Changing the game in youth sports: John O'Sullivan at TEDxBend

Our students are having issues with problem resoulution when they play soccer during recess/lunch. I'm not in agreement with soccer balls being taken away as a resolution. I believe it strips many of our students of their cultural identity. So, what more can I do to assure that our students keep youth sports, cultural responsive learning experiences, and the love of soccer? Are there any programs out there willing to donate time to a school in need so our students play the sport of soccer happily? Thank you so much for this TEDx Talk and your time.

Could someone give John a glass of water?

I didn't have any parental participation in sports growing up. My home life as a kid was pretty bad. My mom was a drug addict, and my dad was always very busy working, trying to keep things together while dealing with a wife who was ruining our lives. What little sports I managed to participate in were ruined by overly competitive coaching and, frankly, bullying not just by other kids but by the coaches. I didn't have the rec level experience, and by the time I was able to get involved in any organized sports, these assholes were treating it like they were all going pro. John is right you will remember this for the rest of your life, and I will never forgive these people for the awful treatment.

i am parent. not a corch of some sports. i played basketball until i was 18. the reason that i kept playing it are just fun. i would the benefit of playing sports is to get comunication skills , grit, mental strength. i hope my kids start playing sports.

I come from the same traditional parent origin. Thank you for the lecture. I will do my best to "I Love watching you Play"

He is using the logical fallacy called the "fallacy of affirming the consequent."

This fallacy occurs when someone assumes that if a statement is true (the antecedent), then the conclusion must also be true (the consequent). However, this assumption is not always correct, as there may be other factors that affect the relationship between the antecedent and the consequent.

For example, consider the following argument:

Premise 1: If it rains, the ground gets wet.
Premise 2: The ground is wet.
Conclusion: Therefore, it must have rained.

John I just wanted to say thank you for this video. I have been a youth basketball coach for nearly 20 years and I have shared this video with many parents.
This is a copy/paste from one parent I had shared this with. He had a teenage son that was very talented but just didn't seem into it anymore.

Hey Ron, I owe you a debt of gratitude. A few years ago, I asked for your advice about dealing with Marcus. I thought he had the talent but lacked the motivation and I was getting frustrated. You shared with me some Ted talks and other links and told me to stop offering advice to him and just tell him "it was a pleasure watching you play".

It was difficult to put in to practice. But I pulled way back and just became a support system for him. And a funny thing happened, he fell in love with the game on his own. He is playing his best ball right now and I couldn't be happier watching him play.
And now I just roll my eyes when all the parents are yelling instructions at their kids from the sidelines - as the kids are rolling their eyes back at them.

Many thanks!

J

❤

Great advice!!

This is on the money and eye opening

Very true

bad parents is over rated. these parents are the minority and get the most media attention.

This is fantastic 👍

Perhaps sports should not be made to be such a big deal. Not everyone has to find sports as fun as me or you so sometimes when a kid leaves sports we shouldnt see it as a failure of anyone. The fact 7 out of 10 leave organized sports may be okay. If you want it just fun, then dont have it in school where we say you represent your school and your name and you can get a scholarship and we lift up the athlete over the 5 star student or the student that works very hard to make a C or the student who has high moral character...all this pressure dries up fun for some. If you watch kids play on their own, you see the fun in their faces. The slogan about i love watching you play, but that should be true if the play does not have a coach or the game is not in the newspaper. The fact kids see theough that slogan because they know you could warch them on the playground or park or back yard or an intramural sport...but the facts....parents dont watch that and the kids see through that.

SO TRUE MY DAD DOES THIS 2 ME

I accidentally said that to a couple of my boys I coach guess I did okay first day thank you :,)

Bob Bigelow!

2021 nothing has changed, it has only gotten worse.

this was really good

fart
ya

Every moment matter is extraordinary book. Well done.

All kids should be sampling sports and having fun, falling in love with physical activities from a young age. Parents should be handed out pamphlets about youth sports and recommended to watch videos like this when their kids get to elementary school ahaha

This is exactly why I quit piano lessons as a kid

I really feel this cause i used to row but we had a change of leadership and the new head coach was convinced i should be competing and performing at a higher level. He kept pushing me to practice with the older girls and eventually it got to the point where i had a breakdown and quit.

I used to be 'that' parent. I began coaching my son and his basketball team when he was 7. When he was about 9 years old, I began having the "car ride home" talks with him after he had a "bad" game. I pointed out his mistakes; or I gave him the silent treatment; the worst incident was me yelling because he scored 0 points in a game, even though he played his heart out. My toxic attitude during those years absolutely destroyed his confidence.

I stopped coaching him a couple of years ago, when i realized how my attitude was making him insecure and spiteful of me. He is 13 years old now. His confidence has improved in that time, although I still see the insecurity he has which is entirely my fault. I now focus on supporting him as much as I can. Sometimes I go back into 'that' mode, but once I recognize it I immediately check myself and apologize to him.

i watched this a year ago and disagreed with John mainly because i was that parent and though my daughter could take it. Well after watching her fear of walking up to my wife and i after her soccer matches i decided we had to try a different approach, this simple " i love watching you play" has completely changed things.. (A) her stress level has drastically decreased and her passion for soccer is stronger then ever leading to (B) her play on the filed has increasingly got better! thank you for this John.

I understand what he is saying, but if he is truthful, all of those elite players he has coached we the exact kids he was saying don’t become. Those soccer players that make it to elite levels, over 95% of them are playing club soccer year round. So while I understand that parents (including myself) need to get a good handle of the situation, to be competitive, you have to compete with the others you will be measured. It’s quite the paradox. I am dealing with it with my 10 year old this very moment and his BJJ training. It’s a fine and difficult line.

Great speech and so true! He is right on! Ive said this for years!

fine

So inspiring and encouraging for some people who had dropped out thinking that sports was not for them. A lesson to the entire community of sports

I love the messages! Cool.

^_^ ^_^ ^_^

charming!

Competition is a good thing to have, but this focuses on the issue that there is too much pressure for youth to perform in their sport

uau mega bjss da kemily play

Hmm, 253,381 views and only 1k in likes sounds like many people did not agree with all of it. They did not want to give a thumbs up or down, I am one of those people. You had Interesting points I agree on some but not all of it. As your child ages there needs to be some level of accountability as they have a commitment to the team and their goals. If your child does not play competitive they have little chance of making their sports long term goals. Those are facts that your kids cannot comprehend and it is your responsibility to explain as they age.

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I hate and don't speak to my family because they forced me to play sports. Sports ruined my life

john i feel the same. ive been a youth coach since 1993. I am currently in the process of creating a nonprofit with a twist. anyways thanks for this lecture.

This takes a little while for him to get to the good part, but is very much worth watching about how to encourage them to have fun. The phrase "I loved watching you play" has made a big difference at house. Listen to the whole thing in you are able.

Boooooo this is shit. If there are parents screaming like that then it's only a few and it's not all parents at all games. I mean It's not as if loud parents have a group think and/or a cop's mindset... A child's experience is indicative of the club and how the club is managed, it's curriculum and the people chosen to train the youth in whatever the sport. For every bad parent there is 20 great ones. This video is shit. What really drives 75% of teens away is no more fun. The reason there is no more fun is because of a combination of things... Poor coaching is the number one reason why things become no more fun. The decision by the child or the forced choices of homework and family duties can impair practicing and progression. No practicing (at all) holds a child back, especially if other teammates have physically developed faster. This makes sports less fun. The less you know the worse off you'll be...
Furthermore, girls have different reasons for stopping than boys and variables are vast. But the antagonist cruel sport parent is not as common as this video commands. If there is these monster parents at every turn, again, it would be due to the lack of coaching not the parents interest

Thank you! I have always been criticized for thinking that kids should PLAY sports. Both my kids have wanted to quit sports for this very reason. I was given this video by my son's new hockey coach. My son is 10. This video brings back many moments of sadness when my son was in tears because a coach yelled at him.

Bollocks,cultural Marxism in sports.

wow revelation!

Truely inspiring! Shared it with all my Club parents and coaches.....

Cool

What a brilliant talk. Thank you John for your authenticity and commitment to kids.