Hoarding Disorder - It’s More than Messy

I find that low carb diet keeps it under control. Brain running on ketones does not want any junk around, its not a value anymore but a time waste.

I believe I have a hoarding disorder, I am working with a psychologist to be diagnosed. One day he asks me "Does having someone else touch your things to be discarded cause you to feel as though you were assaulted?" I told him I have no idea because the idea of someone touching my things causes mental distress. A family member asked me why I still had a certain item that was most definitely rubbish, I told her to get out of my house

I have a friend who is a hoarder and I cleaned her house one day when she left and her kids got stressed and cried because they were so used to the messy house that they liked it.

To me, when someone hoards, the underlying reason is some form of early loss or abandonment issue. It can, I think, also come about from a victim mindset - where people don't necessarily hoard, but when they, say, eat, they just (because they're depressed) throw the scraps on the floor near them. I used to do this.

My sister is a “mini-hoarder”. Although she isn’t as bad as some, because of where she used to live would check regularly. She recently had to move in with me (health). So now, for me, is a problem as I am on the opposite end of the spectrum and believe everything needs to have a place. As I go through her things, we have to have a discussion about everything! For example, she has over 500 different coloring books. There is no way anyone can possibly use that many coloring books. But trying to get rid of any of them (suggested donating them) is an argument. Her room is full, my room is full, and I am in high anxiety over all this!

Thanks & good job. I hoard & pick. Is it possible that hoarding evolved to help cope with a situation of scarcity?

I used to keep things like Pringle cans and water bottles and literally anything you can store stuff. I always told myself that I would use them to store things or put plants in them. Everything was strewn all over my room. Clothes, trash, makeup, full pill bottles bc I wasn’t taking my meds. There are pictures of me in my room on my mom’s Facebook and looking at them makes me so embarrassed. Luckily, I got better when I moved in with my boyfriend, who is tidy and minimalistic. I had a dorm room at that point and most of my stuff stayed there, but when it came time to move out and filter through stuff, I had a harder time. There was a lot of clothes that I could have donated, but I would’ve just ended up keeping it and that would’ve just stressed me out, so I threw it all away without allowing myself to think about it. Although I did dig through the trash bag of stuff to grab some unnecessary stuff with the whole “I’ll do something with it!” mindset. But I did end up throwing it away! I did allow myself to have a keepsake box with stuff I absolutely could not let go of, which helped a ton. I was never really bad to the point of piles to the ceiling, but it had been a big issue in my life until I got the proper medication, therapy, and a really active support system. It’s definitely still hard not to go to the dollar tree and load up on stuff I totally won’t use but convinced myself I will, but luckily my boyfriend helps me categorize things in terms of “am I just saying I will use it or will I actually use it ? And what will I use it for EXACTLY?” Things do get easier with time, patience, and the right mindset

The matter at hand here is that most people that acquire that many items truly do not believe they are harming their next door neighbor.

I would like to see a video on overlap between hoarding and neurodivergence, most notably ADHD or Executive Function Disorder. Because in my experience, they seem to force-multiply: Having trouble scheduling things makes it hard to deal with the mess, and having trouble remembering things makes it feel like losing objects in which memories are stored is literally losing part of my mind.

I quite commonly get to the end of a period of time and realize that I've failed to do a thing I'd intended to do, or said that I'd do. Maybe it's hanging up the socks, maybe it's dealing with a computer issue, maybe it's making an appointment or looking up some key information for something that needs to happen the next day. I can have every intention in the world of doing this, and yet I'll pass the entire night without thinking about it, until it's too late. (I've started using timers.) The trigger for recalling the thing is something in that mind-sorting process at the end of the night.

Now extrapolate that to more long-term things. Said I'd eventually do something for someone, make something for them, contact them to touch bases again after six months. I might literally have no recollection of this detail until I run across the object that reminds me that the detail exists -- at which point I get a flood of detail, and maybe a pleasant "oh yeah, that thing!" or maybe an unpleasant "oh crap, I forgot to do the thing again!" Therefore, getting rid of that object is tantamount to destroying that memory, because it destroys the trigger for that memory.

On a more personal level, a lot of my creative projects are long-term, in large part due to that executive dysfunction, so I flit about among various projects and put many projects on the shelf for months or years or even decades. And my notes are always a mess. So I have all these messy, half-formed notes that I can't seem to bring to order, and then I have a time disconnect between stages of the project. If the project notes just vanish (e.g. someone throws away a random set of papers), well, it might as well be that the project never existed. No matter how dear it was to me at the time. (Also, I have a paranoia issue with things just vanishing where I know there's an absence but don't know what that absence is -- especially with online things vanishing, but also with objects vanishing. It distresses me.)

So while it's pretty clear that hoarding is an issue for me, it also feels like a lot of related functions play into that. My difficulty organizing anything I want/need to organize, focusing on tasks, not getting distracted or sidetracked. My Intuitive-Perceptive (MBTI) nature, which wallows in possibilities but finds it excruciating to narrow down, cut, prune, get rid of options. My aphantasia, which makes it significantly harder to picture things I'm not actively looking at (split-screen is a godsend).

I also derive pleasure from the knowledge that I possess certain things, even if I'm not currently interacting with them even visually -- e.g. it pleases me that I own a box of pretty marbles, even though I haven't laid eyes on that box in years and I'm not sure where in my bedroom it's located at the moment. I enjoy the fact that I own a couple dozen random plushies, even though I don't play with them and don't often look at them. And when I come across a thing I own that I haven't thought of in a long time, I tend to get pleasure just from it sparking that memory.

Objects can make me recall creative projects, phases of my life, friendships of old, musicians I used to enjoy (and still do, upon being reminded that they exist), shows I used to watch, games I used to play, plans I used to have (and might still intend to do, once I'm reminded of them)... large chunks of my awareness through time, chunks that are lost to me unless triggered somehow. So it's not merely that I have trouble letting go of worthless items; it's that (a) the stuff I value might seem worthless or low-value to others, because they don't grasp the memories and emotions I have invested in a particular object, and (b) I have trouble sorting the worthwhile from the worthless, due to my other mental health issues / neurodivergence.

What about not hoarding but chronically, extreme messiness?

I've searched your videos for passive aggressive disorder, traits can you address that

I wish Dr. Marks would do a video on compulsive buying behavior.

Listening closely to the " how to treat it". I'm only in my twenties and I'm leaving my parents home. I can't walk in it from one angle to the other. That's when I understood there was a problem.

i think my mum is a mild hoarder.
when 3 of us work overboard, our bedrooms + living room, kitchen turned into her storeroom, where she keeps empty bottle, old paper bags, foods (she will keep food that is expensive, then forget about the foods when they are expired), new plates (which she will never use or want to give it to us, she will only use the broken plates), broken chair etc.
when i went back to visit my parents, i feel like i am living in a big messy storeroom, which is hard for me because i am kind like a minimalist.
Dr. you are right, we tried to get rid of the stuff when she was sleeping or went out, when she realized that, she was so upset with us and the space that we just cleared, filled up very soon.
we told her the hoarding problem and how this is affecting our life, she doesn't admit it, get angry and cry, so we just keep it to ourselves.
we never or hardly (i can't even remember the last time that happened) have friends or relative coming over because of the hoarding. whenever, i went to relative house, how i wish my parents house is like that- clean and tidy.
Don't get me wrong, my mum is a great mum.

I used to struggle with a sense of low self worth and was messy and hording all my life. Now I fixed a large part of the self worth issues and I notice that I am way more organized. It's easier now to correctly assess stuff's value. Do you think there is a relation between low self worth, and feeling stuff is too valuable for you to throw away? Do we assess the value of stuff by comparing it to our perceived value of ourselves? Thanks a lot!

I've noticed that some people accumulate garbage, throwing it on the floor and letting it accumulate. They experience no distress when the garbage is removed and seem to have no emotional attachment. I'm not sure if this is an issue of neurodivergence, selective diogenes syndrome, or something else. Any insight?

I think I just live in clutter but maybe a jr hoarder. My sister bought me body lotion from Victoria Secret and I never used it. I didn’t want to throw it away because I felt like it had sentimental value. I had it for 10 years and just threw it away a couple of weeks ago.

I have a great aunt who could have two dogs or six dogs but she will let them pee and poop on the floor and leave it there over and over. Like how do you breath in that smh what kind of label or disease would that be?

Now I hoard but in a collective way. Like my room is cluttered but it’s organized in a collective manner. The things in my room are gifts and therefore feel more personal towards a person who gave it to me. Especially when i don’t see them again because it’s personal. To me throwing things away Is like throwing away the person that gave me the gift away. I don’t see everything as junk but more like trophies of having friends and going through fun or sad past experiences.

So I guess you could say I hoard in a random personal collective manner that is an obsession.

So my room is more like packed with a lot of cool things organized on shelves around an experience in life. And unlike letting it sit there I sometimes interact with them because it’s easier to keep me stimulated.

And not like hoarding junk without thought of it

My husband has a light hoarding disorder so did his dad. We didn't have health insurance for the longest time. I learned how to "live" with this via professionals online (live for lack of a better term). It was a slow process, but it has gotten better. Part of the cause was being poor (father abandoned the family). I'm also not the neatest person so I had to become neater and grow as well. I consider our house just cluttered now. We have been growing together so I'm hoping for us to grow into being considered neat. NEVER throw away stuff w/o permission. My sister came over to help clear out a room and throw away Legos boxes (w/ and w/o Legos inside, and that really upset him. Doing stuff w/o permission can make the hoarder lose trust in you so they won't let you help clean. It is a slow process. Something that helped for me was putting stuff in the garage or other places until we can go through it together. Do we really need this? What is the point of having this if we can't find it? We can donate this so someone else can actually enjoy it. Does this family member want this? Let's call them. It is important for you to take a break if you are feeling frustrated w/ them not getting rid of stuff. It is a long process. It has made my husband happier which is important. We can invite people over now. I would recommend professional intervention if that is at all possible. It was not possible for us.

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God bless you ✝️

It started with my fork in the mashed potatoes...

My “collecting” has always been high. I grew up a little on the poor side and always was the last (if at all) to get the newest cool toy or shoes or clothes. I grew up feeling very second best because of it and always felt left out. I also grew up in the country and didn’t have any friends nearby, so I learned to fill my time and emotions with what little physical things I DID have.

From childhood to an adult, I always had a pretty good handle on my collecting. I had a lot of stuff, but it was always organized and fairly clean.


I stopped collecting most things in my 30s because I wanted to behave and look like more of a responsible adult. I wasn’t really happy not being able to collect or enjoy things. I was depressed some too. I missed having stuff.

Then my 40s and the pandemic hit. I started to collect to curb anxiety about my age and the dangerous disease. I had major depression from the pandemic and the state of our world. I also started to realize more and more I’ve always had ADHD and a lack of dopamine. So the collecting filled my dopamine needs too. But I’ve let things pile up. I’ve collected way too many things. I try to collect everything because all kinds of things bring me joy. It’s just too much. I can’t collect everything and have every hobby. It only interests me for a while, then I move on to the next so I can get the dopamine high again.

I’ve started medications for depression and anxiety, and I have a stimulant gif ADHD I haven’t started yet. The depression is lessening, but I still have the need for the dopamine of collecting things. I need to get rid of things so I can enjoy the few things more I love rather than it all just piling up on me. I have to pick favorites and that’s hard. I hope I can learn how to cope again and weed needless things out.

Hoarders are unmistakable when you encounter them. The combo of irrationality and agitation is impossible to miss. Treatment is very difficult and rarely successful. If you encounter a potential partner that is a hoarder...run! You would be safer with a serial killer. They tend not to murder their partners. Hoarders can create a home that can kill you.

Hoarding is dangerous trip hazards, and extremely expensive to clean up after. Hoarding is when the home turns into a literal garbage dump, and they will collect more and more and more to pile on the rubbish. I find it very disrespectful. I don't want anyone to be stuck with a ton of work to do if I die. Getting rid of things means you respect and love your loved ones.

Hoarding is being disrespectful toward your loved ones. I would not want to leave a ton of work for my loved ones to do after I die. It is something to truly think about.

I have OCD and hording so they fight each other!! The OCD needs everything to be clean while I also don’t want to throw anything away because I believe I will need it one day!!!

What if the person is Autistic and believes God can heal him. He doesn’t believe in labels.

Could have used your info about 50 years ago. In the meantime, I will keep digging.

You are so incredibly helpful. Thank you for taking the time to create this content.

This video presentation is so helpful in my preparation for the NCMHCE. I must explore your other videos. Thank you.

I wonder sometimes if it's also caused by a brain being unable to store memories like most do? My daughter (HD) once told me when she was quite young that everything she had reminded her of things, like an event or people, and if she didn't have those things she wouldn't have those memories. I thought it was such an odd thing to say that I've never forgotten it.

My father is a hoarder.... I quit my father... He destroyed my career and give me stressful way of living

I get anxiety when I go to my very good friend's house.He is elderly an can't get rid of alot of things.The house is a smell of 🚭 smoke and not well kept. My visits are limited to the situation.

WHY DO I HOARD TRASH? I don't have an attachment to the trash I just get overwhelmed to anxiety when I see trash on the ground and can't pick it up. Suddenly my room is full of trash and takes 2-3 trash bags to clear it out (I need help from my mom to clean because of the anxiety).

Can you talk about hoarding co-occurring with bipolar? And hoarding and personal hygiene. Is it similar to what appears to be sex addiction with bipolar, but as you said in another video, really an aspect of the impulsiveness of mania? Does a person with bipolar buy when they are in a manic state and attempt (often failing) to clean in a depressed state? How does poor hygiene come to play? Many hoarders also suffer with poor hygiene. Is the inability to bathe due to depression or is it due to feeling too busy with some project or due to the belief that they are above bathing (grandiosity)?

1.) brain injury
2.) domestic abuse
3.) theft and lies

Thats me took me five years from furniture weeding drees swage cloths bags shoes they were not crappy tjey were nice i cleaned my curbord my ex mother horderd womans weekey card birthday cards Christmas cards mother day card what ever card he collected old kids bike i j hord cloths shoes kids stuff crap its oit of my life now than god i don't go to the shops any more bu on line sometimes clothes nwas a lot .i collected dolls and Tedd besrs gabe a lot to my mum throw away gave to op shop

Injust struggling to be Clean

It took my life my animals r cared for maybe it happened at jinder with the dolls

One time I was at my mother's Hoarding home and went to the kitchen looking for a bottle opener and inside a drawer were over 200 Gatorade caps. I threw them all away and later when she found out they were gone she got upset and when I asked her why she was saving them she said " I lose my Gatorade cap sometimes while I am drinking, and I can just go get a new one from the drawer. She actually has more of an emotional relationship with material things than her own family.

I hoard virtual pets. No one sees them but me and others on the site. However, it does cost $$$ to maintain my "cats". I am planning to buy a "special" cat when the site owner will make one for me.

I believe that if you collect Funko Pops, it's only a matter of time before you become a full-blown hoarder.

Hoarders also acquire by taking things from the streets, dumpster diving and taking things from drop-off areas intended for second-hand shops.

The problem is generations can imprint it on the following generations to keep and save stuff.

I have a friend who has become a hoarder, and it seems to have gotten very extreme. Her entire apartment is filled with stuff—it's not untidy, just packed with things, mostly clothes. She seems to collect items she finds outside, including clothes and other things like speakers. I suggested she sell some of it, especially the clothes, since she has far more than she could ever wear. But she wasn't very open to the idea and came up with excuses for why she can't sell them. I also suggested moving a lot of the stuff to the cellar, but her partner told me that the cellar is already full. Now I'm watching videos online to learn how I can help her. She used to be different, a normal person with a normal apartment. I hope I can somehow help her return to how things were in the past.

SORRY ABOUT THE AUDIO CHANGES - I see now that I can't lean forward and talk. 😊