Setting BOUNDARIES with narcissists: everything YOU need to know

Thank you so much for your videos. I left after 30 years with a narcissist. I am learning to set boundaries.

Thank you 🙏💜

Thanks!

Narcissist people want to be u

Or that they can find someone better they always think they can until they discard you

They try to put the blame on you because they feel ur lesser than them

It's ok to have boundaries if none listens...that's not wrong especially if they don't listen many times

Keeping a record is very important

Stalking is the worst well all abuse is bad

Narcissist do all kinds of abuse they have no cares

Narcissist belive (they) don't have to follow rules not them u do

Narcissist don't care about your personal space or boundaries

@DoctorRamani Please, please, please remember that adult children can be the narcissist ignoring the boundaries of their parent. My NPD daughter listens to videos like this, then gaslights and calls all others who have had to set boundaries with her, the narcissists. She is very schooled on narcissists, but only applies it to all who love her and have tried desperately to reach her only to have her destroy one relationship after another. So, please use those children narcissists as examples also.

Great videos. Thank you

Im a empath and i feel everything

My son tells me im too emotional and her too

I think the hardest part of setting boundaries is recognizing the need for them with a person in your life. In my experience, this is because it requires you to fully understand and accept that, yes, that person is intentionally ignorant about basic human decency and common courtesy. Mine thinks these basics are for suckers and is proud to tell you so.

This topic is a lot to take in… my head is spinning… my recent boundary was this request: “can you give me the benefit of the doubt?”… this person made bad intentions up in her head and reacted defensively about a rumor that wasn’t true that was said about me and her and a situation (the rumor was not true) …

I did not have any boundaries for years and I just compromised all the time. I dropped into hell with my partner when I started putting boundaries and he kept crossing them. This started to make us feel not close enough and I just had fought every time and forgave him because this made me feel more comfortable and finally it led to a trauma that woke me up after 10 years, infidelity. Now he is begging to keep the marriage. Now he is not in touch with her, and he started therapy for himself to find out what is wrong with him. (He never went to therapy in 10 years because he thought he did not have any problem at all). Now, I feel guilt and pity for him that he is trying to be a better person. This one step that he took makes me feel uncertain about my decision even after the infidelity. He has almost all the symptoms of narcissism while not having some of them like devaluing me. he always says that I could success without him better, but I don't know if he only says that to make me feel sorry for him and that's the way to keep me in marriage or not.

My latest boundary was my mom keeps wanting me to go to her bible study which is a two hour long session. My religious beliefs are different from hers and I'm going through a divorce from a narcissist and I'm just not up for sitting two hours with strangers right now. I need alone time. So I told her no, I don't want to go. She responded by saying she can't keep going to God to pray for me if I'm not going to step up and join her bible study. I told her my relationship with God is between me and God and she doesn't need to worry about me, and I stood by my decision. She hasn't mentioned it since.

I love your vids...but the sound is very low

My two younger sisters are narcissists. When we were young, we lived together. They used to talk on the phone with friends and spoke loudly outside my room around 11 p.m. when I was in bed. Every time I told them to stop, it was just a long fight and arguing for days! They raged at me every time when I complained! But come on, I had my school and exam, but they were still young. My mom blamed me for not being willing to compromise as an elder sister at home. That led me so many years of tiredness and sleepless nights. I ended up not bothered by any of their narcissistic behaviour. I was almost in tears when I was watching your videos. I wish you could be my mom.

My ex threatens her past trauma on me or doing things that brought back the tramway and then when I’m to blame I get thrown out always. And she threatens really messed up things on me knowing my past…and she knows I’ve got a lot to lose the even lies will put me away for a long time and it sucks….

The narc will not change,but you will find relief.

I finally got boundaries when I heard you say boundaries are for ones self. Also, I decided to honour myself and values and my own moral compass. I talk once or perhaps twice on obvious boundary issues like racism, sexism, invalidating, and belittling and enabling gross abusers. If the person makes those transgressions and crosses my line again, I dump them. I am not nice about it, I may or may not call out their negative behaviour again. I do then make a point of telling on them and what they did to me. Now, I get busy pursuing my own interests and make no time for those assholes including their enablers I know the asshole is going to shit on something because that is what assholes do. I don't need another asshole in my life because I already have one.

Dear Doctor Ramani, many warm regards from Germany! Your session are so great and useful for the partner of narcissist's. I have to learn to set boundaries 10 years by "learning-by-doing". Now it works perfectly... for me, not for him ;)

I have tried to set boundaries two times with different siblings to not tell me bad things about other people.
One treated me like I had something wrong with me. The other came into my face, pointing a finger and shouting, "You need to know what's going on!" I said that no, I didn't, then promptly cancelled a lunch they had wanted with me. (I suspect they had wanted to win me over to their side in a conflict.)
I think that the next time one crosses my boundary, I will remind that I don't want to hear it....then warn them if they continue I will feel the need to go to the other person to get their side of the story. I don't like getting into the middle of others' conflicts, so my preference is to not hear it. But it's up to them.
*Is there anything here I need to do differently or understand?

Thank you thank you thank you. Words cannot express how helpful this video was for me. I am extremely grateful.

I feel like this is the hardest thing to adapt to in a marriage with a narcissist. The person will usually impose blame on people around them for saying “no”, and that blame wall is made of titanium. I guess just be the adult and consider they think only in terms of their desires (like a child).

Recent.y broke up with my ex. I would set a boundary, and he would argue or deflect. I’d set consequences to have my boundaries crossed or disrespected. The consequences don’t work because he has no shame for how low he would stoop to fight the boundary. My boundaries end in black mail. Run!!

The above comment is obviously baiting. Grow up and go away. Miss E J Folkestone Kent.

❤️❤️ Thank You! ❤️❤️

How do I know who is the narcissist? Me or them? I see both.

I’m so messed up also, I recognise this but she would never talk,?.
Ever,?, that’s for ya Mom or your Therapist,?.
Is what she said.???
She boils my blood

Yeah HER BOUNDARIES,? We’re communicating with another male,? Sexually when in a relationship with me,?.
It was an excuse,??
Then I’m the bad one huh,??

I just found you and you are wonderful.❤

# your a lifesaver

When i began to grey rock my narcissistic colleague, that’s when the rage came out…for months! She actually went out of her way to rail against me to anyone who’d listen…out of control stuff. I left the job…HR were useless. Since then so many members of the team have left. But the narcissist is still there. I notice, one year on, they havent come up with a single new initiative or done anything that wasn’t already planned.

Most powerful boundary we have is not to engage with someone who is not good for us. Best piece of advice Dr Ramani.❤

I have a doormat (Amazon), that reads, "Did you call first?"

Enlightened: Narcissists and Flying Monkeys may come and tell you what are supposed to be their tales of personal trauma or things they got away with, in order to get you to share yours. They were lying, you told the truth. Later, you really regret it.

Watching this because my sister is showing some scary crazy narcissistic behavior but after watching this wonder if she thinks I'm the narcissist and trying to use tactics to shut me down lol

From my experience narcissists with misuse boundaries and twist it to use it against the victim. See Jonah Hill as a public example of this. Therapists should be more trained in this area as I feel like Ns are equipped to better manipulate with therapist speak.

my mom basically views me as a work hoarse for her. She started getting on my ass because i told her that i would clean the cat box after i was done filling out paperwork for my job that had a deadline because "that can wait"... so can the catbox lol

How do I deal with a narcissistic business partner who is also my best friend

I'm a EMPATH and set a Boundary of Not attending MY FAMILY REUNION which of course left many people Angry with me but I was very Happy to understand,/know how My Family saw me as simply a convience not a person!!!

I try to very politely make boundaries.. But it's like I never said a word.. Those boundaries constantly are crossed. The only way to keep my boundaries...will be to take the REPERCUSSIONS of demanding they be kept.😔

Everything I asked her not to do, she did. I even learned not speak or set boundaries anymore. However, when the insults began, I begged her not to do and it got worse. I was insulted and cursed over and over. I've ended the relationship and in her mind all is well and she is now convincing her flying monkeys and too much into my family and playing the innocent angel. I asked her not to be in contact with my family. The more I ask her of something not to do, the more she does it. 😠

Is there a video on actual verbiage that can be used when setting a boundary? I really need examples of what to actually say, how to word it. I'm having a hard time.