Good boundaries free you | Sarri Gilman | TEDxSnoIsleLibraries

this is one of the best talks I've heard from TED

If you want to think of this technically, boundaries are like a biosphere. You allow life to prosper within your boundaries, increasing your confidence and ability to deal with stress psychologically.

I wish I knew this in my 20s

Thank you

get withit

why ilive alone idontellu to hurturself

I loved ❤Sarris TedX talk..its something to keep in mind..to set limits..

Every soul who tries to people please actually beholds great fear of being left out. We put our energy into making sure that people will stick around instead of healing and being enough for ourselves and we have a lot of trouble to rethink all of that.

But being a people pleaser is one of the quickest ways of turning into a selfish, manipulative person. Excessive kindness can’t be your whole personality trait, otherwise you’re actually not saving any of that kindness for yourself.

Watching lectures like that strengthens the self-therapy that I’m doing since a few talks with my actual therapist. I’m glad to listen to that and find some comfort and wisdom in the comments as well.❤

excellent

You are absolutely wrong about writing. I balance my time between alone time and being with people.
And my love of writing makes me write while I am inspired. It is so easy to just start writing.
I was a counselor for a time while also writing. It isn't an either or all thing. You can take as much as little time as you wish to write
I like writing in the morning, but I can also write later at night.
You might be a good therapist, but you don't understand about the world of writing. I am passionate about writing. It isn't just an occupation, it is part of who you are.
There is a time limit on being a social worker or therapist. I lasted 6 years. But my writing is forever.

This is very useful material. A similar book I've read was equally helpful. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn

Thank you so much, Sarri for sharing this talk. So much wisdom.

I liked when she said that 'self care is how you treat yourself. That's so very true. We have to 🤔 think about the what ifs. What I mean is, if we tell a person 'no', we have to get out of wondering what if the person no longer wants to talk to us to, what would happen to me if I don't say no. Sometimes saying no is more healthier for you, then for the other person. And to me, that is self care.😊

I’m a people person too. I teach and I love it!

1) increase self care
2) surround with hood mentors
3) learn to say no; measure your self as a resource.

❤❤❤

Boundaries are healthy and good. To see people advocate for living life without boundaries is a red flag! Not help...

Manipulative people are always reactive to others boundaries.

I'm not allowed to be healthy.

Most people have at least a vague idea how to set a boundary. For instance, "I will not accept shouting in this relationship". Or " I will not accept alcoholism in this relationship". Or "I will not lend money in this relationship". There are infinite variations. Emotional, relational, financial, whatever it is. but it all boils down to the idea of "I will not accept x," whatever x is.

Because a boundary, in essence, is a checkpoint or a wall that does not let things in. And if you're smart about it, you build that wall just the right way so you keep the bad stuff out while still allowing the good stuff to come in. So most people know what their boundaries are; this is typically something intuitive.

Too many mouth noises.

little info in this video

I enjoyed the Public Health video. Yes, Self care is an important step for me. Knowing what I must do for me. Taking care of me in all areas especially physical.emotionally and socially. And making sure I have boundaries.

I've asked you to not read my emails. You continue to violate the boundary that I have repeatedly asked you to respect. Therefore you've forfeited any right to be treated respectfully.

You'll be abused in the harshest possible terms, for now, until I move this offline. Don't complain about it.

What an inspiring person! Thank you so much for sharing 😊

So profound. Thank you.

If you shut out the noise you will find yourself profoundly intune with your purpose

I am so proud of you Sarri!

I have clear boundaries. I am in control of my yeses and my nos.

"Nowadays our technology has created this illusion that you are all a device that is always on." 💯❤️

During the storm...🌬She speaks
A break in the storm.
A God Sent -went right into it with a gentle Power.

amazing.

Still working on mine. I did learn too late---but you have to make the mistake first---to listen to the voice or see the red flag when someone tries to empower/take advantage of you. If someone does this they don't have your interests at heart, it's about their own motivations. If someone gets upset with you for saying no, well, that's a good filter for who should be in your life. If you don't set the boundary there is angry, and also feelings of a lack of self-worth and self-destruction. When you yield to another you put them before YOU, which demeans YOU. I put respect above love, because without respect there can be no love, in my humble opinion. I used to think that working hard at work was a good thing. Then I realized with that employer I was simply letting them squeeze me while they made their money. Your 'life' is just that. If you don't set boundaries, you don't really live 'your' life.

This is Mr. Ambowlowon this video was made a long time ago________________*_____'__________®

This is really helpful

I have 3 siblings. I speak to none yet I am the beneficiary on my parents life insurance. I'm fixing to ask my parents to remove me so when the time comes the others can keep it all especially the stress. I am not fighting for what I did not help my parents build💗

Sarri, You have a lovely way of communicating with your audience. I admire your way and your wisdom. K

Thank you. So much.

I've allowed many partners to disrespect me because of a lack of boundaries I've allowed friends as well to make rules for me without saying no I vow to make boundaries and stand up for myself in relationships and friendships to have happier relationships

Toxic workaholics

My story is being shaped according to what I say yes to and no to

Personally my story moves according to how much I surrender and how willing I am to do the work

Three things to support my compass…

Increase self care

Resources
Support group, recovery, Alcoholics Anonymous, Sponsor,

Know My responsibilities
Prioritize keep some let go of some

Rest
In this talk I did not hear one message regarding Spiritual life what do you practice when you wake up through the day and when you go to sleep at night?

I was taught upon awakening say thank you look back at the day before do not regret it learn from it prepare for the day be careful not to be selfish to lie when agitated be still breathe meditate and visualize the solution call that special person who has the strong practice in their life when I go to bed at night I’ll review my day I pay attention to where I was wrong I pray for forgiveness and if I see those people the next day I apologize if I did not at the time and I look to see where I could be more helpful the next time and definitely not feel shame

I just had a thought I can add a nonprofit to receive my trust as my beneficiaries cannot any longer receive the trust and I can create my own nonprofit
A nonprofit that trains and monitors long-term facilities!

The facility I work at my coworkers 90% of them don’t care the residents are depressed sick And isolated no family visits it’s like I have to leave them knowing they won’t have me

In the past year my mother passed I have real estate my financial life has significantly changed I have opportunities but no direction

I am a star employee CNA but maybe it’s time to leave

My Compass shows up and disappears

But I’m still broken scared on the verge of losing it I am a mom I’m a caretaker I’m single I’m alone I’m isolating

I am in recovery which allows me to break down in my meetings thank God for that