How to Deal with Difficult People----Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan

Mash Allah thanks for all your work.❤❤

But what if they don't change, what if they continue to be abusive?

Jazakallah khair ya Shaikh

Assalamu alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. The key take away for me from this lecture is what Prophet Issa AS said "love your enemies" meaning (fome me) not to love them literally, but to pray for them. It is very difficult to do so especially if trauma is involved. There is no need to cut blood relations but to stay away from them may be the best move so that we will be able to heal and not be reminded on a daily basis (come on, we are human beings! 😁) . Then from a distance, we may find it in our hearts to pray for them and pray for ourselves that we be able to "forgive" . In shall ALLAH, we will move forward (our own version of forgiveness because it is ALLAH AWJ who can truly forgive) , and maybe, just maybe, those who have hurt us will be blessed by ALLAH AWJ with tawbah and make it up to us or do the good deed to others. I heard from a separate lecture that ALLAH AWJ will take the enmity from our hearts and enemies will be facing each other in Jannah. And ALLAH AWJ knows best.

❤ Allah knows best

Average person is not built to take constant narcissist abuse. It is better for people to build strong boundaries against toxic people.

❤❤❤

In suratul baqara, Allah swt has made everything clear about husband and wife. About every other situation, i think , depends on each situation

Some people can't poke & insult to anybody...they are always the victim but they should protest & stand for themselves...
Otherwise you have to tolerate this insult till death

dont waste a second

Subhan Allah

Amazing

They can be PhD but they being led by their emotions..May Allah guide us..especially those who are tested with difficult harsh family members who they was not able to get support from or even to br hearf..

I love the style of lectures that brother Nouman gives on every topic, i love the examples and the personality and humor he uses to explain the examples related to the topic. jazakallah never boring !!

i think the man speaking in this should be included under the list of names of difficult people.

Please try to summarise your points in all lectures, short and concise speeches are better.

Subhan’Allah… it’s extremely difficult.
When you have been emotionally abused and someone knew they were damaging you psychologically, but just kept going and didn’t care…that’s traumatic.
I’m guilty of throwing the word ‘Narcissist’ around, but the individual I dealt with became unhinged and tyrannical, it wasn’t an easy experience to cope with, it almost pushed me into another depressive state.
Psychological violence is real and it destroys families and devastates the lives of children who deal with such a parent.
I do agree, we cannot diagnose, but as humans, we do need to be able to validate and understand such abuse. I stayed married to them for 22 years until I was thrown away for another. My entire marriage was a lie and even after our divorce, I’m still picking up the pieces they shattered.

May Allah protect us from those who lack empathy and accountability and may HE prevent us from becoming such individuals ourselves…Ameen

It is true that de escalation is important in any argument and that walking away when emotions are heightened is advisable... but some 'arguments and disagreements' need to be clarified for relationships to be healed... i believe your explanations are a bit simplistic not in regard to the Beautiful message of the Qur’an but when you apply it to real life situations.

Great wisdom. I learned much from this .

I came here to see how to deal with difficult people but what I learnt was something for myself that I'm always too emotional and sensitive about the smallest of things. Recently I was thinking that I should get over this and start taking things lightly. I felt this was for me I have taken my feelings superior to everything.May Allah guide my heart further as Allah is the greatest, everything else falls secondary and of no meaning. This lesson just came at the right time.

scw

I like how Nouman brother explains everything.🤲

Thank you ✨️💕

this guy is harassing women and is a disgrace to the ummah, please google Nouman Ali Khan flirting.
then he is wahhabi. overall, not a reliable source.

Ok.if we accept the narcissist people around us that Allah has ordered us to treat them woth kindness.but what about the harm they caused us such as narcissistic abuse changes the cognitive ability, u suffer short term memory loss and

This guy is arrogant I got a bad feeling from him when I met him in person.

A scholar s ink is holier than a martyre s blood

Wonderful topic of discussion and enlightenment Brother . Thank you.

A persons nafs should be nullified in order to show endurance for the sake of Allah swt

Good talk... but when we label a person a narcissist, it is according to their behavior and not their hearts. Narcissistic behavior is very harmful to the people experiencing it. All we can do is enlighten them on their behavior and protect ourselves from them and the rest is between them and Allah.We do not know the state of people's hearts. Only Allah does.

Labels serve a purposed so we can identify patterns in behavior.

Leaving it at a label and being unable to Understand the siurce that causess “narcassism” or why its getting worse..is due to parents not having children reflect or Accept responsibility for how they interact with others..

Our values to “win” exceed our desire to be good and thoughtful community members..

So we need to not just limit ourselves to the label but not remove labels until the person has worked out their issues “kinks” in their line.. that are twisted..

The idea being wr dont stand andbe a whipping boy .. to someone who doesnt think their tongue lashing is Painful ….

But if we watch the tongue lasher and see what made her… We can Transform the one who needs to be labeled .. to be re-labeled as behaviors change..

Snakes shed and get bigger but dont change..

humans can change when given a place safe to act like a snake amongst snakes.. Receiving bite atfter bite until they learn To not just shed and get bigger.. but stop biting others… and then getting bit.

Its not easy when you dont have healthy family members around cuz you cant see youre iwn toxic behavior .. like an imagination that runs wild or creates a “truth” that Serves our/hour lyin .. takes time to Unravel ever scale throne/thrown at us… that causes us tiers/tears in our see/seas…

It doesn’t help when people around us feed into our drama, or deepest wants..

It helps when heart to heart conversations Tell us.. we hurt ourselves allowing our imagination to Run wild .. or believe things we have no proof of..but want it to be true…

idea being…. Dont remove the label until behaviors of the talks’sick (toxic) change and while you like moses take 40 years away/weigh from them to gain light outsidebofvtoxic tree shade that threatens to choke the life kf a sap (sweet heart tree with roots that snake around i grounding) you oray someone with more energy is helping thdcmother/brother you cant heal..

Think of it like a son who is a dictor attempting to operate on their father…. Too close’ cant think straight.. need others to Help mend because the emotional connection and abuse isnt therd that makes us “cut ties’ to our fathers heart.,”

You see? Its not malicious to want to cut ties or knot know ur toxic (talks sick) neither side understands the other and wants to demon’eyes… or label and point that tongue to cut’ cure or Calm…

But We Play “hes the bad guy” rather then whats the root cause’ so we can stopp that see’d’ at the Lower less shade levels.

Right now we have hu’mong’us Trees rooted in “leave” no room to see’d… too much dark and bark.. knot .enough light and see’d.

Taking space from our roots to vist other subjects (peoplebin a kingdom/ kingdumbs) help us to torn page (thats a messenger in a kingdom or a pay’per “paper” view.

By visiting and seeing others families and cultures and examining them through lense of religion/psychology/science.. we being back to our father/lot an apology, solutions, ideas.. Adventures that taught us what a jerk we are… ya know.. assuming The best in each other but giving space not to Only see dark.. or labeling a tree without asking why we love that “kind” of tree of knowledge.. and why its cool .. brings difference.. but maybe we dont eat from some trees.. and understand how evasive species ruin communities.. or See if planting other see’d will Give us healthier things to “root” for..

This is true, jazak allah khair. Please make dua for us all, may Allah help us to overcome our problems and reward us with better understanding and make us closer to our deen.

Please people be careful of these dangerous so called scholars!!they are teaching mostly hadith and not quran!!open the quran and read it yourself dont depend on these people

Usually toxic person in other's people life will feel as victim. Cause for them, why people seems doesnt like them ? They will feel "like a victim" that they have toxic people around them. Toxic people usually having specific mental sickness that year by year built a specific character in them. If they are weak enough, all kinds of negativities, Shaitan will love to ride them on....

Narcissists = demonic possession + probably witchcraft. Demons attack muslims with extreme violence, despair not! May Allah help us! ❤

Allah hu Akbar 😭 very very beautiful lesson. Jazak Allah Khairan kaseera

JazakAllahu khairan

Beautifully said

‏اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِ مُحَمَّد كَمَا صَلَّيْتَ عَلَى إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَعَلَى آلِ إِبْرَاهِيم إنَّك حميدٌ مجيدٌ اللَّهُمَّ بَارِكْ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِ مُحَمَّد كَمَا بَارَكْتَ عَلَى إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَعَلَى آلِ إِبْرَاهِيم إنَّك حميدٌ مجيدٌ

When you have adult kids that do not get along it is has been difficult. As a mother it is emotionally draining so much tension and division. I'm always stuck in the middle. May Allah make it easy. I'm at a point where I just have to get away.

Many difficult people sometimes are playing victims😔 .. may Allah give them hidayah, aamiin

It's feels contradictory at some point you have to judge people and their mind , otherwise any one will go away with anything and we will be be punching bag for anyone.

Extremely beautiful, knowledgeable lecture to guide difficult people

SOME NARCISSIST ARE TRUE HYPOCRITES FAMILY THEY TRULY ENJOY CAUSING YOU PAIN THEY LAUGH AT YOUR PAIN. When did Allah says take abuse? This is why most women family stay.. I’m saying from 30 years experience..

Dealing with difficult inlaw is one of a kind. the people who hurt you, still doesn't change, so you just having new wounds, the old ones even haven't healed yet. I can only pray that Allah guide me and give me strength.

A very needed lecture that gave me another direction to think

Salaamun alaikum .these instances you are quoting happen once .this cannot be related to gazza situation which is continous for many years .this is all due to fact that we muslims are not following quran and allah we are following the false aadees narations concted by liar munafique arabs .we are following arabs whom allah calls munafique and kaafir in sura tauba ayat 97 to 107 .in sura ahzab allah warns not to follow kafir and munafique .follw allah ayat 1 to 3 .the answer is this simple .you do no need to talk this much .

❤ Allahu Akbar ❤