The 7 Ways We Attract a Narcissist

im afraid to even watch this. if she finds out im watching this she will immediately be offended, get angry, and start being mean and disrespectful. I felt the need to educate myself when i revealed that she would rather be angry and mean, or have nothing to do with me, after i challenged her to be loving, that if she actually loved me than she wouldnt want me to feel like shit constantly and actually treat me like she cares about how i feel, and instead she chose to rather have nothing to do with me, flat out ignore me. CRAZY. who the hell on this planet would prefer to hurt someone when given the option to embrace love or continue being hateful.

Hi Kenny, it’s great that you did this video. It took me 34 years to realize I married a Covert Narcissist. Then in the past year after 3 years. I am now aware that I’m codependent. I became aware it’s because of my childhood trauma when I became a people pleaser. I started the habit of fawning. Then as an adult I became codependent. My therapist doesn’t believe in empaths.. Oh my lord, I said to him I see it like a continuum. The narcissist at one end, and the empath at the other. I am responsible for injury of a narcissist in my marriage. I didn’t know about narcissism, so being empathetic, intuitive, and having self awareness. I confronted him.

You can’t teach what true love is. It’s probable to teach guidelines. If you taught what true love is that would arm a Narcissist to be a better con artist.

Hi Kenny, I figured out about the continuum of Narcissism and empathetic.
I also figured out that I fell into my relationship for what I recognized that was good in my mom or childhood.
In 1997 before I asked about marriage counseling, I told my therapist I just noticed I married my mother. She didn’t get it. A 100% red flag she didn’t see. In the 90’s therapist were all about fixing me. I was broken. The therapist didn’t investigate what’s going on now that is the cause. Now therapy is all about the present moment. When will it balance? I told my therapist if I am always in the present you would not have a job. He agreed. Unfortunately, because of my trauma I question a lot of ideas. I’m a challenge. I’m not bragging. I think it’s unfortunate.

Kenny, women divorce too.
I’m happy for you to have the ability and intelligence to gain knowledge to have peace of mind.
By the way, have a blessed new year.

Kenny, have you looked at the point the opposite side of narcissism is the search for the love we wanted all the while we were a child, and it never happened. Instead all I knew was abandonment. Then I ironically abandoned myself.

Kenny, what I truly want is peace. I’m not searching for love. I would be grateful for that gift.

I don’t even know how to thank you for this video. What a relief…to hear the truth.

The amount of self work one need to do to have such a level of self wareness! That s great! Thanks for sharing

I need to figure out why I attract these individuals. This is why I am watching this video. I will not change for him. NO.

I absolutely love the way you explain something so complicated and confusing.. Thank you! 👍

A year ago I would have been so unhealed not to accept and understand the truths of this message. I thank you. It makes me understand my role in choosing that relationship and it turned out.

The why it’s always the one on top hurting the one at the bottom ?

How to be narc-proof

Kenny you nailed it yet again....I sought people at work that resembled abusive siblings so I could finish the unfinished business.... My wife and I talk about triggers we are using on each other - and we agreed to insulate the other from the abuse we experienced as children. I don't agree we are addicted to reliving - We have unfinished business and balance needs to be. established but the person has died or not near enough for me to repay them for the abuse...I used music - work the anger through until I can recognize it.

Its me.I have learn alot.

Traumatized people continue practicing the things that allowed them to survive during those times. By understanding and knowing such matters we can be more mindful and not absorb such issues. With love all things are possible but it takes self awareness.

I write advice columns in quite a few online support groups for narcissist abuse recovery and I don't know HOW MANY groups I have been kicked out of for victim blaming when that is not at all what im doing, nor am I minimizing their behavior. 1st i educate people on narcissim itself because the term is thrown around so loosely these days its lost its actual meaning, but after educating people on what makes a narcissist and what needs to be present to diagnose one I have been trying to teach this exact side of the dynamic for 4 years now. And I have made a lot of progress and help alot of people take a look at their own role and really own it in order to start healing it. Had one group call and and ask me to come back because people were asking what happened to my harsh reality checking, hard to fully accept but solid and sound advice. It is so awesome to find someone that has centered and focused on this aspect of the debilitating cycle that traps a lot of people in their misery. I do not make videos but my columns I do save and will eventually make them into a book. Alot of my columns focus on the person looking at themselves and how the only person that can save them IS THEM THEMSELVES. Looking forward to more videos.

I needed to see this omg😢

Very refreshing..another excellent explanation...so good to hear the other side for a change :)

I never realized how bad my childhood was until I went on my healing journey

Kenny, thank you so much for your work. I'm on the tail end of a healing process from a breakup, it's been 5 months of hell since I ran for the hills. I found your work yesterday, at the exact time I need to hear it. I'm ready to look at my own contributions to this past relationship, why I was attractive to and attracted to a clinical narcissist. I appreciate your ability to speak tough truths with firm, honest and accountable delivery. Thank you so much.

I can totally relate _ you have to be narky to around narky. We all married our narky father. I thought the theys were organized but now I realize in a closed system the roles are set in stone. Its groundhog day over and over and over.

I will not pitty their trauma as a child. The depth of evil, I have to fight becoming vindictive like them.

Well I don't think anybody in there right mind would want to be with a narcisisst if they knew they were one .I didnt know anything at all about narcisissts until I was going through it and trying to understand his behaviour then came across videos like yourself by that time it was too late was already with him for 7 years before I knew .its been one of the most horrendous times in my health recovering has been hard .I do agree that I must of had abandonment issues when I was a child as always looking to be loved . Very interesting vlog thank you any knowledge is good .

The saddest thing is that we forget the abuse and killing and how dangerous both can be!😢

They are the Dracula's!!!😂

Righton: No one, Noone pulls themselves by the bootstraps anymore or takes responsibilility for anythng at all. Not in the uSA!

Their childhood was not necessarily horrific. Yet, they perceived it this way, because reality is hard for them, from the beginning of their life.

Interdependence is normal for narcissists. They exist in a relationship.

Wow. I’ve seen a lot of vids on this. Most recently I’ve seen videos on the spiritual aspect of it which helps a lot but this really resinates with me.

Thank you for explaining and pointing on our own responsebility !

Wow, thank you so much this was what I needed to hear, everything you said to the T was helpful.

I don’t like this approach - it is not 50-50 in a rekashionsgip with a narcissist after we are aware. What do we do to make them act nasty? And you make it sound so easy - take your responsibility and walk away. Not everybody can do it. Also I disagree that codependents are attracted or attract narcissists. Narcissists are often charming and attractive - that is what all people like regardless of their attachment styles. And the narcissists are attracted to high value, high status, strong individuals who they can pray on if they have weak boundaries.

Love this video! Yes, we all have to eventually hold ourselves accountable for our actions and behaviors. We are always the common denominator in relationships, so we cannot continue to blame others or feel victimized. These people come into our lives for lessons, and for our growth. Something deep within the subconscious believe we are not worthy of the love and respect we deserve. It takes a great deal of work not only to recognize this, but to try to change it. These videos help so many to discover what NPD is, and how we can begin our healing journey.
Thank you❤

This is a sad truth about us, so called victims ( even we are...) - excitement of our subconscious when we meet our abusers- we are home...finally...love and pain together...Thank you Kenneth!!!❤❤❤❤❤

great content! love your suits also 💙🤍

Thank you so much. The moment i started to listen to you, watch your video's and reading your book i feel closer to my heart. I find all truth in it. It is also a bit scary and confronting. And I also want to fix you immediately (😂) to tell you not to say that we break your heart, because their are words that will help you more to heal your heart. But anyway you are so right in any way. Thank you again.

kenny is THE man. brilliant info. im borderline and with a female narc. its been an absolute nightmare, we're both trauma bonded so we break up and say horrible crap to each other in the moment, its maddening. but then, after saying we'll never talk to each other again, lo and behold we're back together for a day or two, rinse and repeat. nightmare. i feel like i love the girl but if anyone else had said/done to me the things she has i would have finished with them and never looked back. so, do i really love her/ she love me? who knows, but it is a toxic relationship and if i could just forget about her tomorrow i would!! its crazy. because we both have issues we need to address its unworkable really. broke up 100s of times. i would kill for a normal, loving relationship!! thanks for showing us the way out, Kenny! love your work.

Thank you for this video. It's not easy to face up to your own responsibility, but it's necessary. Even if it is hard and hurts. I was in a very unhealthy relationship with a woman for 6 months. Things happened to me with her that shocked me. It was so painful and so out of this world that it ended in depression afterwards (hospitalisation including a stay in hospital). And I also knew from the start that something was wrong with this woman. It was blatantly obvious, I even articulated it to friends. Why did I stay anyway? It was a mixture of visual attractiveness, my own vanity, feeling superior and wanting to save her or explain the world to her (because she was - supposedly - so wrong). Yes, she is a woman I would never want to be with again and it was just a horror, BUT I let it go on for too long. AND I let it happen, even though everything in me railed against it: Gut, head, body, instinct - everything was screaming ALARM; I didn't listen. WHY? Because I had no self-worth, because I felt small and didn't stand up for myself firmly enough. And also because I didn't realise that such things can happen when you are emotionally used and tormented by a narcissist. Today I see it as a lesson I had to learn.

Holy crap ive been saying i have peter pan syndrome. I have tried to fix men ive dated. I gre up with a narcissist i was the crap child my brother was the golden child with my grandma i kicked her from my life around my two narcissistic relationships i replaced her omg. I did so many things for others i over give so much i dont love myself. I stopped dating and now im super depressed confused lost

🔥 🔥🔥

Brilliance. I’m subscribed. Thank you for empowering me and others with your experiences and knowledge.

Point one…we accidentally get pregnant by a narcissist when he was still showing his ‘good and charming and giving side’.

OMG this is so interesting. You just explained my whole life. “We dance in the game”. I can fix or change them. Never ending battle. Thank you for shining the light on two broken souls. 🙏

This evil narcissist i knew was in the beginning very weird and not that kind
But this evil narcissist went very Quick very evil
That narcissist was trying to change my fysical default
He did not like how i look
And this person him srlf was very ugly
I did not understand how a ugly narcissist like to change a other person when they are ugly themself and very crazy psychopat weird
I hope to never attract weird narcissist persons
Thank you for this info
⚘️🌹🌷🌲🌿🌿☕️🍃🍃🦋

Sir, I know I'm not a narc, but I've only been attracted to narcs.