The Spotlight Effect

NOTE TO SELF
1.) Stastically speaking, most people don't care what you do and don't remember your mistakes. Why do you seem to remember most of your social blunders but rarely others? It's the same for other people. They rarely remember what you did "wrong" because they're focused on themselves. Everyone is like this.


2.) Focus your attention on others. Instead of looking down or to the side, observe others in the room to prevent your attention from being internalized.

Remember the Spotlight Effect is lying to you and remember to focus your attention outside of you to prevent unnecessary anxiety.

Really helpful, thank you. I especially liked the insight re looking down (when anxious etc), that it makes us look internally, and that we’re better off looking/focussing on another person, to stop those internal thoughts. Thanks!

The only worst critic is that one in your own mind.

In other words, nobody cares 😂

But i live in a small town...

This is actually very helpful

I found your second point very helpful and eye-opening - (observing other people tip) - so I'll make sure to now incorporate it

Thanks you so much

But isn’t it completely fine to see ourselves as the main character or protagonist of our own story? As like a form of self motivation?

Some people though are targets of other people, and do get remembered as being "cringe". That t-shirt experiment doesn't really prove anything other than how people that are already socially accepted won't be remembered negatively for their t-shirts.

I grew up being so observative that i assume other people is like that

I m a loser.. U block me..

You are the one who decides what you choose in your life so yes you are , its your choice if you want your story to be great or bad , legendary or forgotten it depends on you

im social anxious but im getting better on this hard path to be "normal"

how can I get into contact with you?

I really appreciate your videos, man! This is gold standard material right here. Useful and presented excellently. I thank you for making these videos and educating other people like me.

Wait are u Macedonian?

Kaj si be brat

I may not be a main character but I will become the side character the main character is jealous of.

we overestimate how people remember our action (positivily or negatively) more than they actually do (spotlight effect)

Quick Summary:
Spotlight Effect (You are not the MC and Nobody cares)
Use your eyes and shift Focus.

Ok.. Wasn't that kinda
Obvious 😬

Its always been hard for me. Despite my talents and achievement but one thing that got into my self esteem is I'm shorter than average Chinese and Chinese are usually tall which makes me loss confident among Chinese girls

What app/website do you use to create such videos?

Social anxiety is part of Complex trauma, it is having experience of being abused, bullied, mobbing attack. Problem are toxic people, not our symptoms that are now stuck inside our body as triggers and flashbacks.

Thinking about Spotlight effect leads to another effect:
"The self-absorption paradox describes the contradictory association whereby higher levels of self-awareness are simultaneously associated with higher levels of psychological distress and with psychological well-being."

"You need to look at other people and shift your focus on them"
Socially anxious people are already focused on other people. They are focused too much already, it is like being zoomed onto other people. It is due to abuse and toxic ambient, where predators and manipulators hurt them in the past, and now they look at other people closely to seek evidence of predator and manipulative, toxic behaviour.

Think about it logically,
social anxiety was discovered in 1990s and CBT is explaining it as mindset issue, that people need to shift focus. It did not help.
But pharma mafia likes to make people believe that there is no trauma, since it is easier to make money on human neurosis and heal toxic environment - since there is no money influx if there is no anxiety.

"Since most non-HSPs do not seem to enjoy thinking about solutions, they assume we must be unhappy doing all that pondering.
Preferring toughness, the culture sees our trait as something difficult to live with, something to be cured."
The Highly Sensitive Person,
Elaine N. Aron

Awesome and unique

Thanks for making this one I'm trying to cope with this since long.

You are you and that is your power don't let what other think get to you

Overthinking prevents you from doing anything

The minute you care about what other think of you is the moment you stop be being yourself

Be yourself and you will be cool

Wow amazing

I love this channel so much. It's given me more personal growth and motivation tips than anything else. Thank you so much for making these <3

Thank you for this!!!!! I have an interview in about an hour and needed a shift in perspective.

Thank you so much for posting this vdo I am struggling with anxiety and i always tend overestimate how people see me..........this vdo really made me feel a lot better 💗

This channel is one of the most helpful things I've ever encountered I appreciate it 👍

Make video on how i can deal with bad memories from past🤯

Great

helpfull😀😀

This really helps me, thanks for that

This is the problem I an facing and I think I am introvert

This is it. I've been searching for this for a long time..

Wahhhh 🥰😍❤️