*SIGNS* Of Emotional Incest (Ask A Shrink)

This hit hard because now that I have learned about what this is I realize that I have suffered emotionally incest from my father, who I think also experienced this from his mother. How do I heal from this?

I want to cry right now!🥲

Seriously? There are people who aren't performing and "on" all the time? Even in the Age of Social Media Performance and 24/7 Media Entertainment? Or aren't Flying Monkeys to someone who is?
Wonder what that's like!?! Are those are the ones who get bullied as being "lame"?

This was so helpful. I’m climbing out of that whole of overwhelm because I don’t feel crazy anymore. This explained so much.❤

Can emotional incest happen with a 17 year old boy and his girlfriends mother ?

One of your best.. 🎉 ty

I'm 53 and your videos on emotional incest finally have me understand why I am the way I am. I grew up in a highly dysfunctional divorced family I'd experienced three ugly divorces by the time I was 10. My mother definitely utilized her children as emotional fixes for her failure with men. From the time I have memory I remember pushing my mom away from me because she was always trying to smother me emotionally and physically. She wasn't trying to be sexual with me but she was treating me like I would think she would treat a boyfriend. I'm the youngest. Very familiar with attachment theory and I'm an avoidant... imagine that. I've known about this kind of from Al-Anon. If you read the characteristics of children from dysfunctional families it's kind of in there. But giving it this diagnosis has had my life basically flash in front of my eyes ongoingly. It's like being in prison being able to reach through the bars and barely touch what you want even though what you want is saying I want you but you can't grab it. I'm a Jesus follower and I give glory to Him for showing me this through your videos. Thank you so much for saying all of this. It's a lot to process and it's going to take me a while but I've been set free and now I feel that God willing maybe that which I desire and hope for I'll be able to grab.

I’m a 17 year old girl, my mom is in a very bad relationship. She’s been with my step-dad for some 14 years now. He’s a narcissist, so naturally their relationship is bad. the earliest I can remember is by the time I was about 11, My step-dad got diagnosed with cancer, and my mom was busy taking him to the hospital, taking care of him, taking care of the house etc. she’d often ask me to do stuff like make dinner for the house, get my siblings ready for school, make their lunches, wake them up etc. I went into really bad depression, I stopped eating breakfast and lunch; I’d maybe eat dinner, or just have a few granola bars, idk if that’s an eating disorder but I think it comes close. I felt like I didn’t have any time to just live, so I guess I cut out my own needs like showering, eating, etc, so I could have that time and still accommodate everyone else. I became extremely suicidal. I made plans, thought about it a lot… I’m not sure why exactly I never acted on any of them, whether things changed enough just in time, or if they simply required to much effort. But I never went through with them. I’m not depressed anymore, and definitely not suicidal, though I admit there’s been times life has felt hopeless, but I’m pretty sure that’s normal. My mom is still in the same relationship, she talks to me about stuff like how he’s cheating on her, our financial issues, some of her sex life etc. all stuff that sounds like emotional incest. I want her to talk to someone, as she talks about some pretty serious stuff. She doesn’t really have anyone else to talk to though, as part of the abusive relationship is that she loses close relationships with people outside of the house, and also likely because she herself is a victim of emotional incest from her mom, she doesn’t have any close friends to talk about this stuff with. I’m trying to get her to go to a therapist to talk about this stuff, rather then with me, as I can’t help, nor can I fix anything. I’m happy that I’ve realized that emotional incest is going on tho, as I’ve felt many of these symptoms. I don’t believe my mom is intentionally doing it, she’s said herself that she thought it was normal as her relationship with her mom is similar. I have identity issues, I’m a total people pleaser, I’m a perfectionist and want validation from authority figures like teacher etc. I’ve always felt like I don’t know myself or who I really am, and I struggle with emotions. I’ve never been in a relationship before, but i’m scared of them. I’m afraid of ending up like my mom, and sometimes I feel like I’m to toxic to be in one, I’ll just end up hurting them and so I sabotage any chances I’ve had before they begin. But I acknowledge this, and I want to get better, I want to fix myself

Im 25, without internet, I think I would notice this issue way later in life

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Hey Brad, I am just discovering the term "loyalty conflict". I have the impression that it is also part of emotional incest. I would like to hear your opinion on this topic. regards X

I'm 37 and only discovered I had emotional incest/enmeshment 2-3 years ago. My therapist diagnosed it and we have been working on it ever since. All the signs have been there my entire life, including trouble with emotional intimacy, dating, and sexual intimacy. At times it feel like an insurmountable thing and I get pretty depressed about it all because I can't see a way out or a clear solution.

I was 55 and my mother dead before I heard this term. I've read a couple books and talk to my therapist. I also feel I have Complex PTSD from this and I was the Golden Child.

I’m still on and off with denial after being no-contact with my mother for 4 years. It’s exhausting.

holy sh*t... truth bombs here

I recently left my sons dad who has an emotional incestuous relationship with his mom and sister. Aside from his family and his trauma responses, he get along great. I believe there’s hope for our family. But how do I get him to acknowledge what is happening instead of living in denial?

Makes so much sense! Thank you

I was in denial for so many years. Would describe the relationship as just being “really close”, such an enmeshment word! But it was total fusion with my mom and having all of the symptoms of EI in my personal life (addiction, depression, impulsive behavior, relationship issues, people-pleasing, sexual dysfunction, no sense of self, etc). Now at the point where I’m going ‘No Contact’ with my mother. Crazy how much things can change. It’s never too late, and you don’t owe any explanation for adding distance and boundaries.

Hi Brad, I think my few comments were deleted, did I not follow the community guidelines?

Thanks Brad, for all of your insightful videos, keep up the good work.

Today's world... teaches emotionally cruelty. Wonder why there's more psychopaths..... ??? . .... if people care about others it's called neediness and incest. M all rights reserved

My brother and mom are deep in to it right now. The one thing is that nobody will talk about it. My brother is alcoholic. He's gonna have to have a total collapse before he even begins to entertain it. I swear, he's 50 and if I try to separate from our mom, his 80 year old GF, he screams and gets violent. Dude this is awful

Left UnTreated The Blockages Seem To Get Worse As I Aged.Therapy For 20 Years,Antidepressants for 15 years.The Therapists Didn't Seem To Understand.The "Model" They Were Using Was Antiquated