The Neglected Spouse (3 Reasons) | Why I'm Feeling Neglected In Marriage | Dr. Doug Weiss

What’s so bad about neglect?

Intimacy anorexia

I'm in that boat, ready to get out of here if I had the money

Thank you for making these videos
They are sooo helpful..It helps to hear about the greater issues

I feel very neglected, my husband works out of town and his job is first over his family and now he wants a divorce saying he’s not in love with me anymore 😞

I can see video on sex starved husband. Do you have one on the sex starved wife ? When a husband is addicted to porn, it can take the place of sex. What can I do. I’m not unattractive & I don’t want to have sex with anyone else. He continues to tell me he does love me & does want to have sex with me. I’m confused & lost.

I've talked to my wife often about not feeling desired. I feel like I'm starving. Instagram gets more of her than I do. To be fair, I am mindful of her needs but I think it's taken for granted

I have been going through this for almost 3 years.
I just recently left him.
He is married to porn.

Sounds like my wife exactly

Research
- neglectful narcassist
- schizoid personality disorder
- narcassist

My bet is ull see your very own story when you do.

The worst feeling in the world. I have to lay down every night next to this woman I so cherish but I am not allowed to touch her in any way. When she is in the living room and the fasted way to the kitchen is to walk by her, I go around the other way so she doesn’t have to “deal” with me and leave her to be in “her time”… it tortures

Just hit our 30 year anniversary, but together for 32… We became empty nesters 3 years ago… We began sleeping on separate rooms 5 years ago, no sex for the last almost 2 years, and the same before that… weak hug or kiss every now and then, very obligatory and mechanical… Sometimes I wonder about Andropause, if that’s the cause, but then I also have learned that his other brothers’ wives are dealing with the same behaviors! Hello childhood. Anyway, I have become depressed, overweight, low self esteem, unfocused. I am just now beginning to workout and get my badass self back in order both physically and emotionally. I was a high level exec, well liked and admired by a lot of people. How the hell did I get here? Am I a people pleaser? I’m trying to gain his acceptance and attention, is that what I’ve become? Yes, I’m fact, I had become that in many ways and with a lot of people. That’s the other thing, I am all over the place with my relationships… between depression, low energy, irritability, trust issues, and anger - everyone is pisisng me off. I also feel as if I have begun to treat others the way he treats me! That’s so weird and I hate it! What is that all about??? I’ve been to counseling for years, and he has been a handful of times. This topic is spot on in your presentation. What a relief to find an answer, a solution that fits the needs of our dilemma and pain. God, help us! Thank you so much, Dr. Weiss. I appreciate and respect you and your work. I know this is going to help us overcome in this area of our marriage. I am confident!

Anyway u could let me get ur 12step books over marriage and everything and anything I need to heal I really don't think he loves me no more and I have no body but God now no home nothing

Im really broken. I need help. My husband over 9years has sexually explicitely messaged another woman, been fired for sexual harassment (sending a picture of mens genatalia to a female coworker), watched cam girls and had a pot addiction which has now stopped. He neglected me in favour of pot and i also neglected him. Have you known a similar situation be saved?

I been a neglected wife for over 6 years. And now for the 2nd time he moved out our room for 2nd time. He's to tired but not for television. He's always in front television 📺.no sex for over a year.

I am a man who left a 16-year marriage due to neglect. It sucks to be lonely in the same bed as someone you're supposed to be close with.

I feel invisible. Everything seems more interesting than me. Stone walled. Ignored. He won't even talk about it. He thinks this behavior is normal. Anger is really the only emotion he has. I'm dying inside

At least I know I’m not alone!

I am hurting so bad

To get scheduled with a counselor/coach, call Heart to Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708.

Thank you ! :)

I have more than 5. I have tried and tried……. 14 years

I feel the longer this stonewalling occurs, my WANT and NEEDS are getting less each day. Maybe numbness will soon set in, let's hope.

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I feel lonely and neglected in my 6-year marriage, especially my 1st 3 -4 years of marriage. My husband is lovely, but he is more into community service and helping friends when they need someone. He is lovely enough to keep everybody's word, but he does not understand how it is turning this marriage into a crowd-based relationship. He leaves home to look after other folks' issues, but he can't feel my pain and anger for keeping me alone while I need his presence for a while. His very common reply is, "God gives you blessings when you help others. Since I am not the one who's feeling sick, I would go and attend this and that...etc. You can stay at home and relax." I feel like he is not mine, but he is everybody else's healer and support system. We do have our intimate moments, but it gets boring afterward because of unnecessary activities or events that he has to attend daily basis. My days before marriage was much better but he was always a community server.

Yep

One of the things I'm having difficulty is my first marriage of 20 years ended up with my husband leaving me for his coworker and an affair that occurred 6 years of our end of marriage then I married a young man 12 years younger than me who just adored me and I thought it was going to be great I had four children that came along and he totally neglected them he wouldn't even speak to them he was very jealous of them and it was complete chaos for years well now he's decided to be a better husband but never addressed any of these issues. Unfortunately the woundedness of that marriage that was betrayed brought along a problem of me trusting. I have trust issues and this second husband I've been with for 18 years but he lacks complete empathy for my trust issues and I know I need a healing and it's very difficult for him when I don't trust but yet I can't figure out why I don't trust I can't figure out why his complete neglect of me emotionally is making me mistrustful I feel like this is all my fault and I don't know how to fix this problem because I can't see the clarity of who is at fault

It is sad how so much of love and affection changes dramatically to roommate status. A person who was able to sense your mood years before is unable to support you when you are going through depression. They justify stating they are hardworking for the family. Wife also works but she is ready to show so much love whilst the husband doesn't.
10 yrs of togetherness just for nothing 💔

I feel so nauseous and have such tightness in my chest. I’m sure most people come here because they’ve tried everything but that’s the problem right there…doing all the work alone. I’m beyond tired. I pray all the time for God to just take me home.

My marriage started out like a fairytale. It was like a higher power was bringing us together. We had dated 24 years prior when I was pregnant with my youngest daughter so we know each other. We were like most new couples you know we had sex you know probably 3 to 4 times a week. Our relationship went quite fast we dated for about five months then we got married it took over a week to even consummate are married. It was like once he said I do it was he didn't anymore and then we had a big fight two months after we were married when I brought up an ex-girlfriend because she had been texting him. And he told me that if I ever brought her up again that we were over. So me being the smart ass person that I am I went to the library and got divorce papers laid them down in front of him and started asking more questions this next day. Since that day three and a half years ago we have had no sex. I am to the point of contemplating a divorce because I am not happy by any means. But since I have listened to some videos and realize that I am a reactive intimacy anorexic I think that maybe he and I can work on things and it would work out but I don't know I need help

Thank you for this video. My spouse has ASD and I understand it's not his fault, it's just in his genes...but I am so exhausted trynna understand him, neglecting myself, my feelings, my pride. His focus is his job, studies, ambition and I'm not sure if he still want to include me in his future.
I am depressed, unhappy.

Can you talk on parents' neglect on their children?

Dr.Doug Weiss how do I get a one on one with you?

All is family comes before is wife ? Married 18 years and is previous x wife was still on redial on his phone.
He finally walk away. But he a man so it all my fault? I deserve better. But lm so happy 😁

Thank you. Do you have private sessions

It's interesting you presume at the beginning of this video that the man is the one being neglected. I'm sure some are, but women are also neglected. My husband is a fine man, but he neglects me at sporadic intervals for no apparent reason. It's maddening. He's dealing with a lot right now, it may be he's depressed. But this happens even during happy times. I don't know what to do. It's always unexpected and goes on for weeks. 😢

Neglected due to adhd

It’s sad but my wife gives our dog more affection than she gives me. And I’m not exaggerating. My wife hasn’t so much as given me a kiss in months. But she will kiss, snuggle and hug our dog several times a day.

Sadly i think both issues are happening in my marriage.

Some times it’s the man who is fighting for the roommate to then back into the wife

And this is why I got a divorce. Not by choice but because my ex wife chose it. I never did anything wrong, she just chose to be the cheater and I hung around for the sake of my daughters until I had enough and left

Hi ...I have been married to my spouse over 27yrs
He hates confrontation or comes up with easy quick response, excuses and most of the time turns around and says I am delusional mind .
I do feel he does mind reading , gas lighting .
Lacks to support me expecialy when someone has been horrible, nasty towards me .
If I am physically hurt he finds it annoying that I complain about pain or expects me to take inflammatory tablets or pain killers and doesn't at all wonder if I am okay otherwise.
I felt neglected and worse unworthy !
I am dependable on him but sadly too exhausted to go on like this .
I desperately need help either leave or have him to leave the home that we built.

i feel ingored and ifeel like crying alot and i dont why he feels the need to not talk to me about whats going i asked something simple and he just went off no im not going to help u or uer so stupid u cant think for ur self and theres so much that he says that hurts my feeling he use to care about it but the last 2 years its been sad im feeling alone i feel like i dont matter so many other things going i jst want to cry

After 18 years my serial cheating husband is angry that I can not be intimate. How can I can communicate that I have 2 decades of conditioning to accept trauma, spousal and in law rejection as normal with the expectation to work out my petty expectations of respect that I am emotionally bankrupt and I have no more to give?

I have always done whatever I can to do the best in our relationship by support, communication, forgiveness, taking care of kids, household things, but I am trying to let go because it is starting to hurt me and not feel healthy for me anymore, and I am doing this so he could do his part as well, I have done enough already, I think it would be good for our relationship for him to do something as well, but it is not happening at all. Doesn’t want to talk to me, no closure at all, doesn’t even ask how I feel, I am very confused because he was actually the first to have interest in this relationship…. ?