Zero Gender Dysphoria!? Gender Therapist Explains!

No...when people say they don't experience gender dysphoria at all, they mean they don't experience it at all. That's what they mean.
That you are talking them into believing that they must, is pretty disgusting.
Especially teens, as it is very normal for teens, especially girls, to feel unease and discomfort with their changing bodies. Usually we grow out of it. It doesn't necessarily mean they will end up being trans or that they have gender dysphoria. Its a natural part of transitioning to adulthood and you ought to know better.
I hope nobody makes a big mistake that can't be undone because they listened to you.

I feel discomfort about facial hair and body hair and a genitals I hate morning erection's and I've got this feeling many years now I'm 38years old

I'm pushing 70. I've always wanted to be a girl. That doesn't make me one. I was 25 before I ever heard of a possibility of SRS. Since then, I've considered it, along with all the other necessary surgeries, to be prohibitively expensive. I have never considered it probable that I could ever choose to be an acceptably attractive woman. Stoic acceptance is what I have always believed to be my only course. My dysphoria remains low simply because I can't afford to feed that wolf.

When the dam first broke for me I really did not experience much dysphoria. That changed after a few weeks. But, those first experiences telling me I must do something took a life their own. Quickly, I knew I could not go on the way I was. If there was dysphoria in those early stages it was the realization that I would have to begin a journey that had difficult pathways which I would need to learn to navigate. Soon I understood that for much of my life I had a sense my body does not match my mind. That was the beginning of gender dysphoria as typically experienced by trans people. Interesting though, the dysphoria was intertwined with euphoria because as I became clearer that my body did not match my mind I knew my authentic self is of female gender. That knowledge is euphoric. Now, I am ten months into transition and know it is the best life choice I have made. Like many trans people, I only wish I had done it earlier. Thankfully, the right time to start transition is when you start it.

I am biologically female, woman married to a man but I have always wanted to have a male chest and now at the age of 38 I still feel trapped by my quite large breasts.. I hate wearing binders,bras,skirts and dresses but I still can't identify myself as a man.. I identify myself as a non binary person biologically female, but with a male chest in my inner image.. I don't feel comfortable if people now called me with a male name.. because biologically I am female... and not intersex... however, because I suffer strongly from breast dysphoria over many years, I believe that in fact I suffer from gender dysphoria and that I am in fact a trans non binary person, biologically female with uterus and female periods...

Since yesterday, I’ve started binge watching your videos. I’ve always felt something was wrong with me and my body. Then, I discovered drag which I love doing but when partying I often cried, asking my friends (especially the trans ones) for help and telling them I am lost. The prime reason is than I don’t hate my male body and I thought it was an indication that I’m not trans. However I’ve watched this video and I understand now I experience mild disphoria. When I’m not in drag I feel I’m in drag (like my male presentation is like a costume) and when I’m in drag I feel myself. When people adress to me as « he » or « she » in everyday life, it doesn’t bother me at all but when then adress me as « he » when I’m in drag it hurts and makes me angry. When I’m in drag and they tell me « you don’t look like like a man in drag you just look like a woman » I have butterflies in my stomach. Suddenly, I remember how I use to put my sister’s clothes when I was little, how I cry so hard when I got ken dolls for Christmas because I asked for barbies, how I’ve never ever understood men and felt so much closer from women. Everyday is like acting, I fake a male walk and I force a strong male voice when my voice is kind of sweet. I unconsciously correct my attitude for it to be more male (in the archaic way of seeing it). When I was 14 I used to tell my friends I was a girl in a boy body and I thought that this was what every gay boy feel. My father forced me to be much male, to dress much like one, to act more like one and the more I grew up the more I felt discomfort with person I was. 2 years ago I came out as gender-fluid but I still don’t consider it to be true. I think it’s an feeling like when you realize you are gay but you convince yourself and tell everyone that you are bi. You say it in your videos : deeply we already know who we are. I’m a woman inside and I want it to be seen outside. I don’t want to hide behing drag anymore, I want to be myself all the time. I do have mild disphoria and that’s your video which made me realize it. So thank you so much and Love bless you. 🥰

This video was a relief to see after watching the one about what gender dysphoria is. When watching that video or hearing a lot of more severe accounts of gender dysphoria, it gives the impression that what I experience isn't really dysphoria. I'm not really someone who feels like it's outright painful to be a man. I don't look in the mirror and feel distressed or disgusted. It doesn't eat away at me on a daily basis and leave me absolutely miserable.

At the same time, I feel like, on some instinctive, subconscious level, I always would've preferred to be a woman had I been given the choice. I've had fantasies about it on and off from a very young age. I have a voice in my head that instinctively wishes I had a more feminine body or that I could dress in certain feminine clothing or that I could experience sex as a woman or that society treated me more like a woman in certain ways. Often times, that's followed by another voice in my head trying to "talk sense into me" and remind me of all the things that would suck about being a woman, but the instinctive reaction is still there.

Although I wouldn't say I view being a man as completely miserable, I also can't say I've ever really enjoyed it. In fact, I've sometimes been genuinely frustrated at the gender roles that go along with it, which often feel like a bad fit for my personality. I don't HATE looking at myself in the mirror, but I don't LIKE it, either, and I strongly dislike having to deal with body and facial hair, for example. Overall, I feel like my experience being a man is one of disappointment and frustration rather than outright misery. I've spent most of my life reluctantly accepting it even though it has often felt disappointing. It's like that ugly sweater that someone gives you for Christmas that you don't dare to tell them you don't like. I would've much rather gotten a different gift, but I guess I can still wear it to keep me warm.

I used to think that these gut feelings were just a case of "the grass is greener on the other side," but I'm beginning to think maybe those reactions mean something about me even if my gender doesn't cause me a lot of noticeable distress. Granted, I HAVE had noticeable distress, but I usually don't see any obvious connection to gender.

I usually don't really feel my dysphoria, as long as people don't let me know they see me as female. Which is why it never bothered me much when I worked in an all female environment. As soon as I started working in a male dominated field it got worse. The constant "yeah, but you're a woman" finally got me to realize that the grin I got when people called me a man may have been an indication that there was some gender fuckery going on. I'm going to keep working in the male environment for a while though, because it pays a lot better than 'female' jobs, and it will enable me to save up for top surgery.

You need it for hormones tho, right?

I’m usually quite a happy person so I’ll really have little to no dysphoria, but don’t let that fool you….when you live with someone who all they care about is politics at times…it can effect the way I see and look at myself….ex- (“75% are detransitioning, gay Mofia comment STD comment slurs blackmail or embarrassment blaming for “making” people gay when in reality I needed someone less unstable to talk too leads too- fucking tranny, why can’t I be normal, etc. I wish this was my body than this…..I need to stop etc.

For me it's weird. 99% of the time I'm fine being a dude. I dress the part and get euphoria from it. But very rarely I will get small periods of time were being more feminine just gives a huge boost in euphoria. I can't really do much because environment and how I look but I routinely find myself playing women in roleplay video games. Introducing myself as a girl in chat rooms even tried to dress as one but it kinda just looked more out of place.

So it’s the difference between feeling a bit glum and having clinical depression.
You don’t have to treat sadness the way you have to treat clinical depression.
But gender ideology means services are stretched for people with GD who really need those services, while those with a non-clinical form of dysphoria could use less invasive methods.

So I'm new to this. My egg cracked less than 2 months ago. And I'm also someone who says I don't have dysphoria. I don't mind my body. I like it even, to some degree. But I think I find much more euphoria through a female body than a male one.

I guess within the context of this video, my dysphoria is negligibly mild. But I also struggle with the pathologization of what it means to be trans. I may not be uncomfortable with my body but I definitely wish to begin GAHT.

.So... I've been wrestling with my sense of gender identity and sexuality for almost a year now. From my childhood experiences, and the way I presented and acted (I was very feminine and loved dresses) I thought I was a heterosexual girl. However, this summer everything changed for me. I started feeling mild body dysphoria, name dysphoria, and pronoun dysphoria. At first, I identified as a demigirl (or, a gender identity which is partially female and partially outside the binary) but the more I thought about it the more the term nonbinary stuck with me. I also thought I was pansexual, when in reality it was just my hypersexuality driven my mania running its course. I also have OCD and bipolar, which in turn; makes me question myself even more. Is this real or is it just my mental illness? I also had a traumatic event occur in which I was stalked by someone on campus, which in turn made my dysphoria much much worse to the point where I wanted to start hormones and cut off my boobs (which I never felt the desire to transition beforehand) So, to say the least; it's been hard. Because I don't know what is actually genuine and what's coming from a place of mental illness or trauma.

you are the problem

I vary greatly from day to day, usually ranging in the mild to moderate range but it depends on the day, what happened during the day and what happened the day before. For example if I had an amazing day the previous day where I could dress and act and look the way I feel then in general the next day I may reduce down from mild to very mild for that next day, where as other days if I say get out of the shower and make the mistake of looking in the mirror then the next say odds are I will go from being mild to being somewhere between moderate and slightly sever (normally only moderate), now it can even change greatly even within the same day if certain things are going on but that is very rare for me generally how I am feeling in the morning is how I am feeling all day and it isn't until the next morning that the previous day's experience impact me.

The thing that I find both as extremely lucky and extremely terrible at the same time is the fact that most the time I am only mild to moderate, because on one hand that makes getting through the days a lot easier which I feel so lucky for, but on the other hand I definitely invalidate my feelings as well because I feel like "well I don't feel as bad about myself as X therefore I must not have the problem that I know I have but because my case is not as bad as theirs it makes me super self conscious about how lucky I have it compared to them.

I've been raised as a girl for a very long time. I'm 23 now and only just now experiencing a sudden shift that I am not who I think I am. Now, it's very hard to tell if a certain traumatic experience is the cause of it somehow. But I really am not fond of saying fully what gender I am. I am not fond of seeming like I'm faking it. Some inner voice is just grating on me saying I'm not real. That something just broke in me, and a result of trama. That I've not suffered like my trans friends. Or I've spent too much time with them. And those thoughts make no sense to me and are wrong.

However, it seems I'm not a individual fully aware of oneself as much, because I was raised to be straight and as soon as I hit puberty and looked online I knew I was pansexual. And still am. So I know my sexuality very well. But my gender is a mystery.

I like the idea of having a penis, but also still having my original sex too. Or perhaps just my original sex is fine. I already have a infinity for wearing masculine clothes. But enjoy feminine things too.

Even if at the end of the day I turn out to be cis-gender after being confused about my gender for awhile. I just want a good solid answer. Feedback would be appreciated. Thank you for reading this paragraph haha.

The levels of dysphoria I've experienced throughout my life literally and physically range from zero to suicidal ... and are as fluid as my genders. I've gotten pretty skilled at coping and adjusting, as well as denying and suppressing...unfortunately. I wish this wasn't the case, but it is my reality and will likely/sadly remain as such since I am nearly 50

It's like lowering your standards so you dont get hurt

Edit: typo

Wow I really cried this was so awesome brought so much to light.

My dysphoria is mild, but I do experience it from time to time, its just not the same experience as for others. I have for example no discomfort with my bottom genitelia, but do with my top genitelia, or for example, I do have social dysphoria when someone refers to me with my biological pronouns and my mind definitely tells me that there is something wrong and that I am infact not a girl but somewhere there, Id like to say a boy. Its just that, the only thing that I have no problem with is my body. I only feel weird and uncomfortable, just no hatred or depression from it.
I do experience sometimes anxiety but that's as far as it goes (and it is not severe) this is why it was such a problem for me growing up to understand who I was and I was always questioning my gender, but deep down I knew there was something wrong.
and also I was convinced I was a boy until I was 7 years old
but, another thing that led me to be confused is that I did love feminine things such as fashion and sometimes makeup, but that doesn't stop me from being a trans ftm right? I am still unsure if this is a phase or not, and I do not know what to believe but I am certain that there is something wrong.
I also researched on detransitioners and I do not relate to them at all, so I don't think its a phase
also, I decided one day that I would be out online as trans and decided to experiment by using he/him pronouns and I found out that I was extremely euphoric, I loved being perceived online as a boy, and that slowly made me realise I wished I was a boy more and more and my dysphoria got a bit worse, but it was never to the extent that I was sad. Just weird uncomfortable and guilty

I have somewhat severe dysphoria. There are some days (rarely) where I feel comfortable in the gender I am. But I think it’s a temporary feeling of remembering past pleasant experience rather than not having the dysphoria in the first place.

You know I accepted the fact that some part of me may be (still not sure!) man. And whenever i feel masc it's only euphoria even tho i recognize my body doesn't fit it. And then I feel like femi and i get euphoria from that too! It's like pure euphoria and self-love for me wtf am i faking it?
Edit: i used to feel like some part of my personality is missing, like I'm broken and keep on breaking even more and my face isn't real and i am not a real person, but it lasted for a short period of time right before i accepted the possibility of me being genderfluid and have a part of my personality that is boy. Only then it completely disappeared. But it's important to say that i kinda felt something like that since early years. It just was... smaller, i felt like there is nothing inside of me that is making me a person and i felt like me being a girl is idk so small and insignificant, shallow, not completely alive. And now it all gone. What made it go away? The only action i can think of is me accepting the possibility that some side of me is a guy. Ah this is so good, I feel like I am gorgeous, like I am so just so ME, like a thousand percent me and I am so bright and real and alive... But i also started working on myself a bit, maybe that helped too. I was trying to figure out if i just need more confidence, but i realized that feeling a confident woman isn't enough to fill that hole, but feeling a man from time to time fills that hole completely and it's just feel so good. I also tried to question if there is something misogynistic that could play the role in this, but no! I look at gorgeous women in my life and them being women doesn't make them less of a person for me, it makes them who they are and it makes them beautiful in my eyes. The only woman who feels less of a person because she is woman for me is... Me. My friend says it's all just stereotypes in my head but nothing in my entire life ever felt more fulfilling and expressing and making me a person than just me allowing myself to be a man when i feel like I'm a man...

Before transitioning I would feel strong dysphoria. Then as soon as I transitioned it went away. This literally confused the hell out of me because I no longer hated myself and my body. I thought I had made a mistake. But I’ve come to realize that this is how I’m suppose to feel all along. I’m not suppose to have this inner battle of feeling like a boy and being a girl. For the first time in my life I’m comfterable in my own skin and I love myself.

I totally get some of this. I experienced zero dysphoria around stuff like what pronouns or gendered language people use for me, I almost never considered wearing women's clothes until I came out because I'm just as comfortable in men's, couldn'r care less if I pass as one gender or another unless for safety and that's rare, gender has nothing to do with why I hate my deadname and I was using my middle name, James, almost exclusively online for years when I came out. Which I kept as a 3rd name, the other being Renay. Like I never even thought about this stuff until after I started talking to other trans people online after I decided to transition. For the second time tried in 05 but I wasn't binary enough. Probably for the better I'm in Toronto and I'd have been sent to Blanchard. But it never occurred to me to even think about stuff like this because none of it makes me dysphoric. But I do find I very much like broadening my presentation to be masc, fem, and varying forms of androgyny. Basically it's all good for me. Except agender, that's a no.

But my body has caused me large amounts of very bigender dysphoria and euphoria for almost 30 years and that has shaped my priorities. And it very much shows.

Overall I'm not nearly as dysphoric as most other trans people I know even at my worst but actually dealing with it is not nearly as easy. Sometimes I envy binary trans people but I wouldn't want to be binary.

the link to your previous dysphoria video you mention at the start us not in the description box below (or I am blind which could be the case 😅) Much Love, thank you for what youre doing!

Ftm here. I don’t think I ever realized how disconnected and unattached from my body I felt in the context of gender until I started allowing myself to see myself as a man. In my mind and online, I see myself as a guy, and it makes me so happy and just feels right. In spaces where I don’t feel comfortable, like at home, school, or just out in public in general, I tend to withdraw and daydream or indulge in some solo activity. But, in the presence of my boyfriend of 2 years, who I feel so incredibly comfortable with to be my true self with no filters, shame, etc and where I feel loved and accepted, I feel more present. Although I feel this way around him, these feelings of wishing I had a male body and that people saw me as a guy have never gone away; they just laid dormant for a while while other parts of myself were being nurtured.

I recently told my boyfriend about my history of hating my body, my struggle during puberty and my overall disconnection with my body and how presenting as a guy makes me feel happy and more like myself. Although my overall emotions have been very numb for a long time, I started violently sobbing just from discussing this with him, which I was not expecting at all. It was so incredibly hard to even just start talking about it with him (I didn’t have nearly as much difficulty bringing up my childhood emotional/psychological trauma which had consumed my life for so long). The experience and my emotional reaction during it really affirmed how much discomfort I’ve been feeling for so long.

I may have only mild dysphoria, but I’m finally starting to accept that the joy I feel from presenting as a man is enough for me to go through with this. Since then, I’ve started letting this part of me show itself in reality, and it feels so amazing. I just ordered my first binder today and I’m about to email some local gender therapists to hopefully set up an appointment :) tysm for making these videos. I’ve been leaving a lot of comments recently on them as I sort out my thoughts haha. I hope it’s not too much. And to anyone else reading, I’d love to know if anyone has had a similar experience

Your clips have really been helping me understand and put things into a better perspective. There's so much none sense information about gender dysphoria/Trans that it's hard to form a more neutral opinion about it.

Personally, I have experienced very extreme dysphoria throughout my whole life! Often, it gets so intense, I just want the pain to end! Many times I have begged God to change me, but that hasn't happened! I'm living one day at a time and that's how I can "cope" with the true me for the moment!

Im still confused.

I've supressed my emotions since i was 10 (i think? Maybe longer idk) and now im getting dropkicked by all this gender stuff smh

My dysphoria is very mild. I used to say that I don't have dysphoria but then I realized that I don't have body dysphoria. My dysphoria is almost all social based. I'm not uncomfortable with my body. I'm uncomfortable with how society views and treats me because of my body. If people accepted a male person in a female-sexed body, then I wouldn't bother medically transitioning.

I thought I wasn’t trans for so long because I didn’t hate my body. I realized later that the reason I didn’t hate my body is because I’m basically as naturally feminine as you can get while being born male. Thinking about how it would feel if I was tall, or had wider shoulders or a deep voice made me feel awful.
Trying out being a girl brought to light the mild dysphoria you’re talking about because of how masculinity felt worse by comparison

I think the idea of dysphoria as one thing is not always the best way. I have very little dysphoria for most of my body and presentation.. maybe a 2... but I have huge amounts of dysphoria about my chest and hips. I don't usually say I have generalized dysphoria. Instead I say that I am dysphoric about my chest and hips.

Mine has always been severe. When I look in the mirror, I see the exact opposite of what my brain expects to see. So severe that most times I wish I wasn't even alive. So severe I hurt myself. So severe that I attempted to end it. Now I am getting help, after so long of punishing myself for something I wasn't even responsible for.

I am AFAB nonbinary and attracted primarily to cis males. What does that say about my nonbinary identity and sexual orientation?

I've repressed my feeling for most of my life and now feel nothing most of the time. i still feel things at times i just feel empty. I was made fun of by my mother and others growing up for being feminine so I've had to repress that for 34 years to avoid that. by lying about what i like and pretending to be more male than i am. i want to be a woman, not a man and I've known that for the past 14 years. i would love to change my body and just be myself. i have a million things to say, but do not know what to do.

Also, it is important to recognize that most or all of "dysphoric" experiences are reactions to discrimination. When black people experience discrimination, do we call it "blackness dysphoria?" NO. We call that racism. Feeling uncomfortable in your own skin is a normal reaction to living in a society that treats your differences as an illness. Do not validate discriminatory beliefs (transgender people are sick and disordered), or encourage transgender people to internalize them. It is irresponsible, especially if you are a credentialed professional.

It is important not to overpathologize transgender identities. Remember, transgender identities are a normal variation of human development. What this video basically says is that if a person claims they don't experience gender dysphoria, you don't believe them because that challenges your idea that the transgender experience MUST be associated with pathology, otherwise it does not make sense.

I absolutely love how scrolling through these comments, I see comments from years ago questioning if they're not cis, and see profile pictures that clearly show they've transitioned and are happy with themselves :)

As I commented on the first video, my feelings of dysphoria have waxed and waned over the last ~40 years. There were times that I actually wished I could "lose the third leg", so to speak; but there were also times (more often than the prior urge) where "borrowing" one of mom's swimsuits was able to assuage my urge to "be female" and sufficient to get me through to the next time. Upon mom's death in 2006, I started acquiring a wardrobe and dressing in private; over the years, it quietly built until I had the self-realization.

I feel like my dysphoria isn't severe, but also isn't mild, rather somewhere in the middle

ok..i started imagining myself as the opposite role in porn...(previouspy i did not) only in porn..not in real life...does this mean i am trans?..

She explains it so well thank you, I personally experience a lot of dysphoria but I’m really happy their are people like this lady who are sticking up for people and explaining well

I'd say my dysphoria is probably a 2 or 3 out of 5. It also shifts and changes along with my gender as I experience genderfluidity. So the type of dysphoria I experience and the severity of it can also change. This is why the topic of medical transition is a difficult one for me, because I know that my current feelings may change in a day, a month, or any amount of time, so I have to think carefully about what I can do for myself to make sure that I don't make decisions that are regretful.

As someone who's been questioning and flipping back and forth on it for a while now this and your other videos have been really helpful for trying to figure out who I am. Thank you for that!

For me I never really considered myself to have any form of Dysphoria really. I've just always had certain thoughts, even from a young age about wanting to be a girl or what it would be like to be a woman. When I was really young, around 6 or 7 or so, I was jealous of the kinds of outfits girls would be allowed to wear, the things they could do with their hair and stuff, looking pretty etc. I wasn't allowed to do any of that because I was a boy, boys had short hair and wore boys clothes and I just accepted it. I'd go to bed most nights wishing that I'd wake up the next day and I'd be a girl and allowed to do all of those things but it never happened.

As I got older I experimented with it a few times when I was a teenager but always just put it down to being a weird sexual thing because that's what it was always painted as in the media and on TV. I'd feel good and comfortable whenever I'd try on female clothing but afterwards I'd just feel this intense shame. I'd always do my best to try and push it out of my mind but I was never really satisfied with the way I looked. I've never really been comfortable with my voice either, whenever I hear it back it never feels like me speaking but always assumed that's something everyone experiences.

I guess for me it's more like a longing to be seen and become something different and be validated as that. I've just never truly been comfortable with being called a "man" - being referred to as that even now just makes me feel weird and just doesn't seem right. I figured it was just down to me getting older and not coming to terms with what it means to be an adult. I'm now fairly confident that all of this is probably a milder form of Dysphoria. I'm still not sure if I know what the correct answer to all of this is but hey, it's a start!

I am currently struggling with this topic... I have mild disphoria I think... I am mostly uncomfortable with my voice it's really deep and sometimes I get too uncomfortable to speak I'm also uncomfortable with my body.. I don't like how tall I am I don't like that my shoulders are too wide I hate that I have body hair... I've been asking myself if I'm trans for almost 3 years now.. at first I thought it was a phase but I'm still having problems with my gender... I feel really happy when someone sais I look like a girl.... I just don't understand.... If I want to talk to a therapist is there a specific type of therapists to go to or can I go to any therapist ?

Physically, I am male, but genderwise I identify as trans/non-binary/ambigender because I can present without discernible discomfort as either binary male or binary female, and indeed can swap freely between those presentations with no discernible shift of inner identity. Neither ever feels in any way "wrong", and I simply have no sense of "I am male" or "I am female" in terms of gender.

That said, I do definitely feel more comfortable in a female expression, which is why I do so more often, and indeed now do at work full-time. Maleness is not "uncomfortable" in any way I can sense or define except that it lacks the joy and "rightness" of femininity. Since I adopted a full-time female identity at work, co-workers have commented that I seem more relaxed, more confident and simply happier in myself. So there is a definite preference for one over the other, but it is because one is more right, not because one is right and one is wrong.

So it seems to me that the terms are basically broken! If I compare two chairs, one does not have to uncomfortable, even "mildly", for it to be less comfortable than the other. It can be but doesn't have to be. One number does not have to be negative, even slightly, for it to be smaller than another. And to me that is exactly analogous with gender.

And in fact the analogy goes further because one chair can be more uncomfortable than another without either necessarily being "comfortable". One negative number can be smaller than another negative number. People can be dysphoric in both binary genders, indeed is that not an exact description of many non-binary individuals? And if genders can be differently dysphoric, why not also differently euphoric?

To me, insisting that almost all trans people are dysphoric is clinging desperately to a terminology that doesn't quite work. In denial, I might even say... :-)

Can the discomfort also be considered as disassociation?