POCD: The OCD Fear of Turning into a Pedophile

my fear is what if the fear turns into wanting to think about it or do something? Not having that fear any more?

Quit normalizing mental illness.

Can you be a good parent and have pocd?

I’m eighteen years old and I’m not attracted to children. It’s mental suffering, it’s like I’m handcuffed. I’m seeing images of little kids and me doing inappropriate things to them. Like I can’t not think these thoughts or seeing these images. I’m not a child predator, no matter how hard to fight the truth my brain tells me I am into childern and so many things like I’m transgender or I’m into kids and it’s like. These things aren’t real, they aren’t facts. The thoughts are so real and so scary and disturbing and disgusting and make me suffer. It gives tears behind the eyes a new meaning because all the battle is happening inside my own head. I’m literally being tourmented in my own head but I don’t get attracted to kids. I’m not into childern.

ITS like if you were making toast and your brain keeps showing you images of you murdering someone. Like why. WHY WHY WHY AM I EXPERIENCING IT.

It’s not about the fact I’m not acting on it. It’s not about the fact I don’t like kids. It’s about THE FACT IM STILL. EXPERIACING IT.

Thank you so much for this. I had a question. I was wondering, as I had come across this wonder in the past as I've read the Bible for many different periods of time throughout my life ( not as much as I've wanted to but) I've come across many ideas leading me to believe that Paul in the Bible may have had OCD. The reason why I am discussing this is because I often had/ have this fear that I have upset God in some way because of my thoughts and feelings. I had thought about this for a while but a video I came across reminded me of the fact that I had thought about this at one point in my adulthood, and it made me think back to all of the times that those thoughts and feelings popped in my mind throughout my childhood and adulthood. I've been dealing with plcd thoughts ever since I was 10 and I've been self-harming ever since I was 10. But fortunately now I am finally finding a psychologist. Thanks again for what you do.

Makes me feel better ...thank you so much ❤️

I am transgender so I have taken on the stereotype that all trans women r oedophile or men in dresses which really hurt u know cuz it’s like I have taken that on and I’m like wait a second am I oh god am I! But come to find out the high majority of trans woman aren’t even close to a pedophile it’s what society taught people which is really fucked I’ll and sad. Cuz now I will go to places and not be transitioned yet and get this feeling like people r gonna think I’m a creep or a oedophile and I’m not but my brain takes it as that so I avoid ugh! It’s so fucked up I hate it. I’m trying to work through it by telling myself I’m a good person all that internalized transphobia is from society it’s not a who i am! Some simple affirmations that help me r I am a good soul I would never hurt a child. It’s kinda like pennywise the clown he tries to get to peoples fears in their head but once they stand up and tel it hey I’m stronger than you that’s not true. So once I detach that what’ve been told has nothing to do with me. It’s trying to make me fear the ultimate thing I don’t wanna become

I def have pocd because I get anxiety like that so that’s a relief 😅

I read an absolute shit ton of posts on Twitter tonight about how people believe POCD is simply normalising/justifying actual pedophilia, and. a lot of people saying that if you have it you're automatically a pedophile and you deserve to be put down, I have no sympathy for you, you deserve everything that's coming to you, you're the lowest of the low etc etc etc. Someone even said this because they claimed they were sexually abused in the past, and they thought that somehow that made their claims about how if you're a POCD sufferer then you're a bad person, you deserve to die, death penalty is the only way to deal with people like you etc. I understand past sexual abuse may make you think these thoughts about POCD sufferers are justified, but the truth is they're really not. POCD sufferers are literally the direct opposite of child predators, and it's people online who say they deserve to die that make them feel even worse than they already do. POCD sufferers hate themselves enough as it is, they do not need to be made to feel even worse due to people who don't, and probably never will, understand what being tortured by intrusive thoughts is like.

Thank you

I fell as if I have pics pocd I have intrusive thoughts and unwanted images but I work with kids and fell fine around them so I’m just confused because your saying people with pocd avoid children

I may have pocd. Because I don't want sex with children. But the problem with pedophiles you also have people who don't act on it. How should we now we aren't just like them. Because I love children and when I walk in the streets I love to look at them because they are so handsome and happy. How should we know de difference between pocd and pedophiles who don't act. As we don't have to much information on non acting pedophiles.

Do any of you ever have "stress orgasms" when the thoughts come up?

I stopped watching pxrn and it went away lol

I hate when I feel aroused to these thoughts because obviously as humans we like that feeling and to enjoy the aroused feeling with a thought we don’t enjoy but the urge to keep the aroused we obsess of the thought sucks.

This was so liberating!!!

I feel like If I get over or ignore these thoughts, it means i don't fear those thoughts anymore and that I'm actually a p*._.

Thankyou ladies, you touched on every single thing that I have been struggling with. Some days are so hard you don't want to live anymore

How can I contact Alison? I would like to talk to her about my ocd theme! Please!!

I think I have had this OCD since childhood. I don’t know where it came from.
It got so much worse when I was abused later in childhood.
But it’s not always me doing something to someone younger than me.
Sometimes I have thoughts of the bad thing happening to me.
Is that still POCD?

I hate it so much. I'm getting help but I still feel so awful for having this. I feel so guilty, and it makes me no longer want to have children. It feels so real that I feel that killing myself is the only way out. I'd rather hurt myself than a child. One moment, you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, then you just feel numb. It drives me nuts. When I start to beak down, I just keep saying "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Cause I don't know what else to say.

Thank you for your bravery and help. I was looking for this

Sexual OCD is very very real and if someone who says otherwise does not have it and can not get it. My wife has panic attacks and I learned to not tell her to calm down. Does no good. You cant understand..

Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

I feel so uncomfortable with all of these intrusive thoughts. It’s so disgusting and disturbing. And it’s so fucking terrifying.

ok is this obsessing over doing something that is fine but you irrationally think it is wrong? I'm so confused, so this isn't ACTUAL pedophilia?

I'm 18 and I have POCD. I sometimes wish I can just end it all.

Thank you! Ive been so scared I'm going through puberty and my mom said it's normal, so I got attracted to wrong things and it caused bad thoughts in my head and I talked about it with mom. She said I was a good person, am I a good person? I'm a young girl

If you think or consider that you're crazy, that means you're not.

thank you for sharing your experiences. I cried so much watching this. i've felt so isolated because nobody in the world can understand my symptoms and thought I can't make my husband and own child through entire life and eventually die alone. in my country there is few clinics which can offer ERP for OCD and unfortunately due to the COVID-19, it becomes much longer to make appointment. but I deeply got hope thanks to you. I won't give up myself.

hi.. i just triggered myself by watching the jeffrey epstine documentary and now i’m catastrophizing.. is it normal to accept it as truth and want to end your life because you are evil and can never change?

I suffer from this. you not replying do you thing I am those twisted people I hate those people burn them alive I tried to cut my own private part and was in hospital self harming and tried to take my life anixety makes me feel I need the toilet if saw something that triggers my anixety

I need a pee sometimes even just by looking something to do with the subject I feel I need to the toilet my introrovise thoughts head says your horny they I believe it but I'm not work that out or anixety and mix with hormones

"Anxiety over not having anxiety" finally someone who understands!

I have been suffering from POCD for a long time now. It is a cruel disorder and has cost me dearly. My family understand what I am going through thank goodness. I no longer have a relationship with my grandchildren and it's this which makes me cry everyday. There are days when I want to end it. I don't really want to die, but I can't carry on living like this.

All of you guys , I went through it extremely hard last year. It was the worst thing ever , on top of it being hard to even explain what was happening to me. I couldn't go out , these thoughts would play over and over and associate themselves , I couldn't get up , I would spend some much time so upset about it and crying. I stressed myself so much. Literally it was this dark cloud over me until I just released myself. I couldn't take it anymore , I told my Godfather. After that I went to see a Psychologist , I'm on medication. I'm totally through it. You guys need to get help and know whatever is in your mind is unreal.
You never did this and never will , let that be your reminder everytime your going through your anxiety , depression , worrying , stress , suicidal thoughts.

If you want to know how I got through or talk openly about it , my number is 7044134287 and my ig is @tecklamusic.

Do not mention public allegations in pop culture or politics when it comes to these tough situations.

It makes everything worse.

I learned my lesson by having it deleted because it enabled stigma.

I apologized to the person who deleted the comment because it wasn’t right.

Thankyou so much Chrissie and Alison😀😀😀

I've had thoughts of fucking my dog

Your great I appreciate your wisdom

I'm losing my mind with joy at finding out that I'm not the only one like wholy shit

but sometimes my compulsions take like 5minutes because I don’t have time and also I feel bad because my compulsions take 40 minutes an hour or an hour and a half , and she said a huge chunck of time but mine don’t, but one day it was for about 5 hours so idk and sometimes it feels like do even have ocd or am I a monster.

Save me

This is difficult for me to say but I was going trough a weird phase at one point where normal porn was getting boring. So I watched a lot of weird stuff. What triggered pocd for me was these drawings of naked children (it's called loli). For some reason I got aroused. After that I believed that I was attracted to real children. That was not true. I am not nor was I ever attracted to actual children. Porn can mess with your head, there are also people who aren't really gay but they get thoughts, urges or reactions that makes them think so. I just wanted to say that if whoever is reading this is are going through what me and others have gone through, know that it's most likely the ocd bullshitting you. I don't have any attraction to children or drawings of them at all. If you have the same thing that I went through, you should search "pocd loli/shota" in google and you'll find other people's stories. Stay strong. 😊 ❤️️ YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Will i get put in a mental hospital if i tell my therapist about this

I think I got it ocd

That urge thing happens to me lol😔

But after watching your vids makes me feel Better