8 Stages of a Toxic Romance With BPD Man

How do I break up with him. I'm exhausted

Parents can really fuck their kids up smh...

You have the best BPD content. I feel so seen!

4.5 years. He Cheated(12/5) with a girl who is being abused to show her there were good guys out there that wouldn't beat the shit out of her (i was on the other side of the couch 7 feet away with earbuds in and he admitted to cheating the next day but a month later(1/9) you start literally pushing me down and I retaliated with a bite to get you to stop and it warrants you to start throwing punches causing 3 lumps on the back of my head, 1 bad bruise behind the ear, knot on my eye brow, a couple bruises on my leg and a couple scratch marks on my hand. You only got pushed down the stairs by your dad to get you off of me because he watched the 2nd altercation within the 1 minute it lasted between the two literally within a minute. Trying to make me look like the bad guy just saying I got mad over spaghettios and that I pushed you down the stairs 10 ft. Like you PHYSICALLY PUSHED ME TO THE GROUND once then the 3 pushes to get me pushed into the hallway. I know that first altercation before I broke the door storming away you didn't use open hands because my sight went black and blue for a second on both impacts hits on my face. I got pushed multiple times physically to the ground and across the room so of course I'm gonna retaliate to get you to stop and I just only bit you, and you started swinging punches upside my head. And when the door frame popped off you straight up chased after me to start swinging punches. Atleast your dad got to witness the fists flying at me while I was cowering trying to get up the stairs past him.

As a man that has BPD this is all spot on. It is the loneliness life to lead. I now tend to avoid all relationships. To live wanting to have a partner, wanting to be in a healthy relationship, but always knowing that you don't know if that is something you can provide is it's own type of hell. In addition speaking from my own experience the guilt that I feel for the trauma I have passed on to woman I have been with in the past makes it even worst. I have come to accept that I will more then likely be single and alone for the rest of my life, as I don't want to subject anyone to the effects of my BPD.

I've refused to label myself in the ways of having some diagnosis much less disorder. Which after watching things and knowing it aboht myself but feeling isolated in my experience. Its been hard for me to accept that ive had such a hard time implementing the changes to do better for myself. Ive been there and faltered. I say this as a bit of a thank you for heloing me accept the things about myself ive analayzed

Maybe hypnotherapy to heal inner child and a tecnigue called tappping to release trauma stored in the body.

This is totally what just happened to me. The idealation in the beginning, the false accusations of cheating that never made sense, the rage fits, stalking, appologies and promises to change, hidden drug use, suicide fits, threats, psychological terror. Leaving him was terrifying. He started dating a girl his daughters age within days. Now he is slandering me to the worst degree. Never again

I'm seeing a match here to what I just got out of. Very narcissistic and nasty towards the end. 3 yrs of cycles with love cycle getting shorter and shorter. I was so busy trying to tell him in many ways he needed to chose to help himself so he doesn't hurt those he loves and himself especially his daughter. Now that it ended it was only a week and he is already love bombing other women. I also discovered when he was leaving he was on his discards over the past 6 months he's been bar hopping not going to his dad's. So so many lies. I stopped digging for more evidence it's sickening. It was the best and worst love in my life. I'm drained and feel like the guy in the mosh pit who's being bounced around like a limp rag doll. And now all I do is worry and hope I can get a lawyer that will help my daughter be safe with me because she doesn't deserve that especially if after everything from emotional to physical he still doesn't want to help himself so his daughter won't be exposed to such trauma. He thinks I'm the cause when I know dam well looking in his past he will repeat it on to the next

Hearing the story of most of my relationships from the receiving perspective is terrifying. I feel trapped. I can't control my feelings. The thoughts feel real and take over me. I'm afraid i can't be loved and thats all i really want.

You're part of the reason we don't get help. It's disgusting.

Ugh yes

I call myself part-time-Borderline, cuz I fall for BPD girls a lot. So I inherit the systems every so often.

can a relationship with an avoidant/narc woman bring bdp out of someone ?i never had a many of these issues untill about a year and a half into a relationship with her ??

Im a male with bpd and I never realized how exhausting I was

My narcissistic friend married a bpd man and on social media she gushes about their magical love blah blah blah tagging him about five times a day all while he is depressed or angry or whatever else going on that she is hiding.

I believe strongly I have bpd and also strongly I see autism adhd in me all my life. I always attracted bpd men as normal men didn’t have that charisma and spark , too monotonous on first dates - bland … so I always had love bombers - bpd therefore myself I was always distant at the start due to my autism I believe. I function well in life so I’m not that bad as it may sound about me haha … but I believe that anyone who complain that was in a relationship with bpd - must have also disorder - to me is very strange to believe that all the ones who complains as victims are pure souls - o want anyone to answer me here with fair thinking and honesty - do you think you also have bpd or other disorders ? Did you date anyone normal and stable for long term before them ? I want to understand what kind of taints in person ( that is victim) attract these bpd people

The first three months is crucial to observe behaviour in a relationship. Toward the end of this period, behaviours will be revealed, and it's question of whether to stay or go. For me, it's a matter of leaving the moment the behaviours occur - because most of the time the people have no idea they are borderline. Have been through this once for too many years, never again. The moment a person discloses they have BPD to me, I'm out. I know what's on the horizon and life is way too short to endure it.

I fucking hate how accurately you described every relationship I had with a girl.. Ugh

Yep. I'm about to be alone and not even get a dog.

My bpd must be speed running the cycles cause he was already yelling and making false delusional accusations the first week

I’m a male with BPD but I’m glad I can go to the internet to be reminded of how utterly hopeless and pointless my chances are in life. Thanks !

This is me. I hate everything about this thing inside me the more I learn what I actually am. She suffered trying to love me all while I had no idea what I am or what I was doing to her. I had no end goal that truly put her first and above my own fear and insecurity, I couldn’t see her need over my own. I know she still loves me and I know that I do not deserve her or her love.

I filed and received a three year protection from abuse order. The same attorney filed for and I was granted a divorce. If I ever decide to get in a new relationship, my first question will be, do you have a personality disorder? Never knew about Cluster B Disorders. Never again will I ignore red flags. This man literally tried to unalive me several times. Then when I left had the audacity to pretend to not understand why? He will never get help because he doesn’t think he has a problem. It was always other people who made him behave the way he did??? It should be a legal requirement to let someone know you are mentally unwell because you are seriously jeopardizing someone else’s life. Abuse is never acceptable no matter what issues you have!

The way these videos make it seem like BPD is the worst thing ever, you should try to understand that, abandoning someone you love, is not love at all. Y'all don't realize that BPD sufferers have intuition, we feel the separation before it actually happens, y'all just don't like being found out like that, it creeps you out I get it!

Ahaha that’s me 😈 I will not be seeking treatment I am speedrunning character development until I know what I am😏

One thing i wanna comment for the guys here who struggle with bpd the biggest thing that has helped my recovery more than anything was starting mma i always found the mindfulness in dbt was really hard for me to stay focused and I'd end up triggering myself the state of calm and awareness that fighting another person does watching evey movement, ect is the only time my mind is ever completely quiet

Yikes our "good" beginning stage wasn't even good. Idk how I wasted three years on this man.

This describes a relationship I had. I always wondered what was up. He taught me how to stick up for myself, though, and we had a great final year together until he relapsed and OD'ed on Wellbutrin this past year. My heart is permanently broken and I miss him every day.

So true. How do I get "officially" diagnosed.

What if both parties have BPD? Or even CPTSD?

My BPD ex-boyfriend discarded me after 6 months. He actually boasted openly that his previous girlfriend dragged him to couples' therapy and he successfully manipulated the therapist to "take his side" and conclude that the girlfriend was the problem, not him.
Anyway, I consider myself lucky... Not enough men with BPD are getting help. 😢

I'm in the middle of one of these relationships. I toughed it out for 9 years, but he pushed me away one last time and I don't think I'm coming back. So rough.

Male here with BPD, but I have quiet BPD so all the rage/anger etc is turned inward. I was raised by an NPD mother and the amount of abuse and trauma I went through was horrific. I am glad to be self aware about my condition, because I have been working super hard for the last 6 months to fix my life. This includes remaining single until I can manage my emotions in a healthy way.

Sometimes I find myself getting upset at friends, then I have to remind myself that I never spoke about that issue with them, so I can't be upset if that boundary wasn't established prior. It's a difficult life to have but I am healing.

Thank you for making this video, if anyone wants to ask me any questions I am here.

Im at stage of dissociation and dellusion with a girl that isn't my girlfriend because i was avoidant not to make her feel bad around me, and she found another dude meanwhile and im angry and sad and resoning that it makes sense. Its shame.

I already found a new girl, and cmon i cant live like that.


I want therapy

I just got discarded by a guy with quiet bpd. He made me feel like I was the most important girl in the world. I couldn’t even go to the store without him freaking out. He was threatening suicide and sending goodbye messages to my family so I had to call the police to get him mental health and he said he would never forgive me don’t ever talk to me ever again. I’m the bad guy now even though I organized his entire life and took care of him in almost every way.

Don’t feel sorry for these ppl. They’ll never get the help they need and when they claim they want to change it’s all a manipulation tactic and they’ll start devaluing you again. These ppl are dangerous. One time one tried to put the wrong gas in my car on purpose and i caught them doing it. They’ll damage your property and your life is in danger being around them. Stay away

My gosh. Have you been in my house for 13 years?

I can see how if you do get out of a bpd relationship. You NEVER date again.
Its just so destroying.

My male partner has BPT and I'm worried that this might happen to us. He is getting treatment by medication and visits a psychologist, how often do people with BPT break-up? Are there any early signs to avoid it?

If you're a male with BPD in these comments, let me tell you it doesn't need to be like this. I've been in a happy relationship with a man with BPD (he prefers the term EUPD) for 4 years now. We love each other deeply. His diagnosis only helped us understand him better and be self-aware of how his brain reacts to things. I can safely say this is the healthiest relationship I've been in. The trick is patience and to strive for healthy communication. You are not unlovable

If you suspect you have BPD, is it best to isolate until you see success in treatment?

I'm going through this right now......

You just described my last relationship...

I used to date a guy with bpd or i believe thats what he had. We were together for almost three years and i do miss him sometimes. We had a lot of fun. But there were so many problems that i wouldnt be able to over look long term and we ended up breaking up. Close to the end of the relationship he started telling me alot of his secrets and idk if it was cause he felt comfortable or was trying to guilt me. But he would say he though he had bipolar like his dad and possibly multiple personalities cause he wasnt sure who he was... But i truly believe it was bpd... My relationship followed just how you described. Only when it got to the point of him running away he didnt do that. He just got more and more clingy (which i didnt like cause im a pretty independent person) and insecure and paranoid, and very impulsive, but for some reason also trying to relive past encounters and recreate his fantasies and he told me a lot about the things he secretly liked in that way. Some where understandable but others made me look at him differently and scared me a bit... He wanted me to get a girlfriend or extra boyfriend and have him watch but wanted me to promise to always come back to him. I was honest with how i felt about it and told him i didnt like it, so yet he still pushed the idea. Not respecting me at all... Even mentioning how this guy wants him to meet him at a hotel and how he wants to be with a guy for a while but still be with me and then he started sharing pics of me with his friend and telling me about it like it was nothing bad about it. And was trying to invite his friend over saying i was ok with all of us being together and i said no to tell him i didnt say that, which made his friend mad at me... He started messaging and harrasing the girls at my work, where he used to work at too. I guess trying to get attention... At the time i was also caring for my grandmother and i know it was ruff doing that and handling a relationship but i gave him all the time i could but even if i stayed days with him it still wasnt enough. He always said i didnt give him enough of my time. I guess thats why he acted out towards the women but it was in the worst ways like harrassing them for pictures and other things...

And all that was piling up and i knew i had to get away but was afraid of what he would do, cause i also believed he was abusing meds or drugs at the time to numb himself...
I told him he needed help.

During the break up It got to the point of, if i cant have her no one can, sort of thing and it got scary and i ended up leaving and never seeing him again. Though i felt i had to slowly move further away and do a slow break up... i was afraid if i just cut it off hed do something bad... He kept trying to contact me for months after but eventually stopped when i didnt answer him back... At one point during that he mentioned he had went to therapy and was better but that was like a couple weeks later, no way...

I hated it cause he was a nice guy and very smart but he had problems i couldnt help him with. He had trauma and a lot of pain. That not only affected him but those around him too.... I tried. But he had bad depression and very clingy. He was afraid of loosing me which i understand stems from his abandonment issues and self confidence and i tried to reassure him but he made it into a self fufilling prophecy. And ultimately made his fears a reality .. He started trying more and more to incorporate polyamory into our relationship which i said no to... And started accusing me of cheating when i believe he was the one cheating. Or wanting to be impulsive without loosing me. So he was reflecting all of that back onto me saying go get a girlfriend or another bf but come back to me.... no sorry even if i wanted to he was just too insecure and jealous for that to ever turn out ok... i believe he was the one cheating or wanted to cheat. But never called him out on it. But i never knew for sure.

The last time i was ever at his house, i believe he was abusing meds or on drugs because he wasnt doing well and was always out of it and didnt care. He tried to throw my keys off the balcony, and blocked me from leaving his room for hours. I tried to get him to move and he asked me if i had my pocket knife on me and smiled. Which scared me.... He thought sex and pleasure was love, or a way to keep me around. But it wasnt. He was trying to act playful but he had assaulted me. He fell asleep. i eventually got to leave. But in the moment i didnt necessarily know what happened. Cause my mind was running wild. But when i looked back on it it was assault. I wasnt even that mad at him about it but it disappointed me that at his worse he would disrespect me like that and in other ways... I still wish he could find someone good for him and that he finds motivation to live happily. I hate i couldnt help him but i couldnt keep sending myself down that road with him when i knew where it was going to end.

I'm this person that she talks about is terrible on both sides. My fiance is always said I've done these things but you know I never took it serious I mean I did but in the same respect I was like you do things too and reality she does but past few years I'm realizing more and more that I'm the monster I'm the problem. I think about all the pain and suffering I've created unintentionally just makes me feel even worse.

I'm dating someone who is just diagnosed with BPD, and my therapist told me I need to leave based on my history. I need advice because I'm not sure if mentally I can deal. I suffer from cPTSD, depression, and Anxiety. He is very black and white and quick to say are you gonna leave me.

I’m shivering bc of how spot on this video is. You didn’t say one thing that I havent experienced. I’m so scared to leave my relationship because of what he may be in a fit of rage. And I love him i feel my mental breakdown happening in real time. God please help me

And this is every single of the last four years of my life. Also being a licensed psychiatric registered nurse this is a very accurate and informative video.

Wow. I'm a male with BPD, and can recognize a fair bit of what you said. But your video left me feeling like a horrific p.o.s. not deserving of love or a relationship because any relationship will only be toxic due to me. Fine job as a therapist :P