Untangling BPD and Depression

Dr fox your videos have been so helpful for navigating my bpd ive learned so many things that didnt make sense beforehand as a person without any access to mental health help this is so valuable

I wish you were my therapist

Great video.

I struggle with balancing bpd and pmdd😐

I was Dx'd BPD 3 yrs ago. I'm still learning. Thank you for this series, cuz idk arse from elbow but i doubt more drugs are the answer

I just figured out that I have BPD at age 72 after almost a lifetime of major depression. My therapist disagrees. She will speak to my psychiatrist. I listened to your video from 5 years ago about this same subject. I liked it a lot. I think I was never diagnosed because I did not self-harm.

Dr. Fox, I really appreciate your efforts educating us about this condition. Not everyone who works in psychology can do that because it requires a good understanding of BPD and your approach to patients is so compassionate 🥰

Video on self-harm please 🥺

Hello Dr. Fox. I am in need of urgent help with my son who has recently had a breakdown in his reality. I know he’s suffered from depression for over 15 years but was never clinically diagnosed. Now he’s living ing in an alternative reality where he’s afraid and we’re out to get him, etc. I just don’t know what to do. Believe me, there’s more to this situation than what I am sharing now.

Finding your channel has helped me in so many ways. I’ll never be able to thank you enough. I still struggle but this channel has really helped me power through the tough times

"The borderline patient is depressed for a good reason. They don’t have a good life." - John Gunderson 😃😍

How do you know if you actually have BPD if you keep getting different diagnosis from different practitioners

Does BPD get the same sense of idk, boredom for lack of a better word that ASPD gets? You mentioned feelings of emptiness and I guess I get that but more when things for me are still and "normal" I always feel like something is missing idk how to describe this. I guess I can't "feel" unless it's "intense." That is what makes adding ADHD to this mix a total nightmare.

I like how you separate the depression, from emptiness, they are different. Another thing people confuse are "thoughts of grandeur/fantasies of power" vs. "disassociation." A video on that would be cool.

Ultimately, people just don't understand the immense boredom with ASPD and thoughts of grandeur present if you've got some NPD tendencies there that can happen. I need a thrill honestly being factor 2, but I'm not sure how that relates to factor 1. I associate factor 1 as being quite "dark" if that makes sense. And factor 2 ASPD is in my mind quite similar to if ADHD, NPD, and IED had a baby it'd be factor 2 ASPD lol. Is it common for people to have IED with BPD or another Cluster B? ASPD, NPD, and IED are never discussed on YT for sufferers. I never see it honestly. It's just all geared to slamming us with cluster b's as if we're out to get the world and abuse women. Which isn't true.

if you have chronic depression there’s almost nothing you can do, i think it’s so important to never forget the times you’ve been chronically depressed

to combat depression i’ve had to take a very extreme mindset, similar to how a soldier has to prepare themselves to die before war, i have to be prepared die just to get out of bed, or out of the chair that i’ve somehow ended up in, you have to make a sacrifice…

but with bpd… you can be making progress with the depression and your routine and habits and then get completely distracted by a lover and then pulled into all the associated anxieties which makes managing the depression impossible until you are abandoned and then you become suicidal because your entire identity was wrapped in that relationship

Wow thank you!

I was diagnosed with BPD in 2019 after having a major life crisis. I did DBT and intense counselling for a year which helped greatly. However, I couldn't help but feel broken. I appreciated the diagnosis after years of just thinking I was crazy, however I couldn't ever get away from the feeling of brokenness and feeling like I would never be "normal". It led me to make some huge, irrational choices, moving away from my children so they wouldn't see me in these states anymore, almost destroying my marriage. I wanted to disappear, be alone, never hurt those I love again. Then I found you Dr Fox. Your gentle attitude, your compassion and willingness to be open and honest about life with BPD has changed everything for me. When I'm splitting into an episode I quickly recognize it now and do the work needed to bring me back to reality. Your videos, your workbooks and your gentle voice remind me I am not broken. I am indeed human like everyone else. You have changed my life. I have a wonderful relationship with my children and in fact one of them has moved to be closer to where I am. My marriage, although different works so much better for both myself and my husband. I hope you understand the amazing impact you have on those with this condition. Life is not always easy, some days are worse than others, but I always know I can take some quiet time, listen to you and your advice, use your strategies and I will be OK on the other side. Thank you

I want to ask after iam finish my adiction my wife she have are trigger când i furyy whau cant escape this way

Comorbid major depression is the most difficult part of having BPD for me and what makes it so treatment resistant. I was in CBT and on medication for years and was still depressed. It got me out of perpetual crisis, but I needed to learn more than distress tolerance to do more than survive. Knowing how my thoughts are connected to my feelings made me frustrated with myself, because I didn't feel like I was capable of the uncomfortable change. I simply didn't have the necessary skills. After graduating from a comprehensive DBT program, I would say my BPD is in remission, but I still struggle with adulting and occasionally the emptiness takes me to a dark place in my head. Those negative thoughts are still there and I challenge them every day. It's exhausting. When I feel myself start to have an intense emotional reaction, I stop and check the facts and I try to hear wise mind. For a long time I couldn't find wise mind and got by with a really good soundtrack. You need to find something to give the void its color.

Is there a chance that complex bpd book will be translated to polish like bpd workbook? This workbook extreamly helpfull for me right now, even though I can speak in english and watch videos, reading a book in not my native language is still a challenge, espaciely more specialized psychological books

Its all bcs of CEN..

I can’t thank you enough for your example of emptiness & how it’s not = depression. I have a massive black hole inside that keeps expanding & yes I have MDD & more with BPD. I’ve been saying for a long time that I just feel hollow. I am so tired of others assuming what I need but don’t ask me which makes everything worse & once again being ignored cos no one is interested in what I have to say. The test is also spot on, I’m too afraid of people leaving cos it’s happened for decades so absolutely I’ll take control of it myself & stop any chance of the rejection & abandonment so I can stop it from happening . Thanks Dr Fox. Very much appreciated. I only wish I had someone to share this with, literally.

Hi Daniel 👋 I've been following you and kato Morton since i was 19 and was then diagnosed with bpd and with that came many questions and I meant some ppl who share is this illness and I thought it important to bring up your timing on this video as we were kind of going through the all good all bad scale and I am now medicated she is still unmedicated both formally diagnosed however the timing as stated above is really quite coincidental so we ended on a poor note as I was trying to get her to see her exes side since I had went through similar and we got to this point eventually but she has a trouble understanding what I'm pointing out and I guess in a way you were manifested because I was really feeling bad about it all and was becoming flustered trying to explain it so when your video came up it instantly resonated. Do you have a video on bpd loving bpd and both forming fp one unmedicated one medicated and kind of go through with us why we keep asking can a bpd love a bpd with and fp attachment medicated or unmedicated and I said I belive only bpd and bpd can with medication because she's even saying how now that I'm medicated im really quick to like shut down her toxic traits and she needs that now so were kind of just curious what you have to say please join in on our discussion we look forward to hearing from you

I wonder if you know about PMDD.. do bpd suffer with this more ??

Thanks!

Dr. Fox, I am so grateful for you and your videos. I can’t tell you how much you’ve impacted my life and my health—and my marriage!—for the better. No exaggeration here, I believe I would be suicidal and perhaps no longer here on this earth without your caring and generous offerings. You are a voice of reason, compassion, and practical action in a sea of chaos. You are a lifeline for so many. Thank you, with all my heart.

Thank you so much for this channel, you save lives ❤

My depression (mainly felt as anhedonia) is secondary to my chronic decades-long anxiety and prolonged trauma, which caused it. It is also caused by / a part of my BPD. I didn't realise I had this hideous emptiness and constant need for avoidance and distraction from it until a few years ago as from age 16 until about 42 (I'm 45 now), I almost always had a Favourite Person. It made me feel alive and interested in life. When I didn't have one, I'd feel bored and flat but I didn't connect any of it. I was more emotionally stable without an FP, but very...empty. And that feeling eventually causes me to feel depressed.

When I have been abandoned by an FP in the past, it felt like I ceased to exist. Like, without them, there was no one, as I was nothing but a hole inside that they had filled.

Antidepressants, mood stabilisers, antipsychotics and stimulants have not helped. The best med for my anxiety is benzos but they're obviously not ideal ongoing. The worst med for my overall mentality is anything activating, as it gives me more energy, but it automatically turns into nervous energy and tension, huge anxiety, dread and fear. And irritability and insomnia. But it does nothing for my mood or anhedonia.

I've been in therapy since 2018. CBT, DBT, ACT, IFS, Schema and Psychodynamic. I am no better.

My usual companion to BPD is dysthymia/persistent depression/whatever you wanna call it. But I recently had a rare encounter with the beast that is Major Depression...or if it wasn't "major", it'll certainly do til the real thing comes along. So I beat the beast back with 40 mg/day of Fluoxetine. But yeah, still going rounds with the BPD stuff. sigh Thank you, Dr. Fox. You are a light in the darkness. Hell, you're even better than Prozac lol.

Someone is diagnosed with schizoid affective disorder and bipolar and are given two types of antipsychotics but they have unrecognised bpd . Aspergers and cptsd . She is suicidal . What to do ?
Get Second opinion?
I fear for my daughter, shes been through too much trauma and torture.
Her father abandoned her when she was a child. She was put in foster care temporarily at 4. She was basically held against her will at 15 held like prisoner for a year and a half. Tortured , you name it.

Thank you! :) I hope you are well. Sorry.

Thank you so much

Stop pissing around and give them mushrooms that increase neuroscience has accepted pathways in the brain even trauma injuries,micro dose works massively and it's as game changer period and stargazing does wonders at obviously the right time of the day 🙏👉🌞♥️

I purchased your course today and I am not certain if the lessons are only provided weekly. I have struggled with this disorder for a long time and it has affected every aspect of my life. I will be 50 in a few years and I am not sure if I can withstand the next ten years of symptoms. I can't work because of it and struggle to maintain relationships and have reached a point where I feel absolutely hopeless no matter how much medication and therapy I simply don't want it anymore. I'm working through with my mental health team however I am starting to feel that I have nothing to look forward to in the future because it takes so much to manage it. I'm ready to go because I'm tired of trying to hold onto happiness. I'm going to give these lessons a try but I am definitely over the whole mental illness battle.

Can't fear abandonment after everyone has abandoned you. What a time to live!

I have been diagnosed with BPD in 2010 I can really relate to this and I understand it. This is really informative and interesting. This is really good and helpful. Xxxx

I was diagnosed about 7 years ago with BPD and I feel like I’ve done so much work to get better. I have gotten better but I still live with BPD. It’s exhausting. I’m tired of feeling the shame and emptiness.

would body image issues (like bolemia) be the "inner core" or would that be something comorbid? Thank you for doing these videos!

I just have question about thérapie of universite Megill To bpd. I just whant know if you one about and What you think about

And the thing that's difficult about this video, is that many might not be to this point yet. I can point to many times in my life where I would've just watched this video in complete apathy. But As I stand against my self-destructive programming... And try new things, and find remote success... I've been seeming to pick up momentum. I'm glad I have the Fox card equipped in my deck. 🎉

I hit rock bottom at 2021 and it took me 3 years to recover from depression. I have bpd too and I take my meds religiously, that's what keeps me alive and sane. But therapy is as important for a good mental health.

Dr Fox, can you do a video about building self worth for people who have had a life filled with bullying (child -even adult years) , and abuse/ emotional neglect as a child. I feel as though these as experiences on top of my “inner critic” make it feel absolutely impossible to ever feel “ok”. These experiences often lead to a lot of isolation or abusive situations which lead to having further underdeveloped social skills being unable to connect with people then compounds with the feelings of worthlessness and it’s just a viscous cycle. Especially for those of us that might be neurodivergent and becomes a prime target all through out life for people to mock, or alienate. Didn’t explain this welll but I’m sure you could explain it better ❤

THX Dr. Fox

The spoiler warning for The Shawshank Redemption (1994) had me laughing!!

I moved to a safer neighborhood, I was great for the first few days, now I feel horrible. I am realizing it is a pattern with me. Today I feel horrible. Yesterday I cried. I want to go back to my creator, my real "family' as I call it. Never felt this bad. People don't seem to understand, people are so cruel. Had 2 jerks tailgate me this week and bully me. At least I show up for life, make an effort, but it still seems never good enough. I didn't sleep well yesterday and today I feel HORRIBLE. I am thinking that everyone is thinking I am weird. I am trying to brush it off. I am trying mindfulness and buddhist bells to calm me down. I don't know if it will help. I just want to know how to deal with these feelings that I don't belong in this world, I don't fit in anywhere, I should hide and I am trash. I hope tomorrow I will feel better. I haven't been taking care of myself. I am feeling like I need it but less and less am I taking care of my needs, so my feelings are getting worse. I don't want to be miserable like this forever.