Pet loss grief; the pain explained | Sarah Hoggan DVM | TEDxTemecula

Today had to put down my childhood dog mini schnauzer breed 12 yrs old ”Buddy & i keep reliving last moments in my head. I held him in my arms through the end & in the beginning while under anesthesia he still lightly wagged his tail. The unconditional love they have for us is something else, he would always growl softly when i would sometimes pet him sounded so funny & endearing. I dunno what to do now it’s so hard, it happened so fast he became ill from kidney failure last week & now was the time. I saw couple poems & quotes
”I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don’t grieve that it must be you”

”I know that you must miss me,
By the tears rolling down your face.
But believe me when I tell you that,
I’m in a very good place. There are meadows here to run in,
And plenty of rabbits to chase.
There are other dogs to play with,
To frolic with and race. And I’ll be watching over you still,
of that you can be sure.
I’m your canine guardian angel,
And my love for you remains pure”.
”A thing of beauty, I know
Will never fade away
”I’ll see you again Buddy

Sending love to everybody who has gone and going through this ❤️‍🩹

Had to have my dog Ralf put to sleep today. He was a rescue and went through and amazing journey from a frightened dog to very chilled out. Unfortunately his legs went and there was no other choice

I lost my best friend, my soulmate last week. Cooper was amazing. Exceptional. One of a kind. I was his and he was mine. He was there for me through it all. Marriage, children, loss….everything. I feel I lost a part of me, a part of my soul. I can’t stop crying. Today I received his ashes, and although my heart is aching, I have comfort now that he’s back home with us.

You will be in my heart forever, Cooper. I long for you. 12 1/2 years by my side. Thank you for all the joy and unconditional love. I’ll see again one day. ❤

Thank you. I'm so glad I came across this video, I really need this. I was amazingly lucky to be owned by a little yellow Labrador called Bonnie. She crossed Rainbow Bridge yesterday, after 13 years of love, friendship, joy and laughter. It all happened very quickly and I'm still very raw broken and processing it. I will forver love and adore her. She was more than a pet or a family mamber. I think she's taken a little part of my soul with her. This was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do .

I lost my buddy yesterday, my dog, he was more than a buddy he was my brother we basically grew up together, he had kidney failure and his bones were so weak, he was old, for 16 years he gave me and my family nothing but love, poor thing was everything to me, a furry temple of love, we had to put him to sleep, he felt pain every time he had to pee, he couldn't walk straight, but he had such a pure kind soul he would always walk up to me and rub his head so i could hug him, i haven't cried in years, but this, i still can't stop crying, i miss him so much, but i know he can finally be free of pain, somewhere, rest in peace little brother.

I lost my baby Harley yesterday, I’m devastated 💔

thank you Dr. Hoggan for sharing your experience with grieving pet owners. It should never never be minimalized by anyone!

My dog died today.I just couldn't digest the fact that my BABY IS NO MORE 😭😭😭😭😭❤❤❤❤❤i love you so much ..i dont know how im gonna get over this..i miss him so much🥺❤

My dog just died yesterday. I am so sad. He was with me for 15 years and half. I miss him so much. 😢

I lost my girl 7 months ago now. There is nothing that we didn't do together, and if dogs weren't allowed then we didn't go. We went on endless road trips together for our holidays, she dragged me through divorce and another bad break-up. She was my constant, my other half and indeed the better half. I have no regrets, we did everything we ever wanted to do, I used to tell her I loved her 100's of times a day. Flora's ending wasn't peaceful, but it wasn't prolonged, and there was no way out.

I wear her collar on my wrist everyday, I have her tattooed on my arm, and I walked the Camino de Santiago in her memory to raise money for the rescue charity I got her from. Sometimes things seem a bit better, and the memories make me smile, and then other times I'm down on my knees not knowing how I'll ever get over this. Mine and Floras home which was our sanctuary now just feels like an empty shell haunted by the memories of how beautiful life once was in stark contrast, something that makes me feel guilty and even more upset.

I know Flora wouldn't want me to be like this, but thinking that makes me feel worse. Flora taught me so much about how beautiful and simple life is, but now without her it's hard to feel that. At times since I have felt her with me, but these times have been all to fleeting before the grief and troubles of life take-over again.

I don't know when or if this will end, but I know one thing is that I'd do it all again no matter how much pain just to have another Flora.

Big hugs to you all in similar situations, and for sharing your stories which help us all feel less alone.

Thankful for this video. I had to put down my 10-year old Westiepoo due to last stage chronic kidney disease, ehrlichiosis, anemia, and seizures. It still feels like I betrayed my furbaby for doing so. But according to the vet, there's nothing more that can be done to save her. 😭💔 I'm missing Misty (my furbaby) a little extra today. Run free, baby. 🐾🥺

When I lost my (3) babies within 1 year (2) in 2020 & (1) 2021) of each other, my heart was shattered 💔💔. It has never been the same since then. I got another dog, a miniature dachshund, Sprinkles, whom I love very much, but my heart still has 3 holes in it from my previous (3) girls (Cookie, Lilly & Cupcake).

My dog passed away last night. I’ll miss my boy so much.

I put my cat down two days ago. I knew it was going to hurt, but nothing could have prepared me for this kind of heartache. I'm functioning through life, but I take time to cry when I need to. I miss her to the very depths of my soul.

I need help. Ive had my Doggy Fry since i was 21. Hes old and blind now, he cant stop peeing in the house. Without fail, urine and defication in every room. Ive had to completely waterproof a room for him. I cant go on anymore. Health wise, hes okay. Mind, hes anxious and not my boy anymore. Vet votes for euthanasia, so did I. Appointment is in days, im in bits. What do I do?

I lost my beloved a couple days ago and i cant seem to stop crying, anything and everything reminds me of her, i was hoping going back to work will help me forget but im feeling so confused, sad and numb at the same time. I totally understand why people give me advice and want to talk aboht this and i appreciate them but the more they do that the more alone i feel. I feel myself closing off to people because i dont want someones ignorance of my pain set me off into another spiral. I know time will heal yet this pain doesnt stop and there are times i dont want to go on without her. I keep remembering her eyes on the day of her euthanasia, i heard her say goodbye. People say pets dont talk and yet lola kept on telling us she is ready to go, we jsut didn't want to let hwr go until we had no other option. I miss ypu so much Lola, happy you're at peace now l, thank you for your selfless service, ypur unconditional love... everything thing you have done for me and my family ❤

I lost my tortoise a week ago. No one will ever understand how much I love him. He was my best friend and he would sit by me when I was upset. He was the smartest boy and the sweetest and loving and he had the most beautiful big, brown eyes. He fell sick 3 months ago and we had to go on a trip. I didn't want to leave him but my family didn't care much about that and so we left him with my cousin whom I trust a lot. I told him to wait for me but he passed away a day after my 18th. I couldn't grieve his loss properly because my family wouldn't let me. I just hope that he didn't think I abandoned him in his last moments and I hope he knew how loved he was. RIP Pepper. Thank You for the wonderful 10 years you spent with me. You were there for me when no one else was and I love you so so much. I hope I find you in another lifetime.

There's another trauma that comes with the loss of a pet and thats when the vet screws up and in our case given the diagnosis of asthma when really the breathing issue was Lar Par (Laryngeal paralysis) and the pet dies suddenly from it when there's a good surgical procedure to fix it, tie-back. Imagine the rage...

Lost another kitty while on vacation. Baby cat was a homeless cat that snuck into the house one day and lived in my house without my knowledge for three months until I found out I had another cat I've never adopted. She lived good eight years with me but never showed any affection until the a month before she passed. Started to snuggle with me and hold my face in her paws all the time. I think she knew her time came and tried to show me how much she loved me and thanked me for not kicking her out when I found out she was in the house. Balled out while on vacation while my nephew was showing her condition on video chat. Love and connection with the fur babies are the most purest form of love.

Thank you so much for this Sarah. I really needed to hear those words and to cry those tears today. Unconditional love, joy, laughter, comfort and contact - all the more powerful when you are alone, all given selflessly, consistently and without judgement or question. Animals truly are better than humans,

We had to put my Tabby cat Jimmy Mack down on January 16, 2024. He was a big boy, 30 pounds. He suffered some ministrokes, but the last one left him confused at times, and unable to walk, but he loved his papa and I loved him, he was my 4 legged son, for 14 yrs. God willing I'll be 70 in February, and I just can't stop crying. Our home feels so empty.We miss him Soo much. He was a love Dove 🕊️

Never had a better friend than Kaydence, who became my friend at 8 weeks old and for 14 years walked and ran by my side.
She was never just a pet, she was my friend. A better friend than any human has ever been.

My baby girl passed away on my lap while I was napping early this morning after a week of nursing her…this touched me so deeply…after 12.5 years together I’m beside myself… but that part about loving myself as much as I loved her wow! She was with me through 7 years of narcissistic abuse and with me when I finally got out on my own… this is the ultimate lesson when healing from narcissistic abuse…to love yourself first and foremost…o guess her work was done 😢

When you're grief engulfs you because you didnt get the recheck, for the bladder infection your 18yr old fur daughter had, what do you do....Its a life sentence.

I lost my little dog bindi to heart failure. She was diagnosed at 6 months. I was told she might live 2 years. She was 14.5 when she passed. I loved her lots, I kept her active and fed her the best food. I knew I did the best I could for her and kept her alive much longer than anyone ever expected her to live. I was a foster carer and it was the children that kept her going for so long…she felt needed. She really only got sick the last three weeks, then I made the decision to let her go before it got bad and she started really suffering. That was 5 years ago. But this brought all those memories back and I still miss her. I have a new dog, she was just diagnosed with a heart murmur.😢

I lost my dog Tuesday of this week i never understood how hard something could be until now

I just lost my 8yo white shepherd Bobby, this was the first major loss in my life and I keep blaming myself for not doing better, and I keep imagining situations where he would still be alive and here with me if I had done things differently.

I lost my love to dementia. I would like to see that talked about because it’s different. I feel I betrayed her and I can’t live with that. Also she saved me. I fall into so many categories of grief. Words fail me.

Soon to say goodbye to the dearest sweetest dog we have ever known. Our girl Juno is ten and is in kidney failure. She is that once in a lifetime dog-she is never happier than when she is hanging out with both Mom and Dad on a weekend-one of those dogs that just soaks up the love and radiates it back. Too many cute personality quirks to mention-she has been a pure joy to take care of, she has been our princess and we were so lucky to have her! It is comforting to know other people feel the same way about their pets!

When I had to put my Dog down it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt !! Came home and cried every night for hours and hours for years !! 😢🙏

I have a question. I need help. I wasn't strong to give my dog a peaceful transition. I was selfish. I made her suffer during her last hours. I knew better. I knew2 so much better. And how do I live with this now, how to move on from this? I made her suffer. Please help me. I am not sure what and how to move on. Thank you

Who else is sobbing?

I really appreciated this. Today, my family had to make one of our hardest decisions — we put to rest our beloved mini phantom poodle Lucas. It was so unexpected. He was jumping around playing last week. We are sad and it hurts, yet so thankful for the decade + of memories. Even the doctor cried and said he could tell how much our entire family loved Lucas. Our dog forever changed my perception of animals, care, loyalty 💜. We were there by his side until his last moment and now he’s in peace. Pets are beautiful. Sending care to all the people grieving their pets.

Thank you, from my whole entire body, thank you for making this video.

We're putting my 14 year old pup down in a few days. She's old and her quality of life has gone down significantly.
I'm 19. My family got Sadie when my brother and I were 2 and 4, respectively. I'm away at school and I can't be with my family and my dogs until tomorrow.
I'm in so much pain. I don't know how I'll go on after she's gone.

My sweet sweet sweet little Mr. Perfect left me today!!! I am so lost

I miss you Ollie boy. I cannot believe you're gone. Mommy loved you. I'll keep you forever in my heart. Always.

I searched for something to help me understand how I’m feeling. I just lost my pet cat, my baby. Who I have had for close to 9 years, she died suddenly by some kind of heart attack I believe I’m still not sure. It’s true she was older, and a couple white whiskers, but I definitely was not ready or expecting her to go so suddenly and out of the blue. My heart is crushed, she was my baby, when I first got her back in 2016 truth be told I didn’t want her at first. I had just lost another cat that got out of the house and disappeared. I was upset and hurt, but then my brother came after my dad told him I lost my cat. He brought my soon to be baby to me and after today I will keep replying all my memories of her. I’m not sure if I will ever decide to get a new pet, maybe some day. But for now I will where my baby cat Lillys collar on my wrist.

I had to put my Baylee Joy down 2 weeks ago. I had her for 10 years. She comforted me through the passing of my 2 sons. 😢💔

By far the best talk I've watched and listened to. I lost my furchild of 12 1/2 years right before Christmas on December 22nd. He had kidney failure disease and it went from stage to 2 to 4 in one year. The last week of his life was the hardest to watch him endure. There was nothing I could do. I did everything I could or thought would help, but he passed himself saving me from having to make the very difficult decision. I am so broken and have never experienced anything like this in my life. Even the passing of my father from which was extremely hard I was able to come to terms with and function somewhat. Now with this loss I am a total mess. Thank you Dr Hoggan. Your talk helped me a lot.

I lost my dog back in October before i left for boot camp i never had time to recover

My Boxador named Psycho died two months ago. She was 8 years old and just getting to the point that I felt she could read my mind. When she died it actually wasnt as hard as I thought because my memory is horrible. I just barely got a new puppy and even though he makes me mad pooping all over the place he makes me laugh just as much.
I am going to put an 8 by 10 photo of Psycho on my wall but I am one of the lucky ones who isn't affected quite as much as others.

My cat is my best friend, my soulmate. I have lived almost my whole life with her. I’m not prepared at all for the day she’s gonna pass away. I love her so much it’s…I don’t have the words.

I lost my cat yesterday. I can't describe how the pain of losing my companion breaking me apart. I will miss him badly. He was my family, my son. I love you boy, I pray your peace.💔

What a sweet, caring heart!! ❤

I just lost my first dog on Wednesday night 💔 he was a senior rescue chihuahua mix I adopted back in 2020, after I had a major surgery and was experiencing intense post surgery depression, and while I was going through college over Zoom. I have dealt with depression and suicidal ideation my whole life, and ever since adopting my sweet Spanky I always felt motivated to keep going and take care of myself so that I could be the best dog dad for him. He sat with me through so many long long cries, and hard days and weeks where I felt so lost and disconnected from myself. He never judged and always would encourage me to get outside or get moving around the house and get out of my funks. He even would go to therapy with me over zoom, and he was so tiny on my lap that only his little pointy ears would poke into my camera frame ❤️ In the end, he was experiencing seizures and heart failure that just became too hard for his little body to handle. I quit my job a few weeks ago to be with him 24/7 to spend every possible moment caring for and loving him while he was still with us. In his last 36 hours, I just gave him his meds and slept with him on the couch all day. Hours before he passed away, I cooked up a week’s worth of bland food to try to get his appetite back, and now he won’t even get to eat it 💔 Even though my heart is so broken losing my sweet little old man, I know that choosing euthanasia at the time that I did was the right thing to do 💔 prolonging his suffering just so I could have more days with him just wouldn’t be right, he didn’t deserve to be in pain the way he was 💔 I hope that someday I can rescue more senior pups like him and give them good golden years. Spanky saved my life just as much as I saved his ❤️ as sad as I am, I’m trying to keep walking every day and taking in all the sights in honor of his memory and all the walks I wish we could have kept taking together. Fly high little Spanky man ❤❤❤ thank you to this speaker for validating all of the pain that I feel right now

Wow, what compassion and love this amazing woman has. We need more like her in the industry of caring for our precious pets ❤

My pet was stolen from me and they refused to give him back to me ... I can't take it anymore this pain is killing me

Im not an easy crier, but i cried today when i was told that my childhood dog, adele, is dying. Shes going to be put down tomorrow, and ive never lost a pet like her before. Ive had her since i was 10, and im 23 now. Im so depressed and sick, im at a loss and just so angry. My poor baby.