Jordan Peterson - What Nobody Tells You About Growing up

I betrayed myself my life and my true desires because I thought it would disappoint my father. Now I can’t seem to connect to my old life again. I think I have to start totally new now

I really care what my dad thinks about me. I want him to see me as hard working, practical, etc.(which i am not) Although i know for a fact that he would never think i would be better than him or surpass him in anything. I am struggling to decide wether i should keep doing family business (which i dont hate but its not my dream and the business is not going well) and prove him wrong or just leave everything for him to handle on his own.

It's funny as I have a complex relationship with my father. He pushed me as a kid to be superb sportsman, he's a DIY expert ( he won't admit it ) a hands-on guy, he taught me logical thinking around problem solving. I excelled in tech and computing "leaving him in the dust" but using his ideas he taught me about logical problem solving and it's why I was able to excell.

I was about 17 when he finally admitted that I was on a trajectory to be better than him at something he started me on, he was proud of what he'd done for me but I could also see his deperation to keep up with me even though he knew he never would. He's 82 now and in my 50s and he still reveres my tech knowledge, calls me to bounce ideas off me and asks me for help, in turn I do likewise with home DIY and mechanics on my car, practical stuff I don't know much about. We had a strained relationship growing up as he would push me so damn hard to win at any cost in my chosen sport, constant training regime and competitions that I hated him so much. However over the last 30 years, especially after my mum died 20 years ago, I learned to love him as the flawed person he is.

He's not perfect, he has a lot of faults some of which I hate as I know I have them too, a childish temper to name one, but now as he's getting much older we get along very well indeed. We work on projects together respecting each other's expertise in our own areas. Sometimes it can take a lifetime to learn some things about yourself and your parents.

Thanks

With me the thing is that I've been taking action and fighting the fight to Man Up yet it seems as if my Father actually wants to prevent me from manning up and keep me in boy status. As well as he wants me to care for him and be his provider! We've been in so many fights about this! It pisses me off because I'm not holding me/myself back! Especially after I've put in the Hard/Smart WORK! 🤨
I'M also doing my best to be Cool Patient Focused Positive and Trust/Faith The Process!

Wait you change when you grow older also no one told me my fucking parents would die. That’s a shocker my grandma hasn’t died

He explains to us, that we grow. We were not made, by some mystical cloud daddy. Keep growing!

lets get the shit back together

The gut wrenching truth is I had to grow up at an early age and learn everything on my own. Both parents did nothing with their lives. Mother died in my realy 20s. She was bitter about life and did not believe in me. My father is still alive, he treated me like my feelings and opinions did not mean anything. Fast foward 43yrs and he admitted that he really f(+-/d up. But in his mind it was so I can be that little kid again. So he can try to boss around. He was dead wrong. I have proven to myself that I do not need no one. Parents want kids but do not realize what it means to actually raise them.

Growing up raised by mom I tried looking for a father figure to discipline me so badly I almost joined the military but thankfully I lost interest and realized that I can just be my own dad and discipline myself

I moved out at 19. I'm 20 rn, life is good (I joined the army)

I am Peter pan . And Pinocchio 😢

One day i asked my mother what i should do. My mother said "you're an adult, i can't tell you what to do, you have to figure out what you want to do"
In that moment i thought to myself "but y'all have been boasing me around my entire life, dads been telling me im stupid and judging my every action, a d now.....just....nothing???? I want a refund, this is bs ...."

Life is too hard

As a child my father joked with us that he could fly, and we believed him, my brother and i were 6 years old, at the time we didnt realise he meant on a plane, although he was aware of our ignorance and played along with it, took until i was 11 to start questioning everything they said and 15 when abstract thinking developed for me to understand reality at an equivalent or superior level to them, one parent in particular. Perhaps why i grew up so fast and perhaps why i gained a higher resolution understand of reality as peterson would say.

27 and coming to terms with the fact my mother is far from perfect and my father is not as wise as he thinks, it’s definitely an eye opener and a feeling no other experience quite comes close to, it is painful in it’s ways, the only other feeling I can think of that even comes close is when you’re a child and they ask you to jump in the swimming pool before you can swim trust that the armbands will keep you from drowning

i'm at the point where they can't answer some questions that i ask

I wish I had the luxury to be a Kid but my Childhood was too intense for that.
Both my Parents were in the Army National Guard so nobody was there to hold my hand I had to take care of myself my whole childhood.
Even in School I got the tough stick of discipline whenever I raised my hand when I needed help and the Teacher kept my hand hanging it gave me a reminder that the only person I can rely on is myself.

Then corporate life fuk man earning money responsibility of parents family wife children, loan insurance, finance.
Corporate tention, health issues,

you don't know what a big problem you took of my chest with the parents opinion and why it matters more than others because all this time I would yell them I can't listen to you about anything there are stuff you can't tell me and others you can...of course I would feel unsafe I mean I hade my doubts and now you confirmed it

I'm 22 and I grew up slowly
Mentally and when it hit me that it was my time I panicked
But I've learnt how to deal with it

Something you gotta realize when you grow up is

You are no longer part of the family…

When you are gone long enough, for me it took 9 months.

The way you clean, the way you eat, the way the AC is handled

Is all done differently

You can’t be completely different, and still be part of the family

Now they don’t love you any less, but you are no longer part of the inner circle of trust, heck even close friends are closer in then you are at that point

It sucks but you just have to get used to it and move on

As a wise man once said
It is what it is…

Growing up kinda sucks
But it’s a fact of life
The young bird leaves the nest, and will be responsible for finding his own food, fighting his own battles
And nursing his own injuries…

I have to say, this is one of the few times I have to disagree with Jordan. I think it's absolutely logically to care more about what your parents think of you than aquantances/friends of your parents... Or even people in general. Why would I care more about people who aren't in my friend/family zone and are potentially a couple generations older. If I do something embarrassing/rude/wrong or anything... Why would I allow people I barely know rent space in my head? But my parents are family... and there's meaning in that.

I think that there are other, more mundane reasons to value the opinion of your parents more than other people, for example, parents have less reason to deceive you, moreover, their opinion affects your relationship with them, and relationships with them determine how much they are ready to help you financially and morally

My family put me in absolute misery and they want to go to heaven where they think they are already and I'm not even like we'll see I hope they go straight to HELL

This is literally getting out of the military

If I have to become independent myself, I start my own personal Hero's Journey. I must leave my home, my old familiar, so that the unknown world I enter can become my new familiar.

I'm 29 and I'm slowly becoming the one that actually take care of my parents, sometimes I want to rely on them but I can't

Please remove the stupid image of a greek "god" (false god myth) from this video. There is decent content but that kind of polytheistic filth is very offensive to those who are Monotheistic and know that it is wrong to anthromorphize The Creator.

Be grateful cuz after this when you guys become parent you’d be far better than current typical parents

Of q

😮 thank god education made me realise about tyrannical slave of parent’s
Thanks for the video

Making money early.

Under age kids thinking about the working world .

When I was a toddler I thought about work some news of some kids making money earlier in life . Entrepreneur started to early in age .

Most youth when they are young are thinking about work .

Wow
This is deep
I need to watch this again

I am at a point where symbolic death has taken place after a really painful period of my life when my parents couldn't help me cz they didn't know any better. I feel free now but regret a lot. If only their god image had been shattered before, I wouldn't have made such foolish decisions in life just to please them.

My dad is an ex sas paratrooper but he can’t deal with family issues whatsoever i fact he himself is a big issue in my family he is violent and because of not having much of an education because he was born in the 60s and was able to join the army at 16 without any qualifications he doesn’t understand me and controls and cohersed my mum to do everything for him while he just sat and watched the TV and he would do the most unimaginable things you would think a father would never do he would talk bad about me and my mum to his family behind our backs he made me and my sibilings resent each other but finally he was kicked out the house but because my mum doesn’t know any better she subconsciously believes all men are controlling and I can tell because every time I tell her how to solve something with good reason she will turn that into an argument and eventually will say I’m just like my dad if I become too verbally aggressive and I’ve learnt to just play her at her own game she makes me feel like I’m dependant on her even though I know how to be independent I’m currently studying for a degree to hopefully move out but until then I’m being tortured by my mum emotionally she is draining and she drains herself as works too much but I still love her as she has always been by my side yet I still need to get out for my own good

hey any one know where the full lecture is ?

With the current ongoing pandemic, and the aftermath of the initial lockdowns and quarantines plus the economic/housing crisis going on now... How the fuck are we supposed to do this? In my case, i was ready to move out about 6 months before the pandemic turned everything to shit, even where i live now is under my name but due to all these unforeseen circumstances, my parents had to move in together with me. The simplistic "find a better job or a cheaper place" argument is not cutting it nowadays...

Ill be independent one day.

When you stop taking money from your father, your father is dead symbolically.

we believe our parents opinion is more important because they actually want us to do better, to be better

A good parent teaches his children to resolve problems. So they do not need to come back for answers, but just for the pleasure of sharing time together.

My parents are losers so the rich men make sure I am. My mom abused me growing up and now I’m grown up the rich men abuse me to make sure I’m a loser like my parents. I was born to be abused come on everyone take your free shots.

My mother was emotionally unavailable so I raised myself and became very independent at a very early age age 10 and it continued to my adulthood. Must things I know today I taught myself without my mother teaching me and even when I became a parent I taught myself how to parent a child at age 22 without the help of my mother or family. At age 22 I got my own home and built my family life with a baby and to my mother she was never pleased for me but was envious and jealous for my achievement because I did it without her because she expected me to crawl back to her for help but I didn't.

Honestly to blame our parents for anything is a weak statement we all need to deal with the cards were dealt things are hard for most and lavish for some what we make of ourselves though is what life will be