What is meant by "Authenticity"?: Gabor Maté

Just what I need to do..find myself again..gotten so sick from over stress..lost the sight in my one eye..battling with my other eye..yes time to pay attention and find myself again❤

So truee Dr. GABOR I havent been authentic for 29 years at all always pleasingbpeople never connected to my body emotions to my gut feelings even i was always feeling responsible for other people and their moods and pain leavibg and abandoning myself

My only problem with this is sometimes it's not about what you are feeling at the time Raul calls for a coffee. Maybe Raul is going thru something, maybe you don't realise in the moment you 'connect with your gut' that u actually do need to give up a little of your time cos it might help you. I don't see how sacrificing (sometimes!) a little of your time makes you less authentic. This is the difference between now is not a good time and is this small inconvenience harming me?

I stumbled on this by chance! And I was lucky.

He nails it .

..repeating it in my words. .to know your authentic self, pay attention to the times when your choices cause you to get unsettled from the inside....and as you pay attention, avoid judging yourself, but use the opportunity to think deeply about the 'what exactly,' and 'why' of that unsettling feeling!!

Thanks!!

This video deserves waaaaaay more views..like in the millions!

Hi, Look up the Ishaya's Ascension

Wow, now I know why I hated myself. Because wasn't being authentic.

Thank you Gabor, I finally understood what authenticity mean & am sure this will improve my lives.

Unfortunately being authentic for me has lead to being abandoned. I know that it was for my own good but it just doesn’t feel that way right now. Trying not to live in the past but it’s so difficult when you wake up one day and realize that you’re alone. I never thought about that. The possibility of ending up alone in my later years…. I’m blessed with a wonderful job and I’m grateful every day but it doesn’t change the fact that I come home to no one. I never expected it. There must be a good reason why so onward with the journey…😌

“You Authentic Self.” Don’t let anything define you.

Have you ever found yourself promising to yourself to be authentic then the next day, you're still lost in the crowd?

I bleddy love you Gabor 🤗

Every time I notice, I feel so fake, I’m sick of myself, or better say the non self.

Thank you Gabor, your wisdom and compassionate approach is most helpful in this earthquake like process I’m intensely in.

damm !why so few translations for us poor french people with poor level english? 😪

“Being cut off from our own natural self-compassion is one of the greatest impairments we can suffer. Along with our ability to feel our own pain go our best hopes for healing, dignity and love. What seems nonadapative and self-harming in the present was, at some point in our lives, an adaptation to help us endure what we then had to go through. If people are addicted to self-soothing behaviours, it's only because in their formative years they did not receive the soothing they needed. Such understanding helps delete toxic self-judgment on the past and supports responsibility for the now. Hence the need for compassionate self-inquiry.”

- Gabor Maté, in "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction".

This man deserves a Nobel Prize for his work.

I dont know what is myself. Help.

The mental health industry isn’t very authentic though. Help is only as good as the money in your pocket. It’s sink or swim for the poor. Our life choices shrink our care choices can be non existent. We wait to receive what’s available. It’s not always great or cathartic.
We live or die by the system!
It’s all authentic it’s our mud map or stepping stones. Insight comes or it doesn’t. Our separateness from the whole is the first and all encompassing cause of insanity.
Those purporting to have great mental health in an insane world are the worry. Pay as u go helps nobody and nobody is helped, when half the world is left behind.

This would solve so much .

One thing I need to disagree with, in my life personally, that I wish Dr Mate would take into consideration, is that not everyone experiences the trauma that ends up shaping you and gives you these results of poor health etc in childhood. What about people who end up married to abusers? Or my situation! I had a great childhood even though I had an alcoholic father, they were just funny stories that we would hear about to do with my father's escapades, he and his friend changed seats when they got pulled over and one of them was drunk driving, my dad woke up the whole house one night when he was sitting in front of the stereo on the floor with headphones on, but he had flipped the switch that caused the music that was extremely loud, to come out of the headphones and the speakers. So when we saw him sitting there listening to his Beatles we just thought it was kind of funny.

Fast forward to me being in my early twenties and my mother passing away when I was 25 at age 46 from cancer, years of cancer, I ended up becoming very, very low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and low self-worth because my family which on my dad's side included almost everyone an alcoholic, and I now drank to excess with them every time I saw them, because that was just what we all did.

Well they were all abusive towards me when they were drinking heavily, even when they had not had really very much to drink. And all throughout my twenties, (throughout my life till now, age 52,) while I was trying desperately to find out where I fit, and get over my mother's death, I would say to myself every time I came home from drinking all night with them to the point of extreme inebriation, why do I always come home from visiting with my family with * lower* self-esteem than I had before I went? Shouldnt it be the other way around???? This happened every single time I spent time with them all throughout my twenties. So my family took advantage of the fact that they got some kind of liquid courage from the alcohol that caused them to feel that they could abuse me emotionally, and I became a binge drinker with serious addiction issues to other substances, he's right there in that I was desperate to escape the suffering, through always drinking while assciating with my family.

So my trauma with my family members has occurred throughout my entire adult life, not in childhood at all. The way I perceive it, they became abusive once I was a threat: once I had what they were jealous of, my whole life in front of me, and endless potential. But they made pretty quick work of that, I was so destroyed by them I didn't have a chance at life. And I now no longer speak to either my father or my sister because of their abuses, and am instantly triggered by bullies in the workplace, etc. which is kind of ruining my life, because I don't know how to control my anger, which is usually the way I respond.

And it would be great if he could also occasionally mention endometriosis! I have had this since 2007, with 8 years pain-free after a full hysterectomy. But I myself ended up bringing it back into my life when I was wrongfully terminated, and at one point experienced constructive dismissal, with my boss taking away a large part of my job when I forgot something. I took the drastic step of taking an estrogen supplement, which has caused pain to ramp up over two and a half years, and I've been on medical leave for a year almost. So. Not just childhood trauma, emotional abuse at any point, and please mention endometriosis because there is a lot to back up this illness actually being brought on by trauma.

He answered all the questions I had about the meaning of authentic!

The worst thing that one can do to oneself is to become fragmented, broken up, like humpty dumpty, who couldn't be put back together again. This precisely happens when you stop believing in yourselves.

Gabor’s “interview” of a minor British prince was revealing of Gabor’s own character. Sorry to say I can’t watch or listen to Gabor ever again.

This reminds me of when Meghan, Duchess of Sussex said she wasn't going to the King's Coronation because it would be 'inauthentic' Good for her.

Gabor🎉 thank you!

Ah, but when you are authentic, being true to your innate self confidence, intelligence and extensive knowledge of something (after 55 years) and you are a woman, people don't like that. It doesn't fit with their idea of what a woman should be. So you can be authentic and lonely or tone it down a bit and have some company. I'm not saying don't be yourself, I'm saying know and value who you are, but don't show it all to people who cant take it.

A good movie to watch for a debate on this issue is A MAN CALLED OTTO. Is he (the main character in the movie) being authentic by being an SOB, or does he realizes that one needs to move on and be a better person? Life can turn you into a neurotic person and you maybe feel authentic in how you feel, but where does it end?

Entirely possible to be authentic while sacrificing a bit for others. As long as you know how you really feel and what your reasons are for not indulging your own interests or preferences. 'Oh, ok, I'm not in the mood for this right now but I'll choose to do it because...' It's not always a betrayal of the self. We are social creatures and that's every bit as much a part of our authenticity.

In teaching about sexual abuse, we emphasize that if you can't say no, you also can't honestly say yes. I think the same applies with our authenticity in general. But a world where everyone is always socially "authentic" about their own interests is a world I wouldn't want to live in.

Things go right when we’re authentic.

Great.. I made myself extremely ill by trying to make people happy. It's a difficult habit to break. I've noticed in myself and other people how we end up getting angry when we're asked to do things because we've already done so much and we are on the edge, and the other person simply doesn't recognise that. I think the opposite is assertiveness where you're able to express yourself in a calm way without getting angry. Takes some practice. Especially with people you feel have been using you.

My entire life I have not been authentic and boy have I suffered( and still am) for it. Lately, after listening to Gabor Maté, I have been learning to say no, I've done it a couple times and boy did it feel good and I was so proud of myself. Thank you!

Thank you. Downey library. Frank Martinez ❤❤❤❤❤

I wonder what he means by "shining in a number of dimensions"?

I disagree with one point; that humans are the only creatures to trade authenticity for attachment. It it obvious to me that many animals (especially domesticated ones, but not exclusively) are conditioned to behave in certain ways in order to maintain their attachments and be accepted by their companions and/or social groups. Even in the wild, this is clearly observable. It's a predicament we all must manage.

Things always went very wrong when I ignored authentic self. I learned the hard way.😥

🌀

I don't quite understand the example. There are plenty of times when I was tired and didn't feel like meeting up with someone. I recognised it, went anyway, and ended up enjoying myself authentically and glad I pushed through what was only a temporary feeling based on the time of day or having just eaten or whatever. I'm not sure at what point the inauthenticity appears in the video's example. I'm either missing something or it's a poor example!

why is there so little of him lately?

Would be good if he could sometimes use the term for not being authentic; Fawning.