Relationships After Baby #3?! ‍Send To New Parents!

U know i think we as women woukd handle even 20 Children because thats how we are in our soul ( caregivers,patience,love inconditionnly etc) buttttt i think its ABSOLUTELY beautiful to also say i want This manny Children and im done ( for the reason of absolutely enjoyung the Children u have, the ages they are, being present, also conectinf with ur husband, and not being aeay in a corner with a fussy neworn or baby , or even not being abel to enjoy some stuff like ( rides, bisyclling, going to the cinema and other stuff u can do with the chikdren u have whi are now 5,10 year old. U know why start over and the Children u already have alsoo have to hear screaming from the new baby, other routine changes, and not having mommy and daddy as present as they could be. And dont forget they already have one sibling ( for the ines wirh 2 kids) ♥️ and also thosw sahm who do 80% of raising children themselves because husband have to work 5:00am to 6:00 pm ( which we are so thankful that they sacrifice themself in the cold and away from their own children , so that we are warm and cozy and happy) but still saying as a sahm 80% we have to raise the Children and be as happy as we can be and present! And hiw the heck u gonna di that with 5+ Children ( u can) bit not as enjoyabble as u would wirh 2-3 children. Honeslty! ♥️♥️♥️

Needed this! Thank you!

Regarding meal planning; We have magnets on our fridge with loads of different meals (just small white rectangular ones you can write on) and a board with the days of the week. Thursday night, me and my husband stand in front of the fridge and decide what to eat for the upcoming week together. After that, writing what to buy and ordering it it easy. It's the "creative" part of what to chose that is hard.

To help: meals!

Accept that the relationship you had pre kids is done. You are building somehting new and it is up to the two of you to choose what that looks like, I think too many people are waiting for the chaos to stop and their relationship to go back to how it was. It is freeing to realize you will never be that couple agian, and then decide who you want to be

Does anyone else have a 2 yr old, (25months) at home, not in daycare and a newborn? How do you do it? Sometimes it feels impossible and extremely stressful

Not on you but I wish there was this same perspective for two working parents and one is remote working.

I have a very hard time asking for help & delegating tasks that I can’t do, don’t like, or am not good at. Our daughter is almost 3, & I’ve only just started to get better at it. Our partners are not mind readers. Instead of me resenting my wife, if I just say “I’m having a hard time with XYZ… can you do that today?” or “I’m not great at XYZ, can you do that?” She’s almost always happy to do it. I just have to ask her, then get out of the way & let her do it HER WAY. ❤

I love the communication and "just ask" mindset you're talking about here. I need to remember to just ask my husband for help with the things that are overwhelming. Even when those things are tasks I know he doesn't gravitate toward and that are usually under my management. We find that physically writing down "to do" lists for the day is a great way for us to communicate to the other how we want our day to go. We're about to have our third baby and our first two are gonna be 3.5 and 15 months. I can't imagine how much mental headspace it's going to clear up to just write things down that I can point him to when he's asking what I need help with.

Having compassion for your husband (even though it feels like he's doing less than you) and not talking badly about him to anyone else is SO SLEPT ON IN THIS COMMENTS SECTION. Love that you brought that up!

I really like you and your content ❤️ you are like a family member for me . I relate , learn and laugh out loud. Thank you for everything

The lawn part omg. So rateable 🤣

Agree about being a team. We developed an “us against the world” and not each other mindset and it’s helped so much!

I will be revisiting this video as a reminder when I am postpartum with baby 3 in December. 😅

This is probably one of your best videos ever... Thanks!

I just want to say that I always look forward to your videos! Now even more than before because my little one is 5 months (Von!!) and I’ve been watching you since I got this sudden urge to be a mother around the time you had AJ. Anyway something I’ve been struggling with a lot is not having any family support (they’re all 5 hours away), and feeling burnt out. A lot of influencers and mom vloggers mention having family that helps a lot and I’ve been having a hard time connecting with that. But it seems like maybe you’re both also doing it mostly on your own. And that speaks a lot to me in not feeling so alone. I want to hire help but my husband isn’t fully bought in to the idea yet. Sorry for rambling but if you were looking for video ideas maybe one about not having grandparents to take the babies every weekend and what to do instead 😂

I love how similar you and Seth approach your relationship and parenting to me and my husband. Sometimes it feels like there’s no one else who can relate. 🫶🏻

I watch your videos in the mornings and you always remind me to take my vitamins with your advertisement 😂

I’m about to have my 3rd baby, and we will have 3 under 3, safe to say life is pretty busy right now. But my husband and I made a pact to sit down at night every Monday and Thursday and check in w each other on how our marriage is going, what we have going that week, any concerns, and what we are spending our money on. Twice a week for 30 minutes really isn’t bad and it has helped us a lot stay on the same page. Amazingly, we have been able to stick w it.
If I have an issue come up, I’ll save the topic for Monday or Thursday, so he doesn’t feel like I’m on his case all the time.

When it comes to finding the honey I always tell myself "there's more than one way to do the right thing and there's more than one way to do something right!"

Love this. I could have a 10 hour conversation about this.

Thank you for sharing your experiences and how you’ve used mindset! I’m struggling with this exact topic right now and find the stories and tips so helpful. ❤

Being able to bend like a willow tree has been the BEST thing for parenthood. No day is ever the same. Adaptability and grace for your partner is key. Knowing that some things just won’t get done is totally a thing. I have had to learn to LET GO AND SAY THANK YOU. Laundry isn’t folded the way I do it, but it’s done at the dryer is empty- THANK YOU.

I could give 2 shi*s if the lawn is mowed. Big facts. 😂 just like they don’t care if the counter is clear.

Love this!!

You rock, girl! No, I couldn’t feel well if my husband went golfing when I can’t even go to the restroom…

Yess the empathy you described is the exact reason why your relationship is getting stronger and more fulfilling with new challenges. I'm glad you spread the word, this is THE key to growing old together and actually enjoying it :)

Hair looks great 🙌🏼

Wait so the girls are in school?!

If so I LOVE IT!

Love this!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

LOOK at the baby 🥰🥰🥰🥰😍

Ok the first 18 seconds is the reason why I do everything myself

I love your videos Shayla!! Every point you made is so true and I need to communicate with my hubby about it more! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!! I needed this!

These videos help me so much. Now how do I get my boyfriend to appreciate and work on treating me with the same kindness and grace? I do well with the mindset shift until his ungrateful mess piles up and I lose it.

But it’s not like he was supporting you while you took a break, he supported you while you worked, and you supported him while he worked. I hope you get breaks too.

I laughed at "this is monumental". So true, so funny.

You describing your inability to mentally come up with things for people to help you with is 100% true! I don't have the time or mental capacity to figure out what I can pass along and then explain to someone how to do it.

Girl…. As your friend…. 💞 Slow down in the intro. Your mind will thank you if you take 5 seconds more to have time to even finish one word before you start the next. You’re like 🫨 “hey my name is Shayla blarblahwerwtiiuybll 🫨

What you’re saying is relevant and we have time to listen to you say it.
You have time as well, and if that’s not true, pre-record it and use a voiceover to systemize your time better 💪💞

Thank you for this video! Just had my second baby this summer and my husband works full time and travels and we own our own business so there is a lot to juggle. The mindset focus really helps to stop talking tired tired attitude out on each other and work more to support each other.

I FELT EVERY expression you gave when talking about these things 😆I find myself often saying and thinking "NOW, you understand how it's like." and I feel attacked when he expresses that he's tired after a day out climbing. I feel these things when it feels like unfair division of labour/free time or when I feel like my work is not acknowledged.

BUT it is wayyy more effective when I choose to acknowledge his contributions and express what I need. Criticism only leads to less help and more resentment on both sides, downward spiral. Thanks for sharing Shayla!

p.s. suffered a lot postpartum due to slow recovery and my husband didn't know I was in pain because I thought he should be able to see but he didn't! He thought I didn't want move from the room because of my culture where we do 40 days "confinement" when I am actually in pain and couldn't do a lot of things besides taking care of the newborn!

Sooo appreciate your mindset! We're expecting first child any day now, and I value the perspectives and communication tools you share here. Postpartum is going to be a vulnerable time for each spouse in different ways, and hearing how you both have chosen positivity, love and empathy inspires me to bring my best to this season, too! ❤️

What’s the workout app you use!! I can’t remember!

It’s AMAZING when your relationship is in a great place so you genuinely want to help and love on your partner. After over 20 years and 2 kids together I now take a step back and check in with my body when I don’t feel that way and actually do something about it fairly quickly (instead of letting the resentment build or crap talking with friends like you said). Sometimes that’s a conversation, a date night, therapy session, or it’s just my emotions and I sleep on it and feel better in the morning lol. Great video as always ❤

(My newest way to make life easier is ChatGPT for meal planning, schedules, ideas, and everything. I talk to it like another human haha)

Yessss… I loved that moment after two weeks postP my husband went golfing then after three weeks postP I ask him if I could go golfing and we all just laughed at each other like as if going to work isn’t actually more than a break than parenting 3 kids under the age of five… ahhhhhh… great times …. Great decisions we made together… woooow