Coercive Control: Sneaky, Subtle & Sadistic Patterns of Domination

I was a supporter of this channel. But to state only men do this is a gross mischaracterization. The problem with this kind of thinking is that women are innocent in these situations. Ill state this now that, i dont condone or excuses abusive behavior. But in most cases i would go out on a limb to say women pushed men to the point which they resort to violemce. The mental games they play, the denial of those games, arguing just to argue. Everybody has a breaking point. Women often argue with understanding that they can say or do anything but it is against the rules to hit them. If we are honest with ourselves if it was against the rules to cause physical harm to somebody for crossing a line. We would be extreme assholes. So to suggest men are the only ones doing this is laughable. As far as phone and computer snooping women have been the only ones who have done this to me. I refuse to do it. I also refuse to hit women. But if im honest the thought crosses my mind. But i take a walk. Not for my sake for theirs. Violence only resolidifies this belief of being able to ssy anything you want to anybody. I may not hit a woman, but there are plenty of men who will. Whats more interesting is domestic violence cases are the highest in same sex relationships amoungst women..

Where are these sadistic ladies at and are the married? Asking for a friend......

After I went away he moved on to my child, and family court allows this by prioritizing his parental rights over my childs safety.

Those who do coercive control are toxic, evil and weak. Because they have to exert control over a smaller person. You will never see it if a bigger person than them faced them down. Sickening.

Spread the word about this, psychopathy, and narcissistic people as much as you can, and how they operate. That's the only way to defeat them. Education, and standing up to them.

People also think ots all about men getting jealous and I secure when women go to a night out. The campaign commercials are giving g the wrong impression of coersive Control and not demonstrating wider examples

I’m dealing with this from my sister and brother and it’s killing me. I will never overcome the trauma they have caused.

How can I contact you?

HOW does a victim get out from an abusive situation without the resources to leave, find somewhere to live, afford deposits, attorney, etc… my husband controls his income and savings.

Women in the study in UK were not “involved” in the brutal physical abuse described, nor rape.
They were assaulted.
Assault & Coercion are based on Power & Control, the very thing these women didn’t have during the assaults & attacks on them.
The responsibility for the violence remains always with the Perpetrator.
It’s as ridiculous as saying a robbery occurs as a result of owning a purse or wallet.

You are way too sweet talked. Your talks do not cover the true horrors.

People have no issues with hurting others, all they'll do is justify it,which is very easy,especially in groups,the internet has made ganging up on others popular,people will sit by and watch while a group is treating someone like a human kick ball,people will ban together laugh and have a good time,our world has become highly narcissistic.

It's happened to me and I need to recover from, religious gaslighting.

I think many of us are still getting away with coercive control because of the freedom of speech idea. We have liberties to pretty much speak freely. And yet we use our freedom of speech so abusively to hurt each other. With many of us have become very skilled at disguising hurtful remarks with being loving and caring, etc.

Is it coercion to keep asking me who I’m texting what I’m doing on my iPhone consistently?
Surveillance ? Always asking what I’m going steer in going in a married life of 28 years?

What is the corrosive control law in America? Is yr in every state?

Notice how this woke nonsense is woven into everything? "Male privilidge". I can't help but notice the woke cult is EXACTLY like the narc in every single way. Exactly. To a tee. Like they're possessed by the same pure evil. One group of jackels bullying healthy people while hiding under a veneer of a rainbow flag.

Women do this to men and it is not Identified as it should be. If people get anything out of information, GET this UNDENIABLE FACT and take it seriously.

Excellent my toxic person was everything you mentioned it was like a norm for her I was never ever right, she told me I have to listen to her and not believe wat I see like her texting someone else or sharing location, always putting down in everything I do , complaining and controlling everything from conversations (All) wat we do and never take interest in anything I say zero or do felt alone for along time isolated stole money from me copies of my keys always going through my belongings from my vehicles clothes Everything I set up recordings and my trail cam and I couldn't believe wat I saw while I was asleep and away for work and denie Everything, they will go to there grave lying promise u that everytime I try to move out it was hell 6 times in a 18+ mo, goasting me etc

My female doctor,more than 12 years younger than me, MARRIED mother of FOUR, attractive, lured me to her office for a regular physical in order to continue receiving the ongoing prescription of Prozac she’d started me on two years earlier. It was during this visit that at one point she commanded me to remove my underwear (which I had kept on under the gown), ordered me back onto the table and proceeded to sexually assault me right in front of a female nurse. I got totally TRICKED and BAMBOOZLED. I was in SHOCK and felt TERROR during this part of the “examination.”

After tossing things around in my head and doing LOTS of research and talking to different people including SA advocates which took MONTHS, it seemed like the appropriate thing to do was to file a police report. Numerous officers told me to my face, what she did didn’t constitute sexual abuse.

Hi I experience this from my wife that I divorcing. Prior to the divorce proceedings and ongoing now. She stalks me. Is abusive both mentally and physically. I am a hostage. Have death threats and right now have our boy of 6 with me for past year. Things are getting worse. I have had paraffin poured around my bed at 1am in the morning. With her trying to set the room alight with my boy next to me. The police are useless. I fear once the divorce goes through my life will be under danger.

I've been going through this for 5 yrs in Calgary Alberta Canada And have no one believing me as the police are even involved in some incidents and have everything taken from me by police and can't obtain work. Gangstalking is a major thing but ppl say your crazy or drug addict when you talk about it. I want to make this known spoken about and recognized where I live as I've lost friends to suicide and murder and jail as to being setup for crimes didn't commit

Just stop dating. If you're in a relationship, get out of it. Be self-sufficient. Nobody needs another person in their life.

That's flat out domestic violence/abuse defined

Emotional abuse is far more insidious. It happens over a longer period of time with manipulation, gaslighting and lies and it eventually leads to physical abuse.😢
Men are abused too.

My ex boyfriend used to tell me (not ask) to wear sexy clothes .what shoes to wear .i prefer boots he didnt like them.Ask me to keep my makeup on after a very late evening out,4am.i was tired .i think he wanted sex .Other occasions he would try to wake me up for sex in the middle of the night. He never hit me but he seemed controllingHe then started accusing me of using him .He would go on about his ex had used him. it it became a pattern of accusations and me defending self. He was also a sulker like a baby. He was an intelligent man but controlling

❤social Standing, social capital & social unattractive A multi dementional organized subsystemic used for coercive abuse systemic ❤❤❤for lifestyle markets by products ❤❤❤

I wish I would have known this term 9 years ago, when I met my monster of an ex. He groomed me over time to be his sex slave, ended up almost strangling me to death a couple years ago. I foolishly went back to him two years later after no contact, because he said he had been to rehab and was working a program (he's an alcohlic and cocaine/meth addict). This was not the case. He is still drinking and choking women out. He had to move to a whole different town because he's a repeat offender and I'm not the only woman he has raped/sexually assaulted. It disgusts me because he has all these wonderful reviews on google about his "budtending" at a local company, mostly from women he's probably grooming. I don't know if I'll ever be the same. Are there any deprogramming resources anyone can recommend?

Religious leaders use Coercive control.

It happens to men too. Don't believe it can only happen to women. You have no idea how damaging it is to hear people say it is only men who do this to women...

Hi Roberta thank you so much for your wonderful program. I just wanted to say and support some one else’s comment .
that I read and say that it’s definitely not only men that do this.
I know this for a fact for my family has suffered dreadfully because of a Coercively controlling women she has totally isolated my ex-husband so he can’t see his children and now his grandsons it’s a very sad situation so I just wanted to say that yeah it’s not gender specific it’s definitely both genders are capable of this evil practice of Coercive control. Thank You again Roberta God✝️ Bless you and yours in 2024 and always. ❤
SherrilL.Carss

Gratitude for this. For all those battling abuse, there is hope. May you Remember your worth and find your way to interal peace and joy again.

Why cant people, especially women, just enjoy sex for its own sake?

My ex was a mathematician. He sat next to me and he said he was working on equations. No, he had a code. When I talked he would plot and plan whatever was important to me he would covert into numbers (code) and then he knew exactly how to undermine me. Theynever ever care so never ever tell them that you are hurting.

Is anyone familiar with the Gabby Petito story? That same summer I called out the police. It was 8 a.m. and I had a flat tire and I wanted the key to my dad’s truck. They told me no and they said I needed to stay home and go to bed. Every time I call I get the same result because he’s a convincing psychopath

The algorithm trying to make me believe I did this to my ex wife. Perhaps I did to a small degree. But she wasn't an angel either.

I'm going to go against the general consensus and theorize that a % of the coercive control cases might be husband's or partner's in relationships with passive aggressive avoident and narcissistic women or women who married for insincere reasons such as security, tradition, wealth etc or who have fallen out of love or no longer find their man attractive.

So has the academic community investigated that? I have recently read about reactive abuse connected to PTSD when suffering from narcisist or avoident abuse which from females is often passive aggressive and involves sex and affection denial. Wonder what the experts say about that..

Also what isn't addressed is if regular coercive abusers do that because otherwise they might only receive sex once a year. Wouldn't withholding sex be abuse in it's own right? Especially in Western countries excluding one's such as Germany which are very progressive about women not needing big divorce settlements for feminism reason's.

So with men stuck between a rock and a hard place. Not wanting to divorce ( of course a % do) or have an affair they do the only thing in their stressed neglected state they can. Try to coerce their partner. Perhaps it normally starts romantically, then a massage, then one Valentines day at 2AM it aggravates to a hand passing over their wives leg and when she brushes it away it degenerates to begging and when that doesn't work he threatens divorce and when that fails he leaves the room and says he's going to watch porn.

All the above however light would be catagorized as cohesive abuse. But again this might be reactive so I think someone perhaps yourself could study reactive cohersive abuse to find out it's frequency.

Please don't label any woman in this awful situation a doormat. She is not. She is more likely paralyzed, having to consider the consequences of every action from every angle, knowing everything is a trap. Her decisions are not her own. A doormat lays down where it belongs to be walked on. It implies her place. I'm not intending to take anything away from your hugely important message. I'm grateful for your insight.

I feel like a lot of theee guys coerce & control woman because they want to have rough anal sex & know she won't want to so he manipulates her however he can. Enjoying her agony as he victimized them when violently Sodomizing them. So sad

What about the female masochistic issue then? Issues arise according to gender traits, bent.Thanks, - I wish tere was a video on this subject done by people in authority, getting the support, sanctions rom police, Drs, psych, the courts...

Aries here, him Pisces. I've pulled all the way back, my energy all of it. I got things to do. I can't teach you how to treat me, but I can show you how you NOT gon treat me

I'm just digusted by the rampant sexism in these kinds of podcasts. I was interested until I heard them blame men and is vile. I lose total respect for sexist narratives of any kind.

I know more than 90% of men have been hit by women yet no one cares of course. Violence against men is unreported because it's not as exaggerated but likely far more common.

Coercive control, especially in the beginning stages of isolation and dominance, takes a village or flying monkeys, aka the agents of the narcissist.
Sometimes it's the flying monkeys (agents of the narcissist) who should be involving law enforcement because they have more evidence on the perpetrators. Stalking, smear, doxing, and promoting hatred takes a village-especially, roommates, coworkers, family members, . Eventually, one or two or three flying monkeys get sick of the narc-game and will call it out.

My ex wife did these things to me

As a male I unfortunately deal with this type of behavior from my controlling narcissistic father and his flying monkeys especially gaslighting, double standards and bullying being told lies constantly. Feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells around them!

The only effective and correct way to handle such situations is through judicial means and by enforcing the law. Period.

There is also a astrologer who brings innocent people in a coercive control relationships with violence and after that they cry false crocodiletears while they have caused it. Take away your power destiny fate reversal and your star and light. They take you down to feel good about themselves, overcompensation and the victim survivor is conditioned to be the peoplepleasing part in the family or the familyscapegoat and the familyscapegoat can be in the outside world also be at risk. You are doing things agains your will and what you feel. You feel bad about the things you are doing and follow instructions blindly while you don"t feel good at it. Betrayal and abuse of trust is their trademark and the whole family and children are the same and also the outside world can do the same. In a dependency relationship emotional and financial. People who are in a vulnerable position. They make you feel less and are feeling superior. Feeling powerless. Take your power back. People who are experienced and who are understanding and non judgemental. In this relatonship you can"t function properly. Knowing the do"s and the don"ts from people who have practiced so it will succeed in practice. No contact to find an own identity where you can be free and feel free. Being on your own and feel finally free. People who understand this from the inside out and know where you are dealing with. . .

For anyone in a questionable situation, if you are sleeping and your partner accidentally hits you in their sleep, be aware it may not be an accident. Mine started with his elbow, using it to hit me in the head, I genuinely thought it was unintentional. I think it was a test based on what he did and said later.

Any man who sees the inconsistencies here should read the manipulated man by ester vilar … you will most likely come to the conclusion that women are the primary perpetrators of coercive control …

Also stay away from women with borderline personality disorder they will use these laws against you after her abuse is exposed they will claim to be the victim.

The silent treatment used by my ex wife my mother defines the clear psychosocial marriage used by women to control the shell shocked men returning from WW2 .
Women who were becoming a stronger force dominated weak men.
My dad and my uncles were my mentors who never held back about their wives and chose pubs to escape for male support