Why Some Adults Can't... "Act Their Age"

I never act my age at work but at home it’s totally different for me

Coming here after getting a nasty comment on a video I posted doing an interior tour of my tiny vintage caravan home that said it was "childish" and to "grow up". I'm in my 50s and autistic and have been told this my whole life. I also have complex PTSD and never felt OK about being myself until very recently, so it hurts to be told to "grow up" because I like childish things, pink, fluffy toys, rainbows and unicorns. My caravan is my only home and my safe sanctuary from the world. The way I've decorated it makes me happy but the more people tell me to "grow up", the more reclusive I become. People can be so mean! 😢

There's a big difference between having "Childish" interests, and Childish Behavior

I have a hard time with this my mom keeps telling me I can't treat you like an adult and be mature if she wouldn't of had me in the first place she wouldn't deal with that sometimes after she tells me that I can't act my age I have thoughts of suicide

As a teenager who works in customer service most customers are adults and most of them have a short temper and take it out on me. Take accountability, don’t blame your past for choices you make in the present. I act more adult than most adults. And sometimes i just want to act my age and use some realy bad words. Since teenagers are like that anyways.

I think I act like a child at my work. Because we’re an early learning center / daycare so when I’m in my classroom I guess it feels like I’m reverting back to an easier time when learning was easier before I had my epilepsy and learning got harder. Because I’m not dumb. I like to have fun there. Idk it’s odd.

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Since I turned thirty two recently I turn to the sailor moon anime from the year 1991 ad for coping skills

School of life is so validating 😌💕

These aren't just memories stored away, but the physiological responses we felt all those years/decades ago are triggered as well. 😢

It is sad to see a prominent channel like this one never mention the differences in neurology in humans, and how that can influence one's behaviour. It is estimated that ~ 15–20% are neurodiverse, and much of the advice and therapy works differently or not at all for e.g. autistic and ADHD folks. I understand that the content produced by The School of Life is very general and not targeted at specific people, but excluding alternative reasons for a particular behaviour besides childhood experiences, and alternative ways to adjust the behaviour, amounts to excluding a whole bunch of people. At least mention the topic for once.

My parents are like that

Someone once said “forgive me for not knowing how to act my age, I have never been this age before”😂

Sometimes is okay to release your “Inner Happiness”

My body may grow old, but my mind will still be young!

I am 30 year old I act like 3 year old Gosh I really need to stop act like a kid . And started act like a Adult like for real. All this strawberry mess got to stop right here and right now. Because God Don't like ugly

This has sadly made me realise I have uncountable traumas. 😔

I'd prefer dealing with rotten people with extreme, unadulterated violence.

People tell me this often, they either tell me I act too old or too young. I Can never seem to actually “act my age”

Thanks!

I have Asperger’s and I’m actually twenty two and multiple times when I misbehave mom notices I am acting like a child

When I lost my husband of forty years died. I had no clue how to act.

I went back mentally to my high school years. I went back to what I knew or how to act.
The big problem, is I'm seventy-two old.✌

We very much need this kindness toward ourselves. We also need this kindness toward one another. We are all wounded children who may not know how to heal ❤

basically learned nothing from this, unfortunate waste of time.

I can't "act my age". I have never been this old. So I just do whatever I feel like doing. I have very little time to express myself. I'll be dammed if you think I am going to act my age at 70!!!

There's a difference between being child-like and childish. Child-like is a happy, adventurous state IMO. Thats a wonderful place to be

Kindly specify why many people cannot move out of primary school level. SMiLE 😃

Exquisite

Life Goals

I am 50. The best advice I have for anyone is to only let the ADULT out if absolutely necessary and never to abandon the child in you!

Had to comment for support! Great video!!😊

'triggers' instantly recall you back to a more childlike state.......No communication, you don't know what is going to happen, where the other person is 'at'. Being blamed, not trusted.

I'm a 18 year old that acts like a middle age adult what's wrong with me?

Could you please, please, please make School Of Life in Spanish? I really think Hispanic community needs this videos🤧

Watching this made me think of my father and his reactions to stress. He was unable to control his emotions and would often regress back to a much younger version of himself. Seeing him like that was heartbreaking. The video made me understand how important it is to recognize our own triggers and to stay calm even when we're feeling overwhelmed.

I'm always chasing nostalgia recently, it's a comfort - but is it holding me back?

I.e collecting vintage (90s/2000s) stuff I used to like, listening to music from then etc

This is a good phenomenon to be aware of in ourselves but also in those we have have to deal with. Exercising all the restraint, control and reason in the world feels inadequate when confronted with a childlike tantrum from an adult.

What utter nonsense

Yes, it is sounding, in many ways, familiar to me. 😢😔
But as you mentioned, 'knowing the danger/hazard is more than half-way to a solution - and greater calm.'
Thank You. 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

First, it's experiences, not she that determine our thinking and way we act. Second, Those who cannot act their age are usually the ones who cannot walk from the shadows of their childhood trauma or that they are grasping on to what made them happy in their childhood and thus never truly mature. It is a sign that something fundamentally is very wrong and disturbing the mind within the individual. That's how you tackle this issue.

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I've been married for 5 years now, and , in the past, whenever my husband would go into a rage, I would feel like I'm being yelled at by my narcissistic mother, and I would freeze. But I've learned that my husband (and mother) is the fearful child, and I'm the adult who can assert herself to be respected. In other words, I don't have to remain in a relationship where the other person feels out of control and resorts to yelling to gain control. Therapy has truly helped.

I'm still a teenager but I think that's a young adult. When I was in elementary, I was bullied every day from 1st grade till I graduated. All of my bullies were boys(in 1st and 2nd grade, there were girls). I actually asked for help from my mom because I think the bullying is taking out of hand but sadly, she disregarded it and told me to ignore them and that they're just joking. Joking? Isn't it suppose to be funny and if it hurts too much, they would apologize even if you showed discomfort? I did ignore them but they started being physical by hitting me in the head. I got too much of it so I started fighting back by pinching. There came a time where they cornered me, because I was sitting in the back of class with one boy as I was really tall, I cried because I'm so frustrated and I even tried pinching them but they act as if they don't care. I really felt uncomfortable because I'm not close with boys and there were like 3 of them cornering me. I was sitting on the right whereas my male seatmate was on the left and we where sitting at the back, near the wall, where he was the one sitting close to the wall. Since I am on the side, the boys cornered me by sitting near me and preventing me from leaving(on purpose). I was so disappointed because my teacher(a woman if you want to know) was there and all she did was call them and scold them but they weren't threatened and she stopped there. I cried at that moment and because of that, I don't trust adults anymore. I thought to myself, if these bullies won't stop then I will hurt them seriously. My mom eventually saw me when I was hitting one of the bullies, and she scolded me telling me that people might think something else when they see me doing that to boys. Like, she invalidated my feelings and she felt for them? Wtf? I felt so neglected and because of that I hate my mother. I also didn't make friends starting in highschool because I was afraid of being bullied. I do have a friend but I only have one and she doesn't have friends too. Everytime I hear or see others harass other people, I get so mad inside that I curse them. Right now, I can't trust people when I see them harass others because they might become bullies

Feeling like a failure and also feeling pressured to do things I don't like. I get triggered immediately and start crying uncontrollably

People that say "act your age" are usually boring people

When you hit your 40s and into your 50s...all the work you put in to being an adult after a lifetime of unhelpful experiences...you can start to feel like an overwhelmed child...which is probably what we actually are.

Alain 🔥

I thought I had an anger disorder and I couldn’t be helped but once I found a doctor who called them temper tantrums it put things into perspective and helped me start to change and control my emotions

Emotionally arrested? It’s called being human. And if we all saw it this way, life would be much easier and better. We’re not emotionally arrested, we’re human. Human. And it’s entirely normal. But we’re not taught it’s normal.