What Victims of Emotional Abuse Really Need | Dr. David Hawkins

With me I want to be free but am stuck cuz I have a fixed income an a child.

A person will never fully heal or stop being a narcissist. For anybody thinking that's a thing. You can only hope they'll improve which is unlikely

women??? have you ever thought that the women claiming to be abused are the abusers? i have far more experienced this, what your describing, from women than men, by far. my sister i unbelievably emotional abusive and that is exactly how he justifies it, she says shes being abused thats why she is angry, when in fact she isnt being harmed at all in any way, SHE is the harmful one. why start this by saying women, how about, people.

As a woman, I have to say it’s not just “his”. Women have been equally abusive to me in my lifetime. Their abuse just wasn’t physical like the men’s was. But it was actually far more damaging. My mother’s abuse was covert and insidious.

I need a safe place to live where I’m not surrounded by constant gaslighting and abuse.

To David, I am from NZ. My older brother has been on psychoactive drugs for 30 years and have made his life worse as the years have gone by. I have suffered psychological and emotional abuse and nicotine in our house is the root of why my older brother's drug has not been reviewed or ween them off after some many years. Do you know what legal support I can get about why my older brother is on this drug and what I can do to rectify the issue at home.
We have Privacy Laws in our country to prevent all or any family members from going to the doctor and talk about medications, etc.
My older brother has gone so bad that the drug has opened up doors spiritually to other evil forces in his mind and trying to "smoke" his mind away??????
Just wondering if anyone else is going through any issue like this in this world today.

Matt

No one seems to understand or take me seriously on this issue in the recovery systems around here

Hurt people hurt people
I was patented from an infant by a narcissist parent so it was normalized ... im treated like a narcissist because i act like one i guess ... people seem to dislike me and my personality... except i have guilt and empathy

Thank you. I have been the lucky recipient of being targeted at work for bullying and then mobbing (this phenomenon which occurs the same exact pattern, regardless of where in the world because it’s predicated on ostracism and weaponizing via manipulation of information to establish a narrative, which then distributed to form social cognition which is the point of no return The individuals subconscious responses are now driving their actions towards the target, and the actions that are undertaken are those which are described as narcissistic abuse such as tactics you mentioned in the video except it’s not one person abusing you with those tactics. It’s literally everyone around you and again this is now the social cognition so the subconscious brain is really acting on this primal belief that this person is not of our culture they need to leave because they are a threat and holy hell are those tactics horrific)
That’s a side, each session was just relaying, but abusive measure(s) I’ve encountered, and then finally after the discard after thoroughly being dehumanized, I found myself a little bit perplexed as my therapist started to open up kind of reverse, blame that she hadn’t heard me take any responsibility for what was going on and starting to attribute motives to things that I would say when it wasn’t the motive. And basically it’s come down to almost like feeling like a child where I’m responding reflecting what she’s saying to ensure I know that idk how to explain but that although people have job titles responsibilities, Laws, bylaws etc That I am effectively exempted from them and the consequences of others actions or inactions is for me to figure out. I don’t entirely understand the value of that particularly one size been through two years of continuous traumatic events, but essentially I guess accepting rather than accepting my inequality and move on?
But I found particularly jarring as she would use these words like “owe” when my rationale was “asking for help” . I’m neurodivergent and doing my best but it’s exhausting

I finally went to a doctor for help, and he abused me almost killed me with hormones & Medicine, then try to sexually abuse me.
Men & Doctors are EVIL
I trust no one

As someone who’s been emotionally abused I’m tired. Tired of being blamed for someone else’s actions, not having the resources to get help, and being forced to take responsibility for the actions of the narcissist. It’s always the victim that has to take responsibility and never the perpetrator. All I want is to be left alone and preserve whatever peace I got.

There are emotionally abusive women as well. This video could address this issue too or at least mention it.

Societally, we’re accustomed to hearing about women being abused by men.

Abuse of men in relationships is a bit like a dirty little secret. People, especially the men who are living with it, don’t talk about it — even if they realize it’s happening.

My situation is a friendship with a man who wants more and I do not. He gaslights me a lot, denies my view or reality of his behaviour towards me, and he is manipulative. I have tried to end the friendship but he guilt-trips me as a form of control, and makes me feel bad for not wanting to be friends any more. He calls daily, often more than once (this is just a friendship please remember), and sends text messages daily. He has improved a bit but what I find is he goes "nice and normal" and I think he has learned and changed, I get hooked back in to the friendship, and he then reverts back to his old tricks (various manipulative tricks to try and get into a situation where he stays over at my house over night hoping things will "happen" and acts very moody and sulky when he doesn't get his own way). Like this guy says, change is a long slow process, and it is draining. I think my "friend" doesn't actually believe he is doing anything wrong at all, he thinks he is a "nice guy" and thinks I am the crazy one for getting upset at his manipulative tactics. He says I am bossy (when in reality I am severely trying to protect myself from his control tactics because I cannot trust him). I know what you'll say, why am I in this friendship? I find it hard to understand it myself, but the friendly charming side somehow keeps you in there, you feel sorry for him, etc. They know this and they use it, they use ANYTHING they can use to get you in-on the cycle. If you're reading this to the end, please pray I will be able to get out of this damaging, draining friendship and find better friends to be with when I don't want to be alone. Thank you.

I am surprised that you only talk about emotional abuse in adult relationships. I was in an abusive trauma bond for many years, still think about him everyday, but its because i was emotionally abused by my parents. Thats the real problem and the real place to focus is on the childhood trauma. This seems like something you need to mention

I dont speak to anyone about what i deal with , anyone that i would have has been triangulated and manipulated. She got angry at me and called the cops then i was actially happy, the cops realised no domestic violence has occurrd but as they left i low key asked to be regfered to any supports available and soon ill be able to get the counselling and therapy i need in order to function bevause it just consumes me all day and impacts my life beyond measure

I was in a toxic relationship with emotional and physically abusive women for 17 years, I was afraid to come forward. When I confronted her about our problems I was removed from the home and and she projected her abuse on me. Even know I had documented evidence showing abuse it didn't matter. Men have no rights period its so sad.

I need a safe place to live. In 63 I have no car I am healthy I need a place for my little dog my cat as he's beginning to become abusive with the animals

Amen. long journey. I think most of the time, though not often possible the couple needs to separate. And as Dr. R says they are not going to change.

Thank you.

I’m here in this situation for 8years now😭 I needed help so bad😭

I need for him to leave me alone

In my case it’s a mother.

First question: I need somewhere else to live on my own or living with roommates.

Women abuse too

What they as in the Real VICTOMs is a 1 true person to help them with getting the evidence . Well they broke into our house and toom it and he says it dident happen . Cant call cops cuz U will also go to jail so now all abusers are baned togerher and out for blood from all they give a crap aboht .....join me and feel the relief of revenge

Apart from money owed, I need nothing at all in relation to him. Whether he changes or not makes no difference to me. It is literally deadly to hold your health and sanity health hostage waiting for some kind of epiphany on the part of those who harm you. I strongly encourage other commenting to plan your life on the basis that there will be no epiphany. You cannot win with these people. They are sad and pitiable, not you.

Caribbean women are advised not to leave their homes for fear of losing all they worked hard for. it's like l being between a rock and a hard place. Thing is he is very nice to other folks even the folks who did him wrong. It seems as tho its only me the has the loud mouth for. its been 30years.

What do I need? I've needed to emotionally discharge the negative energy by being heard. Then safety, space, sleep and rest, support. Solitude for clarity.

I need space and solitude to reset,unlearn and learn,get to love myself again. I don't want unnecessary chats,texts or calls. Unfortunately, I joined DV support group,that didn't help with my mental health and felt stuck all the time. Started experiencing PTSD so I stepped back from the group and doing well now

The problems with your videos is they don't address abused men! and it's allot harder for us to talk about our hurts or find forum's on abuse where we can feel safe to talk with out being judged My wife is a narcissist,, an I don't know where to turn because of forums like yours which deals with better than 90% from the woman's experience

For me it is my mother and my grandpa Billy. They won't even let me get a drivers license or spend time with people. And they don't allow me to go places by myself like the library or the gym or to make new friends. And my Grandpa Billy acts like it is normal to make me cook and clean and take care of my mother without pay while she plays video games. I am 31.

May statistics show that emotional abuse may be mainly coming from men, it is too much overseen, that men can also be victim of a toxic relationship and mental abuse. I actually do not know what to look for to heal, maybe it is just time. And no matter what sort of therapeutic groups you offer, but these emotional abuser are hardly ever willing to change. On the contrary they rather see themselves as a victim of all misery. Just walking away is the best therapy.

He is a doctor.

He hurt my children and grandchildren even turned members of my family against me.

It's a group of them not 1.

I need justice and to be believed I passed a lie detector test and the police and the F.B.I in Mt.and Fl. Do nothing.

I feel like a frozen rabbit in a tiny hole with a pack of wolves circling me.the physical and mental and emotional pain is constant.

I can't get any money because it's only his he deserves nice things because he worked so hard.I don't know where all of the money went and he said it is his.I worked from age of 16 to 59.we been married since 1992

He turned members of my family against me.

I need help.Need justice.

My grandkids and my daughters got hurt even more.

Called the F.B.I

He. Had them put me in psych ward .He is a doctor.Nobody believes me and I passed lie detector

Afraid of the police locking me up or my daughter or hurting me and my grandkids more.The police won't help I Mt.or Fl.

I need justice and unfreeze

Mind you, right after I texted my ex on how I felt, on august 23, 2020, my ex gave me the silent treatment, telling me she wants space, until I can get my apartment stuff done. Calling up the complexes. If I didn’t abide by her orders, especially on the day of august 24, she threatened she didn’t want to talk to me that day cause she was pissed. So that’s how the abuse got so bad right there. Check this out guys. So on Friday afternoon September 4, 2020. My ex wakes up at 3 PM. “did you get the stuff done princess?” “no. not yet. My aunt is helping me tonight. Please, be patient. Why are you like this?” then my ex threatened the final straw, “Okay princess, you know what? I’m giving you until Monday. If you don’t get that application for that assisted living place done, we are having a talk. I’m so done. Better get it done.” So that night, my aunt helped me fill it out. I had to get one last thing completed on it, but I needed my mom to send me over a picture of something. I told my ex that I completed the application but I had to attach a digital picture to the application before submitting it to the assisted living website, the place her and I would move into. After I tell my ex that I have just one more thing to attach, she gets angry. Through text, she says, “I’m giving you until Sunday to get that picture attached to the application. It better be submitted.” Then I say, “give me until September 8. Tuesday, please, babe?” then my ex, texts me at 1 AM on September 5, 2020, “I said, Sunday! Sunday!” she was pissed. Later that Saturday, my mother sends me a digital picture of what I had to attach. So I forwarded the picture to my aunt, so she can take a screenshot of it. Later that Saturday night, into early Sunday, she gets on her laptop and my aunt attaches the picture to the PDF application that got filled out that Friday night. Sunday rolls around, I was in the pool with my aunt, uncle, and little cousin. Inflatable pool. 6 PM arrives, here’s the final narcissistic tactic. My ex calls me. I didn’t pick up. So after I showered and change, she calls again, and says, “I can’t deal with your emtoinal b.s. any more. I can’t do it any more. You don’t want to go by my deadlines, I can’t do it any more.” I protested, “please don’t do this to me. Please don’t do this to me.” Click, she hangs up. I felt sick. Please let me know if this is another narcissist tactic. Anyone in the comments section, reply to this lengthy story that I’m writing to you all, even the person’s video that I’m commenting on. So my aunt, my uncle, and I have buffalo wild wings. My aunt runs into the room after she heard me screaming my last words on that final call with my ex who was threatening me. So glad I wasn’t home when this happened. I ate 3 wings, and that’s it. About 6 wings total, and sweet potato crinkle fries my aunt took out of the oven. That night I call up a friend of mine crying, as well as a few family members. Kutos to my other aunt whom I called on the phone. “her loss, she hurt you. How dare of her to do that.” She tells me. “Please don’t tell me this will lead to a breakup.” I say to her on the phone while remembering the dream I had that Thursday prior. I stay up until 10:30 PM, and go to bed. Try to. I get 4 hours of sleep. I wake up at 2 AM, Monday, September 7 , 2020. Crying and crying. I stay up until 10:30 AM, basically the whole entire Monday. At 6 AM, I text my ex’s mom telling her what my ex has done to me. I tell her, “Please please, pray that this isn’t the end of the relationship. I done nothing wrong to your daughter. I love her.” My ex’s mom replies a few hours later, and she is so sorry to hear about all this stuff. After breakfast, I sit around and wait, and wait while listening to sad 90s sappy love songs by Michael Bolton, and Mariah Kerry, my go-to depressing music. 10:45 AM, Monday, September 7, 2020, I get a text from my ex that says, “It’s over and there’s nothing you can do to change my mind.” I went back home that evening very depressed. My aunt and uncle I stayed with that labor day weekend, gave me advice on not to dwell on this breakup cause I’ll dig myself a deep hole that will be hard to crawl out of. Thanks to them, I am thankful they gave me the talk. And that night I call my grandma crying and told her what happened. Next morning I call my uncle bawling. That Wednesday, I finally told my mom after she asks how my ex is doing. Then that Friday my step-dad has a talk with me. Thanfully my family didn’t blame me and say it’s all my fault. We all know whose fault it was. My ex, since she is very manipulative and bitter. But here’s the final question before I get to the sad news I just found out tonight. Is she the narcissist, and am I the victim? I did get into contact with her on October 20, 2020. No answer. I text her a month later, no answer. In august on her birthday in 2021, 2022, and this year, I wished her a happy birthday. No response. Now onto the sad news. And I will follow up the sad news with my final question. I need advice. Mind you I am over her, 3 years and 2 months later. 100% over her. The memories still haunt me once in a while. Not as bad as they did in September 2020, after she texted, “it’s over and there’s nothing you can do to change my mind.” So tonight, my mother came in my room, told me that she saw my ex’s mom a few weeks back. Apparently, my ex’s vision got worse. So they removed her eye. Not sure if it’s the left or right eye. Now she has a prosthetic. Since she has R.P. here’s my final question to all of you. Me, as the narcissist victim, that went through 8 months of trauma, the first month wasn’t bad at all, January 2020. But things went downhill. My question to you is this. “is it okay to feel sympathy for this person that hurt me?” now that she got an eye removed. I feel bad for her and I hope she’s okay. Should I feel bad she got her eye removed. I’d be the one in the relationship worrying about her in the past during the pandemic and lockdown. She’d even say, “oh princess. Stop worrying about me. Stop worrying about me. Why are you so damn worried. Go to sleep. You’re gonna get sick if you run on less hours of sleep.” Even though my ex is manic and stays up all night playing computer games. But is it okay to have sympathy for my ex, now that she got her eye removed? I hope she’s okay. Or should I not feel bad for her, and just move on. I need answers, fast. I’m over the girl, 100% over her.i just need your feedback. And again, I never fought with this girl. She’d be the one that would do the gas lighting with all the examples I gave all of you. You guys can classify that as narcissistic tactics for me. And let me know if that’s all signs of narcissism. Please and thank you. Feedback is much appreciated. Sorry this is long. I need answers about this final question. Should I feel bad? Or should I just move on, not caring on what happened. Who knows, maybe getting that eye surgery on my ex is a sign of carma for how she treated me. I was nice to her, I bought her lunch, I bought her a plush microwavable husky in 2020, on august 20 that year, and I bought her candy. I did everything for that girl. She did get me a few things while her and I dated. I still have some of those things. The rest of the stuff, including the stuffed lion she gave me on august 12, 2019, I gave that to my little cousin. So glad I did. I need answers guys. What should I do? I think after hearing this sad news tonight, I’m not going to reach out to her any more, not even on her birthday next year on august 20. I’m over her 100% but I just need to know if it’s okay to feel sympathy for her getting that eye removed a few weeks back. Or just move on, and not care about that. Thank you so much guys. And I hope yall didn’t go through the similar thing i went through as a victim. Please let me know if yall went through something similar and traumatic as me. I’d like to know. I love you guys. And let’s continue to be good to each other. I hope my next girlfriend is sighted and not blind like me. Moral of the story is I will never date someone long distance. Especially my ex who would give me millions of reasons why she didn’t want to talk to me that night her phone cut off when we were on the phone. When I asked her politely via text to call me back and say I love you and apologize for the call that dropped.

But one time on the phone she had a melt down, and says, “ah princess, no, it’s too expensive. It’s cheaper where I live.” Her parents wanted her to move in their neck of the woods too since my folks and her folks live 20 minutes from each other. So my ex and I can see each other more. But no, her roommate must be controlling her, according to what my ex’s mom told her, the night after I left my ex’s parents house, the night of the mother and daughter fight. So my ex gives me a week, until the end of august. I call up 20 apartment complexes. They were booked. Waiting lists were required to be placed on if my ex and I did find one out of the 20 apartment complexes to move into. Rent was sky high. So last resort, I tried that assistant living place. On September 3, 2020, my ex gets so angry with me. Cause I told her that I haven’t done the application for the assistant living place for people with disabilities. It’s in my hometown I grew up in. not the town I currently am in. my ex gets so angry. Mind you, that morning I had a dream she broke up with me. So the next morning, September 4, 2020, I wake up at 6 AM, chills running up and down my spine. I text my ex, “baby, I will get the application done. I’m going to see my aunt. She’s going to help me fill it out.” My ex says, “princess, I can’t do this any more. Stop worrying about me. You better get this crap doen. I gave you a damn week and you didn’t get this application done after you successfully called those 20 apartment complexes to ask about rent, and security deposit. Don’t worry about me. If you’re so worried about me, at least I have someone over here that will take care of me. Not you.” I told her about the nightmare I had the day before. So I gave my ex space.

Back to August 22, 2020, the day I texted my ex telling her how much she’s pushing me away to hurt me, and how I felt a hole in my heart. She goes full blown balls to the wall that night, gets angry, decided to call me, but I had to eat dinner. So we push our talk to 1 AM on August 23. So 1 AM arrives, I call her up, she gets her roommate involved. And my god, guys, she’d always get her roommate involved too. We did find a place together. It’s an assisted living place for people with disabilities. But here’s when the abuse gets so bad. And please let me know if this is really narcissism or not. So when my ex puts her roommate on the phone at 1 AM that Sunday, 3 days after I saw my ex for the last time, ever, her roommate starts schooling me on how texting her telling her how I felt that Saturday is wrong. When in reality, it’s okay to text your partner to let him or her know how you are feeling. And I had the right. Even though the truth is my ex is manipulative. I have 2 friends that dated her in the past, and she dumped them both sadly. She threatened one of my friends to get his act together, or him and her are officially done. So here’s when the abuse gets so bad guys. Hear me out on this one. So my ex, that Sunday threatens, “Princess, you better start looking at apartments, give me a list of apartments you can try to look at. I’ll write you a list of questions you must ask them. About laundry and how much the deposit fee will be. If you don’t get this done in one week I will be pissed.” Also I tried getting her to move to my neck of the woods.

Hello there. I'm visually impaired. I was in a narcissistic relationship with someone who was visually impaired. We were long distance. Long story short, we got into contact on December 12, 2019, 2 years after we spent New Year's Eve in 2017. It was a night to remember when we spent the evening together that New Year's Eve. I went to her parent's house on December 12, 2019 since they live 20 minutes from me. She lives in a different city an hour and a half from me. Mind you, as I tell you this story. I will ask questions, to see if yall can identify what i went through, was narcissism. Also, toward the end, I got some sad news to report. and Will finally ask the last question. My long-time friend I've known since pre-school of 1996, we spent the day together doing fun activities on that cold Thursday in December 2019. Fast forward to my birthday 2 days later, she came over. My family had a cookie party and it was fun. After she spent the whole day with me that Saturday, she went home to her parents house. The next day I popped the question and asked her if she wants to be my girlfriend. She finally says yes after giving me some info about how she is as a person. 5 days after that on that Friday, she came over. And we spent the day together. She stayed with her parents until January 18, 2020. Then went back home to the city she currently lives in, an hour and a half from me. Long distance, I hated it so much. We did squeeze a few visits before she left in mid January 2020. She came back a month later on February 8. That next day, she came over, and we had our early Valentine's together. That next weekend, she went out of town with her family. We managed to squeeze in 2 more visits together, where she came over, and spent the night with me. She even spent the night on New Year's Eve, 2019. And she went back home on February 23, 2020. March arrived, and the world locked down. Depression took its toll on me. Not my fault I became securely attached, and she would dissasociate herself from me. My name to her, was princess. Every time I wanted to talk, she says, "Princess, I'm busy. We'll talk later. I'm with my roommate such and such and we're playing games at the moment." Stuff like that. She has an awful sleep schedule. So we'd talk late at night, 1, 2, even 3 AM. On Valentine's weekend when she was out of town, her phone wasn't working due to theh high elevation. But that weekend before, we talked one night on the phone for 7 hours, and 28 minutes, straight. So insane. Covid really messed me up. I think I have PTSD from it. I lost about 8 people in my family to Covid. I lost one of my favorite uncles, who was my best buddy. And that occured, a year, and 2 months right after my ex dumped me. But we managed to talk on the phone periodically. She'd be cranky if she got no sleep. On May 18, 2020, she returned to her parents house, and stayed there until June 28, 2020. I had one of the most insane panic attacks while I cried for her on the morning of May 19, 2020. I had a dream she died from Covid. I think that she's a person that thinks Covid is a joke. She told me that day of my nightmare, "Oh princess, you should've called me." I wanted to call her, but then I hear so many excuses on why she didn't want to talk for long cause she's busy with her roommate, and their video games. So dumb I know. Here's a tactic that I finally know now, is a narcissistic tactic. I didn't know what narcissism was until I watched videos of what it is. I watched those videos a year after my ex dumped me. I'd say, about 10 months after she dumped me. She had me not say nothing. She lied to her folks, cause she wanted to come see me. Some of her siblings got sick. Thankfully no Covid. and her mom took a test. thankfully it was negative. But my ex's mom told her to stay put. and she'd get her when she's in the clear. But my ex didn't listen. that week my ex's mom took the test, my ex still came down to see me. A week after her mom took the test. She did get sick with a cold, that week of May 18. So it's been 6 days since May 11, when her mom took the covid test. I experienced a fight between my ex, and her mom. Now I look back, and I'm 100% with her mom. My folks tried their hardest to explain to me that my ex is manipulative. But I didn't listen. But i did experience a fight. it was bad, on the day of May 22, when her and I re-united after 3 months without each other. 2 days later, her parents came over to my folks's place, and we had an intervention. I wanted to move in with my ex and her roommates. and i was too fast for love. not my fault. this pandemic made my mental health sky rocket. I apologized for lying to my ex's mom, even though I didn't say anything, according to what my ex wanted me to do. don't say anything. she wants to come see me, even though her mom is sick. but doesn't have covid after she took that test that came out negative. then my ex, the narcissist, decided to talk to me about what her and my mother talk about. "Oh princess, they say you act like a 16 year old and don't act like an adult," she'd also say, "Princess, what? i am confused. Not saying you're stupid, but what was the question," are these narcissistic remarks that narcissists say in reality? My ex would say that stuff. I remember one time during lockdown in march, her phone acted up, so she hung up. I asked her if she loves me when i tried to call her, but she didn't answer. then she texts me back, "Princess, no point in talking right now. we'll talk tomorrow." next morning, 8 hours after our 2 AM call that dropped, the call that lasted 2 and a half hours, I call my ex. Somehow i had a melt down cause how of a narcissist my ex was. even though i didn't know what narcissism was. i even asked my ex why she didn't stay with her parents, and why she left in mid february, toward the end of the month to go back home. my god, she'd say, "Princess, why are we going further with this? drop it. please drop it. we're not going through this again." Please reply if yall think this is a narcissist tactic. of something a narcissist would say. Also my ex hated it if I repeated myself too much. That annoyed her to death. We did manage to spend every thursdays together, from 12 PM to 11 PM. and her folks had to come get her at my parents house 20 minutes from her parents house. On saturdays, I'd go to her parents house and spend the whole day there. and get picked up by my folks. nice people her parents are. when that fight happened with her and her sweet loving mother whom i still keep in touch with, my ex threatened she'd have her roommate come get her. just like that. and i know that's a sign of narcissism right there. my ex was somewhat affectionate. she has very bad closter phobia. so she couldn't cuddle me tight. but yeah, she went hom on June 28. she returns on July 16. and we spent the next 6, weeks with me. we'd see each other a few times a week. THursdays, here at my parents house, and saturdays at her parents. up until august 20, her birthday, that thursday i went to her house. very last time. i manage to take my guitar with me, and i play for her family for her birthday and i bought her fire house subs. she wouldn't say thank you every time i did stuff for her. she'd say, "thanks. princess." no, "awwe, thank you so much baby. i appreciate it. None of that stuff. One red flag she told me on December 15, 2019 when i asked her out is, "Well, i don't sugar coat crap." So Know now that's a red flag for narcissism. THankfully I wasn't abused physically. She throw out every excuse why she's busy even when we're on the phone, or if we're in person. One Saturday in June, a week before she went back home, was the time I asked her politely if we can cuddle and talk. She says, "Princess, no. I'm busy beating this pokeman character." she was playing a computer game. such a dumb excuse on why didn't want to cuddle with me, the victim. Mind you, I did everything for this girl. I was sweet the whole time I dated her. Well, 2 days later, after we said goodbye to each other, on August 22, 2020, my ex went back home. of course we chatted on the phone just once from what i remember, that friday night the night she was packing to leave home. I had enough, so that Saturday afternoon, I texted her. I wasn't rude or mean, but I had to get it off my chest. So here's my first question. Was i in the wrong here, when i decided to get out of my comfort zone and text my ex this message. "Hey, babe, you're refusing to spend time with me. take note that i am having fun with you. and you just want to go home cause of your roommate who wants to do game stuff with you. right now, it feels like there's a hole in my heart cause of how you're treating me. i don't deserve to be hurting like this." that is what i texted my ex, that saturday afternoon. mind you, every time she'd go back to her parents on our thursday traditions, the night of the thursdays we'd spend time together at my parents house, she'd give me a million reasons why she doesn't want to talk on the phone. "Princess, we talked in person and saw each other. there's no reason to talk on the phone when i get back to my parents house." so dumb of her to do that. please reply and let me know if that's another narcissistic tactic.