen would probably punch me in the face and storm off, which honestly is pretty fair.

DeKatt (CG tebaxi War Wizard/Twi Cleric): ...Honestly not sure. Would depend on her mood but most likely she'd forgive me in return for demanding I babysit her son and try to 'fix reality' so that her tragic backstory is significantly happier (wouldn't work but like. She'd appreciate the attempt at least). ...Oh and she'd set the fridge on fire screaming at all the cheeze in there XDDD

Gilda Rosemaiden (LE Hexblood Feywild ranger): ...Honestly she'd probably be really nice to me so long as I remained polite, agreed with everything she said and joined her in gushing over the cuteness of animals. Would very much have to remember not to eat anything she cooks though... shudders

Annette (LN adorable spider hexblade/pally): ...She'd try to hug me and I'd scream. Also I'd have to make it clear to her that while I have no issue with her eating the rodents in the house if she touches my cat I'll kill her even with my full civilian stats. Then, her being her, she'd probably adorably wander off into the wilderness to hunt, never to be seen again. sweatdrop

The seedling (NG plant monster life cleric/stars druid): They'd give me a hug, dance around trying to communicate some wisdom I am not high enough level to understand then leave in search of a nightclub to 'goblin rave' to, all while leaving glowing bugs and flowers EVERYWHERE.

Nao (LN lizardfolk Cobalt Monk): Honestly, I think she'd be more interested in the books in my house than me. Might question the nature of her reality a bit but then also would discover the internet and then I'd never get my computer back ever again XD

Fasih (CN/CE elf turned simic hybrid 'Swash Rogue/Undead Warlock/Bladesinger Wiz/WM Sorc'): Oh he'd kill me horribly no question. Like, would probably go for full on psychological torture (alternating charm and fear for max mind f%ckery) plus poison plus knives plus feeding my soul to his demonic familiar while pouring gasoline on me and lighting a match. ...Unless one of his more morally inclined friends is there in which case he'll act 'oh so nicely' while ferverantly plotting revenge for all the extra horrific backstory I put him through during which time I've got a tiny chance of befriending him enough to not horribly kill me but well. That's more likely to lead to a murder/suicide situation than me being spared but that would mean less torture probably so. Success?

Lu (NG owlin half human Lycan bloodhunter): Would STAAARE at me until I give her access to all my food and video games and then after a week or so of couch surfing and generally invading my home would punch me in the arm stating in a monotone voice "Mad at you" and then go right back to playing games again until eventually she would forgive me and we would be friends <3
my best chance of survival of any other character showing up with Fasih since he can't argue with her and unlike any others he feels that way towards, she's the only one who would genuinely object to my murder

And... Yeah <3 This was a lot of fun though I imagine my collection of space cases and 'mostly' good inclined characters makes at less risk of gruesome horrible death than some other Dnd players would be meeting theirs. Which says a lot given Fasih... sweatdrops

My Artificer is autistic and ADHD. And she always gets octracized everywhere for not having any social nuance. She always gets called "weird" and "standoffish" , and she helps her party because they were the only people to ever accept her just the way she is.

My character spawning into the world with shortmans syndrome and a lust for trinkets

Me and my backlog of 20+ PC’s:

“…it’s dark in here…we’re not getting used are we? Are we ever? How long you guys been in here? …years…. Oh god….”

yea i never understood the "kill someone important to build character" thing. it such a cheep and lazy way to do it. it also becomes a crutch cause once they do it they do it over and over and over again. its why no one takes it seriously in comic anymore cause it wont stick, it doesnt do anything for them and there will be another death next week.

I actually RP my player's their backgrounds, it help them with being more connected to their character.

"Hey, sorry you had to watch your big brother get eaten by a bear when you were a kid, and your hometown got sacked by goblins, and you had to live in the woods for a year, and you almost got eaten by cannibals... But if you didnt you probably wouldnt have become a mercenary and wouldnt have gotten all those cool scars and chiseled abs, so look on the bright side!"

WHHYYY!!!!!
builds character?
classic calvin and hobbs right there

Good thing you hadn't made him a tiefling as the paladin starts screaming about when he had horns and a tail.

This is the hardest I ever laughed

Meanwhile me with my characters
Character: "Hold on a second who the helll am I?"
Me: "you're uh. Jim."
Character: "Jim? Where am I from? Who are my parents? What was I doing before this? Who am I?"
Me: "That's uh. That's a good question."

"He's programmed with the most tragic backstory ever. The one day he didn't make a prayer to his God. His wedding day. A Necromancer he once killed came back as a Lich and killed his wife and dog."

I'm not a druid but I am also sad.

I think if either of my characters knew I was behind them, they would probably pound me into a pulp (they don't like gods).

Me after I kill my echo knight fighter's twin sister ✨ for flavor ✨

Actually a good writing tip I read and practiced myself, to write a piece where you yourself interview your own character.

....Did you just sneakily try to make John Wick as a Paladin?

Why did he turn green

I don't do this for dnd characters.......but I do this for other characters.


So....yeah. This skit is calling me out and I don't like it. Remove it or I'll mug ya.


/jk. Love the skit. Don't like being called out.

I actually quite enjoy telling a mini stories through my characters's backstories. I get so indepth that my dm was upset that my backstory was so long that it had dialogue. Tbf tho, i did shorten it down to a paragraph for him. But hes a human artificer that was orphaned when he was still a baby, eventually living on the streets. He learned how the world worked by observing, nad eventually learned to control it. He later got adopted by a dwarf who funded his artificer hobbies/career. His name is ven trueforge, his last name being his adopted father's last name, since he doesnt know his original last name, never having met his parents

Im so glad this isnt real. My characters traumas would give me new traumas if i were to be confronted about them. 😂

I love it when he just says "I am sad..."

A paladin could take an evil oath or be an oathbreaker so righteous is not a paladin requirement

I don't make sad characters

If you want something else than a druid but you can't live without them, Play nature cleric

That is literally Percy from critical role

"YOU NAMED ME AFTER A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER?!? " -my wizard if she met me, probably (her name is Kirby)

Does anyone know the name of this polka song

Song name?

🤣😂🤣😂🤣

I am sad 🤣😂🤣😂