Mr. Plinkett's The Star Wars Awakens Review

Say what you will about the Prequels, Natalie Portman's line, "So this is how liberty dies...With thunderous applaus.." is a damn good bit of dialogue

Man. So much for literally every then future cinimatic universe previously planned

This is how it all started I’ll bet in Ready Player One

The 1950s diner joke made me do one of those explosive "HA!" laughs in this quiet restaurant and now the staff probably thinks im crazy.

Well, he was wrong about Star Wars lasting until we are all dead and in the ground because Kathleen K. ran the franchise completely into the ground already.

They/Them, Destroyed is Legacy

Oh yeah, I remember when we all wondered what path the story of the sequel trilogy would take. When we all thought this movie was just setting the stage for all these exciting storylines... Oh well.

I can't believe Mr Plinkett made them give Star Wars to JJ Abrams.

It would have been a whole lot better if Kylo and Rey found out if the Force was an actual person place or thing. Even better: if they examined if they should use it or pay attention to it at all- especially with all the wars and false prophecies behind it.

I respect the commitment to the pizza phone sex bit

the goonies doesn't hold up?

This this style

This is better than any Star Wars film, except the 1977 one, and perhaps the 1980 one.

George lucas is a don

I miss Plinkett so very much.

Plinkett fucking HATES Dexter Jettster LOL

Watching this review is like looking at old videos of a lost loved one who succumbed a slow painful death to illness.

goonies was a good film idc

Mr Plinkett:”A black guy that doesn’t want to shoot his gun. This must really be science fiction.”

Also Mr Plinkett:”Show some respect for other cultures.”

Maybe they didn't ship Fin with Ray because of Chinese audience that are literally scared of black people. Only to try and make up for it in the sequel by having him kiss a retarded throw away character.

Additionally, adding BB8 killed the sequels for me. R2 should have been the main droid all along.

Plinkett should have wrote 'The Force Awakens' his version would be a million times better than that train wreck

"I think the napalm got 'em, or as I called it back then, birth control"

I do like how the fan edits at least remove a lot if the tonal dissodence.

It was so much worse than what he predicted.

Planet base is so incredibly dumb

Anyone who actually thinks the prequels are good, are either Lucasfilm/Disney employees, or brain dead morons.

Rich Evans is not my Plinkett , he sucks balls

I don’t get what the point of the ring theory is even supposed to be. These two trilogies are good because they reuse shit? And that’s supposed to reinforce sone vague theme about Good :tm: and Evil :tm: being cyclical? Good and evil are just made up concepts.

It’s just common storytelling tropes and a straightforward story structure. It has as much depth as fucking “it was all a dream”. If someone actually made stories like that intentionally then they’d do more to actually address it and, yknow, make a real point.

The tadpole. LMAO

I want a pizzaroll.

Pizza rolls please ❤

Well things didn’t turn out so well for Star Wars movies

Plinketts version of what the force awakens could’ve been sounds far more interesting

"Jar Jar Binks is an irritant with semi-comprehensible speech patterns" oh man oh man, if you guys made that up to mock the bizarre misuse of the English language online, you nailed it. If not and that's a direct quote, then... well... that's a shame...

I don't think I've ever seen anyone grasp at straws harder than star wars ring theorists. It's a Lot easier and more enjoyable to just say "i can like a thing without it being Good"

Nailed Hollywood and Disney. They are no longer showing any creativity. I'm watching as the writer strike is going. IMHO they haven't wrote much in years, just cut and pasted. Playing it safe with copied stories and woke themes has killed entertainment. Last 2 movies I even bothered to watch was 007, and the new top gun. Top gun realy messed up with penny as the person playing her was 6 when the first one came out and Mav already had an affair with the Admiral's kindergarden aged daughter?

I agree that the OT is objectively better than the prequels. But the hate you give them is frankly unjust. The overarching story is compelling and timeless, it’s just the execution on what they showed wasn’t there. But it doesn’t mean they’re bad movies and for my generation gave us a sense of imagination and wonder for the early years of our lives. You saying that the OT is a beautiful work of mastery and the prequels a pile of trash is idiotic to say. The OT was a perfect execution of movie making and world building for sure, but they’re not that great dude. It’s a simple story. Simple things happening. There’s not much there. If I compartmentalize the OT and talk about how Luke and Leia… had a relationship. About how they made a death star with a glaring and galactic altering fault that would make them blow up entirely if they’re shot. About how they get swallowed by a huge monster and somehow manage to survive and escape through its teeth. And the plot can be absolutely obliterated but I’m not making an analysis. The OT is not that great dude. But the overarching story is what is amazing. Grow up, gain some empathy, and learn why people like the films they do. You’ll learn that the same reasons you love the OT is why people love the prequels. You’re not smarter than people who don’t agree with you, stop acting like it and hiding from criticism behind this weird character you made.

waiting for disney mouse to go bankrupt and the demolition crews move in and throw that disneyspawn in the skips

Where's my episode 11?

Dammit this dude is hilarious.

rey probably didn't want to end up a single mom with a black eye

Omfg, the napalm bit...