All JoJo stand profiles but really fast {ORIGINAL BY VIVA REVERIE}

Weird feet stand is real and it is COMING FOR YOU

Mohammed Avdol
Magician’s Red:
Shoots fire.

Jolyne Cujoh’s Stone Free: Punchy Stringy Girl
Josuke Higashikata: Puncy bubble Boy.
Alternate Diego Brandos The World: Punchy Boy…Oh and insert explanation here

where did bad company go

I can describe Holly's without sounding sexist.

Holly herself did not have fighting spirit. She had no innate Stand potential and did not have either the strength of will required or a form of supernatural healing with which to overpower the sickness. We see Josuke went through something similar though his dormant Stand eventually woke of its own volition years later.

Tower of Gray: not actually a fly
Super Fly: not actually a fly
how are we still discovering jokes even though this has been out for years?!

“Mad fold in” is an underrated one

Huh, I only now realized that the Stands' names stop having colors in them starting with Hol Horse's Emperor.

he messed up the tower of gray/super fly joke :( he said "technically not a fly" for tower of gray when he should have said "technically not a tower of gray"; the one about hanged man/man in the mirror is fine tho, the names are a little weirder but its a funny callback/reference

Best thing ever gun !!!

Steel Ball Run, But Really Fast

Sandman’s... Hand -- I-It’s a hand, I don’t know what you want me to--
Pocoloco’s Hey Ya! -- Therapy
Emerald Prospector’s Who Cares -- Who cares
Andre Boomboom’s Tomb of the Boom 2 -- Magneto
Benjamin Boomboom’s Tomb of the Boom 1 -- Magneto Daddy
Mountain Tim’s Oh! Lonesome Me -- You could probably do a really good finger puppet show, just saying
L.A. Boomboom’s Tomb of the Boom 3 -- Magneto III: This Time, It’s Personal
Oyecomova’s Boku no Rhythm wo Kiitekure -- Ow, my tongue
Pork Pie Hat Kid’s Wired -- We got a live one, boys!
Johnny Joestar’s Tusk Act 1 -- Finger GUN
Dr. Ferdinand’s Scary Monsters -- Dinosaur fetish
Diego Brando’s Scary Monsters -- Okay, this is probably taking it a step too far...
Hot Pants’ Cream Starter -- Really, REALLY hot pepper spray
Ringo Roadagain’s Mandom -- sdnats emit hguone t'nerew ereht thguoht uoy nehw tsuJ
Blackmore’s Catch the Rain -- I’m siiiiiinging in the rain~
Sandman’s In a Silent Way -- THE HAND HAS A BODY, AAAAAAAAAAA
Johnny Joestar’s Tusk Act 2 -- Hol Horse
The Great Tree’s Sugar Mountain -- No, the stand called Sugar Mountain isn’t owned by the person named Sugar Mountain who actively uses Sugar Mountain, Sugar Mountain is owned by the big tree which lives on Sugar Mountain, got it?
Eleven Men’s TATOO YOU! -- TATOO US!
Mike O.’s Tubular Bells -- Inflation fetish
Magent Magent’s 20th Century BOY -- 19th Century MAN
Axl RO’s Civil War -- GUN-- Wait, it’s not that? Oh, I'm so, so sorry...
Johnny Joestar’s Tusk Act 3 -- Not gonna lie, this one kinda sucks
Funny Valentine’s D4C -- Funnyman: Enter the Funnyverse
D-I-S-C-O’s Chocolate Disco -- It’s time to D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Disco!
Lucy Steel’s Ticket to Ride -- Make a lady cry, that’s not gonna fly
Funny Valentine’s D4C Love Train -- Nat 20
Gyro Zeppeli’s Ball Breaker -- This is definitely going to work!
Gyro Zeppeli’s Ball Breaker -- It didn’t work
Johnny Joestar’s Tusk Act 4 -- Punchy Spinny Boy ...Wow, took you long enough
Parallel Johnny Joestar’s Tusk Act 2 -- “Chumimi~in”
Parallel Hot Pants’ Cream Starter -- Yep, it's definitely there
Parallel Diego Brando’s THE WORLD -- Oh, I appear to have been impaled by knives, now how did those get there?

"Laser beam missed the memo" & "Dynamite missed the memo" on KILLER QUEEN AND STRAY CAT goes so hard.

I love how Kc's second explanation, chariot requiem's explanation, and GER's explanation despite being simple and not technically explaining anything perfectly describe the actual stands. "NEVER MIND" works since KC is about changing the users fate, so essentially seeing that you're about to be stabbed and using kc to just "nevermind" that fate. chariot requiem swaps everyone's souls around which works for the explanation "I cant say i know what im doing here" bonus points since its someone else narrating instead of the actual narrator. GER basically denies the fate that will happen from ever happening, so "NO" is a perfect description

exactly 100 stand profiles

So would Killer Queen and Stray Cat be a dynamite with a lazer beam?

Why does epitaph have an A in power? Like can it bite you so hard you explode or something?

Holy shit cut the clips better

Pet Shop / Orus Persistence should be not C but S rank.

JEAN PIERRE POLNAREFF'S
CHARIOT REQUIEM

I CAN'T SAY I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING HERE!

i just realized the narrator guy swapped voices because of the soul swap thing and thats why chariot requiem's description is "I CANT SAY I KNOW WHAT IM DOING HERE" because they swapped with narrator guy and have no idea what happened

GUN

i find it funny how golden experience's explanation is just "NO". because it both explains the stand but also makes it sound as though viva just refuses to explain the ability because of how stupid it is.
(GER can revert any and all actions and willpower back to the state of "zero", completely nullifying them and preventing them from becoming "real", regardless of the ability of the ones that are affected. it's basically a big uno reverse card)

During Silver Chariot Requiem’s profile, Okuyasu temporarily takes over for the Voice in the Sky due to temporarily having his soul in her body.

You forget that one moment whan Doppio uses Epitaph and this stand card showing on his hairs

Bad company

GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN GUN

Idk if i like white album or G.E.R. more because on is just a really funny bit ane the other is both refusal to explain G.E.R. and also the most simple way to explain it

Golden Experience Requiem: NO!

Ghiaccio is so cool he got 2 screens and his own absolutely unique joke.

why does viva sound like billie joe armstrong when they want to?

GUN

"Weird Feet Stand is real and it is CoMiNG fOr yOU!!!!"

GUN!

I cared about Holly Kujo's stand 😢 shame she was just a vessel to give birth to a real man with a real stand

"Hol Horse's Em-
G U N!!!!!!"

I find it hilarious that everytime the eye catch bit ends there’s a single frame of someone screaming or talking

Here’s some I came up with for some of the Steel Ball Run stands:
Johnny Joestar's Tusk Act 1: Adorable spinny boy.
Johnny Joestar's Tusk Act 2: Robotic spinny boy.
Johnny Joestar's Tusk Act 3: Portal spinny boy.
Johnny Joestar's Tusk Act 4: Absolute murder man.
Gyro Zeppeli's the Spin's Ball Breaker: Backgamon time again!
Dr. Ferdinand's Scary Monsters: Turns people into dinosaurs.
Diego Brando's Scary Monsters: I guess it’s his now.
Pocoloco's Hey Ya!: He gives pep talks… that’s it.
Funny Valentine's Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap: First, we must talk about parallel univer- (Gets cut off by 2nd narrator): Funny Valentine's Dirty De- wait who are you? text boxes come together and explode
Alternate Diego Brando's THE WORLD (case sensitive): Punchy Bo- hey, I’ve seen this one before.

"Yes the orangutan is the user.
Yes the orangutan has a name
Yes the boat is the stand
OH MY GOD THE BOAT IS THE STAND-"

The genuine fear-

that is very true. How the hell DID notorious BIG get his job.

I can't wait for "Weather Report's Weather Report: Reports the weather"

Ghiaccio’s 4th Wall break still gets to me every time.

The entire internet after hearing ger's description is "no!": Tusk act 4s description is going to be "yes!"

Fucking gun