Codependency Recovery: 7 Keys to Healing Yourself

Thanks!

Thank you❤

I finally feel like i can trust myself not to do drugs ...im taking therapy and rehabilation and my relationship with my sister is healthy, self rewarding, and determination to gain trust

Beautiful. Fellow alanon member here. 6 years now. Healing from codependency, I am a child of an alcoholic. I was the fixer, taking all the responsibility for others emotions, thinking I was only valued if I took care of others. It's a long road of recovery but it's so so so worth it. Still got lots to heal but I'm on the right path now, and love myself as I am, and recognise that I have valid needs in all my relationships ❤️❤️

Ditto!

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Great Information. Thank you!

7 Key Elements to Recovery
Unlearning dyfunctional behaviours learned in childhood
Relationships + Relationship with self
1. Build a healthy/solid relationship with yourself
2. Assess your relationships, do the negatives far outweigh the positives?
3. Set boundaries in your relationships, help us honour our own boundaries and needs
4. Feel your own feelings, you feel others feelings other than our own. Your body is where your feelings get stored. We can make dangerous assumptions of others
5. Address and identify enabling and controlling behaviours. We only have control of ourselves not others
6. Finding the right support. Al-anon meetings, Life Coach, Therapist, coda
7. Do your family of origin work. Pain of the past, childhood abuse and trauma
Building Self Trust, Intuition - Journal

Ditto

Indeed I thought I did intil my sisters both got dementia

Indeed I thought I did intil my sisters both got dementia

A process of unlearning unhealthy behaviors in relationships with self and others. 1) Build solid relationship with self. 2) Learn to assess our relationships i.e., stop the fixing, neg. outweighs the positive 3) Set boundaries in all relationships 4) Feel your OWN feels, not others 5) Identify enabling behaviorsi.e., doing too muvh, fixing, control 6) finding the right support 7)do family of origin work 8) Build self-trust

Wet love eachother but I left my life and hometown behind including my young adult kids for him and almost 2 years later it still doesn’t feel right to start for yurt long run and he can’t leave his town

YES!

Very good explained. Thank you.

Detachment and self care

I know that’s right

Ditto

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Ditto❤

Very good video.

Ditto

Ditto

Co-dependent Anonymous - who would know that there would be such a thing? Thanks for good summary.

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Ditto

Thank you so much

Ditto 💯

The pattern throughout my adult life tends to be, obviously because I am here, I keep choosing the same type of relationship. But the other pattern is that once I recover and find myself again I immediately lose myself once I get into a relationship. In finding myself after a relationship I spend all this time and effort becoming a well-rounded individual but the second I couple with someone I give all of that away and try and become “everything” for the relationship. I so easily give myself away and when I don’t get that same effort in return, I become empty and resentful.

Setting boundaries is useless. The relations you have now at this moment will not acknowledge these boundaries. They are used to walking all over you. I had to quit my job, leave my narcisissit husband and narcisissit father and i had to leave everyone and everything behind except my daughter. I now live in a small campervan with my early retirement pension. It's not easy, i have very little money but finally i'm no longer a slave or a robot. I am living my life ... finally 😊

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Yes

How do I do the tip that comes before the bonus one?

Ditto

I want to be free of this in my marriage and with my son.❤🙏

Help

Yes

This has been really helpful, and such an important guide to start healing and moving forward.

Wow! “I wanted to work on my relationships more than I wanted to work on myself” so true for me.

Ditto!!! 🎉

Ditto

Ditto

Its like codependancy is the polar opposite to the narccissist? I guess this is why narccissists always seem to be in a relationship with a co dependant person? We fuel them? Thank you for the video, I have just realised that the psychologist I was seeing fortnightly was trying to get me to do exactly what you are saying to do to recover from co dependancy. Why didnt he just tell me I am co dependant? I have exited a 17 year marriage nearly 2 years now, the lonelyness is a killer but I have started to take up hobbies I used to have as a kid. But I still feel empty and struggle with self worth, validating my feelings and even listening to them. Its a long road to recovery 😔

ditto

Yes)

I’m in the “setting boundaries” & “feel your own feelings” phase of this now. It’s ROUGH.

I am/was the “giver.” I’ve done so much work on figuring out why she did certain things. Only recently did I start figuring out why I am in this cycle.

It’s because of my mother. She passed away when I was 18 & I always felt the need to protect. Do everything I could for this person who often felt powerless.

The situation I found myself in last almost 3 years. The dynamic was great at the beginning! But the scales started to tip. I did EVERYTHING I could to help her - with work, mental health, physical health & family. She stopped growing. Her problems persisted while it took a drastic toll on me.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be with her again. I don’t know if I would want to be. But I hope the absolute best for her. She couldn’t grow with me; I hope she grows without me - because I am starting to be a better person without her.

Bittersweet.

Ditto

Great video. Your story resonates with me a lot. ❤

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