Codependency - Enablers

What's that even mean?

victims that side w abusers, are abusers too. All abusers need victims & enabler in trauma triangle. My mother is poster child of the victim enabler.

Very true

So this guy just makes obvious observations of natural human behavior.... how about our codependency on government?¿?

Wow! I never really saw it this way.... I only saw it from the perspective of I was trying to help the other person.

Definitely dying inside. I see no exit. My disabilities keep progressing and the doctors are useless.

It’s funny how everyone pretend to be perfect

Thank you!❤

Have you got an audience? I don't think so....

But... We're all codependent on some level no? Why would we be social if not? What is the right boundary ethically and morally? The line is no so black and white as we think and it's pretty blurry at least as i see it, tell me if I'm missing something...

This is so true. I’ve been a codependent all my life, and finally on breaking totally away it’s my son 42 years of being codependent, and he is now 58 years old. I can’t even begin to tell you how I feel the fear at first the anticipation of whatever I don’t know, but now I feel such a relief, and gave it all to God cause I can’t do no more, and I’m so happy that I saw this this morning. God bless you sir and thank you.❤

And ohhh how we pay lol

If it wasnt for title IV divorce law, it would be easier to escape. Being responsible for anothers lifestyle causes misbehaving. Especially if its your wife. A living hell. I stayed to get her on SSDi. Wasn't ordered to pay a cheating lieing wife. Still had Entitlements hell to give through her Award'ds. Its a no way to win. Had the world till a destitute sweetalker who sees his cut through her.

I've recently noticed this about my father (codependent). I almost don't recognize him.

I think I’m one of the lucky ones…My partner and I met as patients on a mental ward. He was in for alcoholism and bipolar and I was in for psychosis at that time… I was in a high risk unit for a while before I moved to the milder part of the hospital and met him. But anyways we were outrageously sick together for 5-6 and then we just both effortlessly drifted into healing and growing and changing our lives completely and I’ve never been more secure towards a human being outside of the last few years I finally trust a human lol
I accepted that change was possible and finally knew I had a soul and change happened universally throughout my life ❤️‍🩹

Toxic Empathy. I was guilty of it

🌟💜🌟

I'm sorry mom. But you kept hurting me.

Dying inside....... Really?

Sicker and sicker until death...of the soul.

Dude , you have No clue.
They get better and better Off ...
Don't spread nonsence.

The better they get, the more they start to look arround for the next victim, as
you ( the giver becomes gradualy depleted snd they receivers feel
disgasted at you , and at their internal inability to give back).
They are sick and they will twist story
To getrid of you
in
Particular moment if next soft target crops up.

Etc etc
They may com back
.... Easily if thet get
discovered for
What they are.
...
Parasitic minds.

I think i told that in the previous comment
Iam ur enabler and I don’t care because friends can teach each other’s and be patient
if ur not learning things will be as he says and after some time things become boring
But if u learn and concentrate on seld learning and growing. And I don’t mean aging
And mean ur experience become mature

Can attest to this this was my whole family. Could feel parts of my dying everytime i went to that house. Never went back. Year later im still burnt out haunted and pooly in severe survival mode. Im alot 2D

💯❗

Yes Tim I totally understand.

I understood by being codependent, other's problem is not solved.

He speaks the truth. Leave

I dont even know who I am anymore either nc of meeting my oartners needs and so he wont get mad

I watch my mom do this. She's gotten unwell.

Me and my mom i want to live authentically for myself

This was me. Had to get alot of help to break free. I still have to stay very aware of this.

Most of the time the codependent is the problem lol 🤣 hence the dynamic codependent is a co addict not no savior go get a life is issue why so controlling of other 🤦🏻‍♀️

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉sooooooooo f'ing DONE! I'M EXHAUSTED! IF anyone doesn't like me they can 🖕off! I'm going to LIVE! ❤🎉❤

Loving someone more than God is idolatry. I felt my self doing that. Just detached with love.
Amen 🤍

I have just gone through exactly this and currently trying to break the bond, 4 weeks in. Feeling not too bad, went through hell for the initial 3 weeks. Was in a relationship with NPD BPD ADHD partner 🤯🤯🤯… my body started to break down and I was getting sick regularly with various conditions, the universe tried to tell me I was at the wrong place

SO, WHAT'S THE SOLUTION? LEAVING?

This is the best explanation of this I've ever heard

This is me, and I am lost on how to get A life

Amazingly explained 😮

Yes, so many of us were taught as children that we were not important, that our needs were not important, and that even caring about ourselves or our own needs/desires was just selfish and wrong. To this very day I am embarrassed of my own needs. Ashamed of my desires, ashamed that I even want to be loved. Because how could anyone love someone like me.🙈

Ditto
Recovery from being codependent

Tim Fletcher is so accurate in his descriptions

Exactly 💯

Can you be in both roles? My husband and I seem to be…

My wife I think is very codependent on her parents. And she's used a LOT of gaslighting and mental abuse to keep me compliant with her family dynamic. I would try to understand her and she would use my moments of listening as an open door to just beat me down and take me around a mountain of psychological tactics to shut me down, shame me, make me feel evil for even questioning how tight knit her family is. But I woke up and decided im only going to do what's rewarding for me. I'm going to call her on her bullshit now. No matter how ugly it gets. I'm calling it out. Not gonna live with it anymore. Not gonna cater to her family and their needs anymore. I'm just gonna do me and do whatever I see benefits me.

True that

This USED to be me yrs ago. Never again.
(I was the enabler)

💯💯💯💯💯

this is what I do to my ex.

Excellent explanation of this issue. My friend a hoarder in original home of eventually blind Dad, 4 much older girls. All fell on him. I was enabling him & he asked me not to do anything. I freaked of failure. His Daughter visited n left food n candy, tons. Now a mice 🐁 infestation. He’s ADHD, also diabetic, drinks less, but so very overwhelmed, depressed.
Wants no company. Sad ordeal.