Cultivating Collaboration: Don't Be So Defensive! | Jim Tamm | TEDxSantaCruz

I agree that defensiveness is problem, probably I do that every day. However on key thing that at I at least miss in this presentation is that you share and/or understand each other problems, because if you are going to solve a "problem" than you at least need to share that. But perhaps that is also blocked defensiveness.

Reminds me of competition between US and China.

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I think it's important to note that chickens don't act like this when they have plenty of space to live. It happens when they are crushed together in small spaces where they have to compete. I think that's a lesson humans can learn too!

I do not know how to. I'm more goal oriented. Does not mean I'm against it.

withdrawing into deadly silence and catastrophizing everything - haha

“You can’t compete externally if you can’t collaborate internally”. That is extremely helpful for encouraging teamwork! I love it!

Thank You Tube Algo for this recommendation!! I appreciate the collaboration.

Wow this was amazing

He should be training the government legislators how to collaborate so that we can get the business of governing our country moving forward.

I must say I am not scared of people. I just don’t trust them.
I haven’t experienced many reasons why trusting others has worked out for me.

Very inspring Talk. Love from Indonesia

Being Human first is the key to happiness and well being. Unfortunately it is not taught in modern management. The modern day norm that "Competition is required to be progressive and productive" is killing the human inside all of the us. Going to Sunday Church, Temple or other religious places is not making us human.

I was put off by the animal cruelty lead in, and I'm a chicken farmer... who is this guy

fun and absolutely inspiring. thanks!

Collaboration leads to higher levels of productivity overall

That was very useful. Thankyou

i humbly say, i don’t think it’s wrong to have the last word, especially if you know something is objectively correct (say, a research study) and you don’t want the opposition to keep saying false information. BUT what’s not okay, is if you respond right away in defense without even hearing openly what is to be said, just to deflect accountability, project guilt or just to say something to get their word in.

I’m a little confused why there’s a depicted blanket idea that defense is synonymous with getting defensive. When you’re having a conversation, and you’re responding with an opposing view, this is your defense, but does it mean that the approach is automatically defensive? No. the issue is when you broke combative in your defense. It’s also an issue if you’re being questioned for your something you do and you don’t take acknowledgement if indeed there is own. The problem now becomes that is discerning whether or not you really did do something wrong or if you were misperceived. but learning to be self aware and being accountable for mistakes after hearing the other party openly is the key. Learning to actually listen without getting defensive to see if you’re wrong or if you aren’t.

For example, i’ve learned hard to lower my pride. I have learned to humbly apologize and say yes if someone points something out that is not right or not portraying correctly that i say. I have no problem in apologizing. But if someone tells me the sky is green when it’s not, i won’t take a breath and just accept it. i won’t raise my voice or get defensive, but i won’t be okay that they don’t understand why it’s not green 😂

So lovely & helpful

Fantastic! Love it. Thank you.

Brilliant thank you.

What a great talk! Thanks TEDx

Many times I feel like people don't understand what I am going through

Thank you very much for this great speech. It so useful to hear not only in terms of collaboration but also for self-discovery and self-mastery as well.

I think collaboration is misunderstood but is VERY necessary. ✨MagicBrad✨

Lack of transcript makes this inaccessible.

Playing poor me
Wanting to be right
Flooring with information to prove a point
Yeah those are the stages i go through 🤦‍♀️
Now its all make sense
Any tips of action steps pls,?

I FREAKIN LOVE THIS

we need this now more than ever

Self-awareness is an essential tool unfortunately, many dont have it. Great talk!

😎

The fears that are referred to, I call them "insecurities". and with both self as well as with others, knowing the insecurities (and of course manifestations of these) wins half the battle in dealing with conflicts, disagreements and promoting collaboration. Great talk.

Ni los aún títulos están en español

Lo necesito en español

I just cannot stop smiling! I just breathed into that blank paper and I feel happier and lighter 🦋

Such a great talk... thanks a lot. It felt me so excited that I sometimes found myself holding my breath when I was watching it...

who here for communications class lole

nice video

"Picture yourself as this piece of soft, white, toilet paper....let you essence flow into it. Squeeze that charmin! Now watch what I am going to do with this toilet paper, it will shock and amaze you!"...Baaa....Baaaa...Baaaa....be a good sheeple, don't defend yourself, go along with the herd...The hive mind is good.....individual thinking bad....take your pills, put on your non-binary attire...

Thank you TEDx and thank you Mr. Tamm

"A list of common signs of defensiveness"
Me: Oh nice, they are talking about me.

“Our defensiveness helps us hide our fear from ourself.”
Whoah

This is perfectly fitting to my CBT. Thanks

Did you just call me an aggressive animal your .

Having the last word, oh yes.. I do get defensive a lot. Thanku so much, I will surely try these tactics..

Great content and form of communication. Thank you

Simply excellent

What if I know for sure that I get defensive but I have no "action to take" in many situations- for example in early stages of learning or sharing any kind of knowledge- when you're in a classrooom setting, maybe- how can I just leave in the middle to take a walk or go quiet in the middle of a discussion?

I have suffered from defensiveness since I was little. I had felt like a victim most of time as a child , coming from an unhealthy family environment. I am at a point in my life where my future career is threatened because of that and been fired other times because of it as the only reason not because of my lack of competence or production. This video says it all!! It's hard to catch yourself doing it when it's a behavior practiced many times. It's all worth to understand it, and make the change to collaboration.